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Authors note: I am running English leagues up to League 2, with no other added detail, as my computers space is limited
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I walked into Booth's to pick up a few essentials for the family, and it was then that I saw it. I picked up a copy of the 'Newcastle Times' and flipped to the back pages.
SOUNESS IN NEWCASTLE QUIT SHOCK
The headline caught my eye immediately. Being a lifelong Newcastle fan was one of the reasons, as I would try to catch up on the news about my beloved Magpies every day. I will admit, although I wasn't the biggest fan of Souness, I had been prepared to give him some time to bring some success that this club richly deserved, but he obviously couldn't take the pressure of 50,000 Geordies every week, screaming their heads off, myself included in that. It turned out that the man who had opposition players quaking in their boot when he was on the field couldn't handle the pressure of managing a top club like Newcastle. We hadn't won a major trophy in a long time, too long for a club of this size, and it was time that changed. Freddy Shepherd has to get someone in who will bring success, and buy sensibly, and play stylish football. Someone in Keegan's mould who will bring the manner of football he played with us.
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I was meeting the lads tonight down the pub, and they are all massive Newcastle fans too, well, apart from Thommo. He's a Mackem, and always has been, but we still think that he is a good lad. We should have an interesting conversation about the boys, and who the new manager should be.
"Alright Nick man, where you been like"
"Sorry boys, bus got caught up down my end. So, how's it going..."
There were all sorts of names banded about by the lads, and even Thommo got into the conversation after a few drinks
"I reckon we should get Eriksson like" said Volcs (we call him volcano because of his temper, he's more likely to erupt than Vesuvius...plus the fact he's 6'6 and built like a barn...)
"Eriksson? P**s off, what do we want that Swedish t**t for. He's done a s**t job for England and will do for us, so I don't want that c**t" ( As you can see, I'm not the greatest fan of Eriksson, in fact I despise the bloke)
"What about Allardyce? He.... (Dale didn't even get chance to finish his sentence, I heard Allardyce and had heard enough.
"That moaning b*****d? He plays more boring football than Moyes, and I ain't going to St. James to watch Newcastle play long balls to Shearer. F**k Allardyce off"
Thommo chipped in "Get Peter Reid. He would do a good job for you, he did for us" He had a smirk on his face when he said it
"F**k off you Mackem b*****d" was the polite response he got to that one
I woke up at 12 the next day, and decided I would have a lazy day. I had the week off work so had done absolutely nothing other than go to the gym and the Cricket (That's the pub by the way, the Cricketers Arms) I'm a single bloke, although I have had a few relationships in my time. The thing is, I just get bored. I know it sounds bad but it's true, and I prefer to live the playboy lifestyle. I probably would get settled down if I found the right girl but it's just a case of doing that I suppose.
My phone starts ringing, just to cut me off my trail of thought.
"Hello"
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"Yes, speaking"
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"Are you being serious? Is this some sort of wind-up"
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"No, no, not at all. What time would he like to see me"
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"Ok then, I will see you there"
At this point I decided I needed to pinch myself to make sure this was real. That was the P.A of Freddy Shepherd. He had been told by Glenn Roeder (who was in the pub last night apparently) that I was suited to the vacant Newcastle manager's job and that he would like to see me for an interview this afternoon. I cant believe that, and I will keep it quiet till anything becomes official but I was joking when I said to the lads last night that I could do a better job than most of these Premiership managers. S**t, what have I got myself in to now?
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The interview went pretty well. Mr Shepherd was asking what I wanted for this club, and whether I felt I could do a job here. I was honest with him, which I think he respected. I just told him that I had little managing experience, and that although I had my coaches badges and worked as a coach at Conference side Chester for a couple of years when I was at University there, I felt I could use my passion for the club to take it forward. He thanked me for coming and then said he would contact me within the next couple of days. I'm not going to count my chickens to get the job, as I don't know who else has applied do I? I will just wait and see. I'm meeting the lads tonight, so I will keep quiet until I get the job (if I get the job)
Had a good night with the lads, had a couple of drinks, and a few games of pool and darts, but Thommo was quiet all night. I asked him what was up and he just kept saying he was fine, but I don't think he was. I will go and see him later, see what was up with him. Volcs was going on about some girl he had got friendly with, and this seemed to put Thommo in an even worse mood, and in the end I had to tell Volcy to shut it.
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I got the job. I can't believe it. Mr Shepherd just phoned to say that after serious consideration, he felt that because of my passion and lifelong support of the club I would do a good job with them. He did stress however that I would only get a 12 month contract to start with, and have the option to ask for renewal. I can understand that, he has to have the club's interests at heart. I decided to go round and see the lads, tell them the good news. Go and see Volcs first, he only lives 10 minutes away.
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"Thommo, open up. Come on, it's me, let me in"
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"Where is he"
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I shout at the neighbour at this point, she is mowing her front lawn. "Excuse me, do you know if Steve is in"
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"That's strange. Might be out back"
Apparently, he had gone to the shop, and his neighbour had seen him come back. She said he hadn't gone out since though.
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"Thommo. Thommo, what are you doing. Why you......S**T"
"Ste, Ste wake up. Oh you f*****g stupid t**t"
I ran back to the neighbour at this point. "Phone an ambulance, I think the daft buggers overdosed"
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"Ste you daft c**t, don't you dare snuff it on me"
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"Thank Christ the ambulance got here in 5 minutes. The idiot had drunk half a bottle of whisky and took 3 painkillers. His girlfriend had left him yesterday, and he was depressed. I knew something was wrong, I phoned the lads to let them know what was going on. They came and met me at the hospital, but luckily we got to him quick enough. He was fit enough to come home that night.
"Thommo, don't you ever do anything like that to me again. I s**t myself, I thought you had gone for a minute there; Anyway, we've got two things to celebrate now. Thommo's speedy recovery and my new job"
"Where you working"
"I'm manager of an establishment. Newcastle United I think they are called" I said with a sly grin
"What? F**k off. You got the manager's job? How the holy hell did you pull that off"
It was my first full day at work today. My P.A Katie had handed me a schedule as I walked through the door.
"Jesus Christ. Is this for the week"
"No, just for today"
"F**k me. I'm a busy boy then aren't I"
That was certainly true. A press conference at 10 was followed by a meeting with the board of directors at 11 30, and lunch with the Chairman at 1. In the afternoon, I was scheduled to meet the coaching staff at 2, then the players from 3 till 6, talking to each one individually. This should be a fun first day.
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The press conference was the usual stuff, all questions and not giving me a chance to answer. One prat thought it would be funny to question my heritage, asking if I was from the slums or the "scum's" of Newcastle. I put him straight, and after that there seemed to be no trouble. I was dreading meeting the board, I wondered whether they would think of me as some snotty nosed little kid in the job for the money. I would just be straight with them, like I was with the Chairman.
I was pleasantly surprised. They had the champagne put and were talking about the clubs ambitions, and focusing on how much I would have to spend on players. It went by quite quickly, before I had to leave to meet the Chairman for lunch. That was another nice friendly meeting, as was the meeting with the coaching staff, who all said they would give 110%. That was good to hear, and I can't ask for anymore than that can I?
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Ah, the joy of any football manager's day Meeting the playing staff. I had asked for them to be called in by squad order, starting with the goalkeepers, and working my way down.
Each player was given a verdict on what I thought of them
Goalkeepers - Not too much wrong in this department
Shay Given: Integral part of my plans. Would start as first choice keeper, and I want him to stay here for a long time. Will be looking for him to guide the younger keepers through their time here.
Steve Harper: Will be considered a part of my first team squad, although I would be looking to add a third keeper to have a wide choice. Tell him he will most probably play cup games.
Defenders - not the greatest, but not bad
Stephen Carr: He is my first choice right back, and will play majority of games. Will be offered a contract extension of 3 years to stay at the club
Robbie Elliott: Not in my plans and will be sold to first club that puts in a suitable bid. Will be training with the reserves till he is sold
Jean Alain Boumsong: One of my starting central defenders. The Frenchman has had a tough start at Newcastle, but I consider him one of my most valuable defenders. Will look to offer a new contract
Titus Bramble: Although injured at the moment, he is in my plans. I would like him to rotate the second centre-back position with another defender. Not highly rated by all, but he has time on his side and will come good eventually
Steven Taylor: I don't think he is quite ready for regular first team action yet, although will provide good cover should I have a crisis. Good young defender and will be here for a ood few years hopefully
Celestine Babayaro: Starting left-back, who I have always rated highly. Will play the majority of games although will need cover for him as he can't play every game. First choice in that position
Craig Moore: The big Aussie, although not in my starting plans, will provide valuable cover. He has experience and has played in some of the world's top leagues. Will be valuable for the younger defenders to learn from
Peter Ramage: Has a lot of potential, but will be in the reserves or out on loan to get experience. Will play cup games though, although I do need cover at right back
Midfielders - one of the best in the Premiership for me
Nolberto Solano: Back for his second spell at the club, the xperienced Peruvian will ocupy the starting role on the right of midfield. He has a good brain and a superb right foot. He's not as injury prone as Dyer
Belozoglu Emre: An absolute wizard on the ball, sheer class. Will probably play on the left, but can also play in the middle if needed. Lovely left foot and set-piece expert. What more can be said?
Scott Parker: Another player I have always rated highly, from his Charlton days. Feel he should have been given more of a chance at Chelsea, but am delighted to have him. Will start in the holding role in front of the defence
Kieron Dyer: This lad has had much abuse from his own fans and from others. One of the most gifted players in the country, but also one of the biggest under performers. Solano is ahead of him, but if he gets his head down and works hard that could change
Charles N'Zogbia: This lad is talented, no question. The young French winger will be a crucial part of Newcastle's future, but will be loaned out this season to gain some vital experience. Good young prospect though
Amdy Faye: I have never really rated this lad, and I won't really play him. It's only fair then that I sell him, to give the lad a chance to play football rather than rot away in the reserves. Will try to sell him
Lee Clark: Another player who won't feature in my plans. Will be sold to first respectable offer that comes in. Not a part of my regime
Albert Luque: This lad has a lot to offer. He can play upfront or on the left, and he has all the qualities of a top-class player. Is a Spanish international and will be a big part of my plans
Lee Bowyer: Will also be sold. Doesn't have the greatest attitude and although a talented player, our midfield has enough strength to cover his departure. Try to cash in on him
Forwards - some real class in this department
Alan Shearer: The hometown boy, and club captain. Ws due to retire but wanted to break the club scoring record. Will make sure he does that, and he will give help to the younger strikers. Experienced old warhorse
Michael Owen: Came from a tough spell at Real Madrid and will be a regular starter in the team. Has had his injury problems in the past but hopefully he can stay fit and propel us to a good season
Shola Ameobi: This lad has had his critics, but I will be using him in a rotation system. Will start the odd few games but will be on the bench to start with. Can also play wide if needed
We had entered the Inter-Toto cup, or Euro Vase as it is now called. If I was to be totally honest, I would say that I could do with going out of that and concentrating on the league to get in Europe properly next season. I better keep that quiet though. Our first game was a week away, against AA Gent. They weren't the strongest side but I would put a good team out, and see how they gel together. I also set about making enquiries for players who interested me. I needed another keeper and some cover up-front mainly, but all positions could do with some slight strengthening. I made a bid if £1.2 million for Hearts young goalkeeper Craig Gordon and a 500 k offer for Kilmarnock's explosive young striker Kris Boyd.
Having enquired to Benfica about their out of favour defensive midfielder Petit, I then set about scouring the market for a left-back. There wasn't really much quality about, at least not for this division anyway. Quinton Fortune was available, and was the only Premiership quality player so I quickly faxed a loan offer to Manchester Utd for his services
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I found two faxes waiting for me in the morning. One was an acceptance from Kilmarnock for Kris Boyd, while one was a £1.8 million offer for Lee Bowyer from Charlton. I was willing to accept that, and quickly phoned Charlton to inform them they were free to talk to Lee.
After discussing terms with Kris Boyd (which was quite easy, as he wanted to come to the Premiership) I arranged a medical for the next day. Sir Alex Ferguson also rang me to inform me that we could take Quinton Fortune on loan for the season, whcih was quite pleasing. I asked him to send Quinton up with his agent, and then asked Katie to take my calls for a couple of hours while I took training.
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Not a bad session, the lads still look a bit sluggish. Except Ameobi, he looked quite sharp. After training, my assistant Alan Murray came running over to have a word. He said he had watched a 17 year old defender from Anderlecht on TV and he looked an absolute class act. He suggested putting a bid in. I had a quick look at the tape he had, and after seeing the obvious class of the lad, decided to take Alan up on his suggestion. I duly faxed a 750k offer to his club.
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Anderlecht informed me that I could have a chat with Vanden Borre if I upped the offer to £1 million. I saw it as a good investment, seeing as his young age and his top class ability, so I accepted their offer, and arranged for Vanden Borre to fly out to Newcastle. I watched Kris Boyd have his medical, and he passed with flying colours. I was delighted to welcome him to the football club, and looked forward to working with him
I am into this Sherm. You don't need any advice from me. The writing is good and there's hardly any typos, which all the good stories have. Keep writing.
I'm nervous today. It's the day of our first game under my leadership. We flew out to Belgium yesterday, and I took the lads for a training session in Gent's stadium this morning. If I'm honest, the place was a s**t heap, and was nothing compared to St' James. Still, they weren't exactly the greatest team.
Good news from today is that Quinton joined us, although he wasn't able to play in the match. I put in a 200k offer for German central defender Roland Benschneider, who can also play on the left, as he seemed like a good back-up to me. Benfica also said that they would accept a 775k offer for Petit, which was quite surprising as he is worth double that. Anyway, the bid was made and he was delighted to have the opportunity to come and chat with me.
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It's an hour or so to kick-off. I had just given the team sheet out to the officials. The team was my strongest possible, and lined up in my preferred 4-4-2 formation, but with a holding midfielder and 3 players across the middle, so looking like a 4-1-3-2. The team looked strong, although missing Solano who picked up a knock in training this morning.
The boys started strong, and knocked the ball about for the first half hour or so. Shearer forced the keeper into a good low save, and Emre tested his handling with a 25 yarder. Dyer had been quiet, only getting into the game in the 24th minute for a booking. 8 minutes later he lunged in for a rash tackle, and received a second booking. So after controlling the play, we were reduced to 10 men. I brought Moore on for Shearer and played 5-3-1. We were outplayed after that, but the defence held strong. 7 minutes from time, Ameobi broke free to slot under the Gent keeper, and give us a surprising, but a good win under the circumstances. It could have been so different though.
The Magpies - Flying back to the top 
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