retired_ajbrittney

The Shocking Truth About Hawkins

For many years Vernon Dobtcheff, infamous Football manager has got away with lies and more seriously, murder!

Vernon Dobtcheff

You may recall in a previous installment, Andrew Hawkins had been booked passage on a radioactive ship. He was informed that the ship was merely carrying garbage. The lie was to be continued once the Hammarskojeld reached port at Helsinborg in Sweden. A Doctor was paid money to inform Hawkins that he was only suffering from food poisoning. However fate took a hand.

Dr Andreas Lingaard

Originally Mr Hawkins was to see Dr Strolheim. He couldn’t see the patient due to illness, so I took his place. When I saw Hawkins I was surprised by his appearance. His skin was blotchy and his hair had shed from his cranium in massive patches. I was reminded of the symptoms of Radiation poisoning, however I couldn’t initially believe that was the problem affecting the patient. I took samples of Mr Hawkins blood, urine and faeces and sent them of to the lab to be analyzed.
The results had come back positive. However Dr Strolheim told me to inform Mr Hawkins he was suffering from food poisoning and exposure to malodorous air.
I was young back then and Strolheim was the senior partner. He could have blacklisted me in the Swedish medical community so I went along with his fabrication. A decision I have regretted ever since!

Dr Lingaard

Dr Strolheim was later struck off the register and imprisoned. He was a drunkard and was responsible for many back street abortions. He achieved notoriety in Sweden when he accidentally cut into the lower intestine of a teenager and caused her death during a botched abortion.

Dr Strolheim

Captain Kluiso also plays a major part in this story. He skippered the Hammarskojeld, the ship that carried Hawkins. Kluiso is also very well known. He vanished soon after the radioactive contamination of vast tracts of the North and Baltic Seas.

Captain Kluiso

One of his deckhands gave us this testimony, he didn’t want to be identified.

Kluiso was paid money by a strange Britisher. He was to kill another foreigner by keeping him next to the containment holds. Those holds were full of isotopes at the end.

We have sent off for the documents pertaining to Andrew Hawkins treatment in Sweden. We expect they will prove that he was suffering from radiation poisoning.

Andrew Hawkins died a broken man. In his final years his marriage broke up and he turned to drink. He left behind one daughter.

Andrew Hawkins

Hawkins daughter

We will discover the truth!

retired_amyslack

Just got caught up with this and I have to say that it is a very entertaining tale. :thup:

BarryLFC

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>For many years Vernon Dobtcheff, infamous Football manager has got away with lies and more seriously, murder! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Priorities! Lying is simply wrong, murder just unadvisable.

retired_ajbrittney

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HD:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>For many years Vernon Dobtcheff, infamous Football manager has got away with lies and more seriously, murder! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Priorities! Lying is simply wrong, murder just unadvisable. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If you get caught!

Thanks BobBev

retired_ajbrittney

Continuing the Football side of this tale.

We were home to Hayes for our next game. Hayes was struggling badly in the league and we fancied our chances. We were missing Salt through suspension however, so I brought in Gibbens. I also tried to experiment. Heathcote came back in on the Left of defence, I moved Marshall to Right Midfield.

Sutton Utd v Hayes

We got off to an awful start. I was to blame in many respects, I gave Quinton bad instructions. He played too close to Schon for much of the first half and that let the opposition in. Hayes went 1-0 up within 3 minutes, Clement James using his pace to beat the defence.

I had to frantically shout at Quinton to get him back into position. Gibbens was also having a poor game in Midfield, so I moved him back into the centre, he was much happier there.

We totally dominated Hayes in the second half but found it difficult to obtain a clear-cut chance. Kevin Larvin came to our rescue, in Injury time. Dozens of crosses had been put into the box to little effect, however Coburn’s 90th minute cross found his head and the ball went in.

Sutton Utd 0) 1-1 (1 Hayes

A game we should have won, both on paper and in practice. Larvin had another good game and I continue to be impressed with Schon’s commitment.

With that draw we dropped to third following Margate’s easy win at Carshalton. I reckon they lost deliberately to spite us.

I was very wary of the trip to Hayes. They had routed us at The Borough Ground, they should prove a difficult test.

One similarity with the last game was our lack of fitness. A jaded team would play in Essex. Luckily I had Salt back from suspension, so our firepower would be enhanced. I was well aware of the threat of Eastwood and Leroy Griffiths, so I gave Warner and Murphy the job of marking them.

Grays Athletic v Sutton Utd

This game got off to a good start. We pressured Grays down the wings and had a few awry early shots. Grays soon got back into the game though and showed the vulnerabilities off our defence. Eastwood and Griffiths drew our defenders out of position and allowed their midfield runner to find his way through. Only good keeping from Allaway denied him.
Despite their advantage, we took the lead. Marshall and Haylock interplayed well on the edge of the area, playing in Salt to score with a 20 yarder.
Predictably Grays piled on the pressure. They now had a 3-man attack, exposing my central defence even more. I was forced to cull their marking duties.
Things seemed to settle down. It was during this lull that Grays equalized.
Nutter put a cross in, Eastwood stuck his foot out to control it, the ball bounced off it and found the net.

It was 1-1 at half time. My team was suffering fatigue so I had to make changes. I brought on Corbett to fill in for Quinton in defensive midfield.
The second half continued in a similar vein to the first, Grays dominated, though our showing was a little better. Allaway made a few good saves and Murphy was resolute in defence.

The game finished 1-1. A much better showing than the debacle at Gander Green Lane. In the big game of the day, Margate lost at home to Hornchurch, so we were back in second.

Grays Athletic 1) 1-1 (1 Sutton Utd

A decent team performance. Allaway Beckford and Murphy were especially impressive.

The team remained at full strength for the visit of Weston Super Mare. They were languishing in mid table so I expected results.

Sutton Utd v Weston Super Mare.

Oh what a dire game. Weston dominated the midfield but had very few chances. Kevin Larvin missed two sitters for us. Then in the final five minutes Weston scored thanks to Adie Mings. Allaway was to fault for the goal.

We couldn’t get back in and slipped to third. Meanwhile Hornchurch pulled further ahead.

Sutton Utd 0) 0-1 (0 Weston Super Mare

A very average performance from the team. Larvin and Allaway did poorly for us. Shame for Larvin, Martin will be back for the next match.

Crunch time against Hornchurch. Andrew Martin returned to the team. No changes apart from that

Hornchurch v Sutton Utd

A bloody awful game the worst team performance of the season. I do not want to talk about it at length. Suffice to say we were played off the park. Not a single player had a good game, not one.

Hornchurch 1) 4-0 (0 Sutton Utd

A worrying run we have had recently, changes have to be made. They will be made. Twelve game without defeat before Weston, now we have gone Four games without a win. Things must improve.

retired_ajbrittney

After the horror show that was Hornchurch I needed a pick-me-up. A home match against hated rivals Carshalton Athletic should do the trick. Despite the shame of the previous match I decided to keep the same team. I think my tampering with the formation lost us the last game.

Sutton Utd v Carshalton Athletic

Sutton’s ground is renowned for it’s poor acoustics. Away fans often claim that our support is poor, I disagree, Sutton fans don’t have to Holler to show their support.

We got off to a good start. Salt volleyed from a Coburn cross just after kickoff and Haylock did well to connect with a Schon freekick, forcing Searle into a fine save. Carshalton eventually got the measure of us though and started to stifle our play.
The half settled into a dull tepid affair, Carshalton’s only chance coming from a wayward Le Bihan freekick.

Going into the second half it was obvious that changes needed to be made. I shifted the attack onto the flanks, I needed to pay to our strengths.
My new tactic had a mixed effect. Chances were more plentiful nut we conceded possession in midfield.
Twenty minutes into the half I decided to relieve some of my tired legs. Larvin Buckley and Corbett came on for Haylock, Salt and Murphy. These would prove to be vital substitutions.
Larvin put us in the lead. It was a fine run from 35 yards, he cut through the defence and finished well.
Carshalton piled men into the attack but their efforts proved fruitless. Two minutes from time we finished them off. Martin earlier had set up Larvin, now he returned the favour, his cross was excellent and Martin headed in

Another great win against our hated rivals.

Sutton Utd 0) 2-0 (0 Carshalton Athletic

Another good performance from the boys. Schon and Martin were solid in defence, Larvin and Martin paired up well in attack. Beckford was again excellent in attack.

Havant & Waterlooville had proved to be a difficult test during our last encounter. My desired team would be available to face them down in Sussex. On the plus side they no longer had the services of Dean Holdsworth.

Havant & Waterlooville v Sutton Utd

This was a lucky game for us. Havant dominated and had several clear cut chances. Their finishing was awful though. We only had one good chance but Martin blasted it over.

Our problem was that Havant was very good at building up play on the wings. I only countered them by stopping the attacking runs of my wingers and pushing up the fullbacks.

Havant & Waterlooville 0-0 Sutton Utd

I was actually happy with the draw. It was during this match that I discovered a tactical era on my part and the lack of initiative my players suffered from. A few games back I had ordered my squad to attack on the counter. They made the mistake of assuming that is what I wanted from them every game. No wonder we were thrashed against Hornchurch, my players were on a leash.

A good team performance. Allaway, Schon, Warner and Beckford were the shining stars.

My players were happy to have a nice two week rest from action. Their return to action would be a theoretically easy match at home to relegation candidates Dorchester.

According to my physio Murphy was in need of a rest. I dropped him to the bench and put Corbett in his place.

Sutton Utd v Dorchester Town

I could tell by the way they bounded into the pitch, that Dorchester was going to cause me trouble. They seemed to be really pumped up for the game and they didn’t disappoint me.

The first half was all Dorchester. My attacking players were totally unable to make inroads into their defence and ceded most of the possession. Saying that we did restrict Dorchester to long range shots. By half time they were in the ascendancy however.

For the second half I took off the woeful Quinton. Corbett moved into midfield and Murphy came on into defence.
Dorchester seemed to be of a mind to settle for a point. They just sat behind the ball and were content to bat it about. I moved Salt back into the central areas to win more possession. That didn’t seem to work so Buckley and Larvin came on in an attempt to shake things up.
Buckley was lively on the wing but his distribution was awful. He ended up making the best of mistakes. He took a free kick near the right corner flag. The ball drifted in over the keeper and into the net.
Dorchester piled their players into attack but for all their industry, they suffered from a lack of creativity.

We just managed to win. It is worrying though that we struggled against a side who are doing so badly.

Sutton Utd 0) 1-0 (0 Dorchester

Just 4 more games to go this season. Hornchurch were crowned champions thanks to their win at home to Carshalton. Margate is guaranteed a playoff place. We only need a win or two draws to be certain of a playoff position. Redbridge and Cambridge City are eleven points behind us and will lose out if they slip up.

We have two home and two away games to look forward to.

Weymouth (h) 12th
Bognor Regis (a) 8th
Eastbourne (a) 22nd
Newport County (h) 4th

These are Redbridge’s fixtures.

St Albans (a) 11th
Welling (h) 19th
Bishop’s Stortford (h) 14th
Cambridge City (a) 7th

Cambridge’s

Thurrock (h) 9th
Maidenhead (a) 20th
Basingstoke (a) 15th
Redbridge (h) 6th

We have a slightly more difficult run-up than those two teams, however the meet each other on the last day of the season, what a thrilling encounter that could be!

retired_ajbrittney

The first of out big games came up, home to mid table Weymouth. I was determined not to lose this one.

Due to his recent poor form I dropped Quinton. Corbett got called into his place. Apart from that the side was unchanged.

Sutton Utd v Weymouth

Weymouth made a bright start to the game, troubling the goalkeeper initially. I did what I always did and pushed up the defenders whilst reining in the wingers. It worked a treat.
Andrew Martin put us two up by half time. He has truly been a dangerous player for us recently.

The fading form of Garry Haylock has worried me. He has now gone eight games without a goal. He was unfit for the second half, so I replaced him with Larvin.

The second half started like the first ended, with Sutton in complete control. However Phil Salt changed things with his second booking, a stupid handball. With him off I was forced to take off Martin in bring on Gibbens to strengthen midfield. Larvin would be the lone man up front!
Weymouth piled on the pressure but we did not collapse beneath it. We held on to gain all 3 points. At the end of the match I discovered that we had secured a playoff place. Excellent

Sutton Utd 2) 2-0 (0 Weymouth

A workmanlike performance, Martin was outstanding in attack and won us the game.

With us safe in a playoff position perhaps I’ll be able to rotate in some faces that haven’t seen much action. Phil Salt is in trouble for his foolish sending off.

For the game at Lewes I decided to rest a few players. Salt was suspended so I gave Honey his first start of the season. Allaway made way in goal for Hodges. Hodges played well in his first game but Allaway had impressed me more.

Bognor Regis v Sutton Utd

We got off to a bright start but Bognor clawed their way back into it. Although the result wouldn’t change anything at this stage I did want my players to have a good game. Two pivotal moments would change things for us.

The first was a harsh penalty due to an alleged foul by Warner that was nonsense. Bognor took the lead from that penalty and soon scored another goal through open play.

The second incident was the sending off of Beckford for a second bookable offence. After that we had no way back in and Bognor beat the snot out of us.

Bognor Regis 2) 4-0 (0 Sutton Utd

Despite the new faces this was an abysmal performance. Honey and Hodges did not cover themselves in glory. As bad as our Hornchurch loss and another rout. I felt like committing murder following this game.

More changes were made for the game away to bottom of the table Eastbourne. Gibbens, Ajoge and Buckley were the unfamiliar faces in the team. Eastbourne had nothing to play for this year.

Eastbourne Borough v Sutton Utd

Another poor game from us. Eastbourne totally dominated the midfield. They were two nil up by half time. We didn’t collapse like we did at Bognor and even got a goal back through Salt, however I was very disappointed to lose.

Eastbourne Borough 2) 2-1 (0 Sutton Utd

Hodges had a superb game in goal.

That takes us up to the final game of the league season, home to Newport County. I didn’t want to disappoint the fans, so I decided to play as strong a team as possible.

I indeed had a full strength team to choose from. Newport County would prove a stern test.

Sutton Utd v Newport County

We got off to a bad start and went one nil down within fifteen minutes. Newport stepped of the pedals after that though and we were allowed back in. Our only good chance of the half was a Haylock shot that was well saved by their keeper.

Haylock has suffered a drop in form in the last quarter of the season and I had no alternative but to sub him for Larvin. Larvin has a good claim to be in the starting lineup and he didn’t disappoint. He was able to convert our Second Half domination into a goal, overpowering their goalkeeper.

Newport held onto their singular point. It was a much improved team performance compared to the horror that had gone before.

Sutton Utd 0) 1-1 (1 Newport County

The league is now over and in low key fashion, my players will really earn their credits in the playoffs. I wonder whom we’ll face.

Final League Standings

retired_ajbrittney

With baited breath we await information as to whom we’ll face in the Playoffs. Havant & Waterlooville are drawn out of the hat. Not a bad draw, at least we have never lost against them.

My biggest dilemma before the game concerns two positions. Tony Quinton has been the main man in the Defensive Midfield slot this season but in the last few games he seemed to be losing form. When I brought in Corbett he seemed a lot more solid if less talented technically

Garry Haylock was superb up until Mid Season, then he went 11 games without a goal. Kevin Larvin has been impressive in the few starts he has made and has the better recent goal scoring form.

Reliability against technique, Experience versus youth. In the end I plump for Reliability and Experience. Corbett and Haylock get the nod

Conference Playoff Semi Final First Leg
Havant & Waterlooville v Sutton Utd

I concentrate our attacks down the flanks and Havant find it very difficult to reply. However their marking of my two strikers denies any real chances. They are also very aggressive in the tackle, earning three yellow cards.
Our first good chance fell for Salt, who was found in space by Schon. Sadly his shot was well wide.
I instructed Martin and Haylock to make some runs to the wings, I was hoping to pull the Havant defenders out of position. My new tactic paid immediate dividends.
Beckford found Haylock on the wing. He crossed into the area and Martin’s marker was slow in tracking him. Martin rarely misses a headed chance and he didn’t disappoint on this occasion.

At Half Time we held the advantage and were value for money. Due to their high number of cards, I instructed certain players to put in stern challenges. A few reds would help us nicely.

Havant shifted up a gear in the second half, their players also failed to take the bait and did not receive any more cards. In fact Sutton gained all the cards given out in the half.
Havant scored from a corner just after the restart, but fortunately it was disallowed due to a foul in the area.
When Havant did equalize it was due to their most dangerous player, Gavin Holligan. Murphy must take some blame for the goal, he got caught up field, Holligan broke on the counter and finished with ease.
We managed to hold them for the rest of the half, though we had a hairy moment when a freekick came back of the bar and found Holligan. Allaway was very brave to throw himself in the way of the shot.
One all. I’d have preferred a win but at least we don’t have to chase the game during the return.

Havant & Waterlooville 0) 1-1 (1 Sutton Utd

Allaway, Schon, Warner and Martin had good games, Warner was especially solid in defence. Marshall had a bit of a quiet game in defence.

Corbett was injured for the return leg at Gander Green lane, so Quinton returned to the side. That was the only alteration I needed to make.

Playoffs Semi Final Second Leg
Sutton Utd v Havant & Waterlooville

Havant employed a 5-3-2 so I concentrated my attacks down the wings. Havant once again proved difficult to break down. Salt received the first clear-cut chance but his tame shot was no problem for their keeper.
The next good chance fell to Havant on the break. Holligan had plenty of space but fortunately blasted the ball over.
In the 33rd minute a disastrous thing happened. Quinton was penalized for tugging Champion’s shirt. He received a yellow card and was most unhappy. Ian Harris had no alternative but to send him off.
I was furious with Quinton. To get sent off in such an important match was the height of stupidity. He will receive no wages for two weeks.
My shape was now broken. I had to take off Haylock to ensure that my team was secure defensively. Fear came on in Quinton’s place.
Despite our disadvantage we had the best of the chances during the remainder of the half. Martin broke free a few times but blasted over the bar.

Half time no score! Things could be a lot worse but due to our disadvantage we’d have to react to Havant’s ploys, rather than create some off our own.

I knew we’d be under the cosh, however we had some good chances of our own, always on the breakaway. The first fell to Beckford, the second to Watkins, who had come on for the very tired Coburn. Sadly both of them pulled the ball wide.
Havant had the best chance of the match though, Holligan again was dangerous and was unlucky to hit the post. Fortunately Warner was in the perfect spot to deny their follow up.
I tried to hold up the substitutions as long as I could. I finally brought on Larvin just before the end of Normal Time, hopefully he will cause pandemonium.

End of Normal Time
Sutton Utd 0-0 Havant & Waterlooville

Havant had all the best chances in the First period and unfortunately ten minutes in, took the lead. Holligan provided a cross that Skelton was all too happy to nod in.

Going into the second period I had no choice but to push my men forward. Fear went into Central Midfield and I instructed Salt to run into the box. We achieved nothing though. Havant held onto their lead.

Sutton Utd 0) 0-1 (0 (aet) Havant & Waterlooville

Tony Quinton has a lot to answer for, he has effectively ended our season and he is out of my favours.

We did better than I expected this season, however inconsistent patches prevented us from doing better. Next season we can build on it and perhaps gain automatic qualification.

retired_ajbrittney

That is the first ever playoff I have needed to participate in. I am used to quick success in this game, however the computer is a lot better at adapting to tactics and is showing up my weakness in the area. I do feel like a novice manager!

retired_ajbrittney

2004/2005 Roundup

Well it has been an eventful season, the Premiership campaign was without a doubt, the most open it has been for ages, unfancied teams contested the FA Cup final and England went from strength to strength in the International arena.

Premiership

Premier Table

As predicted the Premiership ended up as a three-way race between Arsenal, Man Utd and Chelsea. However Aston Villa and Liverpool were up there for a long time. Liverpool faded away around February and Villa only lost it Mid April.

The 7th of May was the critical date. Arsenal and Man Utd were on 73 and 70 points respectively. Chelsea was reliant on the form of the other two to catch up.

Arsenal were away to relegated Charlton, Chelsea were away to Europe chasing Newcastle and Man Utd traveled to Southampton, who were also in contention for Europe.

First up was Arsenal. Charlton played very well and Matt Holland cancelled out Henry’s early lead. Charlton were equal to Arsenal up till the last minute when Henry scored his second of the game. It was the winner. Advantage Arsenal.

Chelsea also had to fight for their points. They were helped by the late sending off of Jermaine Jenas. It took a last gasp goal from Frank Lampard to get the points though.

The match that would have a real effect was between Southampton and Man Utd. It was a tough game, maybe due to the fact that nobody distinguished themselves. Maybe the fact that Roy Keane was quiet nobbled Man Utd. Wayne Rooney cancelled out Marian Pahars opener but Brett Ormerod dented Man Utd’s chances with a goal deep in injury time.

Chelsea and Man Utd were now reliant on Arsenal losing their last game of the season at home to Newcastle. United did their bit and routed Portsmouth at Old Trafford, however Arsenal bested Newcastle in a tough encounter. Arsenal once again were English champions.

The relegation battle was more clear-cut. WBA and Charlton surprisingly, were doomed before the final run in. The last relegation place was contested between Bolton and Norwich. Bolton needed Norwich to lose and a win at Chelsea to have a chance of staying up. It was too tall an order. Bolton joined WBA and Charlton in relegation misery.
Replacing them in the Premiership next year are Wigan, Gillingham and Wolves. Wolves beat Nottingham Forest 3-2 in a thrilling encounter.

Havant & Waterlooville made their way to the Playoff finals and defeated Droylsden. Lovett once again scored the vital goal.

Here are the final standings.

FA Cup

There were a few surprises in this competition, though nothing major. Doncaster beat Crystal Palace in 2-1 at home, Sheff Wed defeated Man Utd at Old Trafford in the Fourth round. However the major achievers were Torquay. They defeated both Birmingham and Man City before losing at home to Crewe in the Fifth Round.

Crewe was the surprise finalist in this competition. They had an easy ride up till the 6th round when they knocked out Chelsea. In the semi’s they defeated Fulham 3-2 in an epic match.

Portsmouth knocked out Premiership opposition in the form of Southampton, Tottenham and Arsenal in the Semi’s.

The final was a little one sided, Portsmouth went up within 4 minutes but were surprised by a quick equalizer from their League opposition. They soon went ahead and finished the tie off just before the end.

Three one to Portsmouth, they are the FA Cup champions.

European Competitions

The earliest shock was the knockout of Deportivo in the qualifying stages by Shakhtar. However the Euro Champions Cup was lacking in surprises and the final was contested between Juventas and Bayern Munich. Emerson won it for Juve in the 33rd minute with a header from a corner.

Middlesbrough were the surprise winners of the Euro Cup, with a flattering 3-0 against Ajax in the Final.

So that's the season in brief.

Championship Table

Divison 1 Table

Divison 2 Table

Conference Table

Conf North Table