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Magnier and McManus are awaiting the arrival of Sir John.
JP “When is he due here then John?”
JM “Should be here any time now. Getting nervous are we?”
JP “Me. Nervous. Never.”
JM “Liar. I was watching you when Rock was on for his 7th win in a row and you were shaking.”
Someone enters the room.
JM “Sir John I take it?”
Sir John SJ “Yes. It is I. Care to enlighten me as to what you would like done? Be warned however I don't suffer fools lightly.”
JM “Well we know all about your reputation.”
JP “Yes is it true you ate a baby?”
JM “Shut up JP. Stopping making yourself in to more of a prat than usual.”
SJ “I'll neither confirm or deny the baby eating rumour as it kind of enhances my menace somewhat.”
JM “Anyway back to what you asked. We are suffering from a minor problem called Sir Alex Ferguson. Ever since we got him fired we've been receiving threats. Naturally it's normal for us to get threats but we know Sir Alex is behind some of them. He sent some one after my chief Jockey to pass a little message along.”
SJ “I see where things are at the moment and I can certainly find out who is aiding Sir Alex. I can also formulate a plan of action for you to get your revenge, so to speak. Naturally my services are not cheap but until I figure out the plan of action and find out who is Sir Alex's helper I'll only charge my standard meeting fee of £50,000.”
JM “Hand over the money JP.”
JP reaches into his pocket and pulls out a large wad of bank notes.
JP “Here you are Sir John. I only have one little request from Keiran. Can you do something about the bloke that attacked him?”
SJ “I am sure that can be worked into the plan very easily. I'll get back to you in a few weeks with my plan and fees.”
JM “Ta Sir John. See ya in a few weeks.”
05-01-2005, 07:56 PM
Sir Alex Throws a Wobbler and Other Seedy Goings on Down at Old Trafford Post #82
Champions League Neu Camp Barcelona
MUTV Commentator
“Good Evening and welcome Spain. Tonight sees the first of two dead matches in the first group stage as United are already through. It is still a strong team that Baxter has picked, presumably to make it harder for Barcelona to qualify. Gary Neville and Heinze both return to the defence, whilst Giggs and Keane return to midfield.
A mixture of youth and experience on the bench is pretty much what can be expected from Baxter these days. The standard 4-3-1-2 formation is being employed once more and looks to be pretty much the way forward.
GK Howard
DL Heinze
DR G Neville
DC Ferdinand
DC Silvestre
MC Keane
MC Ronaldo
MC Giggs
AMC Rooney
FC Van Nistelrooy
FC Smith
Subs:
Heaton
Pique
Bellion
Scholes
Brown
O'Shea
Rossi
05-02-2005, 01:33 AM
Sir Alex Throws a Wobbler and Other Seedy Goings on Down at Old Trafford Post #83
It's not Ronaldinho you have to watch Its fecking Larsson as the result shows. Still we had already qualified for the next stage
Daily Telegraph Match Report
United were easily beaten by a Barcelona far more up for the win. Things started of badly with Smith getting injured after only 3 minutes, even if his replacement, Bellion, was United's best player on the night. Ronaldinho scored an easy goal soon after Smith's injury with the United defence still asleep.
Rooney's goal after half an hour was very opportunistic and was probably a fluke. It looked more like a cross than a long range shot but some how it floated into the back of the net. Barcelona were swift to respond with Larsson heading the ball home past the dire Heinze.
In the second half Barcelona slowed things down a bit but still had more than enough in them to add a third. Larsson scoring from another simple header after Silvestre this time went walkabout.
Barcelona 3 Ronaldinho 4, Larsson 38,63 Manchester United 1 Rooney 31
MOM: Larsson
Booked: Heinze
Attendance: 97997
Ratings: Howard 8, G Neville 7, Silvestre 7, Ferdinand 6, Heinze 6, Keane 6, Ronaldo 7, Giggs 7, Van Nistelrooy 6, Smith 6, Rooney 8, Bellion (Sub for Smith 3 mins) 8, O'Shea (Sub for Silvestre 70 mins) 7, Rossi (Sub for Van Nistelrooy 70 mins) 6
05-02-2005, 04:15 PM
Sir Alex Throws a Wobbler and Other Seedy Goings on Down at Old Trafford Post #84
An exclusive early look at the results of the enquiry into the horse racing bet fixing is set to reveal that top owners John Magnier and JP McManus are heavily involved. There is substantial circumstantial evidence linking them, but nothing has been unearthed that is concrete yet.
Police sources say it is only a matter of time before definite evidence is found. The senior officer leading the enquiry has not ruled out the unprecedented action of requesting details of any communications made by McManus and Magnier from GCHQ.
Further evidence is being continually gathered and several minor players have been arrested already. Polices sources say that some of the big players are likely to be taken in for questioning within a month.
05-02-2005, 10:45 PM
Sir Alex Throws a Wobbler and Other Seedy Goings on Down at Old Trafford Post #88
“A trip to bitter rivals Liverpool is today's match. Several changes in the team from the midweek game. Smith is replaced by Rooney due to his injury, with Scholes slotting in behind the two strikers. Heinze and Silvestre are both dropped for there poor performances and are replaced by Fortune and O'Shea respectively.
The bench is mostly reserves with the exception of Wes Brown as Baxter looks to make a point to the more senior players. “
GK Howard
DL Fortune
DR G Neville
DC Ferdinand
DC O'Shea
MC Keane
MC Ronaldo
MC Giggs
AMC Scholes
FC Van Nistelrooy
FC Rooney
Subs:
Heaton
Pique
Brown
Fletcher
Djordjic
05-04-2005, 02:35 PM
Sir Alex Throws a Wobbler and Other Seedy Goings on Down at Old Trafford Post #89
It might of been a strong team on paper but the result begs to differ
Daily Telegraph Match Report
Liverpool thrashed United tonight after a total failure at the back for United. Yes some of it was down to bad luck with injuries but nevertheless it was a diabolical performance from them. The first goal for Alonso was a bit of an audcious lob that happened to go in but it set the tone for the match.
Van Nistelrooy's equaliser was a sublime volley that he is good at. A stunning cross from Riise early into the second half saw Alonso head home his second goal of the match. A powerful drive from Rooney saw United regain parity once more and a tactical switch soon after saw United get into the game.
An error from Tim Howard saw Cisse manage to score swiftly followed by Gary Neville's dismissal for two yellows. Gerrard scored the fourth soon afterwards wrapping the game up for Liverpool. Luis Garcia's late strike just added misery onto the United Fans.
Liverpool 5 Xabi Alonso 5, 47, Cisse 71, Gerrard 83, Luis Garcia 90 Manchester United 2 Van Nistelrooy 14, Rooney 53
MOM: Riise
Sent Off: Gary Neville
Booked: Gary Neville, Ferdinand
Attendance: 44349
Ratings: Howard 6, G Neville 8, O'Shea 6, Ferdinand 6, Fortune 6, Keane 6, Ronaldo 8, Giggs 7, Van Nistelrooy 8, Scholes 6, Rooney 8, Djordjic (Sub for Scholes 59 mins) 6, Brown (Sub for Ferdinand 59 mins) 6, Pique (Sub for Brown 67 mins) 7
Its fecking Larsson as the result shows. Still we had already qualified for the next stage
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