retired_teju

1st Dec The process begins. I sign ex Italy Under-21 AMRL ST Christian Giuffrida from Celtic for a fee of 800K. I had been shadowing him for a while, and he's been prospering in their reserves. He arrives on the 1st January.

5th January Feeling that we're too callow at the back, I tie up the signature of former Italian international full back Francesco Coco from Milan for 80K on an 8K/week deal until the end of the season. Pires thinks he's finished, but I'm prepared to roll the dice on a defender who has played at the very highest level, and is still only 32. He also arrives 1st January.

7th December Stoke vs Notts County
Calliste is back up front, with Rezek moving to ML. Our cause is helped when they have a man sent off inside 10 minutes, about the only stroke of luck we've had in ages. Yet we put in an abysmal 1st half display, and I savage the lads in the dressing room.
From a fairly aimless long punt downield, Hjalmar battles to win the ball and his shot is saved, only for Calliste to slam home the rebound for a 53rd minute lead. The home side manage to get another man sent off, and we manage to take advantage soon after this time, Rezek heading in a nice cross from Sparv with 20 minutes to go. The outcome is a formality from there, and I tell the lads that while it was a good result, the performance was tripe. It's our first win in 5.

Stoke 0-2 Notts County ATT: 20479

9th December Crewe vs Notts County
Briland has picked up an injury, to be replaced in goal by Lewis. Otherwise we're unchanged. A dreadful start by both teams, then they score somewhat against the run of play after 21 minutes. I am tired of ranting at half time, so just ignore them. The players continue to take money under false pretences in the 2nd half, until Hjalmar illuminates things with a nice run and shot on 82. A draw the result, and no praise from me, that's for sure. We should be beating these in our sleep.

Crewe 1-1 Notts County ATT: 4258

13th Notts County vs Plymouth
Unchanged again, and so is the performance. Both sides are utterly awful, then out of the mess that is this game, Hjalmar heads home after 33. The visitors equalise with the last kick of the half, which was entirely expected the way we've played lately. I say nothing again at half time, and Calliste answers my silence with a stunning volley after 49 to put us back in front. We hang on after that, if for no other reason than the game is too terrible to yield another goal. I have never felt so underwhelmed by a win.

Notts County 2-1 Plymouth ATT: 12848

16th December I'm not underwhelmed any more! I have just made the biggest signing in the history of this club! Jermaine Jenas, one year removed from his last cap for his country, is joining us on the 1st for a fee of 2.9M. He'd been on the list at Spurs for yonks, but I was convinced his 33K/week wages were insurmountable for us. P***ed off as I was with the current squad, I decided to ask, and discovered he was interested in coming to us! He gets 8.5K/week, with 1.7K appearance and assist bonuses. In addition, The Yiddos have to pay him 4.5K/ week till the end of his contract to get rid of him. A massive signing this. Fans gather outside the ground when the news comes through, and I look like a genius, which of course I am!

17th December Notts County vs Man United LG CUP Q-FINAL
Briland returns in the nets. We stun our famous visitors in the 1st minute, a brilliant pass from Hjalmar blasted in emphatically by Calliste. I'm sitting on the bench thinking this can't last, and in the 6th minute, a long ball is poked home by Saha for the equaliser. Just 4 minutes later however, Calliste's cross is put into his own net by Wes Brown. We hang on till half-time, and I go defensive. It invites all sorts of pressure 2nd half, and Briland pulls off some amazing stops. The pressure must surely tell, but with 10 minutes left, they over-commit, and after a lightning fast counter, Hjalmar is hacked down in the box. Flamini coolly despatches the kick, and Meadow Lane nearly has the roof lifted off by the roar. The stuffing is knocked out of them, and at the end Ferguson is as grumpy as f**k, shaking my hand like I had leprosy, before bolting off down the tunnel with a seething rage on his face.
Our dressing room is in transports of delight, and I tell the lads they were fantastic. Outshot, but tactically spot on. We sucked them in and blew them out in bubbles. A League Cup semi with Liverpool awaits.

Notts County 3-1 Man United ATT: 20277

Gate receipts of 400K were a record. Lloyd and Nisja picked up knocks and will miss a couple of weeks. Fans bombard local radio, with talk of my "tactical genius". Didn't I just get through telling you I was a genius?!

20th December West Brom vs Notts County
Morrison and Morais come in. A bad mistake by Brandao gives them the lead 3 minutes in, and they score again after 15. we are outshot 10-3 in the half, and I tell the lads I am expecting a win. It's much closer 2nd half, and Hjalmar chips in for sub Mark Yeates to net his 1st for the club (71). That's as close as we get, and I tell the lads that was a disappointing effort. The end of the worst 4 game unbeaten run in the league I think I've ever had.

West Brom 2-1 Notts County ATT: 29625

Richard Jones and Adrian Pettigrew both demand first team football. Since I am not in the business of accepting demands, I tell them to shut up and get on with it.

26th December Before the Boxing Day game I arrange for Radim Kopecky to join Yeovil for free. Not me and Riggy's finest hour this one. We thought he could play, and Riggy was especially keen on him, but he turned out to be a total flop. Still, it's 2K/week off the wage bill.

Notts County vs Norwich
They're riding high of course, but we're not scared! Yeates starts at MR. They start brightly, then we come back into it more. The lads come in at half time expecting a pat on the back, instead they get a furious team talk from me. We are too satisfied with mediocrity these days. Despite my performance in the dressing room, the game meanders to a crushingly boring draw. I suppose it's a good result.

Notts County 0-0 Norwich ATT: 13971

The injury list from this game is horrendous. Saritama broke his ribs (1-2 months), O'Hara is out 1-2 weeks, Morrison the same with a heel injury, and Ebanks marked his return to 1st team action by promptly getting injured again for 1-4 weeks.

30th December Leicester vs Notts County
Harkins and Lloyd come into the starting line-up. They start off like a house on fire, and we are easy meat, conceding after 11 and 19 minutes, in a particularly spineless display of defending. Straight after the break, Flamini heads in a Calliste cross, but the game descends into an ill-tempered affair, full of niggly fouls and poor football. It's as if Martin O'Neill never left Leicester. Despite that, I still blame our players, and get angry in the dressing room afterwards. Yeates has injured his elbow, and will miss 1-3 weeks.

Leicester 2-1 Notts County ATT: 31566

The month closes with a very tidy profit of 445K

retired_teju

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | | Fulham | | 28 | 18 | 3 | 7 | 58 | 26 | +32 | 57 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | West Brom | | 28 | 16 | 6 | 6 | 43 | 28 | +15 | 54 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Crystal Palace | | 28 | 14 | 8 | 6 | 45 | 28 | +17 | 50 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Portsmouth | | 28 | 14 | 8 | 6 | 47 | 34 | +13 | 50 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Norwich | | 28 | 12 | 12 | 4 | 42 | 27 | +15 | 48 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Reading | | 28 | 12 | 8 | 8 | 36 | 26 | +10 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Leicester | | 28 | 12 | 8 | 8 | 40 | 41 | -1 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Derby | | 28 | 10 | 13 | 5 | 39 | 26 | +13 | 43 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Doncaster | | 28 | 12 | 6 | 10 | 48 | 41 | +7 | 42 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Stoke | | 28 | 13 | 3 | 12 | 35 | 38 | -3 | 42 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Notts Co | | 28 | 12 | 5 | 11 | 37 | 36 | +1 | 41 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Southampton | | 28 | 9 | 13 | 6 | 44 | 37 | +7 | 40 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Coventry | | 28 | 9 | 11 | 8 | 45 | 47 | -2 | 38 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Sheff Utd | | 28 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 37 | 42 | -5 | 38 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Wolves | | 28 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 52 | 50 | +2 | 36 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Sunderland | | 28 | 9 | 8 | 11 | 31 | 35 | -4 | 35 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Ipswich | | 28 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 41 | 39 | +2 | 34 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Crewe | | 28 | 8 | 6 | 14 | 31 | 44 | -13 | 30 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Nottm Forest | | 28 | 6 | 11 | 11 | 41 | 42 | -1 | 29 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Brighton | | 28 | 7 | 7 | 14 | 30 | 44 | -14 | 28 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Plymouth | | 28 | 6 | 10 | 12 | 25 | 39 | -14 | 28 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Hull | | 28 | 7 | 5 | 16 | 25 | 43 | -18 | 26 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Bournemouth | | 28 | 5 | 5 | 18 | 26 | 57 | -31 | 20 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | | Lincoln | | 28 | 4 | 5 | 19 | 33 | 61 | -28 | 17 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

retired_teju

1st January For the first time in a few years I reckon, we have a revolving door come the 1st of January. Or maybe my memory is going.
Lee Barnard arrives and walks straight into a controversial situation. The fans have him pegged as a troublemaker, which he denies. I only tell the press that I'm sure he's not any trouble at all, and if he is, his stay at our club will be a short and unpleasant one.
Jenas tells the press of his delight at ending his Spurs "hell", as he bravely hung on in there for nearly a year earning 33 grand a week.
Giuffrida and Coco arrive without any fuss, while Radim Kopecky disappears out the back door of Meadow Lane, confirming his status as the most disatrous signing I have made here by some distance.

4th January Notts County vs Hull FACUP RD 3
My team reads: Briland, Pipe, Coco, Ochoa, Brandao, Flamini, Giuffrida, Jenas, Calliste, Rezek, Tandy . We're very lively to start, with lots of chances. Eventually, a 35th minute free kick is beautifully curled in by Sparv, revealing set piece mastery I didn't realise he had. I encourage the lads at half time, which has the opposite effect when Jenas gets sent off on his debut for his second bookable offence 3 minutes after the restart. We are forced to hang on and make a very good fist of it. But this being the FA CUP of course, a mistake by Flamini gifts them an equaliser 4 minutes from time. A replay beckons.

Notts County 1-1 Hull ATT: 6872

A journalist asks me about Giuffrida's performance, which was very good, and I say he'll be an excellent signing for us. My thoughts on Jenas' debut would likely cause any newspaper that repeated them to be seized by the Obscene Publications Squad.

7th January Notts County vs Liverpool LG CUP SEMI LEG 1
This is a big one...sort of. I'm expecting us to get hammered, and I am not disappointed. They are 3 up after 18 minutes (on 3 shots) and we appear hopelessly outgunned. Cut a long story short we lose 5-0 in the end, though we were only outshot 11-5. We'll take the payday thanks.

Notts County 0-5 Liverpool ATT: 20271

Riggy and Southampton are our next opponents. It's all very cordial in the lead up to the game, but the two of us agree to keep all the personal bullshit off the agenda and just restrict our comments to the game. He gets a standing ovation before kick-off, and I wholeheartedly join in. He deserves it. Once the whistle sounds, it's all business.

10th January Notts County vs Southampton
They're 2 places below us in the league, so we want a result here. Jenas and Jones replace Flamini and O'Hara.
It looks like we're still feeling generous towards our former assistant manager, when the visitors race into a 2 goal lead after 15 minutes. We're right in the game as regards chances, but the defence is a shambles. Rezek gets us back into it on 37 minutes with a nice run and shot. I do my "I'm not talking to you useless c***s" routine at half-time, and for once they seem to get the message. Calliste heads in a straightforward chance on 53, then a dreadful mistake worthy of our defence allows Rezek to pounce and score a gift-wrapped offering. I go defensive, yet they score straight away, so I go back to our usual tactics. It's as if both teams have worn the other out, and the game slides to an entertaining draw.

Notts County 3-3 Southampton ATT: 10510

Both Riggy and I are disappointed afterwards, and over a drink in the bar we discuss how things are going. He's as tight as piano wire, and admits that management is tougher than he realised, especially with Rupert Lowe breathing down his neck at Southampton. Apparently the fans haven't warmed to him either, because he's not a "big name". I tell him not to worry, class will always come through. We have a right go at the booze that night, and he heads back to the South Coast the next morning.

12th January A Monday morning that may come to be known in club history as "the day of the long knives". I fire the entire coaching staff, and attempt to demote Pires back to a coach, but he refuses and I don't want to spend the money on his pay-off. The rest of the coaching staff didn't see this one coming, but to be honest I can't imagine why. Results and performances have been abysmal of late. These guys weren't my appointments, I inherited them. They were happy to claim the credit off me and Riggy's back, now that we're playing sh**e, they'll have to shoulder the blame. It's not pretty, but it has to be done. We'll soldier on with just me and the Frenchman for now.

14th January Hull vs Notts County FA REPLAY
Brandao moves to DL, with Vitale at DC, Coco DR, Nisja MR, and Lewis back in net. We dominate the first half, and of course go behind after 29 minutes. I don't deign to give them a team talk again, and they take it badly, culminating in Vitale getting sent off for a professional foul with 20 minutes left. Terrible rubbish, even with 10 men we look to have the beating of them if we only played to half of our potential. But we don't.

Hull 1-0 Notts County ATT:16927

Vitale complains when I fine him for getting sent off. I am deaf to his entreaties.

17th January Notts County vs Fulham
They arrive very cocksure of themselves, and why wouldn't they be sitting in 1st place, and with us playing like drains. Lloyd is back at DL with Brandao at DC and Giuffrida MR. We have all the play and all the shots, but get absolutely f**k all. They are taken aback by our onslaught, though manage to hang on through wave after wave of our attacks. Then just as I am drafting a resignation letter in my head, a sweet move culminates with Hjalmar centreing for Calliste to hook it in. Relief erupts in the stands and on the bench. Everyone knows this will be our well deserved winner. I was pleased to draw some of the cockiness out of Fulham too.

Notts County 1-0 Fulham ATT: 12737

21st January Richard Jones leaves the club for 1 million pounds to join Dundee. I'd lost faith in the lad, and he started whining as well, which is never a good idea with me.

Liverpool vs Notts County LG CUP SEMI 2ND LEG
Every possible reserve comes in, and if we were hopelessly outclassed in the 1st leg, we are even more so here. They win 4-0, outshooting us 24-7, but by God we get paid. When all the beans are counted, we come out of this one game 600 grand in front.

Liverpool 4-0 Notts County ATT: 59488

27th January Notts County vs Sheff Utd
As always, a horrible 1st half, but this time punctuated with a headed goal by Rezek from a pin-point Nisja cross. I encourage the lads at half time, and they respond well, going forward with purpose and creating chances. In the 61st minute, Tandy crosses for the Czech to complete his double. Despite them getting and scoring a dodgy penalty just before time, we deserve this one.

Notts County 2-1 Sheff Utd ATT: 13658

28th January Lots of pre deadline transfer action. I sign Aussie keeper Brad Jones from Boro and Liverpool reserve utility defender Lee Peltier both on end of season Bosmans, both against the advice of my assistant manager.
Filipe Morais joins Huddersfield for 500K. The time had come for him to move on. I was fond of him, but he was found out at higher levels I feel.
Jonathon Evans is surplus to requirements, and is bombed out to Exeter for the 55K I paid for him, while Frazer Richardson joins Sheffield Wednesday for 50K, for the same reason I sold Morais - I'd lost confidence in his ability.

31st January Doncaster vs Notts County
Giuffrida comes in at ML, otherwise we're unchanged. Jenas manages to get sent off again, this time in 1st half injury time. Considering they score twice in the 5 minutes after the break, it would be fair to say that I am livid with him. The defeat is a formality from there, and I fine the former England man. He complains, and we get into a dressing room shouting match, which I win when I threaten to fine him 2 weeks wages instead, telling him that if he doesn't like the way things are done here, he can p**s off back to Spurs reserves.

Doncaster 2-0 Notts County ATT: 15439

January ends with a quite obscene profit of 3 million pounds.

retired_teju

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | | West Brom | | 33 | 20 | 6 | 7 | 57 | 33 | +24 | 66 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Norwich | | 33 | 17 | 12 | 4 | 56 | 32 | +24 | 63 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Portsmouth | | 33 | 16 | 11 | 6 | 58 | 41 | +17 | 59 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Fulham | | 32 | 18 | 4 | 10 | 58 | 33 | +25 | 58 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Crystal Palace | | 33 | 14 | 10 | 9 | 50 | 40 | +10 | 52 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Leicester | | 32 | 14 | 10 | 8 | 45 | 42 | +3 | 52 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Stoke | | 33 | 16 | 4 | 13 | 46 | 47 | -1 | 52 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Derby | | 33 | 11 | 17 | 5 | 43 | 29 | +14 | 50 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Reading | | 33 | 13 | 9 | 11 | 41 | 32 | +9 | 48 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Doncaster | | 33 | 14 | 6 | 13 | 54 | 47 | +7 | 48 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Notts Co | | 33 | 14 | 6 | 13 | 44 | 45 | -1 | 48 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Southampton | | 32 | 9 | 17 | 6 | 50 | 43 | +7 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Wolves | | 33 | 11 | 11 | 11 | 63 | 60 | +3 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Coventry | | 33 | 10 | 14 | 9 | 49 | 54 | -5 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Sheff Utd | | 32 | 12 | 8 | 12 | 42 | 48 | -6 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Sunderland | | 33 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 37 | 39 | -2 | 41 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Nottm Forest | | 33 | 8 | 14 | 11 | 48 | 44 | +4 | 38 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Ipswich | | 33 | 9 | 11 | 13 | 43 | 47 | -4 | 38 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Crewe | | 33 | 10 | 6 | 17 | 36 | 54 | -18 | 36 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Brighton | | 33 | 9 | 8 | 16 | 40 | 52 | -12 | 35 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Plymouth | | 33 | 8 | 11 | 14 | 31 | 47 | -16 | 35 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Hull | | 33 | 9 | 6 | 18 | 36 | 50 | -14 | 33 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Lincoln | | 33 | 6 | 5 | 22 | 44 | 71 | -27 | 23 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | | Bournemouth | | 33 | 5 | 5 | 23 | 27 | 68 | -41 | 20 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

retired_teju

6th February I had recently been running an ad for new coaches. A very interesting response was garnered, and I make a raft of hirings.
Gary Speed was the first to sign up, followed by Jari Litmanen, Dennis Bergkamp, and Yuri Djorkaeff. They all signed the same contracts, 1.1K/week until 2012. Their coaching experience is negligible, but my God they're big names! If the players can't learn from them, who can they learn from?
I wasn't really blown away by any of the other candidates, so I just said "f**k it", let's have some star power. It can't hurt, though I am wondering if I have actually signed up a serviceable coaching staff, or a team of celebrity greeters. We shall see.

7th February Brighton vs Notts County
With my star studded coaching staff in tow, we head for the south coast. O'Hara replaces Jenas. As is the custom, we start brightly then concede a sloppy goal (27), before Rezek fires in a leveller 4 minutes later. I tell the lads that we can win this, though they can't have been listening. We concede again after 61, then give away a penalty, which is converted, after 72. It's one of those days (which we have been having plenty of lately). Despite outshooting them 14-9, we fall to a struggling side. Nowhere near good enough.

Brighton 3-1 Notts County ATT: 8935

10th February I tie up the free transfer signing of Lithuanian international winger Edgaras Cesnauskis from Dynamo Kiev. This is one guy I'd had my eye on for a while, yet had to wait until his contract was up. He looks top-class, and costs it too. His contract calls for 7K/week till 2012, with a large signing on fee on top of that.
We've been making do on the left wing for years. Rezek played a lot there, but he's really a striker who can play a bit on the wing. Nowadays, I want him exclusively up front. This is the out and out wing man I have been looking for for a while. As a freebie, he joins immediately, and goes straight into the side.

10th February Notts County vs Crystal Palace
Pipe, Jenas, Cesnauskis, and Hjalmar replace Coco, O'Hara, Giuffrida, and Calliste.
The usual. We dominate, they score (24). How tiresome. This time I tell the lads that our pride is at stake (as if we have any). Eventually, Rezek (who definitely has some pride as well as class) heads in a Pipe cross for an equaliser. Despite battering them again and again, that's all we get, in a match where we outshot our opponents 12-4.

Notts County 1-1 Crystal Palace ATT: 12212

Cesnauskis was man of the match, and I confirm to a journalist afterwards that I am delighted to have signed him.

There's plenty I am not delighted with though. I have been rebuffed several times by the board in my quest for a new contract, to the point where I am now seriously pi**ed off. Hull have sacked Kevin Blackwell, and though Martin Allen has been tagged as the favourite, I throw my hat into the ring.

14th February Bournemouth vs Notts County
They are dead last in the table, so should beat us easily. Morrison replaces the injured Lloyd at DL, with Vitale and Calliste for Brandao and Hjalmar.
The time honoured pattern is followed, the home side scoring after 6 minutes this time, and a full half of domination is rewarded with us going in behind. After more pressure, Flamini lobs in and Rezek finally forces home (51) although how the hell it took that long I don't know. A long punt from Vitale 4 minutes later is latched onto by sub Ebanks, who finishes nicely to put us very deservedly in front. I go defensive straight away, which tells you my mindset after our recent dreadful performances. Flamini is at it again though on 82, chipping through for Ebanks to fire in a clinical 2nd. A good result, though one we would have taken for granted earlier in the season.

Bournemouth 1-3 Notts County ATT: 8977

15th February Hull's "ambitious" chairman Adam Pearson is on the dog and bone, offering me the manager's position at 2.8K/week for a 3 year deal. I am totally honest with him about the situation. I am pi**ed off but want to stay here, however if they don't come through with a decent contract, I'll be off to Hull like a shot. I ask him to delay this until the end of the season. He is very understanding, and really boosts my confidence by saying "you are the man we want."

17th February Another transfer target is on his way to Meadow Lane. Outstanding young Ukranian AMLC Sasha Iakovenko will join us from Belgian side Lierse on an end of season Bosman with 800K compensation due to his tender age. Our scouts have been absolutely creaming about this boy, and it's things like this that really firm up my intention to stay here if I can only get the bast**ds to offer me a new deal.

19th February Saritama is finally back in training. Dust off the cliche about "he's been out so long it's like a new signing."

21st February Notts County vs Hull
Oh how the fates collide. If I'd left in a fit of pique, my first game in charge of Hull would have been right back here.
The visitors are lively, yet for once we steal the lead. Jenas delivers a searching cross to the back post for Nisja to head in, the only real action of a drab 1st half. I impress on the lads not to get careless. The game proceeds in the same stone-dead manner as before, and I strangle any remaining life out of it by going defensive with 15 minutes left. They huff and puff a little bit, but give us little trouble in hanging on. A sh**e performance and a much needed win.

Notts County 1-0 Hull ATT: 10376

23rd February Jarno Parikka bleats about his lack of first team action in the local media. Had he played any better in the opportunities he had, then he wouldn't have cause to complain. As it is I have already decided to bomb him out at the end of the season. I would have got rid of him in January except there weren't any takers.

February ends with a loss of 21.62K. This causes a minor boardroom earthquake, where they've become accustomed to stuffing large amounts of cash under sofa cushions ever since I took over.

retired_teju

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | | West Brom | | 37 | 22 | 7 | 8 | 63 | 38 | +25 | 73 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Norwich | | 37 | 19 | 13 | 5 | 68 | 39 | +29 | 70 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Fulham | | 37 | 20 | 4 | 13 | 62 | 40 | +22 | 64 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Portsmouth | | 37 | 17 | 13 | 7 | 62 | 44 | +18 | 64 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Leicester | | 36 | 17 | 10 | 9 | 53 | 45 | +8 | 61 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Doncaster | | 37 | 18 | 6 | 13 | 64 | 48 | +16 | 60 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Crystal Palace | | 37 | 15 | 12 | 10 | 54 | 43 | +11 | 57 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Derby | | 37 | 12 | 20 | 5 | 47 | 32 | +15 | 56 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Stoke | | 37 | 16 | 8 | 13 | 50 | 51 | -1 | 56 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Notts Co | | 36 | 16 | 7 | 13 | 49 | 47 | +2 | 55 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Reading | | 37 | 13 | 12 | 12 | 43 | 36 | +7 | 51 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Sheff Utd | | 37 | 14 | 9 | 14 | 46 | 55 | -9 | 51 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Wolves | | 37 | 12 | 13 | 12 | 70 | 67 | +3 | 49 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Coventry | | 37 | 11 | 15 | 11 | 55 | 61 | -6 | 48 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Ipswich | | 37 | 12 | 11 | 14 | 53 | 55 | -2 | 47 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Nottm Forest | | 37 | 10 | 16 | 11 | 56 | 47 | +9 | 46 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Southampton | | 37 | 9 | 19 | 9 | 55 | 52 | +3 | 46 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Sunderland | | 37 | 10 | 15 | 12 | 40 | 42 | -2 | 45 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Brighton | | 37 | 10 | 10 | 17 | 46 | 57 | -11 | 40 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Plymouth | | 37 | 9 | 13 | 15 | 42 | 58 | -16 | 40 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Crewe | | 37 | 11 | 6 | 20 | 40 | 63 | -23 | 39 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Hull | | 36 | 10 | 6 | 20 | 38 | 55 | -17 | 36 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Lincoln | | 36 | 6 | 6 | 24 | 48 | 80 | -32 | 24 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | | Bournemouth | | 37 | 5 | 5 | 27 | 30 | 79 | -49 | 20 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

retired_teju

We're somehow still in with a serious chance of cracking the playoffs. Maybe I have become too used to success, but I am amazed we're still in the hunt. Having played well below our potential for a couple of months now, I expected us to be mired in mid table. A long winning streak could see us contesting the Premiership lottery come the end of the season.

retired_teju

1st March Lincoln vs Notts County
The Imps are struggling in 22nd. Flushed with success from our last game, I name an unchanged 11. Pipe helps get us underway, crossing for a criminally unmarked Rezek to nut it in after 2 minutes. There then follows some of the worst defending I have ever seen from two professional teams, and the fact that no goals accrue is only due to the even worse standard of finishing.
This slightly odd game continues after half time, when Cesnauskis scores with what appears to be an attempted cross. The commentary acclaims it as a wonder strike, so who am I to argue? On 62 minutes, Pipe gift wraps the ball to an opposition striker for 2-1. Just 6 minutes later, Ochoa gets in on the act, getting caught in possession leading to an Imps equaliser. Just as I am pondering 2 more dropped points, Rezek pops up to head in a very dangerous corner from Cesnauskis, and we have our 3rd straight win. Once again, this winning streak has contained some of the worst football we've ever played. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing. We made very heavy weather of what should have been a simple win.

Lincoln 2-3 Notts County ATT: 8786

3rd March Notts County vs Wolves
Calliste and Saritama replace Ebanks and Flamini, the Frenchman having picked up a suspension. Comical defending in this one again, as we concede two entirely preventable goals after 2 and 4 minutes. A litany of misplaced passes, defensive errors and general poor play characterises the first half. I appeal to the team's pride at half time, which results in another goal straight away for the visitors. The less said about this one the better, although I try to introduce sarcasm into the team talk at the end, by telling the squad I am elated with their performance.

Notts County 0-3 Wolves ATT: 12089

7th March Ipswich vs Notts County
Briland, Brandao, and Hjalmar replace Lewis, Morrison, and Calliste. In a crappy 1st half, I experiment by going defensive early, which blunts them until half-time, without creating anything ourselves. On the hour, Cesnauskis produces another A-Level cross for Rezek to emphatically fire home. We counter nicely after the goal, and on 70 minutes, Flamini produces a slide rule pass for Cesnauskis to absolutely hammer one into the far corner with his devastating left foot. The home side look beaten, and with 10 minutes to go, sub Nuno Morais completes the rout with a jammy deflected shot, his first goal for the club. A superb performance by the lads, which delights the board. It delights but also vexes me. How the hell can we produce stuff like this straight after the ineptitude against Wolves?

Ipswich 0-3 Notts County ATT: 26056

14th March Notts County vs Coventry
Calliste replaces the suspended Rezek, and immediately has an effect, chipping to the back post for Hjalmar to head in (17). We continue to dominate, creating lots with nothing coming in the other direction. Come 70 minutes, I go defensive, and Sod's Law, Cesnauskis whips in a free kick that finds Hjalmar with the goal at his mercy for 2-0. Of course the visitors score the usual "consolation" (91), just to annoy me. Realistically, they were never in with a shout, and could have lost 10-1 on another day.

Notts County 2-1 Coventry ATT: 15210

22nd March Riggy has received the dreaded vote of confidence at Southampton. Results have been average, Rupert Lowe expects more down there. Selfishly, I envisage a scenario where he gets canned and comes back as my assistant. Instead I weigh in with the media, backing him to the hilt, saying he's a gem and they have to stick with him. Riggy responds warmly in the press, and calls me up personally too. I let him know there's always a job here, though he should fight like hell to hang on to the one he has.

In our business, Ochoa picked up a training injury, and will miss 1-2 weeks.

28th March Sunderland vs Notts County
Brandao replaces Ochoa, with Lloyd at DL. I try defensive again, which comes a cropper after 15 minutes. Despite going attacking, we are getting absolutely killed out there by a very modest side. I question the passion at half-time. It does no good. Outshot 15-8, it was a very poor performance, and at the end I tell the lads they were embarrassing.

Sunderland 1-0 Notts County ATT: 29190

31st March FINALLY! A new contract is offered, not before time. They want 4 years, at 3K/week, but I am only interested in 1 year at a time. I diddled myself last time around and am not falling for that again. People talk about security, however I reckon I'll not be short of job offers if they boot me out. Before the press conference and all that crap, I call Adam Pearson to let him know. He is ok about it, telling me he has Martin Allen lined up as his second choice to take over at Hull. It's all very cordial and professional...not like football at all!

David Pipe speaks for the players, saying he's delighted that they have finally seen sense. Bit of a pity that, because I haven't been happy with his form this term, and am thinking of replacing him at the end of the season.

The club makes a princely profit of 15K for the month.

retired_teju

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | Pl | West Brom | | 41 | 25 | 7 | 9 | 69 | 42 | +27 | 82 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Norwich | | 41 | 20 | 14 | 7 | 73 | 46 | +27 | 74 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Fulham | | 41 | 23 | 4 | 14 | 72 | 44 | +28 | 73 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Portsmouth | | 41 | 19 | 13 | 9 | 69 | 51 | +18 | 70 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Leicester | | 41 | 19 | 12 | 10 | 61 | 52 | +9 | 69 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Doncaster | | 41 | 20 | 6 | 15 | 70 | 53 | +17 | 66 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Crystal Palace | | 41 | 18 | 12 | 11 | 60 | 45 | +15 | 66 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Notts Co | | 41 | 19 | 7 | 15 | 57 | 54 | +3 | 64 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Derby | | 41 | 14 | 20 | 7 | 50 | 36 | +14 | 62 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Stoke | | 41 | 18 | 8 | 15 | 57 | 58 | -1 | 62 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Reading | | 41 | 15 | 13 | 13 | 51 | 41 | +10 | 58 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Wolves | | 41 | 14 | 14 | 13 | 78 | 72 | +6 | 56 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Sunderland | | 41 | 13 | 15 | 13 | 46 | 45 | +1 | 54 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Sheff Utd | | 41 | 15 | 9 | 17 | 49 | 62 | -13 | 54 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Nottm Forest | | 41 | 12 | 16 | 13 | 64 | 54 | +10 | 52 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Coventry | | 41 | 12 | 16 | 13 | 59 | 66 | -7 | 52 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Southampton | | 41 | 10 | 20 | 11 | 61 | 58 | +3 | 50 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Ipswich | | 41 | 12 | 12 | 17 | 57 | 67 | -10 | 48 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Crewe | | 41 | 13 | 6 | 22 | 46 | 71 | -25 | 45 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Brighton | | 41 | 11 | 11 | 19 | 52 | 65 | -13 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Hull | | 41 | 12 | 8 | 21 | 45 | 60 | -15 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Plymouth | | 41 | 10 | 14 | 17 | 45 | 62 | -17 | 44 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Lincoln | | 41 | 8 | 6 | 27 | 60 | 92 | -32 | 30 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | R | Bournemouth | | 41 | 6 | 5 | 30 | 32 | 87 | -55 | 23 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

retired_teju

We're still well in the hunt for the playoffs. We shall see. I'm really disappointed with our record in some respects. We haven't scored enough, and yet we've conceded far too many. I don't think it's our pattern of play, it worked fine for the last four years. A couple of the players aren't good enough, and will be replaced. A couple more of them are good enough, but aren't trying hard enough.

Even if we do snipe into the playoffs, I will not allow sentiment to obscure what may need to be done next year. We wasted a hot start this season. I must ruthlessly weed out inconsistent players if we are to get better and get to the Premiership. After all, that was my mission when we started.