retired_body_break

ENGLISH PREMIERSHIP

AKINBIYI SILENCES TRAFFORD BOO-BOYS

Stoke City 1-0 Manchester United

A scrappy goal was all it took, and Ade Akinbiyi achieved contentment in the face of all those who labelled him 'the worst striker in the World' during his time at Leicester. Heckled all evening by the United supporters, the Nigerian got his reward when a goalmouth mix up between Ferdinand and Tim Howard allowed him to slam home his first goal of the season. United strove confidently forward, forcing Simon Royce into a series of outstanding one handed saves from Rooney, van Nistelrooy and Giggs, a late substitute. Stoke held firm though, and even threatened a second when a long clearance from John Halls deceived Wes Brown and Ade Akinbiyi connected but drove well wide when through. The jeers were audible, but everyone knew who the last laugh belonged to.

Stoke City (4-4-2): S Royce, T McMahon, W Thomas, J Lescott, A Dawson; F Teale (S Johnson), D Russell, T Gudjonsson, D Everitt (J Halls); A Akinbiyi, T Wright (C Woods).

Man Utd (4-4-2): T Howard, G Neville, R Ferdinand, W Brown (J Spector), M Silvestre; JS Park (A Smith), P Scholes, R Keane, Q Fortune (R Giggs); W Rooney, R van Nistelrooy.

---
LAMPARD ENDS VILLA RESISTANCE

Chelsea 1-0 Aston Villa

A 91st minute strike by Frank Lampard ended the hopes of the valiant Villa defence of securing an impressive draw on Chelsea's home turf. Villa played on the counterattack, Gareth Barry and Wilfred Bouma combining to take advantage of the isolated Paulo Ferreira. Chelsea, whose football seemed more stilted and unoriginal than usual, were restricted to long shots and deep crosses thanks to the energy of Djemba Djemba and Hendrie, who marshalled the game superbly. Only Kanoute could be criticised after he missed a superb chance early in the second half to put Villa in front, opting to try a cheeky lob over Cech which soared over the crossbar, rather than a simple low finish. Drogba was superbly dealt with by Mellberg, whose strength seemed equal to that of the fearsome Ivorian, and Damien Duff, Chelsea's best performer in the first half, retreated early on with an injury. Lampard's winner from Wright-Phillip's cross was ill-deserved, but Villa can be one of few teams to leave Stamford Bridge with their heads held high.

CHELSEA (4-3-2-1): P Cech, P Ferreira, J Terry, W Gallas, A Del Horno; F Lampard, C Makelele, M Essien (J Cole); A Robben, D Duff (S Wright-Phillips); D Drogba (H Crespo).

ASTON VILLA (4-4-2): T Sorenson, A Hughes, O Mellberg, M Laursen, W Bouma; E Cairo (U De La Cruz), L Hendrie, E Djemba-Djemba (G McCann), G Barry; F Kanoute (K Phillips), J Angel.

---
OTHER RESULTS

Leeds 1-1 Bolton
Man City 1-1 Charlton

retired_body_break

ENGLISH PREMIERSHIP

HENRY HUMILIATES UNITED'S FADING FORCES

Arsenal 3-0 Man Utd

Two years ago, this fixture used to represent one of the great rival encounters in the Premiership, as tightly balanced as two teams can be. It was United who ended Arsenal's stunning unbeaten run two seasons ago, though Arsenal are themselves not without their fair share of victories. If any will be as straightforward as last night's however, is open to immediate question. Thierry Henry's hattrick represented not only the Gunners' impressive football but further emphasized the fatigue and despair with which United now play, brought on by the crippling debt from the Glazer takeover. Lacking the power of Heinze down the left or the unpredictability of Ronaldo on the wing, United could barely muster a reply as Henry casually slipped through their defence to strike three trademark finishes past Edwin van der Sar. Alex Ferguson may have spoken afterwards about his team's character and reminded us of their recovery from 12 points down against Keegan's Newcastle all those years ago, but it all smacked of desperation. They were simply unable to provide the moments of genius which once characterised their play, and which Aliaksandr Hleb and Thierry Henry were revelling in all match long, to the continued woe of Martin Demichelis, so poor he was replaced barely after half time by John O'Shea.

ARSENAL (4-4-1-1): T Hildebrand, K Toure, S Campbell, P Senderos (G Clichy), J Simunic; F Ljungberg, F Fabregas (R Pires), Gilberto, J Reyes (J Gray); A Hleb; T Henry.

MAN UTD (4-3-3): E van der Sar, G Neville, R Ferdinand, M Demichelis (J O'Shea), M Silvestre (Q Fortune); D Fletcher, P Scholes, R Giggs; A Smith (O Solskjaer), R van Nistelrooy, W Rooney.

---

LAMPARD PICKS APART TOON STARS

Chelsea 3-1 Newcastle

Frank Lampard once again provided the impotus to defeat a spirited Newcastle side who attacked the Champions at every opportunity. Lesser sides will of course attest to the dangers that leaves the defence in against a team such as Shanyi's Blues, and Damien Duff took little time reminding the Toon defenders just how tough the day was going to be. Robben's cross field ball was brilliantly controlled by the Irishman as he stepped inside and slid the ball home with nonchalant grace. Newcastle continued fighting and, after 25 minutes, earnt their reward, a strangely unmarked Kieron Dyer given a simple tap in from a corner. A rare defensive lapse from a team who conceded just four Premiership goals last season, and one which Dyer was happy to use to try and prop up his uncertain Newcastle future. Chelsea, though, have too much confidence to let themselves dwell over such small errors. Shanyi pulled Duff and Robben back to reinforce the midfield and soon the Toon army were in trouble, a deep cross from Paulo Ferreira towards the monumental Drogba panicking Boumsong, who shoved the Ivorian to the ground. Lampard was composed as ever in converting the penalty. Late in the first half, Drogba snatched a goal of his own, Lampard's floated ball into the area easy pickings for a player of such fearsome aerial prowess. The second half was a largely tepid affair, as Chelsea slowed the game down and passed the ball around midfield, safe in the knowledge that the game was already won.

CHELSEA (4-3-2-1): P Cech, P Ferreira, J Terry, W Gallas (L King), A Del Horno; F Lampard, C Makelele, M Essien (J Cole); A Robben, D Duff; D Drogba (H Crespo).

NEWCASTLE (3-4-1-2): S Given, T Bramble (C Babayaro), S Taylor, J Boumsong; K Dyer, S Parker, A Faye, L Bowyer; A Luque; M Owen (S Ameobi), L Guy (N Solano).

---
OTHER RESULTS

18th Aston Villa 1-1 Liverpool 10th
6th Everton 4-1 Fulham 12th
7th Leeds 2-1 Charlton 14th
17th Man City 0-0 Birmingham 3rd
15th West Ham 0-0 Southampton 9th

retired_fuel

Uncut ? where is teh swearing and the jokes when the boys are in the showers after the games ? hehe

retired_body_break

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

CHELSEA PROVIDE MASTERCLASS IN DISCIPLINED DESTRUCTION

Chelsea 4-0 Parma

Chelsea showed all their class as they destroyed Parma in a magnificent 90 minutes. Parma, astonishingly for a Champions League match, failed to take a single shot during the entire match such was Chelsea's pressure. In the absence of Frank Lampard, Shanyi narrowed his midfield and used the outside two of his front three to provide the usual width. Didier Drogba broke the deadlock after twenty minutes, volleying home a tidy pass from Hernan Crespo, who had cut in past the poorly positioned Bonera. Joe Cole lumped home the second in a similar fashion to his first goal, taking the rebound from Crespo's low strike which was parried by Parma goalkeeper van Duijnhoven. Ledley King almost opened his account with a header from a Duff corner, but Siviglia cleared off the line. In the second half, Shanyi was comfortable enough to introduce Joe Keenan, Carlton Cole and young Argentine forward Leo Messi. Carlton Cole was the creator of the third goal after a glorious passing move between him, Essien and Duff, laying in Crespo to lob the keeper. Parma pulled back for damage limitation, but couldn't stop Michael Essien heading home a late fourth from Drogba's deft header.

CHELSEA (4-3-3): P Cech, P Ferreira, J Terry, W Gallas, A Del Horno; J Cole, L King (J Keenan), M Essien; H Crespo, D Drogba (L Messi), D Duff (C Cole).

PARMA (4-1-2-1-2): R van Duijnhoven, Bonera, Siviglia, Cannavaro, Ferronetti; Bresciano; Rosina (Simplicio), Giannichedda; Grella; Corradi (Dedic), Ruopolo (Bernardini).

retired_body_break

ENGLISH PREMIERSHIP

LIVERPOOL LACK CUTTING EDGE

Liverpool 1-2 Chelsea

Chelsea dominated the match at Anfield, but Liverpool will know they had more than enough chances to win the game. Steven Gerrard threatened early on from free kicks conceded by a jittery Paulo Ferreira, and Djibril Cisse was denied by a fine low save from Petr Cech after a strike from just outside the area. Chelsea held back, waiting for the moment to strike, and they strode forward for the first time in the eighteenth minute, Terry clearing from Sinama Pongolle, Duff picking up the ball and playing a beauty downfield to Drogba, who struck wide after engineering a good chance for himself after getting clear of his marker. Gonzales was active on the left, sweeping inside and forcing Cech to punch away several excellent crosses and providing an excellent ball to Alonso, whose header was deflected around the post by the in-form goalkeeper. Chelsea had Frank Lampard back on the field, and although he didn't look fully fit, he started several good moves with Robben from which Drogba again should have scored. The goals all arrived in the last ten minutes, Wright Phillips' overhead kick deflected in off Traore and past the, for once, stranded Franco. Four minutes later, Duff's through ball found Crespo who produced a carbon copy of his goal in the European Cup Final, a lobbed finished over the Argentine goalkeeper. Steven Gerrard hit a scorching curler from 25 yards to make for a tense finish, in which both Morientes and Mohammed Sissoko should have scored, but the Blues held out. After the game, there was much swearing and joking (always give the people what they want!)

LIVERPOOL (4-2-3-1): L Franco, D Raven, S Hyypia, M Jones, D Traore; X Alonso, S Gerrard; F Sinama Pongolle (M Sissoko), B Cheyrou (F Morientes), M Gonzales; D Cisse (D Hamann).

CHELSEA (4-2-3-1): P Cech, P Ferreira, J Terry, W Gallas (L King), A Del Horno; C Makelele, J Cole; A Robben (S Wright-Phillips), D Drogba, D Duff (H Crespo).