retired_amyslack

December 2005

“Marcel, my dear chap, do sit down. I know it’s a little early in the day but in the circumstances I think that a glass of champagne is in order.� The Southampton Chairman handed his caretaker manager a sparkling glass of chilled Moet. “Cheers and jolly well done on the Manager of the Month award old chap.�

“Cheers Rupert� Marcel replied, taking a generous slurp from his glass. “Ah, that’s a braw wee swallae ah huv tae say. Aye it wis nice enough getting’ the gong an a’ that, bit ah’m just as pleased tae see Leandre and Dexter get a wan-two wi’ the Young Player award.�

“Indeed, that was fabulous too. But really, five wins and a draw in seven league games this month – absolutely splendid.�

“Oh aye, nae mistake, that’s great form right enough. We’re hingin’ ontae second place oan goal difference ower the Wolves an’ that, so ah’m well chuffed. Mind you when we loast our first game o’ the month at Millwall ah wis a wee bit worried that les roues tombaient. Bit then we scored quatre withoot replay at Bradford City an’ that goat us back dans la cannelure so tae speak.�

“I see that a few more of the younger players have been sold on.�

“Aye, there wis nae hope o’ them makin’ it an’ we might as well take a wee bit cash and gie them a chance elsewhere. Ah wis dead pleased tae get Alan Hutton in oan loan frae Blackburn – he’s a quality right back ye ken. An’ you’ll see a few mair through the door next month as weel noo that the transfer windae is open.�

“As long as you don’t break the bank Marcel.�

“As if ah would Rupert! Ah’ll make like ah’ve goat longues poches et bras courts as my auld French Granny used tae say.�

retired_amyslack

January 2006

“Cheers Marcel.�

“Cheers Rupert.�

The Southampton Chairman and his temporary manager clinked glasses and sipped their chilled champagne with satisfaction. After a companionable silence it was Lowe who spoke next.

“Top of the table old chap – absolutely splendid.�

“Aye, it’s not too shabby tae be fair. The wins over West Ham and West Brom were key and tae be four points clear o’ the Wolves is bluidy marvellous.�

“And another great month in the awards – Pahars and Hutton winning the playing awards with your good self runner up in the Manager stakes. I have a feeling that we’re going to be drinking a lot more champagne before the season is over.�

“Now, now Rupert – dinnae you be too keen tae compter vos poulets. There’s a lot o’ fitba’ tae be played between now an’ the end o’ the season.�

“Of course old chap, of course. I don’t intend to tempt fate but I’m very optimistic, very optimistic indeed. Especially now that we have some welcome new faces in the squad.�

“Well two o’ them are youngsters an’ ah dinnae expect them tae be in the first team any time soon. Bit the likes o’ Joe Hammil an’ Scott Wilson should see some action. And of course Florent Balmont looks like a un bon milieu de terrain tae me.�

“I have to say that it was rather a shock when you sold Jelle Van Damme to PSG.�

“Aye, the fans wernie best pleased bit why turn doon a million quid when it comes knockin’ oan yer door. As my auld French Granny used tae say ye cannae regarder un cheval de cadeau dans la bouche.�

“Well I just hope that you will re-invest the money sensibly.�

“Of course Rupert, that goes without sayin’. That champagne that yer sae fond o’ isnae the only tasty thing to come oot o’ France ye ken. There’s a few braw fitb’a players there as weel.�

retired_amyslack

February 2006

“Runner up in the monthly awards again Marcel! I suppose it was that unlucky 1-0 defeat at Leicester that did for you.�

“Aye, we were up against an inspired goalie that day right enough. Still, we won oor ither four games nae problem.�

“If we continue this progress then we could be toasting promotion next month.�

“Oh we’ll be promoted, nae doot aboot that. Mibbe even as champions.�

“Well, we’re six points clear of Wolves so I suspect that the trip to Molineux at the start of April will be a title decider.�

“Mibbe, mibbe no. There’s a loat o’ fitba’ tae be played between now and then. Touch wood, we’ve been pretty lucky wi’ injuries recently but noo we’ve goat Pahars oot fer a game or two it could make a difference.�

“Alan Hutton has been superb at right back. That was an excellent loan deal Marcel.�

“He’s quality Rupert, nae doot. I fancy gettin’ him permanent if his team will listen tae offers. Quashie is key in the middle o’ the park though – he’s gonnae be oor joueur de la saison if the fans hiv goat any sense. We’re gonnae hiv to invest in strikers though ‘cause Pahars is aff tae the Hammers in the summer and ah dinae see Philips cuttin’ it in the Premiership.�

“We have Best and Blackstock – they are very promising aren’t they?�

“Aye, they’ve goat some potential bit ah’m no sure that they’ll fit intae my plans. Speakin’ o’ plans Rupert, I hivnae heard ye say much aboot yer manager search recently.�

“Marcel, you know as well as I do that the search is on indefinite hold. I’m of the opinion that we already have the man we need and I’m sure that my fellow Board members will agree with me at the end of the season.�

retired_amgine

Excellent so far.Bene reading it with enthuasim.I like the acent and the monthly updates:thup:

retired_amyslack

Thanks ntfc.

March 2006

The Southampton Chairman was in effusive mood when his caretaker manager walked into the Boardroom at the end of the month.

“Marcel old chap, absolutely fabulous month – 12 points clear with the title in the bag and a hat trick in the monthly awards with Quashie, Folly and your good self - fantastic achievement.�

“I dinnae ken aboot dans le sac but the Wolves collapse his no done us any herm, that’s fer sure.�

“Why are you so cagey Marcel? Surely you don’t believe that we can lose the title now?�

“Well as my auld French Granny used tae say, c'est un match entièrement vieux. Ye cannae make any assumptions but ah am very confident. If we dinnae lose to the Wolves tomorrow then ye can start plannin’ fer the championship party.�

“That’s not all I need to start planning for. We will need to start discussing a new contract for you before too long.�

“Aye, we need tae dae that right enough, bit ah think that kin wait until the end o’ the season. There’s nae rush bit it wid be good tae get it sorted before ah go aff on ma holidays.�

retired_amyslack

May 2006

“Right then Marcel, I’ve already signed on behalf of the club so I just need you to sign here…..and here……and finally here.�

The new Southampton manager did as he was requested and then handed the black Mont Blanc fountain pen back to his Chairman.

“There ye go Rupert, job done.�

“Congratulations on your appointment as our permanent manager and of course on closing out the season by winning the Championship title. A glass of champagne?�

“Forget the bluidy glass Rupert – just gie us the boattle!� his new manager responded with a grin.

[i]“What a wonderful end to the season Marcel. I have no idea what you said to the players after the 2-1 defeat at Wolves but it certainly worked wonders – six straight wins without conceding a goal!�

“Oh aye Rupert, that wis easily oor best run o’ the season. We wir scorin’ goals fer fun and even Antti goat in on the act at Crewe when his long clearance bounced straight ower ther goalies heid and intae the net – bluidy brilliant!�

“And well done on Manager of the Year too Marcel.�

“Cheers. Dinnae forget that Lundekvam, Quashie and Pahars were picked for the Championship select as weel.�

“I know. And with Paharsfinishing as the top scorer in the division I hope that allowing him to leave is the right decision.�

“Dinnae you worry aboot that – we’ll get better than him at this club afore too lang. Anyway, cheer yersel’ up wi a wee squint at this.� He handed his Chairman a folded newspaper and stabbed his finger at the exposed page.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Pos | Inf | Team | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | C | Southampton | 46 | 34 | 7 | 5 | 103 | 26 | +77 | 109 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | P | Wolves | 46 | 28 | 9 | 9 | 84 | 45 | +39 | 93 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | West Brom | 46 | 25 | 13 | 8 | 88 | 44 | +44 | 88 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Preston | 46 | 26 | 7 | 13 | 64 | 47 | +17 | 85 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | P | West Ham | 46 | 23 | 9 | 14 | 72 | 57 | +15 | 78 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Leicester | 46 | 20 | 12 | 14 | 68 | 52 | +16 | 72 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Crystal Palace | 46 | 20 | 12 | 14 | 75 | 65 | +10 | 72 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Millwall | 46 | 18 | 16 | 12 | 47 | 38 | +9 | 70 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Q.P.R. | 46 | 20 | 10 | 16 | 63 | 58 | +5 | 70 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Bristol C | 46 | 20 | 8 | 18 | 74 | 72 | +2 | 68 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Stoke | 46 | 18 | 13 | 15 | 64 | 59 | +5 | 67 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Ipswich | 46 | 19 | 10 | 17 | 63 | 70 | -7 | 67 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Derby | 46 | 17 | 8 | 21 | 58 | 55 | +3 | 59 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Sunderland | 46 | 15 | 13 | 18 | 49 | 56 | -7 | 58 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Nottm Forest | 46 | 14 | 12 | 20 | 51 | 53 | -2 | 54 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Coventry | 46 | 13 | 15 | 18 | 60 | 68 | -8 | 54 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Cardiff | 46 | 14 | 11 | 21 | 60 | 73 | -13 | 53 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Reading | 46 | 13 | 14 | 19 | 52 | 66 | -14 | 53 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Plymouth | 46 | 15 | 7 | 24 | 58 | 77 | -19 | 52 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Watford | 46 | 13 | 13 | 20 | 57 | 77 | -20 | 52 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Bradford City | 46 | 9 | 15 | 22 | 53 | 92 | -39 | 42 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | R | Brighton | 46 | 10 | 9 | 27 | 41 | 73 | -32 | 39 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | R | Crewe | 46 | 8 | 13 | 25 | 44 | 77 | -33 | 37 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | R | Colchester | 46 | 6 | 12 | 28 | 38 | 86 | -48 | 30 | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>Whilst his Chairman was relishing the reminder of a top place finish, Marcel continued. “Anyway Rupert, ah cannae sit here aw day crowin’ aboot how great we are. Ah’ve goat some work tae dae afore ah go on ma hoalidays. Noo dinnae forget that we’ve goat tae agree the finances fer next season before the transfer windae opens in July.�

“Of course Marcel, of course. Well you have a good holiday and I’ll see you in a few weeks and we can hammer out the details.�

retired_amyslack

July 2006

It had been a busy summer for Southampton manager Marcel McPherson as he oversaw some very significant changes to his playing staff. A whole host of players departed including Anders Svensson, Marian Pahars, Matthew Oakley, David Prutton, Darren Kenton and Dexter Blackstock. Not many went for a fee but in total the club brought in over £2.5M and as agreed with the Chairman this went straight to his manager’s war chest. Fabrice Fernandes, or “the ungrateful wee busturd� as Marcel referred to him, also departed after refusing all offers of a contract renewal.

By month end the first team squad had been transformed with all 25 players coming from either Scotland (16) or France (9). Just over £3M had been spent on transfers and with the likes of Phillips, Lundekvam, Delap and Niemi all up for sale the manager was hopeful of boosting his transfer kitty further. As the team prepared for the season opener at Newcastle the manager shared his thoughts on the squad with his backroom team.

“Ah’ll tell yae whit boys, ah’m dead chuffed wi’ how things have moved oan ower the summer an’ ah think we’ve goat a bluidy good squad noo, although we could maybe still dae mare aboot the goalies. We’ve goat Iain Turner in frae Everton fur the season bit it’s a bit risky hivin’ a 22-year-old as yer furst choice entre les batons. Fer backup we’ve goat young Johnny Placide – he only coast £20K last season an’ he’s gonnae be un guardien de but merveilleux un jour. Oor startin’ right back is Alan Hutton – he wis fantastique on loan last season an’ at £1.3M frae Blackburn he wis a right good buy. Scott Wilson and Paul Telfer are the obvious backups so we’re OK there. Left back is gonnae be a battle between Steven Hammell, a snip at £250K frae Motherwell, and young Olivier Veigneau, as nice a freebie as ye could hope fer. In the middle o’ the defence we kin choose frae Andy Webster who did all right last year an’ the new boys Philippe Christanval, Gary Caldwell, Steven Pele and Patrick Scullion.

Midfield noo. The anchor should be Yoann Folly wi’ Michael Stewart an’ Florent Blamont challengin’ although Scullion and Caldwell can both play there as weel. Quashie is still the main man as oor playmaker but wee Billy Reid should see some action there as weel. That wis a good deal wi’ Clyde last year and ah fancy he’ll be un Ã* observer. As far as wide players are concerned then we’re lookin’ at Joe Hamill tae really make an impression. Considerin’ that he coast us jist £275K frae Hearts he’s gonnae be une vraie affaire. Leandre Griffit and Neil McCann showed whit they kin dae last year and noo that we’ve moved Sebastian Wallis-Taylor frae the reserves we’ve goat some coverage.

We’re no’ quite sae well served in attack. Mark Burchill hasnae exactly placer le monde sur le feu so here’s hopin’ that Antoine Sibierski an’ Derek Riordan kin step up. Wi’ young Ross McCormack in on loan frae Rangers we’ve goat some backup bit we could dae wi anither striker tae be honest. Ah’ dinnae see any real reason tae move away frae the quatre-quarte-deux that we used last year an’ most o’ the new lads are familiar wi’ that basic shape anyways. We’ve goat a pretty young squad an’ that’s always a risk bit if we kin éviter la baisse this season then we’ve goat a great platform tae build oan fer the future.�

retired_swmchick2006

:thup:

Yes! I'm so chuffing pleased that this thread still lives!