If you register for free, you will be able to post threads, vote on polls and lots more. If you have problems with the registration or logging in, please contact the administrator.
Lunchtime Legends Presents: The Return of Cartagena
Lunchtime Legends Presents: The Return of Cartagena
A Señor Flatline Production
Starring and directed by Señor Flatline
Late July 2004 – a hot summer’s day
I was sitting in my high-backed leather chair looking out over the Cartagena bay and towards the old naval port that overlooked the Mediterranean Sea. It was an early morning in July 2004, the sun was shining and it promised to be a lovely day to spend relaxing away from the office, away from the phones and with family and friends. My wife and I had already organised something for that afternoon, and I decided that I would get into work early to finish up a few player contracts for the local club, Cartagena.
The history of club football in this decidedly un-pretty town was rather sparse, really. There had been a club for quite a while, but it never was really successful, so when a local businessman tried to set up his own club, naming it Cartagonova, he at first won the backing of the town. The original club shut down, knowing that there could be no way the town could support two clubs, particularly when both were in the lowest league in Spain – the semi-professional Segunda Liga B.
However, the businessman had more mouth than money, and when his promises to attract high-profile players and coaches vanished into hot air, the attraction of his new club quickly tarnished amongst the traditionalist football supporters in this town. And in the end, the businessman had more pressing things on his mind when it turned out that his businesses weren’t quite in the black. So he pulled the plug on his plaything and Cartagena suddenly lost its only club.
Yet, football is a way of life in Spain, and before long there was moves afoot to put together a new club to represent Cartagena in the Segunda Liga B. Fortunately enough, there were sufficient people in the town willing enough to take on the administration, while I used my legal skills and the skills in my firm to draft the player contracts, comply with the league’s rules and attract and retain sponsors. On behalf of the club, I negotiated with the league the broadcast rights, so the club was sitting quite prettily when it came time to putting together a squad.
But we couldn’t find a manager. Everybody we asked wasn’t prepared to up stumps and move down to Cartagena to take over a new club; albeit it one with an inherited tradition. We knocked on doors until our fingers bled, but at every turn we found the doors bolted shut. In the end, with legal bills mounting, I was told that my services wouldn’t be required on a daily basis – just when the contracts needed negotiating. So I returned to my practice and my family, satisfied to be only a fan.
That is, until the phone rang…
06-28-2005, 12:42 PM
Lunchtime Legends Presents: The Return of Cartagena Post #2
Thank you, Señor Flatline. We have looked everywhere for a manager. We can’t find one. Would you mind stepping in on a temporary basis to take over the team? Thank you for coming. We’re glad you could make it. It’s good to know that you made it today; otherwise, we would have been short a manager for tonight’s friendly against Valencia.
Hang on a minute, I’ve only been here a moment and you’re already telling me that I have to organise this rabble, I mean, squad into some sort of shape to put up a fight against Valencia? This wasn’t what I bargained for! How am I supposed to assess who would be worth putting into the first eleven, and who to put on the bench, and who to leave out entirely? I don’t even know if any of these players can actually kick a ball, or run in a straight line.
Who should I sell? Who should I buy?
This is going to be a complete disaster tonight, I can just feel it. I gave up a cushy law-talking job for this? My wife told me I was crazy to dip my toe into football management, but I had a dream that I was good enough to succeed at this.
My humour isn’t improved when I learn that the club doesn’t have a right back. We also have a plethora of players who aren’t particularly skilful and, like me, are trying to use football as a means of escaping their hitherto normal existence. However, unlike me, they aren’t sitting in the manager’s chair, and one of the perks of this job is that I can cull the dead wood from the squad. It really is only one of the perks, as I’m not being paid very much to do this job. What’s more, there’s plenty of dead wood.
I make a few enquiries about some players then prepare as best I can for the friendly against Valencia.
Friendly – Cartagena v Valencia
As might be expected, we’re completely outclassed by Valencia and are soundly beaten 3-0. I’m not quite sure what the point of this match was, really, as I can’t really work out who might be worth keeping and who should be discarded when we don’t even fashion a chance on goal. Some players worked hard, that’s true, but really, we never had a chance.
Final score: Cartagonova 0:3 Valencia MoM – David Albelda
In late July, I make my first signing when I sign up unproven but promising English scout, David Jarrett. He’ll be immediately set to work, trying to find diamonds in the rough that I can use to push for promotion.
06-28-2005, 12:43 PM
Lunchtime Legends Presents: The Return of Cartagena Post #3
South African midfielder Sipho Nunens rejected a host of offers to join Cartagena as new manager Señor Flatline’s first player signing, while former Dutch international Regi Blinker has also agreed to join the Spanish club.
Friendly – Cartagena v Espanyol
I rush Nunens into the eleven to take on Espanyol for another money-raising exercise as we host a Primera Liga club again. Having worked out some of the weaknesses in my tactics, I issue a new set of instructions to my players and it seems to do the trick, as Espanyol are not burying us as they probably thought they would. They do score a goal – on 34 minutes, Dani breaks free from his marker with Merino caught ball-watching and prods home from Serrano’s low pass, but we do well to hold our own through the 90 minutes, and actually fashion a chance or two. Nunens plays quite well in the middle of the park, and I’m looking forward to seeing Regi Blinker in action.
Ambitious Cartagena has landed midfielder Pablo Marcelo Trobbiani on a free transfer, beating off a host of interested clubs in the 27 year old Spanish midfielder. Señor Dixie Flatline, Cartagena’s new manager, said in a club statement that he was happy to have Trobbiani at the club, and hopes that the Spaniard will add some much needed class and creativity to the centre of midfield.
5th of August 2004
Friendly – Logroñes v Cartagena
Having played against two superior opponents already, I hope that we’ll get a better gauge of where we are at when we play fellow Segunda Liga B club Logroñes away from home. Trobbiani and Regi Blinker come straight into the eleven, and I make another changes that started against Espanyol.
We look like we are the better side throughout the first half, and our good work is rewarded on 36 minutes when Silva’s corner is prodded home too easily by Carlos Isach. Three minutes into the second half, Trobbiani converts a free-kick from 20 yards out and we canter home to a comfortable 2-0 victory.
Things are looking up for this club, I have to say.
Preparing for a friendly tonight, I have half an eye on the television to see Manchester United lose 2-0 to Arsenal in the Charity Shield.
Friendly – Yeclano v Cartagena
An attendance of just 115 people watch us beat up on Yeclano to the tune of a 3-0 victory away from home. Our first goal comes on 20 minutes when Nunens finds acres of space inside the Yeclano penalty box to volley home Óscar Silva’s excellent cross from the left wing. The South African midfielder adds a second goal on 50 minutes when he strikes a free kick wonderfully from 30 yards into the top right corner of the Yeclano goalkeeper’s net. Substitute Uvi rounds off the scoring on 84 minutes when he is afford too much time and space just inside the box and rams the ball home decisively. I’m feeling more confident by the day that I actually have quite a good squad of players to work with.
Yeclano (4-4-2): Miguel Ángel (Marcos 78); Carlos (c) (Rodr*guez Sánchez 56), D*az, Sánchez (Carlos 56), Herrero (Jordi 56); Carlos (Pablo 50 (Dani 56)), Estévez (Jorge 50), Ávila (Marcos 45), Óscar; Francisco (Christian 68), Alonso.
I am asked to submit the squad numbers for the forthcoming season. It is now that I discover that Nunens, not being a citizen of the EU, cannot play for the club while we are in the Segunda Liga B, because the competition’s rules prohibit non-EU citizens from participating. I break the news to Sipho, and he is also very disappointed at the club and at myself for not informing him of this before he signed for the club. I hold up my hands and say that I didn’t know either, but Sipho points out that it’s my job to be aware of these things because I’m the manager. For that, I don’t have an immediate answer. To make matters worse, my signings this season has put the club over its wage budget, and Sipho is one of the more extravagantly paid players at the club. So he’ll be collecting a nice fat pay-cheque each week (comparatively) for doing nothing except train.
Fortunately, the Copa del Rey does allow non-EU citizens, so if he’s not injured, I think Sipho will get a run in our Copa del Rey campaign (however long it lasts).
Even more fortunately for myself (and this might actually save my bacon when I front the club’s chairman), the previous administration signed up the central midfielder Mauricio Levato, who is Argentine, to a £1,000/week contract. He also isn’t a citizen of an EU country, so he’s ineligible to play for the bulk of the season. Funnily enough, we’re currently £450/week over the wage budget. Hmm, there is a possibility beginning to dawn on me.
11th of August 2004
Friendly – Huesca v Cartagena
As we continue to travel Spain, we come up against Huesca, and again I make a few changes to my eleven. Today’s trip is not quite as successful as the previous games, as Huesca holds us to a 1-1 draw in front of 119 people. In the first half, we were dominant, creating chances with ease, but failing to take them when it mattered. However, S*vori opens our account on the hour mark and I’m a little more satisfied, only for Huesca to almost immediately equalize through Jaime on 62 minutes. Huesca probably play the more attractive football thereafter, but they can’t find the back of the net, and we both settle for a well-played 1-1 draw.
I name an unchanged eleven to take on non-league Elgoibar, and we waste a hatful of chances in the first half to bury this game beyond any doubt. I toy with the idea of substituting the profligate S*vori at half-time, but choose not to, and he repays my faith with the first goal of the second half on 49 minutes. We continue to waste more chances, but finally get the reward our endeavour deserves when on 86 minutes, Fran Nogueira knocks in a relatively easy chance. The final score is 2-0, and we put in a workmanlike performance today.
Elgoibar (4-4-2): Fields an eleven of local amateur players
I’m surprised to see that rival Jaén persuaded Alexandr Mostovoi to join their club. Surprised and disappointed as he is a good signing for them. I resolve to sit down with my club and go through the list of players who we have earmarked for potential transfers and determine whether they might be interested in coming to Cartagena. There are a few names we come up with and we immediately start making phone calls.
22nd of August 2004
I miss out on a solution for my right-back issues, with Javier Horcajada, an experienced right back, signing for rival Extremadura.
I also miss out on signing veteran former Russian international forward, Igor Korneev, who goes instead to the Netherlands and Groningen. However, Groningen was prepared to pay him £5,250/week, which is far more than what I can afford presently.
Friendly – Cartagena v Cartagena U-18s
We draw disappointingly 0-0 with the Under-18s. Worse, I lose Piombo for a week as he damages an elbow. Fortunately, the season proper doesn’t start for three weeks. Definitely not the result I was intending to obtain.
I sign Nando Sanz from Alcoyano for an initial £130,000, which is almost all my transfer budget for this season, actually. The 28 year old attacking midfielder is a free kick specialist, so I’ll be looking to him to be banging home goals from set-pieces this season. Beyond that, he looks to be a half-decent player, and I hope he’ll guide us towards promotion at the end of the season.
He joins just in time to be considered for selection in our last friendly before the season begins.
Friendly – Cartagena v BOYS Caivanese
An obscure Italian team journeys across to the south of Spain to play Cartagena. Sanz is straight into the eleven and immediately looks like he is capable of pulling the strings. However, we seem to have lost our cutting edge and go through this entire game without scoring a goal; in fact, of 15 shots we have at goal, only 2 are on-target. That’s not good enough. BOYS don’t even test out our keeper, as we spend almost half the game camped in BOYS’ defensive third of the pitch. But we don’t reward our efforts with a winning goal. There will be a few things to think about between now and the start of the season proper.
Final score: Cartagena 0:0 BOYS Caivenese MoM – Alessandro Egizzo
1st of September 2004
I made another crucial error. The registration papers for Sanz stayed on my desk one day too many and now the player registration window has closed, along with the transfer window.
I have also lost a potential starting midfielder for a week due to injury, and a transfer in of a player who would fill the problematic right back area has been cancelled because we couldn’t complete it due to a lack of funds.
06-28-2005, 12:50 PM
Lunchtime Legends Presents: The Return of Cartagena Post #10
I have two experienced goalkeepers at my disposal, in Iñaki and Yepes. Both look fairly solid between the sticks, though Iñaki has impressed me more than Yepes, so he is likely to be my number one keeper to begin the season with.
Defenders
Rambier and Merino have combined well in the centre of my defence throughout the pre-season campaign. Rambier is the club captain, a nice honour for the 23 year old Frenchman. As you will have noted, I don’t actually have a proper right back at the club. Eduardo Conget has filled the position in the pre-season campaign, and he will do so for the first half of the season (barring injury or suspension) until I can actually draft in a right-back. Conget is good, though, and could be useful in other positions. Alain fills the left back position quite well and has done quite well in the pre-season campaign. He has my vote of confidence at this stage.
Back-up comes in the form of Juanmi, a left-back, and Puig, who is a defensive utility, capable of playing in defence or midfield. Both are solid, but I need Puig in midfield due to my own lapses of judgment.
Midfielders
Most of my pre-season transfers have concentrated upon midfielders. Regi Blinker adds experience and some class as an attacking midfielder. Sipho Nunens would have been good in the centre, but because he isn’t an EU citizen, he isn’t eligible to play. Nando Sanz was my most expensive acquisition, but he can’t play because we mislaid the paperwork. Silva will battle Gottardi to fill the left wing position. Silva has been very impressive in the pre-season, which belies his unimpressive training performances. Gottardi’s preparation was unfortunately curtailed by injury, so he’ll have to work his way into form. On the right, Carlos Isach has comfortably made right wing his own, ahead of Jordi. Both are capable of doing a job there. Uvi is a good back-up to have in case of emergency.
Forwards
My formation dictates the use of only one out-and-out striker. Loreto, S*vori, Fran Nogueira and Nacho Garc*a have all had a go at making this position their own during the pre-season, but none have really stood out from the pack. At this stage, the experience of Loreto probably sees him get the gig.
Lunchtime Legends Presents: The Return of Cartagena 
I break the news to Sipho, and he is also very disappointed at the club and at myself for not informing him of this before he signed for the club. I hold up my hands and say that I didn’t know either, but Sipho points out that it’s my job to be aware of these things because I’m the manager. For that, I don’t have an immediate answer. To make matters worse, my signings this season has put the club over its wage budget, and Sipho is one of the more extravagantly paid players at the club. So he’ll be collecting a nice fat pay-cheque each week (comparatively) for doing nothing except train.
Linear Mode
