shannon2007

Of course not everyone was able to attend the FMS meetup. Terk was over in California filming his latest blockbuster movie, HD was at the Old Bailey defending a very high profile client, and a few others were doing some very important things too. So basically it was just the losers who had turned up. Personally, I couldn't wait to see the back of them as I had a football club to get in order before the new season. In Torquay we had been forced to endure the Ted Locke style of 'management'. I had a treat for the guys as Forfar has a friendly with Luton, and it would also give me a chance to see the players in action - before deciding to dump their sorry arses.

A 1-1 draw was fine, the FMS guys left drunk and happy and I could get down to the real business of running this club. The reality of the situation was that we had one or two half decent players who in my opinion could do a job at this level. And then we had quite a few players who quite honestly would struggle to even get a game in one of Ted Lockes sides. Now that really is saying something.

Needless to say, a fair few players were shown the door and quite a few of them needed help in working out what to do with it.

Although Michael Brown was a reasonably decent keeper, I wasn't convinced he was good enough long term and so decided to sign Motherwell reserve Jamie Ewings who cost me £1000. This was to prove a really good piece of business, as Ross County would eventually buy him for a whopping £100k. But that was in the future, and this was the present.

Veteran Steve Florence would do a good job I felt at right back, but the left back spot was weak and so I signed up former Scotland U-21 cap Kieran McAnespie from St Johnstone, also for £1000. Last of the big spenders eh! Another experienced player at the back was Eddie Forest and with David's Dunn and King and the odd remaining fringe player the defense seemed quite strong - for this level at least.

I wanted to play a diamond style in the middle four with a man sitting in front of the centre backs, and one sitting in behind the strikers. We didn't really seem to have anyone capable of playing these roles so in came the vastly experienced Paul Bernard for the defensive role, and former Falkirk man Ian Morris for the attacking role. Both players would soon make those positions their own, and neither could really be faulted for the efforts given in their times at the club. Barry Sellars is a decent player, and the signins of young Rangers reject Alex Walker for another £1000 along with the capture of another former Falkirk player in Philip Creaney, also for £1000 and we had the basis of a semi decent midfield.

Up front was quite easy. Paul Tosh and Paul Shields had formed a good partnership and I was happy to keep them as the main strike pairing. We did need cover though in case of injuries and what not so in came non-entities Mark McCormick and John McAllister, both from Berwick. That would be the main players for the first six months at least, along with the fringe players whose names I have probably forgotten now. Well they can't have been that good then can they?

I felt we had a decent squad that could do the club proud in the season ahead. A 3-0 gubbing by Burnley didn't exactly justify that optimism, but it was early days and I felt sure we could mount a serious challenge. In order to relieve some of the stress from the reader, and to put your mind at ease I can tell you one thing from the season ahead. We didn't get relegated.

Raptor

Brilliant

shannon2007

I should of course appologize to Mark Haddon for nearly stealing the title of his award winning book. But truth is, I'm doing him a favour anyway as it will bring him much needed publicity in view of the forthcoming film, and I feel he should be paying me a commission. Miserly bastard.

But whatever.

So on with the story, and our attempt to gain promotion to Division One. Or at the very least not to get relegated to Division Three. However, as I have already stated that we did not get relegated, that isn't really an issue. Whilst the League season started in decent, if not outstanding form, the same couldn't be said for the Cups. A shocking 1-0 loss at Montrose in the 2nd round ended our interest in the Challenge Cup, and a 1-0 loss at home to Stirling meant we wouldnt be having a run in the League Cup either. But as the old saying goes, at least now we could concentrate on the League. Thats what all the losers say.

By December we had strung together an unbeaten run of sixteen matches that saw us sit proudly at the top of the table. That run though was ended in Greenock by a good Morton side, but we had to be pleased at how things were going. A 3-0 win over Stenhousemuir in the 2nd round saw us into the glamour stages of the Scottish Cup, and we awaited with the baited breath the possibility of a draw at Ibrox or Celtic Park that ensure our financial security for a few years to come. In the end though the draw was rigged and we had Dunfermline at home. Which was crap.

A near capacity crowd of just over 4500 brought in just over £12,000 in gate reciepts and with a guaranteed £50,000 even if we lost it would go a little bit at least to reducing the alarmingly rising debt. A brave battling performance produced a 0-0 draw and a replay, which earned us a little bit more cash. And really, thats what the Cup is all about. Its not as if we were going to win the damn thing.

And so my prediction proved right, as 92nd minute goal from John Dunn denied us extra time, and we bowed out with our heads held high. We were doing fairly well, but I was still on the look out for any new players I thought would help our cause, although of course I was also very aware of staying within the wage budget. Which happily we did. In January in came one or two players, including Welsh midfielder Mike Flynn from Gillingham for £6000 and Irish keeper Barry Roche from Nottm Forest for £12,000.

Flynn would become an integral part of the side, a player who was really too good for this level of football but we were happy to have him. Roche would be on the sidelines for the rest of the season, would grab his chance but then blow it and be sold to Gretna for £50,000 at a later date. Gretna had way too much money, and should be ashamed of themselves.

With half a season gone, things were going nicely and we were on course to achieve a quite excellent promotion. Strange things though were afoot, as in the SPL neither Rangers nor Celtic were top of the table and both sides had sacked their managers. Everyone thought that they would come back, but of course they wouldn't as Motherwell were to take the title. Indeed the 'Old Firm' would end up with nothing. Which was quite funny.

BarryLFC

I agree, that is quite funny.

shannon2007

Its been a weird game so far this one, you would like it

Well, except that Ayr are pants but thats your fault

shannon2007

Although in general we played well this season, that didn't mean we didn't have our dodgy moments. A 4-2 away loss at 2nd bottom Alloa was not the highlight of our season and the 5-1 gubbing by Stirling was just bloody embarrassing. Yet despite those little stutters, we put together enough wins to wrap up promotion and the Division Two title, and we went to Cappielow on the last day of the season as Champions, playing the side who finished runners up. It was a real Gala occassion, although a 36th minute penalty from Peter Weatherstone ruined it for us. Well actually we didn't give a ****.

The SPL race went to the wire, with Celtic, Rangers and Motherwell all ending on the same number of points. Rather ironically though it was Motherwell who were crowned Champions on goal difference. That the natural balance of power in Scotland had been upset was perhaps evident when Gretna reached the League Cup Final, only to lose out to Dundee.

Later on, Hamilton became another minnow to reach a cup Final, when they lost out to Dunfermline in the Scottish Cup. No matter what people say about this season, the fact is that Forfar won more trophies than both the Old Firm put together and it's not often we can say that.

And so my first season as a football manager came to a rather successful end. Our reward for winning the Second Division was £75,000 which in reality helped keep us afloat. There is still a huge debt, but as long as I get paid thats all that really matters.

shannon2007

Scottish Second Division Table 2004-2005

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | C | Forfar | | 36 | 22 | 9 | 5 | 63 | 29 | +34 | 75 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | P | Morton | | 36 | 21 | 7 | 8 | 69 | 39 | +30 | 70 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Stirling | | 36 | 15 | 12 | 9 | 59 | 39 | +20 | 57 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Arbroath | | 36 | 15 | 12 | 9 | 48 | 36 | +12 | 57 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Stranraer | | 36 | 10 | 15 | 11 | 35 | 49 | -14 | 45 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Dumbarton | | 36 | 11 | 11 | 14 | 43 | 49 | -6 | 44 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Brechin | | 36 | 9 | 15 | 12 | 29 | 36 | -7 | 42 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Alloa | | 36 | 11 | 6 | 19 | 50 | 62 | -12 | 39 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | R | Berwick | | 36 | 9 | 10 | 17 | 36 | 49 | -13 | 37 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | R | Ayr | | 36 | 3 | 11 | 22 | 28 | 72 | -44 | 20 | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

[i]reproduced with courtesy to the SFL and ASDA.

BarryLFC

That part isn't funny at all.

shannon2007

It was hard to believe that a whole year had passed, but it had. I was now firmly entrenched in the reality that I was a football manager and had almost completely forgotten the life I used to live, although occassionaly I did turn up for work at the airport and once put in nearly half a shift before I remembered I didn't work there now. And indeed never had in this reality.

But back to the football, and summer meant transfers. Even with the prize money and summer season ticket sales, we were still in the red so the cash wouldn't be flowing that was for sure, but there would be some new faces. There had to be really, some of these guys were just so damned ugly. They made Bagpuss look human.

At the end of the day, three players left - including the ludicrous sale of Jamie Ewings to Ross County for £100,000. Ewings had done well enough for us, but we couldn't turn down such a stupid bid and banked the cheque before they could wake up and realise what they'd done. A year later they sold Jamie for £8,000. Idiots.

County also bought David King for £20,000 and indeed it was they who bought our only other sale of the summer, David McClune for £2,000. I asked the manager if he didn't just want to take my job. He thought I was joking. Which, of course, I was.

Finding players to come in the way though wasn't easy. In the end only three new faces arrived and none of them would make that much of a presence over the next season. We would sign more players in January though, but thats another seven months away. The biggest signing of the summer for us was 17 year old keeper Adam Bradley who came in from Carlisle at the cost of £18,000. He has little chance of getting first team football yet, but clearly he someone we think has a lot of potential. Whoever the f*ck 'we' are.

The only real change then to the regular line up would be Barry Roche taking over in goal, and it was basically the same bunch of players who had taken us up who would be given the job of keeping us up. Our chances were considered slim, and when you consider that the bookies have listed us at 150-1 in a 10 horse race to gain promotion, and that I didn't even place a bet, you can see that we really don't have a hope in hell of doing much. Unless that Genie comes back. The one I've forgotten about.

shannon2007

The manager of Porto phoned me up.

'Do youa wanta a friendly' he asked me.

'Dae aw waant a friendly whit?'

'Do youa wanta a friendly game ofa footaball? Witha Porto ata Statione Parka?'

'Ur you taking the pish mate? This Forfur, awa an bile yer heid Raptor.'

'Ah no I thinka you misunderstooda me, really is manager of Porto anda we woulda really like-a to play Forfara.'

It took a while to convince me, but it turned out to be real. The mighty Porto would be coming to Station Park for a preseason game. We were gonnay get murdered!

Before the Porto match, we had lined up Inverness, Huddersfield and Hearts so it would be a real test for the lads, and hopefully a treat for the Forfar support. A great match with Inverness ended in a 3-3 draw, which was commendable from our point of view - although we had been 3-1 up at one point. We battled hard against Huddersfield, before succumbing to a penalty seven minutes from time. Least we managed to injure one of their players though.

Against Hearts it was a bit one sided as you'd expect and we went down 3-0 and then all eyes turned to the glamour tie with Porto. There were some huge names on display in a match that incredibly ended goalless. Vitor Baia, Nuno Valente, Hugo leal, Ricardo Quaresma and their mates enthralled the capacity crowd with their skill and a very good and encouraging result for us in our final warm up game.

No doubt we'd now get relegated.