shannon2007

2006 Season - First Half

The Swedish season is quite short, only 22 games for this particular division. The football though is so laughably bad that 22 games is probably more than enough for the beleaguered supporters. With their new Portuguese manager in place, and a bunch of misfit players, it was hard for the fans of the newly promoted Saxemara IF to determine just how well their team would do this season. Should they be preparing for a glorious championi party, or should they be digging out the helmets for an ardous relegation battle.

Preseason games don't really mean much, and that is perhaps just as well for the fans of Saxemara, although to be fair the opposition was a little bit superior in general. The first match saw the visit of Swedish Premiership outfit Gefle, and this proved to be as tough a match as you would expect and in the end the four to nil scoreline for the visitors was flattering to Clemente's team and they could at least have some relief to know they hadn't overly embarrased themselves in front of the massive crowd of a whole 61 people. The second match was against First Division Elite side Vasteras SK and Saxemara did have the audicity to take the lead against their higher division opponents, only to to end up on the wrong end of a 6-2 hammering. The final warm up match saw Clemente's side run out against an XI composed of anyone who turned up out of the 100 crowd and there was little to get excited about here as the makeshift opposition held the Saxemara side to a 1-1 draw.

The League, and Clemente's career, started in earnest at home to VMS IK, but after an ok first half, the visitors ran riot in the second forty five and were unluckly to only run out three nil winners. The pattern of this first eleven matches was to be set in the second game as Magnus Eriksson and Asgeir Fridjonsson showed their worth to the side as a brace from Eriksson and single from Fridjonsson saw Saxemara run out narrow three two winners away to Robertsfors on a freezing cold day, and an icy pitch.

It was Fridjonsson who was the hero again with a brace at home to ystads IF, as Oskar Strom's rashness came to the surface and saw him redcarded on only the 34th minutes. A decent enough two nil win then with the handicap of ten men. Laholm were match number three, and the bookies odds for a Saxemara win were 1/33, which meant all they had to do was turn up really. Laholm had other ideas though and left with a convincing 2-0 win, and some very rich fans. A great unbeaten four match run was then put in place, with wins over Hogaborg (2-1) and a quite superb 4-0 drubbing of IFK Malmo, and draws with Helsingborg Sodra (3-3) and a respectable 1-1 draw away to Lund.

The run was ended by a 1-0 loss to Karlskrona, before the first half of the season was played out to a 1-1 draw with Varnamo and a 5-2 drubbing of Bollstanas. A fairly decent first half of the season, as Clemente sees his Saxemara side lie a highly respectable 5th place in the table, only four points adrift of the top spot and six clear of relegation. It could go either way, but there is one consolation. The Saxemara players may be utter crap, but the opposition aren't really all that much better!

shannon2007

The club President was, as you might expect, very pleased with what Clemente had achieved so far. If he could keep things on an even keel and maintain the league form, then the President promised that by the end of the season Clemente would have a brand spaking new apartment to move into. Meanwhile, he was sure Clemente was coping fine in his lovely caravan, wasn't he?

Clemente was coping, just about. Actually, despite the living conditions, he was quite enjoying this job. Sure, it wasn't making him the richest person in the world, and sure he wasn't living in the best of standards and when it rained he had to put plastic bin bags on the seats and wear his raincoat, but it was surely better than living a mundane life doing a mundane job in a mundane city. And, despite all his previous doubts, he was finding he was actually quite good at this job. Or so it seemed.

To be sure the outstanding performers from the first half of the season had been, as expected, Asgeir Fridjonsson and Magnus Eriksson. They had both been outstanding up front, providing 17 of the clubs 21 league goals to date between them - nine for Asgeir and eight for Magnus - a feat which left Saxemara as the top scoring club in the division. The defence though, which had been pinpointed as the weakness, had lost sixteen goals and if they had been up to the task more it might well be that the club could be shock promotion contenders.

One other key factor in the clubs success todate had been the rather surprising lack of injuries. Yet just when Clemente was reflecting on that, he was informed that Daniel Pintaric, who had been playing quite well wide right, would be out for two weeks. This was significant, because no-one else could play this role. There was also the small problem of a handful of players who had become moaners because they weren't getting a game. The fact that they simply weren't good enough to get a regular start, even for this side, hadn't put them off thinking they should be playing. Clemente though didn't care. They could moan all they wanted, they weren't getting a game or going anywhere until he decided. Of that he was 100% determined.

Financially though, the club was struggling. The average attendance of 229 simply wasn't enough to pay the bills, and as it stood the bank balance was nearly £40,000 in the red and could be expected to at least double by the end of the season. The team might well be doing the business on the park, but off the park might well have a much bigger bearing on the future of the club.

And for the future of Clemente Marito.

BarryLFC

Sverige \o/

shannon2007

'You're doing great' the club President informed Clemente as the second half of the season got underway, 'If you can just hold out a wee bit longer, we'll soon be able to find you decent accomodation. I'm working on it as we speak!'

And Clemente seriously hoped he was, because the roof had sprung a horrible leak - right above the fold down bed.

If off the park was a bit of a nightmare existance, on the park was proving not too bad. After a 1-0 loss at home to Robertsfors, six consecutive wins were strung together as Saxemara made an exciting push for a second successive promotion. The wins were impressive too, 4-1 victories over VMA IK and Laholm - debutant 17 year old striker Jacob Johnasson banging in all four against Laholm, replacing the injured Asgeir Fridjonsson - and Fridjonsson, the best player in the squad, delivered a devastating blow to the sides promotion hopes as he was ruled out for three months and his season was well and truly over. And when back up keeper Johan Lennartsson was also ruled out for the season, things were staring to look a little bit black.

Yet as injuries started to take effect, the results were unaffected. A 3-1 win over Hogaborg, followed by a narrow 2-1 triumph over Lund kept hopes alive and then a sensational match at home the Helsingborg Sodra, which eventually saw Saxemara run out 4-3 winners. And then it all went wrong.

Hopes of promotion were slim anyway, but woth four games to play there was still hope. Pretty soon though that went up in smoke with successive defeats to IFK Malmo, Karlskrona and Champions Varnamo. The final match of the seasonwas away to relegated Bollstanas, who had won only one match all season. For the host, this statistic would no change as Magnus Eriksson banged in a brace to confirm the three points and his own position as the clubs top scorer with eighteen goals from 21 starts. A tally that also made him the divisions top goal scorer.

The President was, of course, extremely pleased with the 4th place finish that win had given them and offered Clemente a new three year contract of £80 a week - £20 less than he was currently earning - Clemente was not amused and explained that unless the President gave him some more money he was leaving. Of course this was a bold, probably rash decision but in the end the President agreed to pay £100 a week and Clemente was happy.

A week later, Clemente came home from the pub to find the caravan gone. A quick, panicky phone call to club President Olaf Larsen was made, and Mr Larsen explained that due to the continuing financial pressures of the club - they were now nearly £80,000 in debt - they had had to sell the club caravan as Mr Larsen needed to pay the heating bill for the stadium. But not to worry, by the end of the month the President would have found Clemente somewhere to stay, that was a promise.

Clemente, by chance, jumped on a bus and ended up in Vaxjo, where he went into a pub and started to drink away his sorrows. As the night went on, he started chatting the bloke sitting next to him who just happened to be the manager of Tord, a side who had just been relegated from the Second Division MG. The pair comiserated with each other about their problems, and complained that it was probably because they weren't Swedes - the bloke sitting next to him was a Scot - 'Although I have taken out Swedish nationality' the bloke said, 'But you know what? I don't think its helped'

The pair ended the night and went their seperate ways, leaving contact numbers and it was only when he had gone that Clemente realised he had missed the last bus home - and then he realised he had no home. There was nothing else for it and he dialled the number given.

'Sure you can come stay in my hotel room' the Scot said, the hesistated a second 'You're not .... gay?'

Clemente didn't understand for a few seconds then hurriedly said, 'Of course not! I'm totally miserable!'

The taxi took a few minutes to arrive and a few minutes to get the drab hotel and Clemente cautiously made his was to room number 56a. He softly knocked the door, and the bloke from the pub opened it with a huge smile on his face, which quickly evaporated.

'Ah its you Clemente, I had forgotten. I thought I'd ordered a whore. Oh well do come in.'

'This is very kind of you Iain'

'Not at all, its the least I can do. After all, this might be the last chance we get to meet cos my team is sucky!'

There was just one thing puzzling Clemente as he closed the door to the room behind him.

'Erm Iain, if you're the manager of Tord - why exactly are you in Vaxjo?'

'Same reason as you mate' Iain said slowly, 'the same reason as you'

Clemente nodded.

shannon2007

Exactly why Iain Bartholomew had given up his lucrative job as a top lawyer in Ayrshire, Scotland, dumped his beautiful fianceé Wilma, left behind his doting parents and loving brother and moved all the way to Jonkopping in Sweden to manage Tord for a massive £20 a week, was anyone's guess. But then he does also support Ayr United, so......

Bartholomew had always stated that he wanted to go back to Sweden one day, having spent some time there as a studen and claiming, rather unbelievably, that everyone there liked him. So it wasn't really beyond the bounds of possibility the he would move there, one day. But to manage a useless little football club in the back of beyond on a wage that wouldn't even buy him five pints of beer? That was just insanity. And it wasn't even as if Bartholomew actually knew anything about football. After all, he also supports Ayr United.

As witnessed by the fact that Tord were relegated, Bartholomew was found out to be totally useless. Yet amazingly, he remained in the Tord job, and as he and Clemente Marito quietly snuck out the bathroom window of the hotel room in the early hours of the morning and went their seperate ways, Clemente informed his new friend that if he ever needed a job, just give him a call. Bartholomew swore he would, and off he dissapeared into the early Swedish dawn and the two's paths would never cross again.

Well, that wasn't quite true, because they did eventually arrange a friendly in March 2007, but thats hardly got much romance in it has it!

shannon2007

Swedish Second Division -South Gotaland
Final Positions 2006

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | C | Värnamo | | 22 | 16 | 3 | 3 | 40 | 14 | +26 | 51 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Karlskrona | | 22 | 14 | 4 | 4 | 52 | 26 | +26 | 46 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | IFK Malmö | | 22 | 12 | 4 | 6 | 29 | 22 | +7 | 40 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Saxemara | | 22 | 12 | 3 | 7 | 46 | 33 | +13 | 39 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Laholm | | 22 | 11 | 4 | 7 | 34 | 29 | +5 | 37 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Robertsfors | | 22 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 31 | 28 | +3 | 32 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Helsingborg Södra | | 22 | 9 | 3 | 10 | 26 | 27 | -1 | 30 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Lund | | 22 | 8 | 3 | 11 | 31 | 28 | +3 | 27 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Ystads IF | | 22 | 8 | 2 | 12 | 32 | 39 | -7 | 26 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | VMA IK | | 22 | 6 | 4 | 12 | 21 | 52 | -31 | 22 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | R | Högaborg | | 22 | 4 | 4 | 14 | 11 | 31 | -20 | 16 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | R | Bollstanäs | | 22 | 1 | 5 | 16 | 9 | 33 | -24 | 8 | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

retired_steffani

Solid opening season , for £20 a week you must do alot of shopping at Aldi

shannon2007

I'm on £100 a week, it's Iain whose on £20. So I can shop at Farmfoods.

(Iain is HD in case anyone here doesn't know that, he's clearly overrated himself in the game :p)

shannon2007

The long Swedish winter was, well, long actually. Life without football was not much fun as Clemente had moved into the public toilets that were situated on the high street, or as the call it in Sweden, the High Street. Shortly before the season began though, Clemente was hounded from his temporary abode by the local authorities who said it simply wasn't right that he should be living there. Gratiously, the Saxemara President allowed Clemente to move a large cardboard box onto the piece of land beside the stadium, promising that the housing situation would be resolved as soon as possible.

On the footballing side of things, season ticket sales reduced the club debt to a mere £65,000 by the time the season had started, and that figure also included a massive £12,000 raised in transfer fees. Whislt Bjorn Wikstrom moved to Linsdal for no fee, and Bosko Orovic was sacked for being rubbish, Josef Uren moved to Karlskrona for £1,000 and Johan Henriksson moved to Jonkoping Sodra for the same fee. It was Daniel Pintaric who brought in the bulk of the money, as he went to Qviding for £10,000. The President very generously allowed Clemente to have £2,000 for his transfer kitty, and Clemente very willingly spent it.

The new faces to bolster last seasons not quite so nearly men are - goalkeeper Viktor Hasslegren (22) on a free after leaving Kalmar AIK. Pretty useless to be honest but can keep the bench warm if nothing else. Defender Nicklas Chrsitiansen (18), comes in on a free from FC Trollhattan, but it can hardly be said he adds anything to the squad, being that he is absolute garbage. Right back Niklas Linner Jerreling (19) is also pretty rubbish, but at least he can tackle. It's pretty much all he can do though. Jerreling arrives from First Division Elite side, Oster for no fee.

Midfielder Michael Grims (19), comes in from Sparvagen for no fee. A decent enough passer of the ball, but thats about it really. Left back Jonas Blomqvist (21) also comes in from Oster for no fee, whilst defender come alleged midfielder Mattias Lindahl arrives from Lindome, also for, thats right, no fee. Then again, he is pretty woeful. A second Sparvagen player arrives in the shape of Haydar Al Saad (19), a midfielder who lives up to his rather apt name. He's a total fud.

Money was spent though, and 20 year old midfielder Niklas Thor became Clemente's most expensive ever signing as he joined up from Svenljunga for a massive fee of £1,000. Thor is a decent player, who should hold a place in the team and should be able to shine at this level. And finally, 30 year old right winger Mikael Thomasson arrives, also for a fee of £1,000, from Lindskal and those two players blow the whole of the transfer budget for the next ten years.

First Division South side Kristianstads FF were the first opponents of the season in a friendly, and a decent performance from Saxemara against allegedly better opposition as the match ended in a 2-2 draw. Iain Bartholomew brought his relegated Tord side down to play, and left wishing he hadn't bothered as Clemente's side walloped them 5-0, and finally a dull, boring scoreless draw against townspeople drawn in a lottery wrapped up the preseason and it was time once more to get down to the serious business, which this year would start with a Swedish Cup tie away to that well known side, Syrianska Kerburan.

shannon2007

The new season would start in earnest away to Syrianska Kerburan in the first round of the Swedish Cup. Two nil up through Magnus Eriksson after 35 minutes, it looked like life on easy street. By the 67th minute it was two all, Syrianska, albeit reduced to ten men, had a penalty and things were falling apart big time. Which would be the theme of the season ahead if truth be told. Bengtsson though brilliantly saved the spot kick, Eriksson completed his hattrick and seven minutes from time Jacob Johansson secured a place in the second round. It had certainly been an exciting, action packed match, that much was for sure anyway.

The second round match would be at home, to First Division Elite side Assyriska Foreningen Sodertalje and imagine fitting that onto a flag. This should, of course, be a much tougher match and sure enough only seven minutes had gone by the time Assyriska were two nil up and this was going to be a farce if the home players didnt get their fingers out their arses soon. Fortunately, the visitors were content to play around, until Magnus Eriksson fired in a goal eleven minutes from time, at which the visitors responded with another couple and Clemente's misfits had been well and truly humped out of the Cup.

The League campaign started well enough, a 1-1 draw with Laholm and hard fought 3-2 away win at Robertsfors as it looked like the side could build on what they achieved last season. A 2-1 home loss to MABI should have alerted someone to the fact that this team was seriously rubbish, but when Leikin were brushed aside with ease in a three to nil win, it was easy to forget the losses and think that things would all be hunky dorey. They wouldn't be.

Defeats away to VMA and Karlskrona saw the slide slipping out of contention for promotion, and despite a 2-1 win over Helsinborg Sodra, things simply got worse with a 3-1 loss to newly promoted Limhamn, and a 4-0 hammering from league leaders IFK Malmo. The first half of the season ended with a 1-1 draw at home to Ystads, but that could not disguise the fact that Clemente Marito's side were in dire trouble and only the fact that Leikin were so bad they only had one point at the half way stage and that VMA were also struggling, kept Saxemara out of the bottom two. This was going to be a season of utter misery though, unless Clemente could somehow perform a miracle.

But he wasn't God.