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I should have realized that something was wrong when they gave me the itinerary. Holland? Sure. Germany? Definitely. Sweden? Acceptable.
I should have realized they were trying to get rid of me. They. The club of my youth, the club of my dreams, the club that signed me to a hot prospect contract, the club that paid the bills when my leg shattered into what felt like a million pieces, the club that gave me a low level scouting job when my playing career was clearly done due to violent injury.
The club that axed me as soon as budget requirements insisted upon it. I could be upset. I could be angry. I could have several truckloads of manure dumped in the club's main offices.
But here I am. Croatia. Novalja seems like a decent enough club. They are certainly taking a chance on an unproven manager. Why they hired me is anyone's guess. Maybe they remembered me from my all-too-brief playing days. But at least the job will pay the bills for a while.
It's nice to be given a chance.
On the other hand, they told me it was just a regular scouting trip. 4 countries off the beaten path. Searching for unheralded talent from some of Europe's smallest nations. And did I go? Sure, I had faith. San Marino made sense, that was my home, I just had to stay with the parents and walk the old streets that my friends and I used to play on.
And I found some talent too. Didn't think I would, but I did. 5 top prospects in each country I visited.
But what did I find when I returned to my "club". An empty desk. A box full of my odds and ends with "claim it or it goes in the trash" written upon it.
You see. I should have known.
They didn't care about the prospects I found. They cared about getting rid of me. The newspapers were in their pockets all along. I’d ‘cracked up’, they said. Gone AWOL. “Disappeared on some personal scouting trip and was wasting important club funds.”
I don't care, now. Really. Let this history of my prospects, the ones I discovered, be my revenge.
And let me find some more willing truckdrivers.
....
[Background info: Here. You could also look back at this or this. Or search keyword: Madcap, CASAWAK, or Beffrey City.]
Five top prospects from Luxembourg? I'll believe it when I see it...
I played against Jeff Strasser a few times (man-marked him on a couple of occasions, he was an attacking midfielder at the time) when I was growing up in Luxembourg. He played for Union Luxembourg at youth level before moving to Metz, and I played for Spora. Good old days
The following letter was found sealed in the an unopened envelope addressed to ****** footballing club, stamped "return to sender", among the journals of Mattimosi Janz:
........
To: *********
Please find attached the report detailing my scouting activities in the Faroe Islands, April 15 to April 28th, 2001. Also included is my detailed expense report for reimbursement.
...
April 15th:
Arrived on flight from London this morning in quite an ill state. Weather is still a bit cold here on the islands, but expect to meet with local contacts early this week. Odd place to try and find footballers, but you never now.
April 18th:
No luck so far, local coaches have given me a couple of names to follow up on, but frankly, they hardly sound real let alone any names I've ever heard of. This may be a wild goose chase up here.
Do they have geese on these Islands?
Tomorrow I am supposed to see one "Santos L. Halper".
April 20th:
Have arrived on the large island at the town of Vestmanna. The oddly named Halper, is actually quite a strong local player. His dad was reputedly Brazilian club side player who migrated to Faroe in the 80s to work in the oil industry.
Brief Player Profile: Santos L. Halper
Central Defender. 17 years old. Not bad in the air and already a strong marking center-back. Not afraid to stick a boot in or take a foul when asked. Outlasts most of his opponents over 90 minutes. Not much to contribute offensively, but was very consistent over the last two days in several non-competive matches. Still plenty of room to develop.
Comments: Interesting player who already captains his local side. Worth snapping up to at least play in the reserves.
April 21st:
This is a must-sign player!
Player Profile: Jesus Jarman
Striker. Age 16. Excellent eye for goal and surprised me with several impressive pieces of trickery. Scored twice in the game I watched: once with a sweet one-time volley, and another with a half-touch off his heel. Clearly can score at will against current competition. Already a bit of a freekick specialist, and according to club officials knocked in three freekicks in a local cup final.
Comments: He's ready to play low league professional football right now. Was tipped onto him by Halper after interview as "the only local player that I can't mark out of a game".
April 22nd:
Moving through various local towns. Not many players at all, so I don't expect to find many more prospects. Having to travel by coach and ferry is taking a toll on my stomach, and if I never eat another fish I'll be happy.
Have been tipped onto two players to see tomorrow, but I think I they may have been taking the ****. "von Liechtenstein" and "von Richtofen" are the players names.
April 23rd:
Teammates for pub team in Fuglafjorohur (best guess at spelling). These two are surprisingly skilled players, and though I wonder about their names (alias?), they might be worth giving trials.
Player Profile: Ulrich von Liectenstein
Central midfielder. Age 17. Showed signs of being a good overall player on the offensive side of the game. Decent speed and physical abilities, but not much of a finishing tough right now.
Comments: Good possibilities here as he seem to has his head screwed on straight.
Player Profile: Barren von Richtofen
Striker. Age 16. Good movement, trickery and basic goalscoring. High workrate bugs defenders to no end.
Comments: As good as previously mentioned Jarman. Priority signing, as he has already been linked (according to local fans) with ADO of Holland. He's also rumoured to have had several tryouts with Danish club Kalundborg.
April 25th:
Well, suprising success so far this trip. Hardly expect any more in my last few days. May try and get in a game myself tomorrow.
April 26th:
I was impressed today by the potential of another Faroe Islander.
Player Profile: John Walker
Defensive midfielder. Age 16. Didn't show the best skills in the game, but clearly loves the game and loves to win.
Comments: Hard to describe this player, but after taking several sneaky tackles and snide remarks, I think there is something about this player that could be cultured into a strong asset for any club. Clearly not as developed as the others scouting here in Faroe, but worth a chance.
April 28th:
On reflection of leaving the islands for Luxembourg later today, I think that these 5 players are worth the risk. If they don't show up in Faroe's international side within the next few years, I'll eat my hat.
Please find attached my scouting report of my trip to Luxembourg. May 1st to May 8th, 2001.
May 1st:
Some surprising finds in the islands, but now pack on the continent and don't expect to have the same luck. Not entirely sure that those 5 in Faroe weren't figments of my imagination.
Variety of local youth tournaments underway this week, so maybe I'l find one or two player to recommend.
May 2nd:
Player Profile: Gilles Lefty
Central midfielder. Age 16. Natural ability to find space and drift away from defenders. Playmaker for his pub side, and makes older players look good. Very good technique, which should help in the long run.
Comments: Good potential here. Enough natural talent to really become an impact player.
May 3rd:
Watched an enjoyable game today between two youth sides, where the main interest was a back-and-forth battle between one side's forward and his defender on the opposite side.
Player Profile: Brian Greene
Central Defender. Age 18. Already strong as an ox, and has great positioning sense. Excellent pace and jumping gives him an advantage over most players he is playing against.
Comments: Local coach says he thinks Greene has the mindset of a football professional and has good teamwork for a defender. Probably the best defensive prospect I've seen on this trip so far.
Player Profile: Allan Juel Hansen
Sriker Age 15. A very skilled player for his age, with some of the best dribbling skills I've seen from a youth. good eye for goal, and wicked fast, really threatened Greene in their one-on-one match-ups.
Comments: Age may keep clubs from signing him immediately, but he scored the clinching goal to give his side a place in the final game of this local cup, and could be useful to bring in and let develop.
May 6th:
Today I was driving around the country with my guide and stopped to watch a local game. Much to my disappointment, I realized that the pitch was atually in Belgium, so out of my scouting area.
Oddly, however, a local youth from Luxembourg was watching the game as well, and we talked a bit about the game. It was clear he had a keen eye for the way the game was developing and predicted several key moments of the action before they occurred. I invited him to a tryout for tomorrow to see what he could do on a pitch, if he does well I'll list him here.
May 7th:
Player Profile: Rikjard Den Rooster
Midfielder, probably defensive. Age 17. Good understanding of the game, but lacking in game skills.
Comments: A risk player, but with room to grow. Reads the game better than most TV analysts, and his teammates say he uses every possible trick to his advantage. I think he's a worthwhile investment.
May 9th:
I was impressed this morning in a early morning kick-around that I saw between two local youth clubs. Despite his shorts continually falling down, a right winger impressed me.
Player Profile: Lucky Pants
Right-sided midfielder/winger. quick, with good skills with the ball at his feet. Doesn't have the best touch with the killer through-ball though.
Comments: A nice asset on Pants is his excellent corner, a nice touch from a winger. Enough natural ability, but room to develop the passing needed from a goal-maker.
Tomorrow I have the train ride home. It will be good to see my family again.
Please find attached my scouting report of my trip to San Marino. May 10th, 2001.
Nice to be home. It's an odd place to come on a job though, most of the talent is already out of town and into Italian club systems long ago.
My cousin, Maximo, knows some players from his local team, but I can't imagine that they'll be very good.
...
Am I cut out for this job? I keep finding potential stars in the strangest places.
My cousin has improved immensely since last I saw him play, and he and his pal Madcap (Eric Fleming) clearly enjoy bossing the middle of the pitch together.
Player Profile: Herman Toothrot
Right winger. Age 17. Impossibly good winger. Very fast, can dribble and whips in a good cross. Frankly, too good to be true.
Comments: If this player isn't setting up a dozen goals a year by this time 3 years from now, I have no business being in the game.
Player Profile: Giuseppe Raschi
Central defender. age 17. A clearly determined young man unafraid to tackle. already good in the air, good positional sense, and already a fine tackler.
Comments: Expect him to be gone by the time you get this report. I spotted Giuseppe talking to a well-dressed man after seeing him play, and clearly saw a Manchester United pin on the well-dressed man's lapel. I think we'd have a hard time competing with that.
Player Profile: Maximo Janz
Central midfielder. Age 16. an interesting player who likes to make runs from a deep-playing position. Too bad he can't hit the net from 2 yards out.
Comments: My cousin has a lot of good skill, but he's still a whiny brat in many ways. He picked up a bit of an injury last week, so it might be better to hold of and see how he recovers.
Player Profile: Madcap
central midfielder. Age 16. Is basically a goalscoring midfielder not a playmaker. Scores goals frequently, but rarely sets them up.
Comments: I like this player a lot. Interesting talent, and could be an ideal player to fill the gaps of the attack on forward runs.
Player Profile: Georgio George
Striker. Can run, jump, and dribble. if that's all a striker needs, he's got it.
Comments: I liked his attitude, but he's a bit clumsy. Worth a tryout since he's a just around the corner from the club.
The following post-it note was attached to an unopened letter found in Mattimosi Janz' files.
"M,
Be careful. Your phone call to ****** didn't help matters. He was mighty ticked that you called him about your cousin. I think you might be on thin ice. <smeared writing> cuts have been <smeared smeared>.
Have you stopped drinking? The paper said you had to be carried home from the pub the other night. Try and stay sober in Malta, I can't watch out for you anymore."
The following are handwritten notes detailing Mattimosi Janz scouting trip to Malta. These were clearly never tranferred to a more formal report:
Pablo Hero-Garcia - check spelling. Central defender. Age 18. Good positional sense, good in the air. Nice looking sister. Recommended local pub. Slower than I am after breaking my leg. Good work rate. I owe him for 2 (or 3) rounds. Gave IOU. Avoid personal meeting for same.
Goalkeeper, Eltanad Tanis. decent net-minder. shows good decision making. <unreadable>
Bap Zamper, Striker. Speedy forward who likes to dribble. Can't hold his liquor, but is only 15. Mother likely to kill me on sight for taking her kid to the pub with the other Maltese prospects. Comes through in the clutch, kicked bouncer well when he tried to kick us out of the bar. Luckily, agile enough not to land on his head when said bouncer tossed us into the street.
Yo Buffro, defensive midfielder. Don't bother reporting. tipped off Juve scout for <unreadable> Euros. Remind Juve scout to put in a good word for me at his club. Buffro is an ambitous punk.
Shambles. Talked striker out of moving to Australia. Now likely to punch me on sight. Give good scouting report to club just in case. Ex: scores well, good pace, jumping and other physical atttributes. suprisingly professional.
other: pawned watch on <unreadable> street. Send Tanis back when back in funds. Remember to pay back Tanis for hospital bill. Write apology for his broken nose.
"Not your usual scouting locales." 
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