retired_amyslack

Thank you gentlemen - now time for some schoolboy humour I feel.

The Rude Boys And The World Cup

Shortly after their return from Australia the draw was made for the World Cup qualifiers and Germany found themselves in Group 1 alongside Serbia & Montenegro, Greece, Wales, Cyprus and Malta – a mouth-watering draw that gave ample room for some humiliating defeats. The campaign commenced with two games in early September – away to Serbia and at home against Cyprus – with a trip to Wales the next month. It was with great delight that Stefan announced his squad for the remaining games of the year.

Goalkeepers
Malte Bonertz
Hans-Jorg Butt
Dominik Wohlfarth

Defenders
Christian Bumberger
Rene Bogesits
Florian Dick
Volker Grimminger
Michael Kokocinski
Michael Wanke
Martin Amedick
Randy Gottwald
Markus Lüdicke
Carsten Wohlfarth

Midfielders
Mirko Dickhaut
Peer Kluge
Tim Kokoska
Janusz Marek
Dennis Viszkok
Sascha Iffarth
Guido Spork
Marcel Abshagen
Tobias Büttner

Forwards
Ufuk Cicek
Benjamin Titz
Charly Kuntz
Steffen Wohlfarth


Following a 2-0 defeat in Serbia, Stefan made a brief announcement to the assembled press.

“It was a disappointing performance today, I have to admit. We weren’t soild enough at the back although Butt was very tight. Titz looked exposed up front and Abshagen looked tired late on. However Dick was hard and stood up well but Wanke seemed to be playing his own game.”

A few days later Cyprus visited the BayArena in Leverkusen and after a 2-0 win to Germany the press were a more forgiving mood.

“I left out Dick and Titz and I think that made a noticeable difference. Whilst not the most mobile, Bogesits is certainly dependable and you’ll always know where he will be. Young Ufuk was a natural ‘in the hole’ although Dickhaut put in a flaccid performance. Wohlfarth blew hot and cold and Grimminger may not be pretty in midfield but he proved to be very effective.”

The final game of the year was a visit to Wales and with Michael Wanke missing with a groin strain Fatih Cimsit was drafted in as a replacement. In the days leading up to the game Guido Spork also suffered a knock so Erol Arslan came into the squad. Stefan could barely hide his delight after a 4-0 thrashing but he did make time to address the media once more.

“Perhaps our problem up front is that Titz is just not big enough and although Peer made a stream of accurate passes Kuntz was left wide open. We all know that Randy Gottwald is an excitable player and to be honest Amedick was made to look silly. Kokocinski was up and down all day, Arslan was too far back and Fatih Cimsit just looked out of shape. But I am confident that the situation can be retrieved and that come next year the team will be firing on all cylinders once more.”

retired_hern1001

Mike..

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WLKRAS:
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^^^ What he said...

shame to see Spork missing out though, he was my favourite, I'll be nominating him for 'best character' in the 2005 FMS Awards

retired_amyslack

The first game of 2009 was a friendly at home to Estonia and Stefan introduced a number of new names into his 23-man squad. Sadly he was hit with a number of withdrawals due to injury. This robbed him of the services of players such as Sebastian Popp, Ronny Rhode, Tobias Willi, Tobias Wurm and Florian Pinz thereby robbing him of the opportunity to use a whole host of awful puns in his post-match summary. On the positive side he still had the likes of Jan Sandmann, Justus Six, Patrick Prang, Dennis Puhl, Christian Stuff, Stephan Tingler, Jens Luck, Markus Rusch, Michael Ströll and Christian Quack. The game ended scoreless and, being just a friendly he decided to dispense with his comments to the press and save his witty wordplay for a more important game.

World Cup qualification continued with two games in quick succession – at home to Malta and away to Greece. Stefan was able to bring in all of the previously injured players thereby giving himself some superb punning opportunites. The Maltese achieved a creditable 0-0 draw, thanks mainly to some creative use of out of position players by Stefan. The game in Greece was not going to plan when Germany found themselves 2-1 ahead with 10 minutes to play but some inspired substitutions turned the game around and the Greeks finally ran out 4-2 winners.

“Luck was not on our side in these games and I still can’t understand why Jens played so poorly. Rusch was in too much of a hurry whilst Ströll seemed to lack urgency. At the back Wurm was turned far too easily, Willi was pulled all over the place, Sandmann looked half asleep and Rhode still has a long way to go. On the positive side, Tingler was electric, Stuff covered most of the pitch, Pinz gave the opposition some needle, Justus Six did the work of five men and Popp goes the weasel. With Puhl pushing up, Prang crashing into the defence and Quack ducking and diving we have real hope for the future.”

shannon2007

Its a pity there isnt an award for Funniest Story, cos I'd have that...... erm I mean this would in with a shout :thup:

Mike..

Apologies that I find the need to do one of these after every update but it reflects the quality of the piece...

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BobBev:

Stuff covered most of the pitch...

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retired_embartl

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>

“Luck was not on our side in these games and I still can’t understand why Jens played so poorly. Rusch was in too much of a hurry whilst Ströll seemed to lack urgency. At the back Wurm was turned far too easily, Willi was pulled all over the place, Sandmann looked half asleep and Rhode still has a long way to go. On the positive side, Tingler was electric, Stuff covered most of the pitch, Pinz gave the opposition some needle, Justus Six did the work of five men and Popp goes the weasel. With Puhl pushing up, Prang crashing into the defence and Quack ducking and diving we have real hope for the future.”

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Brilliant - all of it

BarryLFC

Popp goes the weasel.

retired_hern1001

Great stuff

retired_bbcarr

this is absolutely hilarious. great work, bob