retired_aurie

I forgot to mention that at the end of the month, I'm sitting in the 16th place in the division, when in all honesty I should be around the 6th. Oh the horror of it all

retired_jessicabraden

Fingers crossed that you can do the job mate. I'm a secret Rhyl fan. Never started unemployed before somight give it a try. Good Luck bud :thup:

retired_aurie

Thanks Leo :thup:
I'll be trying to make monthly updates now. If only to keep the story flowing better.

retired_aurie

December 2005
Quite a few players have signed new contracts lately. I was keen to extend the contracts of those players who had their places pretty much cemented for the season and would probably feature for next season too. One of those players was my player/assistant manager Aled Rowlands, though he was demoted to player/coach, to which he didn't object at all.

I called a meeting the night before the game against Bangor City and told the players that they'll have to work hard on creating and finishing chances for the remainder of the season. The way the team has outplayed all opponents this season, or at least most of them, but still lost the games, has been heartbreaking. So for the game I called the following into action:

GK Louis Mackin
DR Aneurin Evans
DL Alec Stacey
DC Mark Hobson
DC Marvin Arthur
DMC Owain Whittaker
MC Stephen Kelly
MC Aaron Broaders
AMR Marcus Taylor
AML Tom Ramasut
ST Troy Hayder

Subs:
Greg Evans (gk), Shane O'Connor (am/f c), Alex Davies (am c)

I asked the players what they thought of this setup and the starters were quite happy, but the rest of the lads weren't as impressed. The subs though didn't moan much, as I've shown that everybody will get a chance from the bench. It's absolutely imperative that key players are rested at various times throughout the season, so the substitutes must be fresh and eager to impress. That's the only way to move up the table around here.

Moving onto December 3rd 2005.
Bangor City v. Cefn Druids
What a game. We had 27 shots on goal, 20 of which hit the target. Not only did they hit the target, 6 of them went in. Yes you heard me people. 6 smegging goals
Ramasut got us going with a goal in the 2nd minute of the game from a well executed counter attack. We were under the kosh for a short time after the goal, but then we took all control on the pitch and Bangor never really stood a chance against a rampant Ancients side. Hayder added another on 21 minutes, followed by Ramasut again on 25. Hayder couldn't be outdone by the winger, so he added a quick 7 minute double, in the 31st and 38th minute, respectively. We went in at halftime 5-0 up and I told the lads how thrilled I was over their performance. In the second half, Arthur scored from the spot following Atherton's dismissal for a professional foul, after which we slowed down for a short time. Then we went back into top gear but now the Bangor goalie suddenly came to life and shut up shop. In the 90th minute we got another penalty, but this time Arthur screwed the ball wide of the left upright. He doesn't score often, so he was absolutely devastated by this unfortunate incident. At the end of the game I told them that they had been absolutely fantastic and I told them to shower up and head off to the pub, it was time to celebrate. We have a long rest before the next game, so they should be ok by the time the next game comes around.

The following morning Mackie called me up and congratulated me on a superb performance in the game. He said that having seen the game taken so firmly by the scruff of the neck would make the fans so happy and they'd be singing until the next game. Somehow I have the feeling that he's more interested in selling more souvenirs, but that can only help the club
Ouch that hangover!!! A good thing I gave the lads two days off after that game.

8th Dec 2005
I shouldn't have had all that beer last night. I shot myself in the foot bigtime, apparently. I woke up to a phonecall from Mackie where he declared his unhappiness with my declaring an interest in the Inter Milan job. I must admit that I had no idea what he was talking about, so he came to my place and shoved a newspaper in my face. Bloody reporter must have asked me when I was lying under that table at the pub last night and then printed it as a sensationalist report. Damn journos
I hope that the board won't take it too hard, as it would be a rather inconvenient thing to get sacked now, once the team is on a roll. Ah well, that's life I guess.

Cefn Druids v. Rhyl
I named an unchanged squad against Rhyl, who were supposed to be near the top of the table before the season got underway. Surprisingly enough, they were 15th in the table and were having a hard time of things.
What we expected to become a very difficult match, turned out to be much easier than we had anticipated at first. We got a very easy 3-0 win, which should, in all honesty, have been much bigger. The goals came via Stephen Kelly (2, one of which was a penalty) and Marcus Taylor. Rhyl had one player sent off, for a professional foul in his own box. After that it was a formality to finish off the game.
Man of the match: Alec Stacey.
Current league position: 11th.

The chairman came up to me after the game and congratulated me on the performance again. We seem to be making the fans very happy and that makes him happy. I hope he can put that drunken indiscretion behind us. I'll just lay low and focus on the job at hand.

Cwmbran v. Cefn Druids
For the third game on the spin, I named an unchanged side. I hoped that the lack of tinkering could help us put together a decent run in the division. And now to the game we go.
Gutted, absolutely gutted. First Stacey got injured early in the game and then we got routed 3-0. I gave the players a piece of my mind at halftime and they didn't respond properly, which set up that loss. So I really told them what I thought of their performance on the day. Absolute horror and I'd rather not witness anything so horrible again. The Cwmbran chairman called me on the way home and asked me if I'd pay for the door that I'd broken down after the game. Of course I will, it's nothing but common courtesy.

Another bad news after the physio had taken a look at Stacey's ankle. He's going to be out for at least two weeks, maybe as long as a month and I don't have a left back to cover. Bloody bad luck had to strike over the festive period. And as luck would have it, we have another game tomorrow. Where the WFA come up with such horribly stupid matchdays is anybody's guess.
Nobody came out of the game with any credit and we're languishing in the lower half of the table again, bloody 13th

Cefn Druids v. Carmarthen
What a change in 24 hours!!!
I had to make some changes to the team, due to fatigue and other factors. So the matchday squad was as follows:

GK Mackin
DR Evans
DL Rowlands
DC Hobson
DC Arthur
DMC Whittaker
MC Mazzarella
MC Broaders
AMR Taylor
AML Ramasut
ST Hayder

Subs:
Evans (gk), Lindsay (st) and Reid (dc)

Hayder was like a man possessed in the game. He was basically everywhere in the attacking third and bagged 5 goals in the first half alone. I decided to rest him after about 49 minutes in the game, so Lindsay took over the striking duties. Taylor was tired, so I sent Reid on for him. Reid went to the right back position with Evans moving to the attacking midfield position. Finally I allowed Greg Evans to come in for Mackin in the goal. Whittaker was the main culprit of giving the visitors a penalty, from which they scored. He lost possession in a dangerous place and then topped the move with a silly foul. A bit later Ramasut scored a wonder of a goal for the Ancients, with a diving header, after a great reprieve work from Evans. He had given away a penalty a little earlier, which his namesake in the goal saved masterfully. The Ancients got a penalty of their own near the end of the game, but Arthur blasted it over the bar, so I guess it's back to shooting practice for the entire team. Bloody wasteful on penalties.
End result: 6-1
Goals: Hayder (5), Ramasut
MOM: Hayder
League position: 11th

So that's it. We come to the turn of the year in the 11th place, which is far better than we had dared hoping. Here's to a continued evolution of the team in the new year. Unfortunately we can't celebrate too hard on New Years Eve, since we have a game on New Years Day. I gave the lads some time off though, they need to rest after this turnaround. I met up with the chairman after the game and he was ecstatic. The disappointment of the loss from the day before was forgotten now. All we need now is stability. I have to admit that it's the one thing that we must search for, or we're done for.

retired_aurie

January 2006
I got a call from Tom Ramasut before I started writing down the starting lineup for our game against Airbus. He told me that he was so exhausted and hadn't been able to sleep since that rout against Carmarthen. What's worse, his productivity at work had been suffering as well, so his boss there wasn't best pleased. I told him then that I'd give him the day off, go and get some shuteye and report back to training on Tuesday.

Airbus v. Cefn Druids
I had to draft in Mazzarella as a makeshift left winger for the game, due to Tom's extreme fatigue. When it came down to it, it isn't his natural position, so he suffered throughout the game. I named an unchanged side for other positions on the pitch.
And what a horrid start. Within 5 minutes we were a goal down, due to some horribly poor marking in the 6 yard box. And that feat was repeated in the 40th minute. Poor marking and they got a second. So on that note, we went in 2-0 down and I was fuming at half time. I explained to the lads that the team's pride was at stake here and they needed to do something about this. I didn't change anything just yet, as I wanted to see if the players would respond to my bollocking. Within 5 minutes of the half, Hayder stepped up and slotted the ball into the net, after a nice cross from Evans. We were always on the back foot and in the 57th minute, Broaders scored against the run of play and following that, I made a triple substitution. Mazzarella came off for Shane O'Connor, who got the instructions to charge into the box at all opportunities. Kelly came off for Alex Davies and I decided to change goalkeepers as well. So with that we kept at it. But at the back we were poor and only poor finishing from the Airmen that kept us alive in the game.
After the game I told the lads that their performance was a disgrace and they had nothing to be proud of. We should have come in and wiped the floor with the opponents, but instead never played a part in the game as such. Damn I need a cattle prod.

I decided to give the lads a rest on Monday and then called a meeting with them in the evening.
“You know lads, we've been horribly inconsistent lately. We're either hammering teams or ****ing in our shoes. Is it a mental thing or do you reckon we should sign even more players??”
The team captain, Marcus Taylor, raised his hand first. “I reckon we could use more players here, especially since we need cover at the back. If any of the lads get injured, then we don't have enough experience to cope. And we still don't have a left back since Alec twisted his ankle. And what are we going to do if Aneurin gets injured as well? Then we have no fullbacks at all.”
“A good point Marcus, thanks for the pointer. I reckon I'll have to look into defensive cover, especially the fullback positions, and a defensive midfielder. Owain, as good as he can be, can't be asked to save hour backsides every game we struggle. So we need backup for him too. And of course for Tom as well on the left wing.”

Following that I told them that Tom would be returning to the starting lineup for the next match, even if he was tired. We just didn't have enough cover there. I'd try to make sure I'd replace him during the match though, so he'd not have to run all out for 90 minutes. On that note we called the meeting off and started watching some dicey movies from my private collection
Anything to get the guys worked up

Jan 11th 2006
Cefn Druids v. Porthmadog
We'd had a full week off recuperating and that should have done us a world of good. Tom and Alec were still out with their injuries and I hoped they'd return soon. Both were absolutely imperative for our success so far. But to to the match then.
Another drab draw, with Hayder getting the only goal for us. We had loads of chances, but somehow the lads just couldn't convert. I really hope that the missing players will come back soon. We're missing their contribution really badly.
I was happy with the goalscorer, but the rest of the squad simply weren't good enough and I told them that in the dressing room after the match. They were quite subdued, but that's only to be expected. They have nothing to be proud of after this game.
Current league position: 12th

Jan 14th 2006
Aberystwyth v. Cefn Druids
What a disgrace. Down by a goal in the bloody fourth minute and that useless gimp of a substitute left back Reid completely messed up on defense. He forgot that he has to support his fellow defenders and left the opposition striker all alone for an easy tap-in goal. Then in the 15th minute, he lost control of the ball and didn't track back, resulting in another goal for the home team. Immediately I substituted him and set up a more attacking formation. Hayder managed to get one goal back, but that was never going to be enough so we lost the game 2-1.
Hayder was the only one who got any positive feedback from me in the game, the rest were reprimanded as they deserved. Now 13th in the division and things aren't looking good. Nobody wants to come up here, not even on loan, so strengthening the team is going to prove to be extremely difficult. Everybody will get tomorrow off, I need a pint.
A new player arrived this week. I got Alfie Carter from TNS for a paltry £2000 . If only to serve as backup to Tom and Alec, since he can play every position up and down the left wing. The supporters are showing some unrest, afraid that he'll cause all hell to break loose. Well if that's the case, then he'll be out on his arse double quick. But let's give the lad the benefit of the doubt.

Jan 28th 2006
TNS v. Cefn Druids
Things are looking better on the injury front. Tom is back and I could start Alfie Carter against his old club. Alec is getting better from his ankle injury and should be available for selection very soon.
So to the game. TNS started off with intent and caused me all sorts of problems early on. But my goalkeeper kept them at bay and helped us to stay level at halftime. In the second half there was more of the same, but this time we were all over them when we got on the attack. The damn ref on the other hand was not going to let us get anything from the game, disallowing 2 goals due to offsides, highly disputable ones at that. If Aled hadn't been on the bench at the time, I'd probably have been sent into the dressing room myself. Then on 55 minutes I decided to change things around. Evans went into the goal for Mackin. Aled came on for Tom, who had started to tire a lot. That meant I had to shift things a bit, so Alfie went to the AML and Aled deputised at left back. Finally Alex Davies came on for Aaron Broaders in midfield, since I needed some attacking guile in the middle. Aaron is more of a bulldozing runner, while Alex is more of a 'slip 'em through quietly' sort of a player. On 77 minutes TNS changed things around with two substitutions. That caused a bit of a mixup in my defense, which caused us to concede a goal. We went all out for attack after that, but for some odd reason, the woodwork saved the opposition from being pinned back.
So the final score was 1-0 for TNS and we're on a rather long winless streak now. It's 5 games without a win now and we've slipped down to 14th in the table.
I told the lads that I couldn't fault them for effort in this game. They gave everything they had, but it didn't prove to be enough on the day. After the match, I told the sports reporter from our local radio station that TNS would probably run off with the title. They're certainly strong enough to do so.

I gave the lads Sunday off, they need to rest and recharge their batteries before the cup game next weekend.

retired_redhot51283

hehe never tried to manage a team in the Welsh premier league, sounds like a frustrating job at times and yet an encouraging challenge

retired_aurie

Thanks IHF
I'm only doing this for a laugh and if the rest of the people enjoy it, it's a grand bonus.

*********************

February 2006
The night before the match I invited all the players to my place again. This time I was planning to mould a winning formula for the cup game against Aberystwyth. I told all the lads about the new professional contract that Hayder had just signed. I told them that there would be professional contracts up for grabs for those who play well and secure the team in the Premiership.
I've already got a few targets in the team for a professional contract. I don't want to reveal who they are at the moment, but soon enough they'll find that it's much better to earn around 200 quid per week for doing nothing but playing football, instead of having to labour all day and then come into training totally shagged out.
To say that the lads were surprised would be an understatement. Marcus even asked me if I thought that the team could support many players going full time pro. I told him that we'd probably need a small infusion of cash from the chairman to get it to work. But the plus side of the coin would be that with a stronger squad, we'd be able to challenge for trophies domestically and that would mean more fans coming to matches. He nodded at that and declared himself happy with the idea. Most of the other players also showed positive attitude and all of them congratulated Troy on his first full time pro deal.

Cefn Druids v. Aberystwyth Welsh Cup 4th round.
Troy was very much up for this game. And before the half was up he had scored 4 goals, much to the joy of our fans. The control we had over this game was such, that the visitors only had one shot hit the target, out of eight tries. And our goalkeepers were well worth their salaries on that occasion. They caught many passes that were directed into the box and never looked like giving anything away. The best news of the day was that Alec was back on the left hand side of defence and Tom was up in front of him. Neither disappointed in the game, though I decided to substitute both of them on 57 mintutes, along with Mackin, so they wouldn't get injured again. Only 5 minutes after the change, Troy decided that he'd want one more goal and duly delivered. He's now scored 23 goals in 21 games in the Premiership and 6 goals in 5 cup games. A grand total of 29 goals and he's the local hero around these parts. After the game I hailed all of them for their fantastic performance and told them that there would be a 2 day rest from training following this victory. Then I told them that we'd meet up at the pub in 2 hours and anyone who didn't show up would be shampooed* after the next training session.

*shampooed = uncomfortable punishment, involving bending over and a shampoo bottle. I'll leave the rest up to your imagination, dirty as it has to be

The chairman called me after the game and could hardly be understood. He was so happy and/or drunk that he just rambled on for about 20 minutes. I guess his wife put him to bed before he made a fool of himself, at least she came to the phone and thanked me too. She's even more of a fan than her hubby and had never seen the team score so many goals in so many games as they had this season. I guess we should ask her to attend every game, since she seems to bring out the best in us.

I went to the pub with the lads and had a grand time. While in there, I started chatting to a lovely lass. We got along very well and decided that we'd meet up again the following weekend, but we'd take it slowly and carefully, if we didn't want things to go completely bonkers in town. And now I have a dilemma, do I really want to get involved with the chairman's daughter?? Decisions, decisions.

Monday saw us drawn against Porthcawl away in the fifth round of the Welsh Cup. They're a non-league team, so we should be able to go past them quite easily, but the minnows can be tricky, as many a manager has found out in the past and will again in the future.

Cefn Druids v. Welshpool
I was rather nervous before the game, because we hadn't been playing with any great confidence in the league. But I managed finally to name my best side, with the exception of team captain Marcus Taylor. I drafted in Mazzarella for him and he paid me back with a goal in the 6th minute. Hayder had a goal parried by the opposition goalie and Paul was alert enough to slot the ball coolly into the unguarded net. A defensive lapse saw us concede a soft goal after 34 minutes, which gave me the willies really. Was it going to be one of those days? Fortunately I have Troy Hayder on my team and he responded with a brace before halftime. In the 40th minute he got a nice pass from Alec near the halfway line and then charged up the pitch slotting the ball very nicely in off the far post. Then at the start of injury time, the visitors' goalkeeper decided to try to outsmart Troy and got punished when he stole the ball and scored a simple goal. After halftime things got even more interesting, when Tom Ramasut scored a fine goal. Evans sent in a teasing cross from deep, which was meant for Troy. It hit Kinsey in the Lilywhites' defensive line and floated over to Tom who scored with a diving header. Mere moments earlier, we'd had a moment of madness by Smith in the Welshpool goal. He hung onto the ball too long, just like in the first half, and Troy stole it from him. Smith decided that enough was enough and hauled him back, resulting in an instant red card and basically it was game over from then on.
Result: 4-1
League Position: 14th, with a game in hand.

The chairman was very happy with the result and told me that he was very optimistic of our chances of staying up with relative ease. I'm not so certain though. There's a long way to go and many things can go wrong. I was extremely lucky after the game though, as his daughter had managed to sneak into my car during the game and when I got in, she decided to please me for masterminding the win in the game. Just when she bent over to do so, her father walked past and gave me the V-sign. Damn that was close. Maybe I should get a better car than this 15 year old Escort. Tonya smirked at me and said, “I'm sure he's going to lose the rest of his marbles if he walks in on us in a position like that” and winked at me. Damn, she's going to be the death of me before I reach my 40th.
Cefn Druids v. Caernarfon
We must be jinxed very badly. In the second minute, Paul got injured and will be out for anything between 3 weeks and 2 months. Then in the 43rd minute Tom got injured again, this time he's out for a long time. Before he got injured though, he managed to score two goals and made me extremely happy, for a time. I feel sorry for the lad, he's been putting in some superb performances and certainly didn't deserve this. The visitors lost Kevin Breeze for a second yellow just before halftime and things really looked bad at the time. I the second half, Alfie Carter scored his first goal for the Ancients. Some really silky passing freed him up when he charged in from the wing and converted a superb cross from Aaron Broaders. Then in the 81st minute Stephen Kelly, my assistant manager, got himself sent off for a second yellow. A completely needless challenge saw him sent off, for which I fined him a weeks wages. Anybody who gets sent off will get fined for his troubles, that's just how I am.

Mackie called me after the game and heaped praises on me and the team. I'm glad that he acknowledges that it's a team thing, as I couldn't do it without the lads. I'll be sure to let them know about how pleased the chairman is with their efforts.
In other news, Tonya has started surprising me with all sorts of antics, seemingly designed to cause us to be on the verge of getting caught in the act by her father. I don't know how long we can keep this a secret from him, it's a really brain busting dilemma. Maybe I should go to the old man and ask him for the hand of his daughter in marriage. But somehow I don't think either of us is ready for that just yet. I just hope that the lads don't find out, though I wouldn't be surprised if Marcus knows. Being injured is a drag, but it allows him to reflect on things from a distance and I'm told that he's a keen people watcher. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

And it's turned out that Kelly feels the fine was unfair. Well tough. Don't get bloody sent off you git. I just wish that the press would ask about my policy, then the players will think again.

What a dreadful ending of the month. First of all the chairman finally found out about me and his daughter. He noticed that she came into my apartment quite unexpectedly for him, so he decided to see what she was up to. The next thing I know, she has her tongue halfway down to my innards and her old man is banging on the door, with a rather strange look on his face. I couldn't help but admit that I'd been seeing his daughter for a few weeks now and added that all my intentions were of the honourable sort. I hadn't told him and neither had she, because we were still trying to find our feet and didn't want to cause any undue panic anywhere. Fortunately he's a rather sensible gentleman and saw that it would probably be best to allow us to see where we could take this relationship. But he told me that I better not treat her badly, because I'd not be working anywhere in Wales again, if that happened. I told him that treating anybody badly was the furthest thing on my mind and he seemed to be satisfied with that. Needless to say, me and Tonya got quite busy in my bedroom for the next few hours.

Qonnah's Quay v. Cefn Druids
Shambolic, is the first word that comes to mind here. I tried to get my guys into gear by working them up to a frenzy in the dressing room before the game, only to see that they turned into bloody poodles when they started the match. Some seriously poor defending saw the home team score in the 17th minute and no matter how much I yelled at my lads, they were totally clueless on the pitch. I gave them one of my bollocking speeches at halftime, only to see that they kept on like headless chicken in the second half. Substitutions didn't seem to help much, as on 66 minutes we conceded another stupid goal. It wasn't until the 80th minute that Hayder pulled one goal back, but it was too little, too late and the homeside got a deserved victory.
Result: 2-1
League Position: 12th.

After the match, I really yelled my guts out at the team for this crap performance and showed no restraint in doing so. The only player that came away with any merit was Troy, but he can't do everything alone. In the evening both Hobson and Broaders expressed their concern over the fact that they thought I had been too harsh on the team lately. I told them, in no uncertain terms, that if there was anything that I hated, it was people slacking off on the job. I never did it myself and I demanded the same from everybody else. Hobson backed down and said he understood what I meant, but I'd have to understand that they were only part timers, not full time professionals. I told him that I was aware of that, but the least they could do when playing, was to apply themselves and not make silly decisions on the pitch. I just wish he commanded more influence among the players, I'd be willing to give him a chance to captain the side. Aaron, on the other hand, is still quite ****ed off though I expect him to cool off in a little while. If not, then I'll ship him out. I have no patience for incompetence in anything.

retired_aurie

March 2006
Injuries have hit us again. Where will it end, for feck's sake? Now Aneurin has sprained his ankle badly, leaving him out of the picture for at least 3 weeks, but might be as much as 2 months. I'm really cursing this unlucky spell. This means we'll have to change our tactics to accommodate the players we have available. Now I'll have to work on that with Aled and Stephen. A heavily modified 5-3-2 will probably be the system of choice, with an extremely attacking mindset.

I just received a phonecall from Neil Roberts, the club physiotherapist. He told me that yet another player had fallen prey to the injury jinx. Kevin Walsh twisted his ankle very badly in training and is expected to be out for 2-4 weeks. Who's next??

Porthcawl v. Cefn Druids Welsh Cup Qtr Final.
We took control of this game right at the start and still couldn't breach the home team's defence. Or, more accurately, their goal. Throughout all of the first half, we bombarded their goal but couldn't get the ball into the back of the net. How frustrating
In the second half, I decided to keep using the same system and keep the attacking prowess going. Still nothing. On 57 minutes I decided that enough was enough and sent on Crowley and O'Connor in place of Lindsay and Graydon. I also decided to swap goalies, only to make sure that both keep sharp in case of an injury. Then finally a breakthrough. Who other than Troy would be alert enough to take advantage of a defensive mistake and score. Unfortunately the defensive frailties showed again and we conceded a goal three minutes later. What the ****?
I decided to go to a seriously attacking 4-3-3 system, with the left back Alec asked to play as a wingback and bomb down the wing for the remainder of the game. Owain was put into midfield with the other lads, but was asked to come back further when we didn't have the ball. I set up 3 at the back, since Aled is no fullback. Unfortunately this was all to no avail, since the Porthcawl goalkeeper was in no mood to give anything away. So to extra time and I was fully expecting somebody to break down from fatigue. At the end of the first ET half, Owain put in a slide rule pass through the home defence and managed to fool both defenders and goalkeeper. Troy pounced on it and scored his second of the game. Fortunately we managed to hold on to the end and ran out deserved winners, even if we didn't trounce the opposition like we should have.
So on to the Semis we go and a slight chance to get into a final this season. I'll wait to see who we play though, as nothing is guaranteed yet.

After the game I declared myself pleased with the lads and gave them the following 2 days off, so the could rest and spend some quality time with their families. It would also give me more time to work on my carnal skills with Tonya

On Sunday I got the news that Marcus had returned from his injuries and might be up for sitting on the bench next Monday. Finally some good news on the injury front.

On Monday I received the news that we'd be facing Rhyl in the Welsh Cup SemiFinals. We better buckle up for that one, as we should be able to nick one there. It won't be easy though, for the game will be played at Belle Vue. I also placed an advert at the Job Centre for a coach and a physio, because the current ones are being seriously overworked these days. I've had a decent turnout of applicants, but they're all too expensive for us to hire. So I'll keep advertising for the time being. Hopefully some of the players will take a coaching badge so I can give them an extended coaching contract.

Cefn Druids v. Caersws
We did the double against the Bluebirds today. They did themselves no favours when Gallen started off planting the ball, quite professionally into his own net. After that my lads took all control and Troy added two more goals each side of halftime. I declared myself very happy after the game and after having declared my disappointment with Aled's performance in the first half, he redeemed himself quite nicely in the second half. Taylor came back with a substitute appearance in the second half and I'm quite happy to have him back.
Final score: 3-0
Current league position: 12th

Mackie was very happy with the double against the Bluebirds. He sent me a text message, stating that the sort of performance we had shown was the sort that made him proud to be a fan of the club. Well, that made me all warm and sentimental.

His daughter was waiting for me when I got home and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what went on for the rest of the evening. In the morning I found out that Brian had indeed come to my door in the evening, but couldn't get any attention from us on the inside. I knew I had heard knocking somewhere in the proceedings. When I met him the following day, he just gave me a knowing wink. I guess he's come to terms with what's happening between me and Tonya.

I'm furious again. Why the hell does the FA insist on having the teams play back to back days in the Premiership. As if the players don't get tired enough if we have weekend and midweek games. Bloody imbeciles the lot of them, but unfortunately I don't have anybody to complain to. They've got all bases covered.

So a game tonight and the lads are rather tired, to say the least.
Grange Quins v. Cefn Druids
It was about time to pay those guys back for the defeats they'd imposed on us earlier in the season. Who better to seal the victory but Troy? Then Healey got himself sent off for the Harlequins. After that we basically coasted to victory, though we had some shaky moments near the end of the match.
Final Score: 0-1
Current League Position: 9th

I gave the lads the next day off, if only to get some rest after two subsequent days of Premiership games. Next up are Llanelli and I've already started the mind games up to the match. Whether is has any effect remains to be seen.
Tonya is so inventive, I'm afraid that if I start listing the stuff she has me trying, I'll be put to jail for reciting porno stories
He father is taking it easy, though he's always reminding me that the club is losing money, even with us being below the salary limit. Seems like we need some good sponsors for next season.

Cefn Druids v. Llanelli
Wow, what a performance in the second half. The guys were totally outmuscled and outplayed in the first half and I told them, in no uncertain terms, that this was horrible crap and that I expected much better in the second half. In the second half, Troy grabbed himself a hattrick, in addition to Lindsay's first goal for the club.
Final Score: 4-1
Current League Position: 8th

The chairman's so happy, he even invited the whole team over for dinner tonight and I'm giving the whole team 2 days off now. They deserve the rest and I want to spend some quality time with my sweet Tonya. I just hope she doesn't plan on swapping partners anytime soon.

We now have a 2 week time off, due to international games. So we'll get to work on the things that we haven't managed to master during the season. I just wish that we could offer more players the opportunity to become fulltime professionals. At the end of season it may happen, but so far we've got to be careful about it.

In other news I offered one of my scouts a position as a coach. I need to have somebody in there to take off the most of the strain from the other coaches. I guess I'll have to go down that route when it comes to getting a physiotherapist. I just hope I can get one that's willing to join without us going broke.

A couple of days later, Chris McCarthy came to my office and handed me the signed contract, smiling from ear to ear. He's very happy to take on the coaching role and I've put him in charge of shooting practice. I just hope he's going to have a positive effect on the lads, because we want to keep that momentum going in the league.

Friday 24th March 2006
The injury jinx has struck again
I've lost three players to various injuries now. Alex Davies could be out for a week with a dead leg, Aled Rowlands twisted his knee and could be out for up to 4 weeks and Paddy Crowley fractured his arm when he fell during training, leaving him out for up to a month. My only hope is that everybody will be back in shape by the time we face our next opponents in the league.

Sunday 26th March 2006
I just got the news that Bangor City had decided to sack their manager, Peter Davenport. Seems like they had lost patience with him after a dismal run in the league. Thank heavens that the pressure on me was only to stave off relegation. I believe he was supposed to do much better with Bangor. I immediately stepped into the fray and offered him a job as an assistant manager, though I've got no hope of him signing on. Mainly because I can't offer him the sort of money he demands for his services. If he declines, then we haven't lost anything, because we didn't have him to start with.

Tuesday 28th March 2006
I decided to offer Alec a fulltime professional contract today. Mainly to reward him for his excellent performances during the season. This should hopefully end all the sniffing that TNS are doing around him, because he's the only left back at my disposal. Carter is more attack minded than a left back should be, though he can deputise there if needed.

Wednesday 29th March 2006
Davenport declined my offer to join the Ancients, well so be it. If money is all he's after, then he can go rob a bank. I'll just keep on plodding away with my lads instead.

Thursday 30th March 2006
Alec Stacey came in sporting a massive smile on his face today. He shook my hand and thanked me for giving him the chance to focus completely on his football, as he was getting rather bored at the garage where he'd been working since he signed for the club back in 2003. I told him that if he ever felt like he wanted to go to the garage part time to keep his skills sharp, he'd have my blessing. I'd need a good mechanic if my ageing Escort threw another wobbler. He grinned at that and signed the contract right off. He told me that he'd been exceptionally pleased that I'd added a clause where he'd get rewarded for his assists, because that gave him the incentive to improve on his crossing and forward passing. We shook hands and then went out to talk to the other lads.

I told them that Alec had been rewarded with a full professional deal now that he'd performed above and beyond the call of duty and there would be more up for grabs, if the lads kept on winning like they had recently. I saw Tom's face light up. He's obviously hoping for a contract like that as well. I'll be certain to reward him if he can keep off the injury list.

At the end of the month, I received the excellent news that six of our players had been named in the team of the month for March. I called a short team meeting on the Friday night and told them who the lucky gits were. Aneurin Evans, Mark Hobson, Tom Ramasut, Owain Whittaker, Troy Hayder and Aaron Broaders, who was named on the bench of this month's team. I came in second in the election for manager of the month, while Troy was named the player of the month, for his deadly shooting abilities during the match. I told the lads that bevvies would have to wait until after tomorrow's game, since we're trying to make history and get to the Finals of the Welsh Cup. The chairman was there with us and congratulated everybody personally and reiterated my statement from the day before that those deemed good enough at the end of season, would get rewarded with a professional contract. The rest would have to keep working on their game to get the same sort of a reward. His speech was well received and the lads really seem up for tomorrow's game.

retired_aurie

April 2006
Rhyl v. Cefn Druids Welsh Cup Semi Finals
We got the game underway in a bizarre fashion. On the attack for most of the game and, for a change, had a team playing the same system as we were playing. In the end though, our greater familiarity with the tactic proved a deciding factor and we beat the home team, despite missing two consecutive penalties in as many minutes. First Owain let the Rhyl goalkeeper save his kick, Taylor picked up the rebound and was duly fouled in the box. We got another penalty from that and then Troy Hayder, our 2 goal hero in the game, blasted the ball wide. Fortunately Troy had already got 2 goals in the game and made sure of our progress to the Finals of the Welsh Cup.
Final Score: 0-2

The chairman joined us in the dressing room after the game and wanted to shake hands with all the players for this amazing performance. The Ancients have won the Welsh Cup 8 times in all, but this is the first time since 1903 that they make it to the finals. I told the lads to shower up and hurry up and get dressed, tomorrow's a day off from training and we're off to Marvin's pub to celebrate.

Tonya was nowhere to be seen at the pub. I wonder where the hell she is. I was going to give her a good one on one demonstration when we'd returned from the pub. Well, another worry for another day.

Monday 3rd April 2006
We just found out that our opponent in the Welsh Cup Final is Welshpool Town. We've played them twice this season, one win and one loss. This is one we're going to have to win, if only to gain some recognition in football. It might help us sign better players to strengthen the squad.
Roberts also informed me that he'd checked Tom Ramasut out of physiotherapy and he was free to start training normally again. Finally a bit of good news on the injury front.

Cefn Druids v. Port Talbot
One of the most boring games in recent history, after which I decided to mock Wayne Davies, the Port Talbot manager, about their chances of surviving in the division. If course they're above me in the league and in no danger of relegation, but I'm always up for a prank, especially when teams come to play such a boring defensive tactic as they did on the day.
Final Score: 0-0
League Position: 9th

Roberts came to me after the game and told me that I'd be without troy for a few days because of some silly gash to the head. “Can't we just bandage it and let him play on?”, I asked indignantly. “I'm sorry, but that would only make it start bleeding again and we could lose him for a much longer time. It's better to let him rest and then get him back roaring for action”, Roberts said.
Damn, at least Tom is back and got his first 35 minutes after the injury he suffered. He did ok, but all of the team was rather offbeat in the game and nobody could be singled out for praise.

I gave the lads a day off, as we have a game coming up in a few days. I decided to call Tonya, but her mobile was turned off. Odd thing, she's been off for the last few days. It's as if she has no interest in keeping this little ditty going on. I'd barely laid the mobile back on the desk when it rang. Brian was on the phone; “Have you heard from Tonya?” he asked. “Not a word and I just tried to call her now and her phone was off. I haven't seen her or heard from her since before the Semi Final against Rhyl. He expressed some concern and hung up the phone. What the smeg has the girl gotten herself into?

I've decided to try to bolster our coaching and physiotherapy team. So I've made an offer to sign two new coaches and a physio to strengthen that side of things. At least it will ease the workload of the people currently at the club. I hope the chairman will forgive me for letting us slide every so slightly over the salary limit, but this is an important thing for the future of the club.

That's a bit of a change in personnel. I just finished signing John Gowens as a physio from Dag & Red and the coaches Tony Rodwell (from Southport), Stuart Taylor (from Stirling) and Richard Edwards (free transfer). That means the coaching staff can share the level of training better and make sure that everybody is working to their maximum potential. Two of the coaches are three star attack coaches, so I have to make sure that the one I rate higher takes it on.

Cefn Druids v. Bangor City
AAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
What the hell kind of a mistake was that? The opponents down to 10 men, we were one goal up, after scoaring in the 85th minute and we concede from the bloody last kick of the game, after a corner kick. I told the players exactly what I thought about this and it was obvious how much we missed Troy today. The rest of them couldn't score in a brothel, even if they had the best guide in the world to point them on. As wasteful as any I've ever seen in my life. Broader got the goal, but he should have scored 4 on the day. Not only did the Bangor lads score in injury time, we missed a bloomin' penalty in the 90th minute as well. I told the players that there would be extra training tomorrow, something they looked very unhappy about.
Final Score: 1-1
Current League Position: 9th

In other news, Manchester United have been relegated from the English Premiership and Chelsea are about to follow them!! I can't believe it. Both teams on 17 points, ManUtd with 5 games left and Chelsea with 6, so they have a mathematical chance of escaping. Must be the surprise package of the century.

I got a text message from Tonya today. She told me that she'd met a bloke from Italy at the pub and decided to elope with him. I'm shocked, I wasn't aware that she'd go for those choco barstewards when looking for someone to play with. I told Brian and showed him the message. He was completely lost for words. “I never thought she'd have it in her”, he said. “She always said that she wanted somebody big and powerful to keep her safe from anything. I had just about accepted you and your 6'3” frame and then she does this.” He went silent and strolled out of my office, what little there is of it. Seems like I'll have to look for a new girlfriend then.

I just saw the news. Chelsea have been confirmed as relegated like ManUtd. I'm flabbergasted, but quite happy in a way. It just shows that a sugardaddy isn't going to win you everything on offer. What I was very surprised to see was that Everton are near the top of the table with so much of the season gone. For them being 7th with a chance of European footie is a great accomplishment, considering that they were predicted to go down at the start of season. What is the world coming to??

I decided to try and lure Jari Litmanen to Wales. But I don't hold out much hope, though wonders never cease in this business. He'd make a great dressing room presence and can teach my lads a thing or two about football in general. He'll take his time making a decision, seeing as he's nursing a very persistent injury. I just hope I can lure him in and get him to take his coaching badges, because he'll prove to be invaluable to the club with the coaching skills added on top of his footballing skills.

Saturday 15th April 2006
Litmanen decided to reject my approach, nothing surprising there though.

Tonya suddenly showed up at my place and expected me to take her with open arms, after her recent shenanigans. I told her in no uncertain terms that I wasn't about to be played for a fool and if she really wanted to make something of our previous fling, she better show me that she's meaning it this time. I'd had my share of troubles with the opposite sex and wasn't going to let another encounter break me in half. Then I asked her to leave the apartment and think it over. If she was serious, then she could come back and I'd treat her as well as I ever had, even better. With that she went out with tears in her eyes. I couldn't care less, because I didn't expect her to return anyway.

Sunday 16th April 2006
Aled Rowlands has finally returned from his injury and will be in contention for a place on the bench for next weekend's game against Rhyl. The bad news, however, is that Alfie Carter was a bit careless in the weight lifting room and strained his wrist. That will leave him out of contention for as long as two weeks. Fortunately Tom is back from his spell in the physioroom. Aneurin Evans returned to training last Thursday after his spell in the physioroom and will be on the bench I reckon. We need his calming presence in the dressing room before games.

Monday 17th April 2006
Troy is back in full training and I have no qualms about sending him straight into the starting lineup for next weekend's game against Rhyl. The other's haven't convinced me that they deserve a place in front of him, so he's playing. I'll probably have to withdraw him from the game before a full hour has passed, but that's alright, he'll hopefully secure 3 points before that time comes around.

Tuesday 18th April 2006
Mazzarella returned to training today. Finally I have some competition for places in the team, as the lads are growing tired after the busy season. I just hope we don't have to suffer any more injuries before the end of season, because we've had to suffer a lot this year.

Wednesday 19th April 2006
Paddy Crowley returned to training after his spell off. Seems like everybody is returning to action at just the right time of the season. The only player still on the injury list for us is Alfie, but he'll hopefully return soon.

Rhyl v. Cefn Druids
We pulled off yet another win against a poor Rhyl side in this match. Troy justified my selecting him after all of 20 seconds of the game, with a great goal. The rest of the half was a bit topsy turfy, but we held the 1-0 lead at halftime. Tom and Troy suffered some knocks in the first half, so I didn't want to risk their health for too long in the second half, so I sent on Alex and Aneurin Evans in their places and switched to a very defensive looking 5-3-2 with an attacking mentality and a counter attacking gameplan. Within 5 minutes we got a penalty which Kelly converted emphatically and then we suffered yet another defensive lapse, when we conceded a soft goal near the end of the match. Aaron got injured a little bit after that, so we had to finish the game with 10 men, as I'd already finished off all my subs for the game.
Final Score: 1-2
Current League Position: 8th

I produced a crate of beer after the game, in the dressing room and told the guys that there were 2 for everyone, if they felt up to drinking them in celebration of this win. It was like throwing a bone to a dog, as they flocked around me, each demanding his share of the nectar. Even Aaron, who is going to be out for the next 2 months or so. Yet another victim of a broken rib. There was a lot of singing on the bus back to Cefn Mawr. The lads weren't drunk, just supremely happy. They'd just silenced all critics, who had predicted our demise and likely relegation this year.

Again the chairman has praised the way we're playing. And his happiness wasn't diminished when a reporter reminded him that we were on a 7 game unbeaten run and looked good for the rest of the season. He then pulled me to the side and asked me if I had done anything to break his daughter's heart. I told him that I hadn't. All I'd done was to tell her that if she was interested in taking our relationship to another level, she'd have to be absolutely certain of her mind and that she'd needed to take some time to think it over. I wasn't interested in hurting her at all, because I knew all too well how hurt like that can kill a person's will to live. If he wanted, he could take a message to her that I'd want to have a word with her in private, if she felt up to it. He looked me in the eye and then nodded. He'd do that and have a quiet word with the lass. She would have to learn to take on some responsibility from now on.

Our final game of the month is on a Friday night, so we'll have some time to play about at the weekend. But until then we'll train hard and then play as hard as ever.

Newtown v. Cefn Druids
That bloody reporter should have kept his mouth shut after our last game. Of course it jinxed us and cause us to lose by the odd goal. In the first half the team was very lacklustre, but an improved effort in the second half would have deserved a draw at least, especially after the home team had a player sent off on the hour. Unfortunately it wasn't to be so our 7 game unbeaten run has come to a close.
Final Score: 1-0
Current League Position: 8th

Brian called me after the game and told me that his daughter had called me a heartbreaking SOB, but he knew better and told her that she'd not exactly shown an exemplary behaviour when she strode off with that Italian bloke. At least she could have told either of us in advance, that she was going to leave the place. Then expecting to just walk into somebody's life was a bit grand. She nodded apparently and then decided that she'd give me an answer after the Cup Final. Well, that's just over a week away and I better get the lads ready to win that damn thing. It's eluded the club for 103 years. I really hope that the lass can get her head sorted, because she's not doing herself any favours by behaving like a rotten ****.

retired_aurie

May 2006
I got an offer for Lee Quilty for 3000 pounds, from Pontypridd. I decided to accept it, as he's just a burden on the wagebill. I also got the bad news that Aled Rowlands has a nasty hip problem and I decided, in light of the physio's report, to send him to a specialist.
I also threw down a glove in front of the Welshpool manager, by revealing a disappointment on drawing them in the Final of the Welsh Cup. I'm still waiting on a response.

I didn't have to wait long though, as the miserable git tried to claim that his side had the quality to win. I responded in kind and am supremely confident in our lads. We should really wipe the floor with them.

Welshpool Town v. Cefn Druids Welsh Cup Finals
I decided to take the team down to Cardiff a couple of days early, if only to help them shake off the greatest fear of the Millennium Stadium. “What we're about to do here guys, is enjoy ourselves. I don't really care how the game ends up, because I'm intent on making the most of the occasion. Now let's focus on the job at hand and whoop those guys' collective backsides.” With my teamtalk over, the lads cheered and the tension level in the dressing room got a bit lower. I made sure that everybody had their good luck charms with them and were using the best set of studs for the pitch. Now was the moment of truth. Were the lads up to the challenge?

What a game!!!
I expected excitement but this was beyond my wildest dreams. Troy got us one up after two and a half minutes. Mark Briggs levelled the game in the 30th minute and it was all square at halftime. I told the lads that we only need one goal and they should be able to get that. Unfortunately Aiden Shannon decided the throw a spanner in the works and scored for Welshpool Town. Immediately I sent on Graydon and Mazzarella for Ramasut and Taylor and then I decided to change the goalie as well, so Evans came on for Mackin. Graydon showed the perfect thanking performance and scored our second in the 79th minute. Some heartstopping moments until Brian Lawlor blew for full time in normal time. It took all of 12 minutes in the first half of extra time before any chances came along and the first came to Troy. He thumped the ball emphatically into the net and two minutes later, Mazzarella repeated that feat, so we were suddenly two goals up with 15 minutes to play. Full credit to Welshpool, as they came back firing on all cylinders and pressured us for the entire second half of extra time. My defence held up until the final minute, when Shannon turned Marvin Arthur inside out and slotted the ball home for his team. Unfortunately for them, there wasn't enough time to do anymore damage. For the first time in 103 years, Cefn Druids had won the Welsh Cup.

Brian Mackie came into the dressing room after the game and went around 'high five'-ing every member of the team and really showing how enthusiastic and happy he was for the team. “I hadn't dreamed of this being possible at the start of season, but thanks to the manager and you lot, we have the cup after 103 years of it never even giving our players a sniff. Now it's here and I want to thank all of you for this. Next weekend, after the season is over, I want every single player to come to my house and we'll have a party to end all parties. Beverages on me!”
After that short and to the point speech, the dressing room raptured into whistles and applause. There was nothing they liked more than free drinks and now they knew they had earned it for real. We stayed in the hotel until the following morning and took the bus back up to Cefn Mawrs. It goes without saying that the lads got the next two days off from training. I trust them to be in the right frame of mind before the final league game on Wednesday.

I had just kicked off my shoes and sat down on my hotel bed when there was a light knock on the door. I was surprised, because I wasn't expecting anybody at this hour. I stood up and went to the door. I looked out the peephole, but couldn't see anybody there. So either the person knocking was gone, or he/she was rather vertically challenged. With that assumption made, I opened the door. First off I didn't see anybody out there, but then somebody twisted around from the left of the door and jumped me, kissing me like mad. I did the only thing I possibly could, fell on my backside and then saw that the person responsible for my fall was Tonya.
“I love you, you crazy viking goof” she exclaimed. I was having serious trouble breathing, due to the hard fall and the extra weight lying on top of me. Needless to say, I was quite happy with the way things were turning out. A second prize being won within the same day.
When I woke up at around 9am the next morning, I stood over the bed watching the beautiful young lady lying in bed. I knew right there and then that I'd have to crash onto my kneecaps and propose to her. Anybody who decided to do as much soulsearching as she had just done deserved nothing less. I thought that I'd give it a while and then surprise the hell out of her

Cefn Druids v. Cwmbran
This turned out to be quite an easy game, as we dominated it from start to finish and Cwmbran never had a sniff. Ramasut got us going with a good goal in the 20th minute and then only 3 minutes later, Troy Hayder scored a goal that might be in contention for goal of the season. In the 43rd minute he added the third and the game was all but over. The second half was goalless and we ran out comfortable winners. At halftime we had made it up to the 7th place in the league. But Welshpool managed to win their final game and held onto their one point advantage over us.
Final Score: 3-0
Final League Position: 8th

Saturday 13th May 2006
Troy Hayder is the man of the moment. He was chosen the player of the year in the Welsh Premiership, with Mark Hobson in the second place and Steve Hughes of Airbus UK in third. Additionally, Hayder got the award for being the top scorer in the division, with 35 goals to his name. He also added 12 goals in the 8 cup games we played, so he finished the season with 47 goals in all. Manager of the month was Ken McKenna from TNS, I was second and Deryn Brace of Haverfordwest County got third. All in all a highly successful season on all accounts, not to mention on the personal front.

The following Ancients players were selected in the team of the season:
Mark Hobson, Owain Whittaker and Troy Hayder were selected for the starting lineup and Aaron Broaders got to the bench.

The rest of the month will be spent resting the players and let them enjoy themselves until I start terrorising them again on July 17th.

Monday 29th May 2006
Today I offered Owain Whittaker a new professional contract, following TNS's attempt to buy him for some over the hills player and a smallish re-sale clause. He earned the offer anyway, as he's been a lynchpin in the team's midfield all season long. Owain took a couple of days to think it over and then he came to me and smiled from ear to ear. “I'm very happy to become a fulltime pro, boss. Working in an office all day isn't really my favourite thing and I can finally start focusing on my football”. “I'm very glad that you decided to take me up on this offer Owain, but just so you know it; TNS came in with an offer for you, but I rejected it offhand. You're too valuable for us and I want you to be the defensive general of the team for the next few years at least”. “Thanks boss, I'm not too interested in joining them anyway. There are no good pubs up in Llansantffraid anyway and I need the odd pint when there's a break in our playing schedule”, he said and winked. I chuckled and sent him back to his holiday. He's certainly earned it.