retired_teju

The visitors were in 14th, and were supposed to be easy meat, but things didn’t turn out that way. In an entirely forgettable 1st half, we went behind after 38 minutes, Stephen McPhail a very effective player at this level, bashed in a free kick from just outside the box. I wasn’t at all happy in the dressing room, and sent the players back out with a flea in their ear.

We continued to press, yet our pattern of play was scrappy. It was a scrappy piece of play though that eventually led to an equalizer. Following an aimless game of head tennis, sub Jack Lester got hold of the ball and passed to Tyson to put us back on level terms. For some reason, I knew we wouldn’t get a winner. There was little else of note to report, and it was a disappointing result and performance.

Forest 1-1 Barnsley Att: 19676

Worse than that tripe, Blackstock and Commons had both picked up injuries, and would be out for 1-2 weeks.

They wouldn’t be back in time for Saturday’s game away to Chesterfield. Halfredsson and Holt replaced them, and fortunately for us Pedersen was back between the sticks.
The first period wasn’t in danger of entertaining anyone. We had the better of things, though I could see quite clearly now that we’re out of form. Passes are going astray, and few chances are being created, despite plenty of possession.

A half-time bollocking did little to remedy matters. Worse was to follow. After a comical “after you…no after you” piece of defending, their striker was given a clear run on goal to score a totally undeserved 92nd minute winner.

Chesterfield 1-0 Forest Att: 8925

Even by my standards, I put on a real performance in the dressing room afterwards. I called them all sorts of names and then said I was going home. Not to Nottingham, but back to Sevenoaks. I put Frank in charge of the midweek game against Northampton in the LDV saying I was so angry I didn’t want to see these players again for another week. Careers were on the line, I ranted, and I wouldn’t tolerate people wiping their arse on the club I loved. The reaction from the players was one of shock, which was what I intended, though Frank seemed secretly pleased.

Hiring a car in Chesterfield wasn’t an easy proposition, though I managed to find a place at the local railway station with some help from the chairman of their club, who saw me stalking up to the bar with a face like thunder. Driving south at around 6pm, I heard an interview with Ian Breckin on BBC Radio Derbyshire, who stood up and took responsibility for our crap performance as captain, and hinted at the blind fury I displayed in the dressing room afterwards. The guy wasn’t an elegant or classy ball player, not really my type in a way. But by God he was a leader, and a mighty effective player at this level.

Two hours later, I was marooned on the M25. I gave Hansen a call, and sure enough he was in London to record Match of The Day. He was easily tempted of course, and I picked him up at the railway station later on, in preparation for a night of debauchery. I would have got Ray Stubbs along as well, but he was still up north presenting the climax of the snooker that weekend.

We headed out to a few of the local nightclubs. Alan was trying to goad me into some skirt chasing, and was baffled as to why I was limiting myself to just booze.

”That’s why,” I said, showing him a picture of Jenny."
”F***ing hell!” he panted. ”Look at the lungs on that. Great looking too.”
”Exactly. In the last few months, I’ve had more rides than Lester Piggott. I’m just going to get smashed tonight, and leave these dirty tarts alone.”
“She must be awful good then. That’s all I can say. I’m still going to chase a bit.”
“Be my guest.”

A few hours later, Alan arrived at my place with his female companion for the evening. I stayed downstairs and drank as much as I possibly could. I woke up at about 2 in the afternoon on Sunday, and the pair of them were still there, canoodling in my kitchen.

”I can smell bacon and eggs,” I said. ”Any chance there love?”

His bird didn’t look too pleased to be interrupted, but this was my house, and if she wanted to hang around, that was the least she could do. I finally got rid of them about 4pm, and spent the next day or two farting around the house, doing a reasonable amount of drinking. Nigel knew I wouldn’t be back at the club until later in the week, and while he wasn’t best pleased, that was his problem.

We went down 1-0 to Northampton with a team full of reserves. That was a matter of complete disinterest to me though. I traveled up on Friday morning to get the lads ready for Saturday’s home game with Bradford, and to spend Friday evening re-acquainting myself with Jenny and her phenomenal “lungs” as Hansen had so eloquently described them.

Padula was back for this game, which was nice, yet it didn’t improve our lackluster play in the first half. I took it easy on the lads and just told them to keep plugging away. Time was running out in the 2nd half, and it was getting extremely frustrating, not least for the crowd, who were making their anxiety over recent results and performances very plain.

With 20 minutes left, sub Ross Gardener played a nice ball through to Tyson, so often our Mr Reliable, and he got us the winner. A crucial goal, that seemed to lift the weight of the world off our shoulders. A vital win.

Forest 1-0 Bradford Att: 19937

October’s last engagement on the 29th brought us right back down to earth. A visit to Oldham didn’t look too terrifying, yet last time we went there in the League Cup, we were very fortunate to come away with a 1-0 win. We were in trouble right from the start in this one, conceding two goals early on and never looking in it. It was a dreadful performance, and it was obvious that we were still way out of form. Things would have to be seriously looked at.

Oldham 2-0 Forest Att: 7037

The board are still upbeat about my managerial performance, and even more so about the 82K profit for the month.

retired_teju

The first item on my agenda for change involved selling Paul Gerrard to Brighton for 70k in January. The lad accepted he was second choice behind our Norwegian stopper. He was out of contract at the end of the season though, and I didn’t want him to walk for nothing. This way he also gets to establish himself as a number one again. There’s no hard feelings on either side really, although he’s not delighted to be leaving. No-one ever wants to leave Forest. Apart from Pierre van Hooijdonk.

On the 5th we play Southport at home in the FA Cup, and I trot out all the usual clichés about a cup run being great for morale at the club. In reality this is a side we should s**t on. I am also delighted to welcome Pedersen back into net.

Bopp got us underway after 20 minutes, heading in a regulation cross at the back post. We had to wait until just after the hour before Tyson was sent through and finished expertly. Straight away, Grant Holt got in on the act, finishing a Tyson cross. It was a dawdle really, we outshot them 23-0, winning a trip to Rushden in the next round.

Forest 3-0 Southport Att: 15016

Due to international call-ups, there was a 14 day break before our next fixture. I insisted that the lads trained for the few days after the last game, and before the next one. There was no way I was just going to let them p*** off and do whatever they want for 2 weeks. I, on the other hand, was under no such restrictions.

I went out to dinner with Jenny that evening, and whilst we didn’t exactly have a row, it was a little bit uncomfortable. She mentioned, not for the first time, that she thought it was time for me to be “more open” about our relationship. To introduce her more to people in my life, such as people at the club. In essence, she thought I had her in the closet to some extent.

I could understand that, though I protested that I was still paranoid about the whole News of The World fiasco. I was touchy about my private life at the best of times, since there were some relatively lurid things in the past that I didn’t want salivated over in the press. She wondered if I was just using this as a smokescreen.

”What’s so terrible about having a girlfriend that you wouldn’t want that in the press?” she asked.
“Look, you’re right. And if anyone comes to this table that I know and asks who you are, I’ll say ‘that’s my girlfriend’. But let’s just not go too fast. And it’s for your own protection as well that I’m keeping you out of the limelight. You’ll appreciate that some day I reckon.”

She still wasn’t satisfied, but we left it at that for now. Then, just as I was draining the 3rd bottle of wine, disaster struck. I was facing the door of the restaurant, and who should stride in like a great sexy colossus but Kelly Taylor, complete with some weedy looking fellow whom I took to be her boyfriend. Jenny noticed that my attention was drawn, and looked over to see who it was.

”That’s that girl from the BBC isn’t it?” she asked. ”Do you know her?”
“Uhh yes. I get interviewed by her regularly.”
“She’s gorgeous.”
“Mmm. Well, she’s also a journalist, so I hardly even notice that part,” I lied.
”Oh look, she’s seen you and she’s coming over!”
“Oh Christ!” I mumbled to myself.

Kelly arrived at the table and said hello, all with the slight undertone of “you bastard” in her face.

”How are you?” I stuttered.
”Good. We haven’t met,” she began to Jenny. ”I’m Kelly Taylor, I work with Regan occasionally for BBC Nottingham.”
“This is Jenny,” I interrupted. ”My friend…uhhh girlfriend.”
“Nice to meet you. This is Colin,” she said, indicating the weedy bloke. ”My…friend.”

I managed to keep the conversation mercifully short, and at least we had nearly finished dinner and were able to leave soon after. There followed not the greatest weekend I’d ever had. Jenny had the hump with me, and I wasn’t getting any. I sought refuge in my best friend, the bottle.

Proving the old maxim that it never rains but it pours, I was sitting in my office on Monday morning chatting with Frank over a scandalously early bottle of whisky, when a call came through. Of course it was Kelly. I rolled my eyes, and Frank took his cue to leave.

”I’m sorry about the other night,” I said.
”What for? She’s stunning by the way.”
“Funny, that’s what she said about you.”
“Oh really?”
“Yep. I told you my life was complicated.”
“That’s not what I called you about.”
“Oh.”
“Can we do an interview with you about the team?”
“Of course. Can I ask you a question first?”
“Yes.”
“Is that all too complicated for you?”
“I don’t know. But if it wasn’t complicated, nothing has changed from what we said before.”
“What about Colin?”
She laughed. ”There’s nothing going on there. We’re just friends, though he wants more.”

As it turned out, she wanted this interview for the turn of the year, which made me suspect that she had called up to talk about other things, in a roundabout way. In any case, I decided to take off for Sevenoaks on Tuesday, to clear my head of all this nonsense. I wanted to think about the football side of things. I had some videos of players to watch and scouting reports to read. One thing was for sure, we definitely needed reinforcements in January.

All time off passes far too quickly, and soon enough the 19th rolled around, and our date at home to Gillingham. Blackstock returned, yet we still played like total twonks, and ended up one down after a first half we were well in control of. I saved my Atilla The *** routine and concentrated on tactics and encouragement. Grant Holt came off the bench to win us a penalty with 20 minutes left, which Tyson duly scored. That was all she wrote. A crap performance, though at least we got something.

Forest 1-1 Gillingham Att: 19476

Between games, Thompson picked up a leg knock, and Cullip injured his shoulder doing weights, though these two weren’t exactly vital to us, and didn’t impact on selection for Saturday’s home game with Colchester.

Before the start, there was a rather theatrical staging on the pitch of Kris Commons signing a new 5 year contract worth 800K. I had decided to move after hearing a rumour that Sunderland were keen to sign him, and I wasn’t prepared to let that happen, at least not on terms unfavourable to us.

Holt started the game and won us a penalty for the second week running, again converted by Tyson. I went defensive/counter 23 minutes in, yet we still looked lively. 28 minutes in, Bopp knocked down a long crossfield ball, allowing Holt to unleash a clinical finish into the bottom corner. We cruised home against a rather inferior team, and I was satisfied that we at least played to our potential against a team we should be beating at home, or anywhere else for that matter.

Forest 2-0 Colchester Att: 19266

Shortly after that, Halfredsson’s loan spell finished and he returned to Spurs. I was underwhelmed by his play, though he didn’t get loads of chances. I did however think that Barry Fuller had done enough to have his loan extended by 3 months, the lad and his club both being happy to agree.

The 30th saw us in a tough away trip to 4th placed Swansea. I feared the worst when our old player Gareth Taylor blatantly fouled Wes Morgan on his way to scoring the opening goal, and got away with it. It was downhill from there, and we eventually lost 3-1, though this was in part due to me adopting a reckless all out attack approach, so convinced was I that this was not our day. I went bananas in the dressing room afterwards, and promised that people would be leaving us if things didn’t improve.

Swansea 3-1 Forest Att:14594

One thing was for sure, it was time for some tactical changes. I dropped the defensive midfielder approach, bringing Gardener into the centre of midfield. I also swapped Breckin and Morgan around at Frank’s suggestion, since they had been looking clumsy and ill at ease in recent games. James Perch had been concussed in the last game, and that was a blow we could have done without, though he’d only miss 1-2 weeks. In other news, the board reported their customary profit, in this case 65K

retired_teju

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | | Nottm Forest | | 20 | 12 | 3 | 5 | 28 | 18 | +10 | 39 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Bristol City | | 20 | 11 | 5 | 4 | 30 | 14 | +16 | 38 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Swansea | | 20 | 11 | 5 | 4 | 34 | 20 | +14 | 38 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Doncaster | | 20 | 11 | 5 | 4 | 37 | 26 | +11 | 38 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Chesterfield | | 20 | 9 | 7 | 4 | 23 | 16 | +7 | 34 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Blackpool | | 20 | 10 | 4 | 6 | 33 | 28 | +5 | 34 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Huddersfield | | 20 | 9 | 6 | 5 | 26 | 21 | +5 | 33 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Bradford | | 20 | 10 | 3 | 7 | 27 | 23 | +4 | 33 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Hartlepool | | 20 | 9 | 5 | 6 | 22 | 20 | +2 | 32 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Barnsley | | 20 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 26 | 24 | +2 | 29 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | S****horpe | | 20 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 21 | 21 | 0 | 29 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Brentford | | 20 | 9 | 2 | 9 | 26 | 27 | -1 | 29 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Walsall | | 20 | 5 | 10 | 5 | 20 | 20 | 0 | 25 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Southend | | 20 | 7 | 4 | 9 | 17 | 21 | -4 | 25 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Bournemouth | | 20 | 6 | 6 | 8 | 24 | 28 | -4 | 24 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Oldham | | 20 | 7 | 3 | 10 | 23 | 28 | -5 | 24 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | MK Dons | | 20 | 7 | 3 | 10 | 20 | 26 | -6 | 24 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Colchester | | 20 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 23 | 29 | -6 | 22 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Rotherham | | 20 | 6 | 3 | 11 | 16 | 25 | -9 | 21 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Gillingham | | 20 | 4 | 8 | 8 | 27 | 32 | -5 | 20 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Swindon | | 20 | 3 | 10 | 7 | 23 | 26 | -3 | 19 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Yeovil | | 20 | 2 | 10 | 8 | 22 | 28 | -6 | 16 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Tranmere | | 20 | 3 | 6 | 11 | 19 | 27 | -8 | 15 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | | Port Vale | | 20 | 4 | 3 | 13 | 16 | 35 | -19 | 15 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

It might seem like a little bit of an over-reaction to be going spare when a team is top of the league. However, we are treading water at the minute, and have all but blown a lead that once stood at 6 points. I am under no illusions that we need better players come January. Where the money is going to come from I haven't got a clue, since Nigel has made it crystal clear that it won't be coming from him.

retired_teju

3rd Dec I knew now that I had to focus on the football. This was a critical part of the season, both in terms of games and evaluation before the transfer window re-opened. Together it would make or break our season. Sitting in 1st place helped quite a bit, but when you are manager of such a turbulent club as this, you can never afford to be too comfortable in your position. It pays to be paranoid.

Rushden provided our opposition in the FA Cup, and we were slated as easy winners against a team from a lower division. Despite dominating the 1st half, we went in scoreless, and I had to implore the lads to be more ruthless. Still chances went begging, until the 79th minute, when Padula crossed, and after a near own goal, Bopp slotted home to finally give us the lead. It all looked very comfortable when they had a man sent off with 6 minutes left. There was still time for “the magic of the FA Cup”, which translates as “we get shafted for a goal with the last kick of the game”. I was of course livid with this, yet chose not to unveil my anger in the dressing room, since I was saving my bad cop routine for more important league games.

Rushden 1-1 Forest Att: 6406

I fully expected us to win the replay, and if we did, it turned out that the reward was a visit to Man United. Cha-ching!!

Four days later came a glamorous trip to S****horpe. I was fairly demanding of the players beforehand, and wouldn’t accept anything other than a win. They appeared to get the message. Blackstock and Holt combined nicely down the left, and the resulting cross was excellently fired in by Beaumont for a 34th minute lead. Three minutes later, Blackstock was left totally unattended in the penalty area, and could have lit a fag before smashing in a cracking, emphatic finish. It was no more than we deserved, and after carrying on in a similarly dominant vain second half, an easy 3 points came our way.

S****horpe 0-2 Forest Att: 9167

It was good to be back home for the Saturday game, especially since I felt that the visitors, Walsall, would provide few problems if we played to our potential, though that was always a big if. And yet, it looked like I was being afflicted by arrogance again. In a desperately poor 1st half we came under pressure and played very badly, though still managed to cling on to a 0-0 scoreline. The lads received the dressing room rocket they should have got at Rushden, and then some. This time it did engender some sort of reaction.

Fuller intercepted a ball in midfield when we were under the cosh, sending Tysoninto the clear, and our top marksman finished easily, all this with just 8 minutes of this dreadful game to go. Instructing the lads to batten down the hatches, we actually ended up having several chances to finish them off without taking any. Holding on for the result was huge. It’s about time we diddled someone, since we’ve been on the receiving end a few times this year.

Forest 1-0 Walsall Att: 19015

According to sources in the dressing room, my team talk improved matters at half-time, which is nice to know they’re still listening to me now and then.

Glory be! I manage to tie up a few signings during the week, although they’re not exactly the type to send the fans delirious. MK Dons striker Serge Makofo joins us for 55K in January along with Crewe’s DRLC Paul Bignot for 40K. Both had been on loan at non-league sides and had prospered, impressed our scouts and fit in with our pitiful budget. I don’t think either will be competing for PFA Player of The Year any time soon, though I reckon they’ll be able to hack League One. To be honest, I reckon with a bit of fitness training, I could hack League One.

Midweek arrives, and with it our Cup replay. It’s an anti-climax for them this time, as goals in the first 20 minutes from Blackstock and Bopp set the platform for an entirely predictable win. Blackstock added another after 78, and we’re bound for Manchester in the next round and a date with a fat pile of cash.

Forest 3-0 Rushden Att:16674

Next day, I managed to tie up another signing. Ivica Mornar was unwanted by Portsmouth so I zoomed in and picked him up on a freebie, only till the end of the season, since I didn’t want to find out he’s a dud and be stuck with him for years. He agrees, pointing out that he’s made enough money in his career and now only wants first-team football.

We had another Saturday home game, this time against Doncaster. It was a lively 1st half, and some persistence down the left from Tyson allowed Holt a 1-on-1 with the keeper, which he duly converted. Any hopes of a comeback for them was squashed 4 minutes after the break, when Beaumont hammered a 20 yard free kick into the top corner, and we cruised home for the win. Nice performance against a potentially dangerous side.

Forest 2-0 Doncaster Att: 20417

Even better news comes through after the game. I have managed to offload Eugene Dadi to Bristol City for free in January. Good riddance, I won’t have to watch him sulking around the place, with a face like a sack of spanners. To hear him talk, he was Pele and Maradonna rolled into one. All I saw was a 32 year old journeyman striker.

Sunday’s newspapers contained totally unfounded stories linking Nathan Tyson to Rangers. Well at least it was totally unfounded from our end, they are apparently interested, according to what we hear on the grapevine. Frank and I agreed that I should comprehensively rubbish these reports in the media, which I do at every opportunity.

Next morning, Tyson turned up at my office, saying he “wants his future sorted out”. I sorted it out for him on the spot, telling him he wasn't going anywhere unless somebody paid 5 or 6 million quid for him. I see his future in the Premiership with this club, and until I say otherwise, that’s what will happen. He has the same agent as David Johnson, and that guy probably still has a flea in his ear from when he called me up the last time, which probably explains why it was left to the player to come into my office and talk about it. Either way, I don’t envisage too many problems with this one in the foreseeable future.

The next item in my in tray sees Danny Cullip flogged to Dunfermline for 100k. It was increasingly obvious to both club and player that it wasn’t panning out, and he didn’t object too much when he was informed of the decision. Nice lad, decent lower division player, but not in my plans.

Yet another home game for us on Boxing Day, before that though, I had the thorny problem of what my arrangements would be for Christmas. My parents and one of my brothers were in Canada, so that was a non-starter. My other brother and sister had families of their own, and there was no way they were going to horse over to Nottingham just to watch me getting drunk.

Jenny was going back to her parents in Stevenage. We were still an item, though she was not an easy touch at present, making herself exclusive in an effort to get me to “commit” more, as they say in yuppie speak. I suppose I could have gone with her, and “committed”. That would be kind of awkward though, and with me having to get back to Nottingham the same evening, it meant I couldn’t have a drink. The last thing I needed was to get a tug for drunk driving. The newspapers, especially The News of The World would just love that.

I was sitting in my office on a dark and windswept Christmas Eve about 4:30 in the afternoon. Everyone had gone home for the holidays, and I was drinking beer and feeling sorry for myself. My reverie was interrupted by a commotion in the outer office, and I just had time to slip my pint into the drawer before Nigel burst in, as was his custom.

”Hello there!” he chirped. ”Merry Christmas!...Jesus, it stinks of booze in here.”
“Uhh…yeah, we were having a little party in here for the office staff.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize any of them were drinkers.”
“Erm…well you know, it’s Christmas and all that.”
“Yes I understand. Where are you spending Christmas then?”
“Just at home.”
He squinted suspiciously. ”Don’t get into any trouble.”
“Nigel, you’re my employer, not my Father.”
“Yes thank God. But just remember, you’re representing this club at all times. Merry Christmas, and good night.”.

I sat there until about 7 that evening. On a whim, and slightly pie-eyed, I decided to call Kelly on her mobile phone. She answered, and in the background I could hear the unmistakable sounds of forced enjoyment at an office Christmas party.

”Do you want an exclusive?” I asked.
She laughed. ”You’re not resigning are you?”
“No, but I’m spending Christmas by myself eating fish fingers.”
“Really?”
“I’m afraid it’s true…well not the bit about the fish fingers. I wouldn’t miss my Christmas turkey for any c**t. Only problem is I don’t know how to cook the bloody thing.”
She laughed out loud again. ”Well I’m not doing anything for Christmas, why don’t I come round and help you cook it?”
My heart leapt excitedly [i]”Aren’t you going to your parents?”
“They live abroad.”
“Mine too.”
“Where’s that gorgeous girlfriend of yours?”
“At her parents. It doesn’t matter anyway. She's got the hump with me at the minute because I won’t marry her.”
“Oh dear. You are in need of feminine company aren’t you?”
“Yes. I’m picky mind you. You’ll do nicely though.”
She laughed again, and I wondered if she was within my grasp. If not, she was the biggest f***ing tease in history.

Christmas day was very agreeable. A wonderful Christmas dinner, a few glasses of wine and lots of interesting small-talk. I’ll spare you the gory details, but I finally cracked the case, and couldn’t stop smiling the next day. I knew I was a dirty, no-good swine, but there you go.

”What are you smiling about?” Frank asked me in the office.
”Just had a nice Christmas. How about yours?”
“Yeah good. You’re walking around here like you just shagged Raquel Welch.”
“You’re showing your age Frank. Raquel Welch is old enough to be my Mother.”

“What are you smiling about Robbo?” Ian Breckin asked me when I got down to the dressing room.
“Why does everybody keep f***ing asking me that?! Am I not allowed to smile or something?”
“Yeah, but you’re usually a cantankerous f***er,” he replied, to a big laugh from the rest of the dressing room.

The lads went out totally relaxed that day, for the visit of Rotherham. Young Beaumont hit the bar after 2 minutes, from a corner routine where it was passed to him on the edge of the box. They fell for the same routine 2 minutes later, and this time he didn’t miss. Everything was going our way now, and on 41 minutes, Commons attempted a cross, miscued it, and watched it fly straight into the net. I didn’t need much of a team talk at half-time, and just concentrated on keeping the lads loose. Holt put the icing on the cake with 10 minutes left, heading in a corner, then added another after a total defensive balls-up allowed him a simple tap in with 3 minutes remaining. I told the lads they were sensational, and that they won’t get that smile of my face for a few days yet. Good times at the moment in this dressing room, let’s hope it continues.

Forest 4-0 Rotherham Att: 19179

I’m still feeling flippant the next day, and sign striker Patrick Agyemang on a free transfer from Preston, to arrive in January. This guy was kind of a fallback position, yet I decided to sign him anyway. He hasn’t exactly scored goals for fun in his career, though he still has time to develop. And I can never resist a freebie.

On the 28th we headed for Bournemouth, and that smile got well and truly wiped off my face. We got opened up like a tin of beans twice in the 1st half, and it went on just the same after half-time. Wes Morgan gave away a penalty on the hour, and ten minutes later Pedersen let in a 30 yard shot. The commentary team from BBC Radio Nottingham described it as “an abject second half”, and I had to agree with that. My comments to the players afterwards were rather more violently angry than that. It seems I let them get too comfortable after last week. I won’t make that mistake again.

Bournemouth 4-0 Forest Att: 6618

retired_teju

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | | Nottm Forest | | 25 | 16 | 3 | 6 | 37 | 22 | +15 | 51 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Bristol City | | 25 | 13 | 8 | 4 | 43 | 21 | +22 | 47 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Doncaster | | 25 | 12 | 7 | 6 | 43 | 34 | +9 | 43 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Swansea | | 25 | 11 | 8 | 6 | 41 | 30 | +11 | 41 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Chesterfield | | 25 | 11 | 8 | 6 | 31 | 25 | +6 | 41 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Huddersfield | | 25 | 11 | 8 | 6 | 34 | 29 | +5 | 41 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Bradford | | 25 | 12 | 4 | 9 | 35 | 29 | +6 | 40 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Brentford | | 25 | 12 | 3 | 10 | 41 | 37 | +4 | 39 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Blackpool | | 25 | 11 | 6 | 8 | 40 | 37 | +3 | 39 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Hartlepool | | 25 | 10 | 8 | 7 | 32 | 28 | +4 | 38 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Barnsley | | 25 | 10 | 6 | 9 | 33 | 37 | -4 | 36 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Walsall | | 25 | 8 | 11 | 6 | 26 | 23 | +3 | 35 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Bournemouth | | 25 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 32 | 31 | +1 | 34 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | S****horpe | | 25 | 9 | 6 | 10 | 25 | 33 | -8 | 33 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Swindon | | 25 | 7 | 10 | 8 | 34 | 30 | +4 | 31 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | MK Dons | | 25 | 9 | 3 | 13 | 26 | 34 | -8 | 30 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Southend | | 25 | 8 | 5 | 12 | 20 | 25 | -5 | 29 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Oldham | | 25 | 8 | 5 | 12 | 29 | 35 | -6 | 29 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Colchester | | 25 | 7 | 8 | 10 | 29 | 36 | -7 | 29 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Yeovil | | 25 | 5 | 10 | 10 | 32 | 34 | -2 | 25 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Gillingham | | 25 | 5 | 10 | 10 | 34 | 39 | -5 | 25 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Rotherham | | 25 | 7 | 3 | 15 | 20 | 37 | -17 | 24 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Tranmere | | 25 | 5 | 7 | 13 | 25 | 32 | -7 | 22 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | | Port Vale | | 25 | 5 | 4 | 16 | 22 | 46 | -24 | 19 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

We're still atop the league though never really comfortable as yet. we need to make our push, which hopefully will be a lot easier once we get our January signings in. Frank is endlessly pessimistic about our squad, which is only half true, so I am starting to wonder if he's totally on the ball half the time.

Authors note: Let me know if the whole Jenny/Kelly thing is working for the readers. It's a new deaparture for me, and romantic fiction is hardly my strongpoint. Also any advice on which bird they prefer would be nice, since I haven't the faintest idea how this part of the story is going to develop from day-to-day!

retired_teju

It’s time to oil the revolving doors at The City Ground, as the 1st January rolls around. Turner, Agyemang, and Mornar arrive, the latter speaking of his relief at the opportunity of resurrecting his career. Thompson, Gerrard, Cullip, and Dadi leave without comment, although I later see an article in which he boasts that he’ll have the fans at his new club “drooling over his ability”. Not likely.

I also have the bizarre experience of being interviewed by Kelly just a few short days after I’d finally bedded her. Both of us were pretending to be very professional, and due to busy schedules had not really spoken since Boxing Day. I trotted out all the usual stuff about “pleased with how things are going”, “not allowing complacency” etc. By the way she smiled I wondered if she thought there was a hidden meaning in what I was saying, regarding me and her, and maybe there was. I only got to speak to her briefly afterwards, and we agreed to talk soon, but there were other people around so it was a bit difficult. We had an insane schedule of games coming up, 3 in the next week, so there wouldn’t be any hanky panky for a while I reckoned.

The following evening, we made the long trip to Yeovil, who lay in 20th place, though were always a tough assignment due to the sheer arduousness of the trip. My anxieties were eased by a lively start and a 13th minute penalty, converted by Beaumont. Just before half time, Holt escaped down the right, and his cross was easily put in by Tyson. The home side scored a 20 yard free kick straight away, just to keep us on our toes, and that angered me in the dressing room. Just before the hour we took control, Commons crossed for Tyson to head in his second, then 5 minutes later, Commons added a “sublime” 30 yard free kick. It was a superb response after last week’s shambles, and I surprised the lads with a few crates of beer on the way home. They deserved it.

Yeovil 1-4 Forest Att: 6176

4th December Another signing. Former Brazilian international DM Doriva joins on a free transfer from Middlesbrough. He has quality in abundance, though at 33 I only feel good about offering a 6K/week deal till the end of the season. He does have ability to drool over, unlike that pretender moron I have just got rid of.

It’s too late for the new man to play any part in that night’s home game against Southend, though it turned out we didn’t need him. Bopp gave us an 8th minute start, and 1st half domination culminated in a lovely finish from Gardener, effectively sealing a game that was never really in doubt. It was a workmanlike performance. We did more than enough to win, and they offered absolutely nothing.

Forest 2-0 Southend Att: 18469

That straightforward win vaults us 10 points clear at the top with 5 wins out of 6. Unfortunately a few injuries came our way, Perch with a concussion and Padula with a heel problem, both of which had a duration of 1-2 weeks.

It was now time for the big one, a trip to Man United in the FA Cup on 3rd round Saturday. Despite being no lover of that club, it was a huge occasion and everyone was very excited about it. We had no realistic expectation of winning, though I managed to persuade Nigel to really give the players the red carpet treatment. Like any good hanger-on, he had decided to come as well, though I must say I hadn’t noticed him in the stands for the recent game at Yeovil.

We traveled down on the Thursday, trained on the pitch Friday morning, and drank in every last minute of a massive experience for everyone at the club. There was a lot of press attention which I had to shield the players from by doing all manner of interviews, and not just because of the side we were playing.

During my time as a BBC pundit, I had crossed swords with Alex Ferguson. I thought it was relatively mild criticism of his team on Match of The Day after they put in what I regarded as a "duff performance", but he was absolutely furious. He called me up and effed and blinded, and I effed and blinded back, which seemed to surprise him. There was some back and forth in the newspapers as well, though I ended the feud by hoping he had a successful season, and speaking of my admiration for his achievements as manager (which was a bit disingenuous but I had been warned by the BBC to cut it out).

Imagine my surprise when the irritable Scot welcomed me with a bear hug and an invitation into his office for a glass or two of whisky. We had a chat about the past, laughed about it in fact, and I joked about him taking it easy against us tomorrow and not embarrassing us. We finished that bottle of whisky, and I actually went back to the hotel slightly p***ed, to team up with Frank, for our traditional Friday night away game drink-up.

The atmosphere gave me goose bumps next morning, and the feeling that this was really the big time. An interview with my old mate Ray Stubbs on Football Focus got the juices flowing, so to speak, then before I knew it we were in the dressing room with half an hour to go before kick off. I told the lads to just enjoy it and feel no pressure. Be inspired.

It was a sloppy start, though surprisingly even, then a bombshell. Wes Brown made a wretched mistake allowing Grant Holt to surge into the box and score after 16 minutes. I shut up shop, and we were helped no end by them leaving out all but Rooney and Giggs of their top stars. That was a big mistake. We handled them till half-time quite easily and I just told the lads to keep it going. The crowd were on their backs now, and despite creating a few decent chances, we were still pretty solid. Even with just 20 minutes left I was still assuming it would be a draw, so much so that before I knew it, there were only seconds left and we were still in front. Expecting the usual “Old Trafford 10 minutes of injury time when they were behind” routine, the ref blew up almost straight away, and we had won at this fortress and knocked them out of the Cup. Everyone was going nuts around me, the fans and players were punching the air, yet I was just standing there. I couldn’t actually believe we’d done it. I shook hands with the Scotsman, who had a face like thunder, and wished him good luck together with thanks for treating us well. He grunted and disappeared.

Man United 0-1 Forest Att: 66186

I didn’t get to enjoy the dressing room much, as I spent the next hour or so in interviews and the press conference. By my side was the simpering, slimy presence of Nigel who had seen fit to mug in as much as he possibly could in our hour of glory. In keeping with his character, I assumed that he believed our success was entirely down to him. I made sure to praise United and Ferguson to the hilt, which got me a nice phone call from the Scot a few days later, when his post-humiliation rage had subsided.

When I finally got back to the dressing room, there was one more request for an interview. I stepped out into the corridor, and who should it be but Kelly!

”What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were covering this game?”
“I arrived last night,” she smiled. ”I had to wait to interview you until after all the big shots had finished.”
“Well, they’ve finished now, so I’m all yours.”
“Hmm. Ok.”

I didn’t have much new to say, giving essentially the same interview as before. The interesting bit came after, when she whispered her hotel and room number to me. Cynically, I went back in and told the lads they had the option of going home on the coach or staying in town for a few beers. I said I was staying because I had some “interviews and other stuff” to do, and no-one seemed unduly suspicious. With that, I headed for Kelly’s hotel like a rat up a drainpipe, and spent the evening in the saddle.

8th December The news next day was underwhelming. Frank called me, and after asking where I was, told me that Holt had damaged his ankle and Brecks had done his rib. They would be out for 2-4 weeks and 1-2 weeks respectively. Sunderland would be our opponents in the next round away from home, which was similarly underwhelming. Better news came in a phone call from Nigel who gloated that the club had profited to the tune of 1.1 million pounds from the tie. Predictably, none of it would be available for new players.

On Tuesday, I signed a new back up goalkeeper. Jorg Stiel had had a long career for the Swiss national team, and was retiring at the end of the season. He’d already been released from his club, but we managed to persuade him to come to us till the end of the season, with the possibility of a coaching position after that. A very capable back-up, who may actually be better than the number one.

11th December The games kept coming, this time at home to MK Dons. I went into this one in an angry mood, having rejected an insulting 180k offer for Wes Morgan from Rangers. Turner made his debut at centre back, and he had to earn his money after Tyson got sent off for elbowing in the 16th minute. Amazingly, we still managed to boss the game, which probably showed the calibre of the opposition more than anything else. Beaumont missed a penalty with 20 minutes left, and that’s it. In the dressing room afterwards I told Tyson he'd cost us 2 points and that he'd be getting a week’s fine. He moaned and I angrily shouted “do you want two f***ing weeks then?!”

Next morning I was sitting in my office, when a delegation of players arrived, including Pedersen, Beaumont, and Julian Bennet. They wanted to complain about the fine I handed out. Not only had they completely misjudged me, but also the foul mood I was still in after last night. I went bananas on them, threatening to fine and sell them too, and making some not to complimentary remarks about their technical shortcomings. I put a stop to the whole nonsense by gauldering, ”get the **** out of here, before I really lose my temper.”

Makofo and Bignot arrived that day after their loan spells finished, and the former turned up with a torn groin, making him unavailable for another couple of months. Bignot made the bench though, for the trip to 6th placed Brentford, with Doriva and Mornar in from the start. 90 seconds in Bopp gave us the lead, collecting his own rebound and tapping in. Beaumont missed another penalty after 11, though soon after Mornar’s shot was saved and tapped in by Blackstock. We controlled the game from start to finish and wasted a host of chances, yet we won 2-0, so I was happy.

Brentford 0-2 Forest Att:7304

Barry Fuller was no longer needed, so I terminated his loan and sent him back to Charlton with our thanks. On Tuesday and Wednesday I was delighted to get shot of Nicky Southall to Carlisle for free, and Jack Lester to Hartlepool for 50k, saving the club 250 grand a year in wages.

The full week’s break between matches really gave the lads a great opportunity to regroup, and they were champing at the bit when we entertained Huddersfield for Saturday’s game. Perchy, Padula and Brecks returned to strengthen us considerably, and we utterly dominated the first half, so much so that the commentators were asking “can Huddersfield weather the storm?” They did until the hour, when Perch’s long cross to the back post was expertly finished by Mornar, his first for the club. The visitors woke up a bit, yet we were good value for the win , and could, possibly should, have had about 5 before half-time.

Forest 1-0 Huddersfield Att: 26171

There was another 8 days till the cup tie visit to Sunderland, though this time the lay-off seemed to have left us drowsy. The home side battered us in the first half, and I counted our blessings to be 0-0 at half-time. A more defensive approach worked wonders, and we started hitting them on the counter, culminating in a deft flick from Mornar that sent Blackstock through to score with an inspired chip (69). With not long to go, they surged forward, only for us to catch them out again in a 3-on-none against their goalie. Agyemang was the Johnny-on-the-spot to tap into an empty net and send us into the 5th round with a totally undeserved win. Not that I lost any sleep over it.

Sunderland 0-2 Forest Att: 12462

Leeds travel to us in the next round, meaning a return to Forest for former boss Gary Megson. Everyone around the club is very excited by the cup run, but I honestly couldn’t give a fart, since promotion is what will get me a new contract, not a heroic failure in a cup semi final. To that end, I’m glad to get back to the league campaign.

League table to follow.

retired_teju

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | | Nottm Forest | | 30 | 20 | 4 | 6 | 46 | 23 | +23 | 64 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Bristol City | | 31 | 15 | 10 | 6 | 50 | 25 | +25 | 55 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Doncaster | | 31 | 14 | 9 | 8 | 52 | 44 | +8 | 51 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Bradford | | 31 | 14 | 6 | 11 | 42 | 36 | +6 | 48 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Brentford | | 31 | 14 | 5 | 12 | 48 | 43 | +5 | 47 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Blackpool | | 31 | 13 | 8 | 10 | 48 | 45 | +3 | 47 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Swansea | | 30 | 12 | 10 | 8 | 48 | 42 | +6 | 46 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Walsall | | 30 | 11 | 13 | 6 | 31 | 25 | +6 | 46 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Bournemouth | | 31 | 12 | 9 | 10 | 39 | 36 | +3 | 45 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | S****horpe | | 31 | 12 | 9 | 10 | 34 | 37 | -3 | 45 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Oldham | | 30 | 13 | 5 | 12 | 38 | 36 | +2 | 44 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Huddersfield | | 31 | 11 | 10 | 10 | 39 | 39 | 0 | 43 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Barnsley | | 31 | 12 | 7 | 12 | 40 | 45 | -5 | 43 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Chesterfield | | 31 | 11 | 9 | 11 | 35 | 37 | -2 | 42 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Swindon | | 31 | 8 | 14 | 9 | 40 | 37 | +3 | 38 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Hartlepool | | 30 | 10 | 8 | 12 | 34 | 36 | -2 | 38 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Colchester | | 30 | 9 | 11 | 10 | 35 | 39 | -4 | 38 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | MK Dons | | 31 | 10 | 7 | 14 | 34 | 41 | -7 | 37 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | Gillingham | | 31 | 8 | 12 | 11 | 47 | 45 | +2 | 36 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Southend | | 31 | 10 | 6 | 15 | 26 | 33 | -7 | 36 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Tranmere | | 31 | 8 | 8 | 15 | 35 | 41 | -6 | 32 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Rotherham | | 31 | 8 | 7 | 16 | 29 | 49 | -20 | 31 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Yeovil | | 31 | 6 | 10 | 15 | 38 | 50 | -12 | 28 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | | Port Vale | | 31 | 6 | 7 | 18 | 30 | 54 | -24 | 25 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>

More updates to follow hopefully today

retired_teju

On the first of the month we had a long trek to Hartlepool who are currently occupying 16th place in the table. We’re pretty hopeful of a result, provided the players didn’t start feeling suicidal after the endless coach ride up the motorway on Wednesday morning.

After a promising start, Doriva gave us the lead with a great 20 yard free-kick, his speciality. Our counter attack strategy completely blunted the home side, and although we wasted several opportunities to kill the game off, one goal was all it took. Now came the hard part – the coach trip back to Nottingham

Hartlepool 0-1 Forest Att: 5916

Just before the next game at home to 2nd placed Bristol City, some mixed news came in. Mornar was out 1-2 weeks with a wrist injury, after what was described as “over exerting” himself, which is the first time I have heard it called that. Perchy got a call up to the England U-21 squad, a not inconsiderable achievement for a lad at this level, and a hint at what I believe is the player’s huge potential.

A massive crowd was on hand for Saturday’s game, which was cagey in the first half, although we were clearly the more threatening. I was irritable, and told the lads they better buck up, otherwise missed chances would haunt us. Commons and Bopp looked a bit shocked when I subbed them in the dressing room, but I had no doubts. They’d played sh**e, and I didn’t mince words when they questioned the decision. One of the subs Bignot, lofted in a hopeful cross on 66 minutes, which Blackstock fought his way on to the end of, looping in a backheader to give us the lead. Pressure eased further with 10 minutes left, when they got a man quite rightly sent off. Yet we then had to sit through the spectacle of a quite unnecessary 5 minutes of injury time. Quite where the ref saw that I didn’t know, and I had a right go at him, effing and blinding about it anytime he got near the touchline. It was a sour note to end on, though we got the win and were good value for it.

Forest 1-0 Bristol City Att: 26671

Our lead had by now bloated to 15 points at the top. With a week till our next game, I escaped to Sevenoaks for a few days relaxation. I got pleasantly drunk and did absolutely nothing, especially not women chasing, since I’d had more sex in the last few months than I’d had hot dinners.

We left for an away game at Blackpool on Thursday at my instigation. I’d been there on holiday several times as a child, though in February it was about as exciting as Hartlepool had been the week before. Still, standing on the seafront watching murderously powerful waves smash off the Central Pier had a strange way of relaxing oneself, and I was able to spend some time contemplating matters of life and football.

I never thought the game against the 8th placed home side would be quite so relaxing, and they started well, forcing us to absorb pressure. We did however hit them regularly on the counter attack, wasting every single chance. I thought we’d cracked it in the 70th minute, when eventually Blacstock penetrated the wide right area, his searching cross clinically headed in by Holt. The lead lasted only 3 minutes, and the game petered out into a draw. I was a little disappointed not to hold on for the win, though essentially happy with both the point, and the seaside getaway.

Blackpool 1-1 Forest Att: 8885

A previously re-arranged game against Tranmere cropped up on Tuesday night. I’m not a huge fan of Scousers at the best of times, simply because I don’t believe in all that “chirpy Scouse scally” routine they put on whenever there’s a camera near them. So imagine my distaste when their manager Steve McMahon started mouthing off before the game, saying how he doesn’t want us getting promoted. I bit my lip until afterwards, hoping for my chance to give him both barrels.

In the end the lads partially disappointed me, although Blackstock gave us the lead after 15. The home side equalized on 28. I got furious because we dominated the game and should have ground them into the dust, even more so since Beaumont missed a 90th minute penalty that would have given us a thoroughly deserved win. I really ranted and raved afterwards, then headed out to give the press a good quote about McMahon, whose hand I didn’t shake at the end of the game. I tell the assembled journalists I just can’t stand him, he’s a big mouth, who was a crap player and an even worse manager. He should just shut up and get on with managing his team, because he didn’t seem to be doing a very good job of that at the minute.

The players loved it when they heard the quotes on the radio during the coach ride home. I felt a lot better for having said it, and by then managed to laugh about losing my temper. McMahon was still at it though, saying in response that he thought we weren’t good enough for the title. I immediately called a BBC Radio Nottingham phone in to respond, and questioned how he would know anything about titles, since all his teams spent their time in the relegation zone. The lads cheering on the coach caused a bit of feedback on the radio so I wrapped up the call, but I had made my point to that sad git.

We were back at home on Saturday the 18th for the cup tie against Leeds. Everyone was taking it really seriously, so I had to pretend to, when in fact I didn’t really give a s**t. We were badly outshot in the 1st half, though possession wise things were relatively even. I told the lads just to find a goal, and after a lot better effort Bopp robbed a defender and slipped in Tyson to give us the lead. I wasn’t surprised when they equalized with 10 minutes left, as it was actually what they deserved, and was not unhappy to take a replay at their place, since it would certainly be beneficial from a financial point of view.

Forest 1-1 Leeds Att: 18216

After a few complimentary scouting reports we sign young Scottish winger Robbie Foy from Liverpool on an end of season bosman for next year. He looks a decent acquisition.

Another Wednesday game as the fixtures still come thick and fast, this time at home to Swindon though the squad is certainly holding up well. On paper this should be a gimme, against a relegation threatened side, yet they gave us a four goal hammering in the return fixture, which I certainly haven’t forgotten. There was to be no sweet revenge though. We dominated the game, having two goals disallowed, yet all they did in the entire 90 minutes was get a dodgy penalty. We equalized towards the end (I can’t even remember who scored it), still it felt like a defeat not a draw. I was unbelievably livid throughout, and stormed out of The City Ground without talking to anyone, least of all the players, and went home to get drunk.

Forest 1-1 Swindon Att: 18869

Saturday would see the visit of Port Vale who were dead last in the league, and I was still seething from the previous game. I launched into a pre match dressing room tirade, telling the players there would be no excuses and that they better f***ing come off that pitch with 3 points, or not come back into the dressing room at all.

I got a response, in that we battered them all 1st half, but no opening goal. By now I had gotten so furious that I just stood in the dressing room swearing and literally snarling, leaving Frank to give some reasoned comment on the team’s performance. The players were looking at me as if I had lost my marbles, and maybe I had. I stood in the dugout with a face like thunder and watched the same show unfold in the 2nd half, and by 65 minutes I’d seen enough. I went all out attack with 3 strikers, and in the 80th minute Holt appeared unmarked on the back post to head us into the lead. There was another absurd amount of injury time, during which my rage boiled up again, but we held on for the 3 points.

I had calmed down in the dressing rooms, though still told the lads they were awful today, which was a bit harsh. For the second time running I f***ed off without speaking to reporters, including snubbing an interview request from Kelly, which I hope didn’t hurt her. I didn’t know why I was so cantankerous lately. Maybe I needed a shag, however Jenny was still in a huff with me, and I was a bit paranoid about spending too much time with Kelly. Perhaps this whole messy triangle was what was making me so ill-tempered.

Brecks was left to face the media, and apparently my explosion had been heard all the way down the dressing room corridor. In diplomatic style, he admitted that “tempers had frayed” throughout the game, and that I “hadn’t held back”.

Forest 1-0 Port Vale Att: 19872

With all my paranoia and bad temper, I was certainly surprised when the news came through on Monday morning that I had won Manager of The Month. It made me sit back and realize that we were in a pretty comfortable position, and more importantly that I had been a p***k lately. I went down to training and apologized to the players, which was very warmly received God bless them. I just explained by way of mitigation that I wanted high standards and to see the lads get the best out of themselves. Everyone left the meeting in a much better frame of mind. I also realized that I had to get my personal life in order…but HOW?? hint hint readers opinions would be much appreciated, should it be Jenny or Kelly or should I bury that storyline, go celibate and concentrate on the football?

retired_k923

Here's one vote for Kelly!

retired_teju

Thanks Ryan4Rovers, much appreciated, if that's the only vote I get then Kelly it will be...democracy in action! Here's the league table for the end of February.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | | Nottm Forest | | 36 | 23 | 7 | 6 | 52 | 26 | +26 | 76 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Doncaster | | 36 | 17 | 11 | 8 | 64 | 49 | +15 | 62 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Bristol City | | 36 | 16 | 12 | 8 | 55 | 32 | +23 | 60 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Brentford | | 36 | 17 | 6 | 13 | 59 | 50 | +9 | 57 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Swansea | | 36 | 15 | 11 | 10 | 55 | 48 | +7 | 56 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Bradford | | 36 | 16 | 6 | 14 | 48 | 43 | +5 | 54 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Huddersfield | | 36 | 14 | 11 | 11 | 48 | 43 | +5 | 53 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Walsall | | 36 | 13 | 14 | 9 | 37 | 35 | +2 | 53 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | S****horpe | | 36 | 14 | 11 | 11 | 42 | 43 | -1 | 53 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Barnsley | | 36 | 15 | 8 | 13 | 44 | 47 | -3 | 53 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Blackpool | | 36 | 13 | 12 | 11 | 55 | 53 | +2 | 51 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Oldham | | 36 | 15 | 6 | 15 | 47 | 46 | +1 | 51 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Bournemouth | | 36 | 13 | 11 | 12 | 47 | 49 | -2 | 50 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Chesterfield | | 36 | 13 | 9 | 14 | 42 | 45 | -3 | 48 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Colchester | | 36 | 11 | 13 | 12 | 45 | 49 | -4 | 46 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Hartlepool | | 36 | 12 | 9 | 15 | 39 | 41 | -2 | 45 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Southend | | 36 | 12 | 9 | 15 | 32 | 35 | -3 | 45 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | | Swindon | | 36 | 9 | 17 | 10 | 45 | 42 | +3 | 44 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | | MK Dons | | 36 | 12 | 7 | 17 | 40 | 50 | -10 | 43 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | | Gillingham | | 36 | 10 | 12 | 14 | 57 | 54 | +3 | 42 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 21st | | Tranmere | | 36 | 10 | 9 | 17 | 43 | 50 | -7 | 39 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 22nd | | Rotherham | | 36 | 9 | 9 | 18 | 34 | 57 | -23 | 36 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 23rd | | Yeovil | | 36 | 7 | 11 | 18 | 41 | 55 | -14 | 32 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 24th | | Port Vale | | 36 | 6 | 9 | 21 | 33 | 62 | -29 | 27 | | -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>