Mr Spot and his merry men enter the room and sit at the head of the table. Introductions are passed around probably for my benefit.
"Right gentleman, we are here to invesitgate claims by Mr Zitface that he was unfairly dismissed by Volgar football club. As you are aware I have met with both sides and have undertaken a brief investigation. Nothing seems to add up hence I need to see both parties. This has been ongoing and needs to be rectified satisfactory. The fact of the matter really boils down to a possible relationship between Ms Duwane Rider and yourself." He looks at me over his glasses. "Volgar claim that the relationship has brought embarassment to the club and that it is totally unprofessional. Mr Zitface however claims that no such relationship has taken place."
a knock on the door disturbs the meeting. "Come in". Oh my god.. I don't believe it how dare she, she can't, she's got a cheek. Duwana Rider makes her grand entrance.
"What you doing here, I told you to stay away, this has nothing to do with you don't you ever listen." Astrakham tells his wife.
"Right then lets get on, these claims Mr Astrakahm about this relationship when did you first realise"
"Hang on, Hang on a minute" Duwna stands up. "Will somebody please tell me what is going on here, this lot of blokes think that I've been having an affair with Slobadan and that's why you've sacked him. No wonder you've got me to stay away. I knew it"
"I know its true Duwana, don't lie to me you lying tart" Astrakahm looks at her. The Volgar board members don't know where to look and I look on in amazement.
"I have not been having an affair, thats 100% certain, your a jealous bitter old twisted man, just because you can't have your own way all the time, and you always have to have the last say well times are changing" Duwana then turns to the FA. "Volgar does not have a leg to stand on, I agree that Mr Zitface has been unfairly dismissed. My husband is jealous of the friendship we have, it wasn't a sexual relationship, he is a lovely man, kind, caring and willing to listen, unlike this lot."
Mr Astrakham has to say something, I just sit there in amazement, not having to worry about anything. "For god sakes woman sit down your a disgrace, I knew I shouldn't have let you in on the Board"
"Well folks, I think I have heard enough of this saga from the Board of Volgar, it seems that personal marital problems have caused anxiety and a rash decision was made to sack Mr Zitface. What makes the decision much easier is that not one of you bothered to contact him to tell him about his sacking you get somebody else to do it. As you can't reinstate Mr Zitface into his previous position I suggest that you pay him compensation, loss of earnings, on the understanding that he must apply for other jobs. Mr Zitface have you any questions?"
"No" the words coming out quickly. I had won without saying a word, god knows how it would have gone if Duwana hadn't turned up. "Oh yes I have, how long will I paid for?"
"Well until you find yourself another managerial job, I take it you will return to football?"
"Yeah of course, I was just getting my feet under the table in fact I have applied for a couple of positions in England, think it best to get away, fresh start etc. I don't want people always thinking that I'm the bloke who got sacked for doing nothing"
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