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CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GROUP H

RANGERS DEVASTATED BY FIRST HALF BLITZ

Rangers 0-4 Chelsea

Anyone saying that Rangers and Celtic were strong enough to compete in England were swiftly silenced by Chelsea as Lampard and Didi Drogba struck two apiece to end the Scottish side's Champions League dream. Chelsea played a much slower passing game than usual, drifting the ball around in midfield where Tiago, Makelele and Lampard were given disturbing amounts of room. It only took three minutes though for Lampard to get into the area, dummy a shot put put a ball past Klos to Drogba for an easy opener. Five minutes later, Drogba took advantage of Barry Ferguson's awful pass to add a second. At the twenty minute mark, Lampard was fouled in the area by Marvin Andrews, who was unfairly dismissed, and the Chelsea midfielder was as precise as ever from the spot. Just before half-time, Wright-Phillips crossed, Drogba headed down for Lampard to volley in unmarked past a vulnerable Klos.

Shanyi rested his two stars for the second half, bringing on Carlton Cole and Eidur Gudjohnsen, Hernan Jorge Crespo joining them soon afterward, to give them a chance to claim their spot. Cole and Crespo were lively, the Englishman forcing Klos into a neat fingertip save over the crossbar and causing problems with his height, the Argentine drifting out wide and showing passing abilities for which he is frequently uncredited. Gudjohnsen, Chelsea's least prolific goalscorer this season thanks to being pushed back into midfield, was given the striking bearth he covets but his impact was only felt by his astonishing inability to find the net, being humiliated by Klos when put through by a succession of stunning balls by Tiago, Terry, Cole and Crespo. The one time he beat Klos, he fired wide with the goal at his mercy. When the final whistle blew, Rangers can console themselves that they weren't the only ones with red faces.

RANGERS (4-3-3): Klos, Ross (Tonge), Andrews (s/o), Khizanishvili, Ball; Ricksen, Ferguson, Rae; Novo (Arveladze), Thompson (Lovenkrands), Prso.

CHELSEA (4-2-3-1): Cudicini, Johnson, Terry, Carvalho, Bridge; Lampard (C Cole), Makelele, Tiago; Wright-Phillips (Crespo), Robben; Drogba (Gudjohnsen).

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Just to 'finish off', I thought I'd say once and for all that I'm not going to be continuing this story anymore, since no-one was reading it and I've since started a new game with all the latest transfers intact. If anyone wants to hear about my new game, which would pick up roughly at the point this one left off, I'll check on this thread in a few days and see if it's been 'kept alive'. If not, thanks to everyone's nice comments, hope you enjoyed what little there was of it!

enjikari

People clearly have been reading mate, because there are nearly 500-odd views on this story :thup:

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Well, I thought I'd give it one more shot. I've just finished my 'first' season in charge and thanks to a great deal of luck in the Champions League (more on that later), managed to do the quadruple. Apart from the fact that I enjoyed writing this stuff last time, I have a feeling the England job might be up for grabs quite soon and if I get it, there should be a little more drama than the win-fest of last season (4- yes, that's 4- goals against in the Premiership), which was undeniably my best ever, despite being my third unbeaten (I normally lose one or two to big clubs, sometimes a third to Charlton or Everton). I'm going to try and move the focus away from the matches and more onto interviews, transfers, player dramas etc. Hopefully then, it'll be more fun for everyone else. Round-up report on last season coming soon- enjoy!

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BLUE TODAY: A CHELSEA MAGAZINE RETROSPECTIVE ON OUR GREATEST EVER SEASON!

In the words of Aristotle, Socrates, Darwin and Newton, whoda thunkit? After Jose Mourinho was thrown into the mental asylum when his ego actually consumed all of London, fans had been left speculating over the big names who would follow him. When Shanyi, an unknown one time Gillingham ball boy was signed up on a year's contract, cries could be heard around the City (and, for once, not one mention of a 'special one'). Rumours persisted that Abramovich had finally gone mad, fuelled by his attempt to build a solid gold boat, and that Shanyi had pictures of Abramovich in his 'Shirley' days were mixed up in the fury and anger of Blues' supporters.

However, the appointment proved to be an ingenious one. After a respectable but rather erratic start to the season, with three draws against substandard opposition and only small wins, fans were sensing something wicked coming their way.

But instead, the clouds cleared, the sun shone and Abramovich's boat was recovered from the bottom of the South Pacific (although a freshwater salmon named Desmond, who had got lost on his way to visit his mother, had stolen the mast and was using it to gain a place on the property ladder), Chelsea settled into an awesome run of form, smashing all those who stood in their way towards collecting an historic quadruple of the Champions League, Premiership, League Cup and FA Cup.

THE STATS

CHELSEA 2004/2005
P:64 W:59 D:5 L:0
GF:159 (2.5 per game), GA:11 (0.2 per game)
LEAGUE WINS: 1
CUP WINS: 3

TRANSFERS
TOTAL VALUE OF PLAYERS SIGNED: £4.5M
TOTAL VALUE OF PLAYERS SOLD: £9M

In: Theo Walcott (£250k, Southampton), Simon Walton (£275k), Mikel John Obi (£1.3M, Lyn Oslo), Kerlon (£650k, Cruzeiro), Anthony Vanden Borre (£750k, Anderlecht), Daniel Sturridge (£525k, Man City), Carl Spencer (£20k, Morton), Freddy Guarin (£750k, Envigado), Enzo Gio Scorza (Free).

Out: Filipe Morais, Danny Hollands, Adrian Pettigrew, Jack Watkins, Jamie Watkins, Dean Smith, Phil Younghusband, Joe Tillen (released), Juan Sebastian Veron (£5.5M, Inter), Anthony Vanden Borre (£1.5M, Milan), Alexey Smertin (Benfica, £2M).

TOP PLAYERS (based on OPTA index statistics)

Highest average rating: Damien Duff 8.50
Most goals: Frank Lampard 33
Most assists: Frank Lampard 26
Mot MotM awards: Damien Duff 15
Most appearances: John Terry 59(0)

Team of the season (based on av. rating, goals, assists, appearances)

P Cech (7.41), G Johnson (8.02), J Terry (7.61), W Gallas (7.45), A Del Horno (7.70), C Makelele (7.45), S Wright Phillips (7.96), F Lampard (7.98), J Cole (7.58), D Duff (8.50), D Drogba (7.53). SUBS: C Cudicini (7.37), R Carvalho (7.31), A Robben (7.75), M Essien (7.41), H Crespo (7.32).

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TOP/BOTTOM OF LEAGUE TABLE

1.Chelsea (P38, W35, L0, F101, A4, Pts 108)
2.Arsenal (P38, W24, D11, L3, F66, A22, Pts 83)
3.Man Utd (P38, W23, D10, L5, F67, A30, Pts 79)
4.Liverpool (P38, W20, D7, L11, F57, A37, Pts 67)
5.Tottenham (P38, W16, D10, L12, F57, A37, Pts58)

16.Charlton (P38, W9, D11, L18, F42, A62, Pts 38)
17.Aston Villa (P38, W8, D12, L18, F42, A59, Pts36)
18.West Brom (P38, W7, D8, L23, F33, A66, Pts 29)
19.Sunderland (P38, W7, D7, L24, F30, A76, Pts 28)
20. Wigan (P38, W4, D7, L27, F28, A81, Pts 19)

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CHELSEA'S KEY RESULTS

Tottenham 0-0 Chelsea (first result)
Chelsea 0-0 Newcastle (Arsenal go top)
Chelsea 2-0 Liverpool (Enter top 3 first time)
Portsmouth 1-2 Chelsea (first goal conceded)
Chelsea 7-0 Middlesbrough (biggest win)
Chelsea 0-2 Man Utd (Go 2nd, behind Arsenal)
Chelsea 4-0 Tottenham (Go top, Arsenal draw 1-1)
Chelsea 4-0 Arsenal (Get significant lead at top)
Sunderland 0-2 Chelsea (Win the Premiership)

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OTHERS
Chelsea 1-0 Man Utd (Win League Cup)
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Juventus 0-1 Chelsea (Avoid going out to away goals rule with 89th minute John Terry goal)
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FC Bayern 0-2 Chelsea (Win Champions League)
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Arsenal 0-4 Chelsea (Win FA Cup)

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In the second part of our exclusive, we will have an interview with Shanyi about his hopes for the new season and his thoughts on the last. But for now, ENGLAND HAVE WON THE ASHES!!!

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VULTURES CIRCLE AS SHANYI PREPARES TO REFINE SQUAD

Despite the undeniable excellence of his previous season, Chelsea manager Shanyi is preparing to offload several of his superstars in order to refine his extensive squad.

Glen Johnson, who was one of the players reportedly complaining about lack of first team opportunities last season, seems to have been saved by his late, excellent form, though several of his companions are not looking so lucky in their bids to keep their place in Shanyi's squad.

Geremi, the Cameroonian who featured only sporadically at the end of the season in the 'filler' matches, may be off to Werder Bremen, who outbid several other clubs for his services with £4.5M. Jiri Jarosik, the tall Czech midfielder, had his transfer to Birmingham cancelled due to a lack of funds, so Blackburn appears a more likely destination for a possible £3.5M.

More surprising departures may include Carlo Cudicini, for whom Lazio put in a £3.2M offer, Eidur Gudjohnsen, who was overtaken by Carlton Cole in the strikers' pecking order last season, may be going to Sevilla in a £7M deal, and Ricardo Carvalho is all set for Spain and Deportivo, in a £12.5M move.

Shanyi has not yet announced his transfer targets for the upcoming season, though it is thought that several of the above players will be replaced with youth team graduates rather than big buys. However, no doubt to the continued dismay of Robert Huth, he is reportedly looking at defenders to cover the sale of Carvalho.

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BREAKING NEWS

HENRY FEELS ARSENAL ARE OUT OF THEIR DEPTH

Thierry Henry has broken his silence and expressed his concern, mirrored by fans of the club, that his side lack both the depth and quality in key areas of nearest rivals Chelsea. Arsenal, who finished second last season, sold stars such as Lauren and Ashley Cole, and lost Dennis Bergkamp to retirement, but have found little joy in their return investments.

Kevin Kuranyi, the big winter signing, scored just three times (all in Cup competitions) after his £9m move, while Sebastian Deisler failed to make an impact. Pepe Simunic, signed over the summer, has been maligned by fans as a poor replacement for Ashley Cole.

"I feel zat we have loost ahr va-va-voom" Henry said, in a Clouseau accent, "Vhen we loost Ashley, Lauren and Den-eees, zat was vhen we loose ground on ze Chelsea, n'est ce pas? I theenk ve wheel need to deepen ze squad if we are to acheeve our fool potential."

The loss of Arsene Wenger, who left to join the France national team, was also keenly felt. Arsenal have lost several of the key players from the unbeaten Premiership champions of two years ago, with Lehmann, Lauren, Cole, Vieira and Bergkamp all moving on to pastures new.

TRANSFER LATEST

CHELSEA LOOK TO KING & KOMPANY AFTER SUMMER CLEAROUT

After Deportivo pulled off an astonishing £12.5M switch for Chelsea defender Ricardo Carvalho (marking a £7M loss for the Blues on the £19.5M paid out to FC Porto), Sevilla snagged Eidur Gudjohnsen for £7M, Geremi went to Ajax for £4M Carlo Cudicini completed a move to Lazio for £3.2M and Nuno Morais headed to Benfica for £500k, the World of football waited to hear which player would be Chelsea's first big signing.

The news emerged that Chelsea have made bids for Tottenham defender Ledley King, believed to be in the region of £11M, and Vincent Kompany, a £5M with Jiri Jarosik heading the other way. Though more transfers are likely to come through, those two deals represent a formidable jump over the £4.5M Shanyi spent predominantly on youth players last season. It is also thought that although Shanyi is looking for a striker, Carlton Cole will start the season as third choice behind Didi Drogba and Hernan Crespo, who fired Chelsea to the title last season. Lenny Pidgeley and Joe Keenan are also believed to have been added to the first team squad, with Freddy Guarin, Kerlon and Steven Watt waiting in the wings. Robert Huth, who has publicly claimed he is looking for first team football, is rumoured to be the subject of a £4M bid by Valencia, though Shanyi values the German international at £6M and may want a cut of any future transfer fees.

Other big transfers going through include a £7.25M move for D'Alessandro from Wolfsburg to Bayern Munchen, who are looking to boost their strikeforce, Peter Luccin also heading to Munich for £4.2M from Atletico Madrid. D'Alessandro said he was delighted to move to a club where he could achieve his ambitions, and hoped to win the Champions League. WBA made an excellent sale of £3.5M for Diomansay Kamara to Lens, Hertha BSC finally agreed a £3.7M fee with Arsenal for Pepe Simunic, Brazilian Cicinho completed his belated move to CF Real Madrid in a £3M move and Sergay Semek signed for PSG from CSKA Moscow for £2M.

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KING KLINCHES KING'S ROAD KONTRACT BUT KOMPANY IS KEPT AWAY

The Editor would like to apologize for the headline. An intern broke into the printing room and caused havoc with his poor grammar and shoddy attempts at witticisms.

Chelsea today completed the signing of Tottenham captain Ledley King for £15M. King expressed his delight to be 'stepping up a level' in moving to the English and European champions. Shanyi said that King was a fantastic player who could cover as both a midfielder and a defender and would represent a formidable challenge to the Gallas-Terry partnership.

One defender who won't be joining, at least not yet, is Vincent Kompany, after Chelsea's first bid of £3.5M and Jiri Jarosik was turned down. Shanyi is keen to snap up the Belgian defender, clearly not put off by the less than professional attitude shown by Anthony Vanden Borre after his £750k move (which lasted five months), as Manchester United and AC Milan are also nipping at the 19 year old's heels. A new bid is said to have been made, though whether Jiri Jarosik, still looking for a club after Nantes had a £1.1M bid turned down, is unclear.

Shanyi will be giving an interview to Chelsea Magazine as part of their special 'Blue Today' article in the near future.

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Why on Earth did I write King's Road? I went there today, but still. Damn that intern... King Klinched... erm... KChelsea Kontract, then.

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CHELSEA AND MESSI, PARTING KOMPANY

Chelsea gave up on two of their summer transfer targets last night after their third bid for Anderlecht defender Vincent Kompany was rejected. The club were also set to sign Argentine striker Leo Messi from Barcelona on a year's loan at a cost of £500k, but the striker wasn't keen on leaving Spain despite an agreement being struck between the two clubs. Jiri Jarosik's future at the club has also received a boost with the news that he has received a squad number for the season, though Chelsea are still looking for buyers after Birmingham and Blackburn both failed to sign the tall midfielder.

CHELSEA SQUAD 2005/2006

GK- Petr Cech, Leonard Pidgeley
DR- Paulo Ferreira, Glen Johnson
DL- Asier Del Horno, Wayne Bridge
DC- John Terry, Ledley King, William Gallas
DMC- Claude Makelele, Robert Huth, Joe Keenan, Michael Essien
AMC- Frank Lampard, Joe Cole
MR- Shaun Wright-Phillips
ML- Arjen Robben, Damien Duff
F/SC- Carlton Cole, Hernan Jorge Crespo, Didier Drogba

TOTAL: 21 (2 GK)