retired_amyslack

I was doing a bit of tidying and found this old save so I thought that I would resurrect it briefly.

June saw Germany in action twice in quick succession, the first match coming at home to group leaders Serbia & Montenegro. With Stephan Tingler, Mirko Dickhaut and Christian Stuff all injured Stefan searched high and wide for some suitable replacements. He eventually decided on a recall for Ufuk Cicek and the inclusion of the uncapped Kai Achilles and Wolfgang Bach. In the approach to the game he also lost the services of Dennis Puhl and he decided to include youngster Klaus Beer as a replacement. An unexpectedly good performance ended in a 1-1 draw, much to the manager’s surprise. A midweek trip to Cyprus followed and with Beer getting sent off near the end the game finished in a highly satisfactory 2-1 defeat.

With all hopes of qualification now gone, Stefan put on a brave face as he removed his bandages nad faced the press back at home.

“With a little more good fortune we could easily have won both of these games and kept our hopes of qualification alive, but I was nonetheless encouraged by what I saw. Bach conducted the midfield with great vision, Beer was strong and has a good head, Quack ruffled a few feathers, Kuntz showed signs of a Brazilian, Dick stood up well, Wurm dug deep and Willi held his own. If you want to criticise then Butt was iffy, Rhode was rocky and Achilles looked vulnerable but overall I am very optimistic for the future.”

retired_hern1001

not too briefly i hope, this is one of the funniest stories i've read on here

retired_embartl

\o/

retired_amyslack

Thanks chaps

Going Undercover

As Germany’s spectacularly unsuccessful World Cup qualification programme moved into its final stages, Stefan announced the squad for the forthcoming matches against Wales and Malta.

“I believe that one of the problems that we have had in our qualifying group is that our opponents have been too familiar with the players in the squad and therefore I am taking steps to make my team selection much more of a surprise. The identity of the players will be hidden by scrambling their names to make other words, anagrams if you like. So here is the starting eleven for the game against Wales.”

GK - Encamping Katherine
DR - Hobnail Snatch
DL - Cochineal Franks
DC - Airfield Muncher
DC - Rodney Horn
MR - Readiest Lesbians
ML - Mim Antichrist
MC - Kissable Ethan
MC - Rink Scaler
FC - Alderman Hansen
FC - Barium Jeanne

“I am also taking the unusual step of naming my selection for the trip to Malta at this time.”

GK - Hatless Smoker
DR - Renal Skinhead
DL - Fat Sunbeam
DC - Secondhand Berliner
DC - Distant Harebrain
MR - Urea Pilfer
ML - Rim Coacher
MC - Fran Basinet
MC - Clambake Cahill
FC - Maharani Butts
FC - Oscar Thrum

“And to complete the element of surprise every player in the squad will travel and play in disguise so that their identities are not revealed.”

Returning to Germany after two good wins, Stefan was horrified to find out that it was still mathematically possible for his team to finish second in the group and get into the playoffs. Putting a brave face on matters he faced the press to discuss the previous two games.

“You can see just how successful my latest subterfuge has been with our last two results. The Welsh players clearly had no idea that Rink Scaler was really Lars Ricken – the nose/glasses/moustache combination really had them fooled – and he benefited by scoring a hat trick. Similarly the blackened teeth and long ginger beard work by Barium Jeanne kept Benjamin Auer’s identity a secret, allowing him to score twice. We had similar success in Malta with the Gerhard Schroeder mask worn by Clambake Cahill disguising the fact that he was really Michael Ballack. This was instrumental in his two goals I believe. As was the nun’s habit and Ronaldo teeth sported by Oscar Thrum, or Marcus Roth as we know him, allowing the striker to score twice as well.”

retired_aurie

This story just has to be kept going. It's too bloody funny to fall by the wayside

retired_rover2clover

This has been an absolutely fantastic story, don't give up now!

I want to know the next squad selection!

retired_stephn

Good, interesting story. A lot of stories i'm fed up with after the first few posts. I've read this start to finish! Kudos.

retired_aurie

Sorry to be resurrecting this oldish story again, but Bob just has to keep it going. Too amusing to be stopped so abrubtly.

:thup:

retired_bbcarr

please don't up stories that haven't been posted in for over a month.

shannon2007

Unless it's mine. I need the views.