shannon2007

David le Spliff is dead

Very excellent story, well deserved award tbh.

retired_confal2

Thanks PM7. I still enjoy writing this, but it took me five pages to get to the start of the second season, and I'm a little concerned about that. Then again, it's not like I have a deadline or anything (other than impending lung cancer)...


Diary entry (source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -entry dated 14th July 2004.


In our second friendly game we played host to mighty AS Monaco, who finished second in Ligue 1 last season, behind surprise champions Montpellier but ahead of Nantes, Paris Saint-Germain and favourites Lyon. This was also our first game at La Bocca, which is why it was so disappointing that less than a thousand people turned up. Those who did make it, however, were treated to a good display of open, attacking football, and I was particularly pleased with our passing and movement, which overwhelmed an admittedly youthful Monaco side. The 2-1 scoreline might have weighed far more heavily in our favour, but goalkeeper Flavio Roma -one of only four first-team players on the pitch for the Principautaires- produced an excellent string of saves to restrict us to two goals. I was also impressed by the way the team kept its cohesion, even after the eleven starting players had been substituted.

Big Mike had a stroke of genius and decided to organise a friendly tournament, which will take place over three days at La Bocca. The teams he invited -and somehow convinced to take part- are Wasquehal, Le Havre and...the club I have supported since childhood, our mighty south-eastern neighbours Olympique de Marseille! I just can't wait for the day to arrive...

The tournament has been christened the Trophée Charly Loubet, in honour of the long-serving assistant, who is now the manager of Wasquehal after being offered the job last season. I've kept in touch with Charly since he left us, and although he hasn't had an easy time of it so far, he's lost none of his enthusiasm for the game. This will be the club's way of thanking him for decades of loyal service, and it's bound to be a happy, relaxed occasion for all involved. At least, until we're sitting in the dugout and the whitle goes...

On the evening after the win over Monaco, I walked past the bookie's and suddenly had an idea. I walked in, and asked what the odds were on Cannes ending up as Ligue 2 champions. Ten to one, I was told, with Le Havre favourites at seven to four. I went back out onto the street, headed for the nearest cash machine and took out two hundred Euros. I then walked back into the bookie's, placed the bet and wondered whether what I was doing was somehow wrong. In the end I decided that as long as I was betting on us, there could be no 'conflict of interests', and that I was as entitled to place my bet as any other punter. I hope I was right, but it's done so there's not much point worrying about it any further...

shannon2007

Unless the story making the game boring is erm, making the game boring, (ie cos I find sometimes the game doesnt move fast enough if I do too much depth, but then I have other games and thats actually why) it really doesnt matter if you take 5 pages or 100 pages per season if its quality and this is.

retired_confal2

Cheers. I might try running two stories at the same time, but I very much doubt I could manage more than that...


Transcript of an intercepted cellular phone communication (source: unknown). Recorded at 21:37 on 15th July 2004.

Notes: Identifying source codes occulted by scrambling device (type unknown). Forensics testing was negative.


*click*

- "Yes?"

- "Are you alone?"

- "Yes...Yes sir, I am."

- "Good. Now listen carefully. Unless the girl is found within the next week, our people will pursue the matter themselves."

- "Bu..."

- "Silence! The next few weeks will be crucial, and nothing can be allowed to jeopardise the operation. Have I made myself clear?"

- "Yes, sir. Very clear."

- "Your last report was highly unsatisfactory. I would urge you to think very carefully about your situation, and to take the appropriate measures. Our friends grow increasingly impatient with your excuses, and your usefulness is on the wane."

- "Sir, I..."

- "I don't want to hear it. One week -that's all you and your idiot brother have got. You will hear from me. Soon."

*click*

retired_confal2

Diary entry (source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -entry dated 18th July 2004.


It was around six in the evening and I was at home, making some notes for tomorrow's game against Marseille, which would kick off the Trophée Charly Loubet at La Bocca. There was a knock at the door. I hadn't been expecting anyone, and I assumed it must be the landlord or one of my neighbours since no-one had buzzed for the main door.

I put away the smoking paraphernalia and walked over to the door. No sooner had I opened it that I was pushed back into the flat, my right arm in a tight grip behind my back, and a gloved hand covering my mouth. The door slammed shut.

- "Are you alone?" I was asked. My assailant was definitely French, probably from the south-east, and he was a good six inches taller than me. Not to mention considerably stronger.

I nodded slowly, and the grip on my arm was relaxed a little.

- "Make a sound and I'll break it." I was guided towards the sofa, then pushed onto it roughly. I turned round, slowly, and got my first proper look at the man. He was about six-four, and wide at the shoulders. Crew-cut dark hair, brown eyes set in a tanned, youngish face. Faded jeans, a black t-shirt and a pair of runners. He seemed to be more or less my age, and he was pointing an automatic of some sort in the general direction of my face.

- "Don't move" he ordered, and walked into my bedroom. I heard some crashing around for about ten seconds, the door to the bathroom open and shut, and then he was once again standing in front of me. He put the weapon in his waistband, and raised a placating hand.

- "Look, I'm sorry about the cowboy entrance, but I had to make sure."

- "Who the hell are you?" I managed, still a little shaky from the sudden and sustained rush of adrenaline.

- "Laurent Giacomelli. I'm with the OCU."

- "OCU?!"

- "Organized Crime Unit. Listen, I don't have time to explain, as I can't take the chance of staying here more than a few minutes. Our unit is investigating the activities of capitaine Bertuzzi. We have reason to believe that he is on the payroll of several criminal organisations, and we need your help."

- "My help? What is it you want?"

- "He"ll be at the game tomorrow, won't he?"

- "Well...probably, yes...I don't think he missed one all season..."

- "Good. I need you to introduce me to him as a relative of yours."

- "A relative? Why a relative?" He shook his head, a wry, tired grin appearing gradually.

- "A relative. Just like your uncle Albert."

- "What does my uncle have to do with any of this?"

- "I told you. I don't have time to explain. You will introduce me to Bertuzzi as your cousin Maurice, and I will take it from there. You can arrange for us to have a drink with him after the game, can't you?"

- "I suppose so..."

- "Good. Don't worry about it, everything will run along just fine. I'll come up to you after the game, and you'll greet me as though I were a long-lost friend. By that stage, of course, you will already have arranged to meet Bertuzzi later, and bringing me along will be the most natural thing in the world. Got it?"

- "I think so." He moved towards the door. "When will I get some explanations?" I asked.

- "Soon. But there's still a lot that we can only guess at, and guesswork is frowned upon by magistrates these days...Listen, sorry about the arm -and the gun- but I'm not in a position to take any chances." I waved off the apology. "Better be off, I've stayed here too long already. Oh, and by the way, nice smell..." And with that he went out the door and shut it behind him.


Since then I've been struggling to put my thoughts in order. So Bertuzzi was being hounded by the Organized Crime Unit -I wasn't too surprised to hear he was corrupt, to be honest. Much more worrying to me was the side reference Giacomelli had made about Oncle Bébert. There was obviously a hell of a lot going on way over my head, and some of it had already directly affected one of my players. It made me wonder how much Bébert really knew about this. Or Big Mike, for that matter...

I think it's fairly safe to say that I've got a long, sleepless night ahead of me. Just what I need on the eve of the game against Marseille...

retired_jgirl87

Dave, I've just spent the last couple of days catching up with this story and I just wanted to say that it is extremely well written and certainly maintains one's attention.

Now that I am up to date, I'll be happily able to read each new installment of this excellent story as it appears. Top stuff. :thup:

retired_confal2

Kind of you to say so, Spav. I expect I'll be keeping this one crawling along for a while yet...



Game reports (source: 'Bocca Vera!' fanzine, special edition, Trophée Charly Loubet).


19th July 2004, La Bocca (att. 5924). Day One.

AS Cannes 2
Olympique de Marseille 0

Goals: Janssen (1-0, 28), Zoko (2-0, 71).
Shots: AS Cannes 16(8), Marseille 0(0).

Once again in this pre-season campaign, Cannes looked much sharper than their Ligue 1 opponents. Marseille finished eighth in last season's Ligue 1, but they were humiliated by what looked like a much weaker team on paper. They were unable to create a single chance on goal, and Marseille manager Gérard Prêcheur was at a loss to explain his team's listlessness in the opening game of the tournament.

Cannes' goals included young Dutch striker Tim Jannsen's first for the club, a clinical strike from a narrow angle after Moustaïd had played him through with a delightful chip from the halfway line. The second was a splendid free-kick from Zoko, blasted past Runje's despairing lunge from twenty yards out, straight into the top right-hand corner.

As the final whistle was blown, an unusually large crowd watched on in obvious amusement as manager Le Spliff leapt out of his dugout, no doubt in his keenness to shake the hands of Marseille staff and players. Having supported Marseille since he was a child, this was his first opportunity to face them on the field of play, and he played down the result by commenting on the differences in physical preparation between the two sides:

"Most of the Marseille players have only just returned to training, whereas we started our preparation early this year. Having said that, the lads put on a great display this afternoon, and I was very pleased with what I saw out there. New players are fitting in very smoothly, and the team is functioning well as a unit already, whichever players are picked. This is a very encouraging sign of things to come, I think, and I can only hope that we are able to start off the Ligue 2 campaign with the same kind of appetite."

In today's other game, Le Havre beat Wasquehal 3-0 with an early brace by Fauconnier and a late goal by Ducrocq.


20th July 2004, La Bocca (att. 788). Day Two.

AS Cannes 1
Wasquehal 1

Goals: Aït-Ouarab (0-1, 53), Zoko (1-1, 72).
Shots: AS Cannes 15(6), Wasquehal 1(1).

An emotional occasion for Charly Loubet, Wasquehal manager and assistant at Cannes for many years before that.

His team held on for a draw, opening the score in the fifty-third minute with their only chance of the game, a poor clearance falling to Aït-Ouarab's feet, which he powered into the top right-hand corner of Chaigneau's goal from twenty yards. Twenty minutes later Cannes finally scored, a good low cross by Viltard from the left of the box finding Zoko, whose diving header from the penalty spot found the net.

But for all their pressure, this young Cannes side -with first-team players rested in between the first and third games- failed to grab more than the one goal, and towards the end of the game Siramana Dembelé suffered a calf strain which will force him out for at least three weeks.

The other game saw Marseille draw with Le Havre 2-2, with goals by Chapuis and Amdy Faye for Marseille, and Fauconnier and Bertin for Le Havre. Cannes and Le Havre both have four points from two games, Marseille have two points and Wasquehal one.


21st July 2004, La Bocca (att. 891). Day three.

AS Cannes 4
Le Havre 0

Goals: Moustaïd (1-0, pen 12; 4-0, pen 58), Inkango (2-0, 35), Diawara (3-0, 45+1).
Shots: AS Cannes 16(5), Le Havre 0(0).

A fine demonstration of passing, attacking football which saw Cannes reign supreme down the flanks and in the middle of the park, whilst the back four left not a single scrap for the opposition to feed upon. This was effectively the deciding game of the tournament, and fittingly the local team ran out clear winners of both.

In the other game, Marseille beat Wasquehal 4-0 to claim second place overall. The goals came from Mido (2), Chapuis and Sytchev.


The final standings are as follows:

1. AS Cannes 7 pts (2 wins, 1 draw)
2. Ol. Marseille 4 pts (1 win, 1 draw, 1 defeat)
3. Le Havre AC 4 pts (1 win, 1 draw, 1 defeat)
4. Wasquehal 1 pt (1 draw, 2 defeats)

retired_tonytranbg79

After being away from it all for a while I'm glad to see your keeping this going. Its as good as ever

retired_bbcarr

just caught up with the last few posts of this. still great stuff :thup: good to see a win over Marseille, even if it was only in a friendly

retired_confal2

Thanks lads, glad you still enjoy this.



Team news and game reports (source: football365.fr, Ligue 2 pre-season updates).


22nd July 2004.

Nicolas Frey, Antoine Maisetti and Claude Panariello are all released on free transfer.


24th July 2004.

Guillaume Plessis (Fra, 19) joins AS Cannes on loan for the rest of the season. The defensive midfielder joins from Sochaux and will most likely provide cover for Suleiman Mohammed.

A member of the Toulouse board admitted that the Ligue 1 club had made an inquiry concerning the possible transfer of Suleiman Mohammed. AS Cannes chairman Michel Salerno stated to the press that the player was not for sale.

Cannes announced the signing of Milan Rapaic (Cro, 31) on a free transfer. The former international can play on the left wing or in behind the front men, and was brought in to make up for the departures of Badr El Kadouri, who returned to Dinamo Kiev at the end of his loan deal, and Garba Lawal.


30th July 2004.

Twenty-one-year-old Belarus international Maxim Tsigalko (21, striker) signed for AS Cannes after Dinamo Minsk accepted their £500.000 offer.

Cannes goalkeeper Florent Chaigneau was called up to the French squad participating in the Olympic Games.


31st July 2004.

AS Cannes signed left winger Steeve Théophile (Fra, 23) from Sedan for an initial £400.000. It is thought a further £400.000 will be paid to the northern club over the next twelve months.


31st July 2004, La Bocca (att. 772).
AS Cannes 4, AS Saint-Etienne 2.

39. Théophile crooses from the left byline to the near post, where Tsigalko controls it before chipping it on to Moustaïd, unmarked at the far post. Moustaïd sidefoots the volley into the net from close range. 1-0.

46. Tsigalko runs down the left and sends in a low, powerful cross to the near post. Toledo slips his marker and dives onto it. The keeper parries the header but the ball falls back to Toledo, who gratefully puts it away at the second attempt. 2-0.

54. Vargas brings down Dogbé in the box. Orinel blasts the penalty into the top right-hand corner. 2-1.

58. Dogbé nods it down to Perrot, unmarked at the edge of the box. Superb volley into the roof of the net. 2-2.

86. Looping free-kick from the left touchline by Plessis. Djibril Diawara rises highest at the far post and heads it past the stranded keeper. 3-2.

90(+2). Corner from the right, sent in by Plessis. Toledo scores a cracking header from near the penalty spot. 4-2.

Very good performance by Cannes, whose fluid passing moves switched play from side to side, with all their attacking players displaying great movement and awareness. Toledo had an excellent game, and the recently-arrived Maxim Tsigalko showed some real menace up front on his non-competitive début. The only cloud on the horizon for the Mediterraneans was the fact that Saint-Etienne scored from both their chances, even though one of these was a penalty.

During the course of the game, young Tim Janssen bruised his right thigh and will be out of action for a few days.


2nd August 2004.

Federico Magallanes is said to have made comments to the press, to the effect that he is unhappy with the increased competition for places at Cannes. The club declined to comment on the matter.


4th August 2004.

AS Cannes' holding midfielder, Suleiman Mohammed, was called up to the Nigerian squad which is to participate in the Olympic Games.


8th August 2004.

Federico Magallanes leaves AS Cannes. He signed for AC Ajaccio (L1) for £1.000.000, which is the club's biggest sale since Le Spliff was brought in as manager.

Cannes have announced the signing of young left-back Denis Stinat (Fra, 21) from Gap (CFA) for £50.000. Stinat will provide cover for Mohellebi, compensating for the departure of Victor Torres Mestre earlier this summer.