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I knew nothing about Stalybridge Celtic. I'd only really noticed them once, my favourite team Woking beating them in the final of the infamous GLS Conference Cup, so good it was scrapped after a season. I applied for the job on a whim, spotting an advert in the Non League Paper. I felt rather chuffed when I was offered a year long contract, my application obviously impressing the board members more than that of someone who'd actually managed a football club before. My enthusiasm didn't waver when I was told I was the only applicant, if anything it made me more determined.
So then, where the hell is Stalybridge? According to their official website, they play at Bower Fold, a few miles to the east of Manchester. I wondered if we would ever fill the ground to it's 6108 capacity in my time at the club, or indeed even fill the 1200 seats.
I met Peter Dennerley, the club chairman, shortly after my long drive up from Surrey. His long speech could really be summed up in a few words - Keep this shocking team up...oh, and no, you can't have any money. I was introduced to some of the other non-playing personnel after this. Andy King would be responsible for keeping the players in good health. If he didn't achieve this with some, Daniel Johnson would be out looking for replacements. My right hand man was also part of the playing staff, Mark Atkins suited to a midfield role. He also filled me in with the recent history of the club before sending me to some old timer sitting on a park bench for some information on the club's early years.
The club was founded in 1909 by local businessman Herber Rhodes. He took a slightly dictator-like role in the club's running, paying for and designing the stadium, kits and playing whenever he was fit. The club's first success was clinching the Lancashire Combination Second Division title three years after being formed. They then went on to be promoted to the Football League, coming second behind Stoke in the Southern League. There progress was halted when some Serbian decided to assassinate some chap called Franz Ferdinand.
After a few years off due to World War One, Celtic were one of the founder members of the Third Division North in 1922. After a couple of midtable finishes, the club's lack of financial and public support led to them being the first club to voluntarily leave the Football League. The next sixty years were spent in the Cheshire County League before the Bass North West Championship was formed, which they went on to win
twice as they looked to regain their league status. Phil Wilson guided the club into the Vauxhall Conference in 1992. The club remained in the Conference until 1998, when they were relegated in a dire financial state. After a spell away from the club, Phil Wilson returned and guided them to the Unibond League Cup, the Cheshire Senior Cup, the President's Cup before going on to win the Northern Premier.
Their return to the Conference was short, Paul Wilson plus a large number of players moving to Southport as the team went down again. They again won the President's Cup and a win against champions Hucknall ensured they would be playing in the newly formed Conference North. They avoided the drop by one position, finishing 19th. They also reached the Conference Cup final, losing 1-0 to Woking.
It was clear from their position last season that I was up against it. I soon made my way to the training ground to see the bunch of no hopers I'd be managing.
Our goalkeepers were dreadful. Nick Buxton could be relied upon to go slightly crazy while the balls just seemed to hit Paul Pettinger.
Darren Hockenhull would do for now as our right back and Mark Barnard would play on the left, seeing as no one else could. Mark Haran and Paul Sykes looked to be our first choice centre back pairing, which was a scary thought. Grant Black and Paul Shepherd provided cover at the back.
Tom Fields seemed to think he was assured of a first team place in a holding role - not if I could help it. His only competition for that position, if I were to play it, wasn't up to much either, Scott Willis possessing the touch of a baby hippo. Tom Baker could play on either wing as could Steve Smith. Andy Haskins, Kevin Parr and Chris Price were all central midfielders, one of them no doubt would be part of my first XI.
James Turley and Lee Elington were both strikers who could drop back into midfield if necessary. Jody Banim was an out and out striker, as were Phil Eastwood and Lee Mulvaney.
There was little doubt. New faces were a necessity.
I made a few enquries with league clubs concerning their reserves. Most were happy to offer me a stiff or two for free and we discussed terms with quite a few players. I also looked at a free agent, Owen Paynter and decided to offer him a full contract. He agreed to join a couple of days later. A striker who could also play midfield, he had an eye for goal, something we lacked with our other attackers. Elsewhere in the division, Hinckley secured the signing of once Welsh international Gavin Maguire.
Back at Celtic, Jamie Hand arrived on a free from Watford. A defensive midfielder, he had made 55 appearances for the Hornets but had found himself being loaned out to clubs such as Oxford and Livingston in recent times. Much to my astonishment, Stockport then asked to loan him for 3 months - I slammed the phone down. A squad was further bolstered by the arrival of a new goalkeeper. James Winter was never given a chance at Hartlepool and the time was right for him to move on. More clubs wanted Hand on loan, prompting me to announce to the media he was not leaving in any circumstances.
Our first pre-season game was up next as Wycombe came to Bower Fold.
Stalybridge Celtic v Wycombe Wanderers
Pre-season friendly
With all of our new signings in the team, we went into this friendly enthusiastically. Wycombe were two leagues above us and likely to field a strong side, meaning we would be up against it.
Not long after kick off Paynter went close to grabbing his first goal as he headed wide a long free kick from Haran. Wycombe also came close through a Nathan Tyson header. Winter made an excellent save from an unmarked Oakes as the half ended 0-0. Shortly into the second half Mooney took on Haran before firing the ball into the top corner. It was Mooney again when Wycombe went 2-0 up, leaving the result in little doubt. That was it for the scoring as the ref brought a credible performance from us to a close.
Stalybridge 0 Wycome 2
Attendance: 102
MOTM: Tommy Mooney
I made one change for this next friendly, Wilkinson replacing Shephard after his move from Hartlepool.
After just six minutes we went ahead, Baker's cross coming off the unfortunate Ryan Blott for an own goal. It was end to end stuff after that, a counter attack forcing the corner from which Hand put us two up with a firm header. We were well on top as we went in at half time. Quayle pulled a goal back after some heavy pressure from Scarborough. The away side surged forward in search of an equalizer and thought they'd got it through Quayle, but the linesman's flag cut short their celebrations. With the referee checking his watch, Scarborough finally got the equalizer deep into injury time through Coulson. A first half to remember, a second half to forget.
Stalybridge 2 Scarborough 2
Attendance: 101
MOTM: Tom Baker
I was surprised to find after the game that my team had not been happy at my team talk. I was confused by this as I hadn't criticised them, encouraging them instead.
A couple of days after the game, Peter Folkes arrived from Lincoln. A centre back, his pace would help us against some of the nippier strikers in the league. Another new face was Adam Buckley, signing after being out of contract.
Of our new signings, only Buckley played as Folkes recovered from a bruised head picked up at Lincoln. Baker switched to the right wing as Hadland dropped to the bench.
Salisbury took the lead after 13 minutes when Wayne Gill's free kick went over everyone's head and crept into the far corner. It was two not long after as Phillips found time and space in the box. As we came in at half time, I wasn't happy. We didn't really improve in the second half and the players were as disappointed as me.
Salisbury 2 Stalybridge 0
MOTM: Tim Bond (Salisbury)
Another free agent, Mark Lovell joined us in the next few days. He was a pacy striker and would hopefully get a few goals during his time at Celtic. Mark Haran was struck down by food poisoning, meaning he would be out for up to a week.
Stalybridge Celtic v Sheffield Wednesday
Pre-season friendly
With Folkes now fit to play, he made his debut in place of the ill Haran. Lovell came onto the bench. A big crowd was expected for the game.
The league side dominated the opening exchanges but had to wait till the 35th minute for Graham to make it 1-0. In the second half it was a more even affair and we just about deserved Ellington's late equalizer. It looked as if we were set for a draw but with time running out, Coughlan put the away team back in head from a corner. We didn't have enough energy or time to come back again as we lost 2-1.
I was delighted with our next signing. Adam Griffin had played over 30 games for Oldham last season and would be an excellent left back for us.
Stalybridge Celtic v Carlisle United
Pre-season friendly
Griffin came into the side for our final friendly in place of Barnard.
5 minutes in we were dealt a blow when Jamie Hand limped off. I brought Mark Lovell on for his debut in a more attacking role. To add to that, Folkes was injured making a last man tackle and was replaced by Shepherd. We had the better of the first half and deserved our opening goal, Paynter capitalising on a goalkeeping error. In the second half it became 2-0, Baker's cross evading everyone including the keeper. Hawley pulled a goal back for the Cumbrians before then equalizing with a stunning long range drive. It ended 2-2, the second time in pre-season we'd thrown away a two goal lead.
Stalybridge 2 Carlisle 2
Attendance: 98
MOTM: Karl Hawley (Carlisle)
Andy King brought bad news from the physio room. Folkes would be out for at least a month with strained knee ligaments and Hand had twisted his ankle. He said he could give him some painkilling injections but I decided it was best for him to rest. At only 21, the injury could cause him serious problems later on in life if aggravated.
With the new Conference North season approaching, we were dealt a futher blow that Baker would be doubtful for our opening fixture after straining his neck. We also announced the signing of Simon Spender, a right back from Wrexham.
Stalybridge Celtic v Vauxhall Motors
Nationwide Conference North
With injuries to key players, a weakened side was forced to play against Vauxhall. I was keen to get the season off to a good start, especially in front of the home fans.
The first half was fought in the midfield, with limited chances for both sides. The second half was similar, Vauxhall having a goal ruled out for offside and Ellington hitting the post for us. As it was, the game was played out a bore draw, a fair result.
Spender had bruised his thigh in that game and would be out for up to 2 weeks. The media were already asking questions about Buckley but I told them he would come good in the end.
Hucknall Town v Stalybridge Celtic
Conference North
Hockenhull came in for the injured Spender as I still looked for my first win at the club.
A dream start saw Hadland fire home the opener after just 2 minutes. Both sides had chances but the scoreline remained unchanged going into half time. Hucknall turned up the pressure in the second half and the linesman's flag saved us more than once. Alas, it could not save us when with just stoppage time remaining substitute Mark Ward netted in a goalmouth scramble to equalize. 1-1 the final score.
I named an unchanged side for this match, Tom Baker coming onto the bench as he regained full fitness. Hinckley were among the favourites for promotion so a tough game was ahead.
After some early Hinckley pressure, we won a penalty when Wooley handballed in the area. Wilkinson stepped up to slot home his first goal for the club. In the second half Hinckley deservedly equalized through McGregor's long range strike. Soon after Hinckley were reduced to 10 men, Wooley seeing red for his last man foul on Paynter. I told the team to take the game to them, and we were rewarded when Ellington headered home from 3 yards. Hinckley couldn't come back and we recorded our first win of the season.
Stalybridge 2 Hinckley 1
Attendance:358
MOTM: Lee Ellington
Crossing the Stalybridge 
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