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Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me Flippers?
'Well' Raptor put down the newspaper and looked up at the computer screen as his mate 'spoke' again, 'I guess you are correct, this has been a pretty poor year for FMS, even if you did win another 17 awards'
FMS Legend Peacemaker 7 nodded in agreement from the other side of the ethernet. 'Its not that I'm not happy to taken my tally to 137 overall, its just that you know, being the only nominee in all 17 catergories is a tad predicatable these days. Theres just no-one who can write as good as me since Flipper died.'
Raptor sighed. 'I remember the good old days, when the likes of Gino and Bobbev and so many others whose names I forget. Was it Spav who was the gay or was that HD?'
'Not sure.' Peacemaker7 mused, 'I think it might have been Tork. Feck sake not Tork, Dork.'
'Nah it wasn't Tork or Dork, it was Terk he was called. He was fat for sure, but he wasn't gay. Least he rejected me that night in Amsterdam when I was drunk after that half pint of shandy.'
The two sat in silence for a few moments, reminiscing of times past.
'Bugger it' Raptor muttered, 'I'll need to look up the database.'
Five minutes passed then Raptor exclaimed, 'Ah it was Displaced Seagul. He was the gay, although he then pretended he wasn't. He was a right character wasn't he.'
Peacemaker7 nodded. 'You know it would be great to have the old gang back, to re-unite everyone again, to re-live the old days'
Raptor shook his head. 'You know what would be great? If we could actually assemble them as real people. If would turn them into a real football team, not just a bunch of losers sitting behind a pc monitor, jerking off and eating cheese sandwiches. '
Peacemaker7 laughed. 'That would be so cool. Its a pity they're all dead now, except Bobbev. Not a lot we can do.'
In the begining, God created the Heavens and the Earth. But something was missing, some people had been given the wrong talents and that had to be rectified. Peacemaker7 closed his eyes, thought about it, and hey presto it came to pass.
'Wow' He declared to no-one in particular, 'I really am God?'
'Looks like it' Raptor replied, 'I told you it was possible and now you've only gone and done it.'
'Thats superb' The Demi God beamed, 'Erm what is it that I've done exactly?'
'Look around you. This isn't Paisley mate, and its not Groningen.'
'Yer not wrong Rappy. I know you usually are, but this time kid, you're definately not wrong!'
The pair were standing outside a rather quaint little football stadium, nothing spectacular - this wasn't Barcelona or Real Madrid for sure - it probably seated around 1000 people. Not the biggest, not the best but it was theirs. At least it was Peacemaker7's. So it seemed.
'We best go in and see whats what' PM7 stated and as usual Raptor followed on his heels.
The cleaner greeted them, bowing low in a majestic display of reverance. The groundsman greeted them, bowing even lower in an even more majestic display of reverance. And finally they arrived at the dressing room.
'I wonder who we'll find in here?' PM7 enquired as they cautiously pushed the door open.
The players instantly went quiet and PM7 looked around the room. He knew that somehow he knew these guys, even though he thought most of them he had never met before. Yet somehow they were familiar, they were smiling, respectfully waiting for his next word to comfort their small and insignificant lives.
Then a voice spoke up, 'If you're God PM, you could at least have created us at Chelsea'.
'Ah HD, its good to see you again!'
At that moment, Raptor's mobile rang and he answered it.
'Uh huh? Really? Wow thats interesting!' He turned to PM7, 'Its for you. It's Flippers'
PM7 took the phone with two fingers - you never knew where it had been after all - 'Hello?'
'Hi PM. So you've made yourself an FMS team have you? Included all the FMS greats have you? But you fecking missed me out didn't you!'
'I did?'
'Yes you know you did. Well, screw you. I'll make my own team, you're not going to get this all your own way mate. I'm gonna stop you and when I do - well erm, I'll have stopped you wont I!'
'Ok, thanks for calling' PM7 handed the phone back to Raptor then took a short breath. 'D'you know something mate?'
'No?'
'I think I've just created the Devil.'
11-02-2006, 01:38 PM
Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me Flippers? Post #4
I'm with Spav on the cheese references. And, PM7, if you continue to be more inventive than a hatfull of us all put together do you really wonder why you keep winning these awards ?
Another cracking idea for a story, go wrap yourself up another award or two now, eh ?
11-02-2006, 11:31 PM
Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me Flippers? Post #5
I'll explain the whole deal once I've got it all set up I'm hoping this will be fun, just got one or two little issues I want to work out then its all go!
Although I've no idea where we're going to.
11-03-2006, 01:50 PM
Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me Flippers? Post #6
'Ok Flippers, show us what you've got' PM7 was pretty confident that anything Flippers could do, he could do better. After all, he was God, Flip was the Devil and if that was so, then he was better. Wasn't he? It did, very slightly, cross the Great One's mind that the roles might be reversed, but no that couldn't be. After all, Raptor believed in him so it must be true.
'I'll give you the honour PM, after all you are the Legend and who am I?' There was almost a trace of a sneer in the not so great ones voice.
'Very well. The club: IFK Olme, Swedish Division Two, East Svealand. 1250 all seater stadium. North Svealand runners up in 2004, 3rd Division West Svealand Winners 2000, runners up 1999'
'Oh wow' Flippers said, his voice dripping with sarcasm 'that is so amazing, what an incredible God you are to have created such an amazing club!'
'Just show us what you've got Flip, its your turn now. Put up, or shut up!'
'Very well.' Flippers almost seemed delighted in echoing his rivals mannerisms, so typical of the Devil really. 'Vartans IK. Swedish Second Division, North Svealand.'
'Fantastic. So much better than me' PM7 even allowed a smile then, 'And what have they won?'
'Well, nothing' Flippers didn't seem overly perturbed, 'But don't worry PM that will change and where's the glory in bringing success to an already successful club?'
Which was true.
'Ok very good, I don't think either of us can gloat too much there. Right, staff, who you got?'
'Nope' Flippers was adamant. 'The rules are, its you first. After all, you are God'
PM7 sighed. 'Fine if thats the way you want to play it. I have Ingi Danielsson as manager, Dave Green as assistant, Clemente Marito and Mark Frost as coaches'
For the first time, it seemed as if, just perceptibly, Flipsix3's confidence dipped.
'Fairly impressive' PM7, 'I have to admit thats impressive'
'Its not bad. Four characters of the Year, can't do an awful lot better than that.'
'Nope possibly not but anyway. I have the great Sir Bert Merton as my assistant.'
'Oh very oo-lah-lah. Sir Bert eh? Imagine him lowering himself to such a level I am impressed' Although you could tell PM7 really was taking the pish.
'You can laugh. Its the one that lasts laugh you know.'
'Whatever. Manager? Who are you going to impress us with, Stan McbloodyCabe?'
Flippers blanched visibly. 'Sh*t I never thought of him, that would have been a great combination. Well anyway the guy I have is the best I know for sure. He was a great character, should have been character of the year and saved the skins of the UCMSer's'
'So who is it?'
'Clayton'
PM7 fell to the ground laughing.
Clayton. Aahahahaha!
11-03-2006, 06:06 PM
Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me Flippers? Post #7
Really, Stu, I swear to... ehm... to you I guess that you really have too much free time
Well, do not worry. I am learning the new FM and once the patch arrives I'll start up a game that will see me take a prize away from you. I already have the idea ready
11-03-2006, 07:18 PM
Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me Flippers? Post #8
'I'm still convinced my managerial team will win out PM' Flippers said with no trace of anger or arrogance in his voice, 'But anyway lets see what you have in the way of players. After all, your managerial team might be impressive but if your players are crap whats the point?'
'Oh my players are gonna be just fine matey, I've got the cream of FMS here. It's you I worry about because I can't think whose left that I didn't get to first.'
'We'll see. Come on, get the ball rolling. Defence?'
'Listen to this.
Keepers, Terk & Lionel Perez. Nothing gets past Terk, LP is a goalkeeping legend. You have no chance of topping them.
Right back, BrianW & Mikezone13. Excellent, quality FMSers in their day, no-one can touch them.
Left back, Raptor & Bobbev. Two of FMS finest, my defence is already making you drool I can see that, I see the panic in your eyes Flippers. Giving up?'
Flippers just stared at his rival, saying nothing, giving nothing away.
'Central defence, OMDave, -Xenon-, Faramir & Gino, a whole spectrum of FMS talent from througout the ages. I dare you to come even close to bringing in anyone who can match their reputations?'
Flippers nodded, 'Uhuh. I see that PM. Good choices, can't argue with the quality.'
PM7 smiled.
Flippers continued, 'But my guys can match that I'm sure.
Keepers, Steve Wall
PM7 audibly laughed.
And - Flippers gave a dramatic pause - Soldout
PM7 for a few seconds looked pale, and there were what might have been tears forming in the corner of his eye.
'I've got you there haven't I? Can't believe you dumped your old mate Soldout and now he's comin' back to haunt you.'
'Just get on with Flippers' PM had recovered his composure.
'Right backs, Irishregan & Bomjr'
PMy was laughing again. 'Who the hell are they?'
'They've been something.' Flippers said assuredly, 'Just you listen up and let me finish ok?'
Flippers continued, 'Left backs, Chonner & Richey
But PM7 simply could not control himself as he hell over lauhging. 'I'm sorry Flippers' he chortled, 'But this is suppose to be an FMS team!'
Flippers tried his best to keep up the bravado, 'Central defence, haze13, Lord Crumb, James Lewis and......'
Flippers was beaming, looking as if he had just won the lottery, Flann O'Brien!
PM7 stood still, his face getting redder and redder and then he simply fell over laughing again. 'I'm sorry Flippers but if thats the best you can do, you have no chance. You should give in now'
'But I have an FMS legend, one of the greatest writers ever to grace this forum!'
'Look haze13 is ok, he's far from a legend for crying out loud! I think its round one to me matey. You better get used to this losing lark, because its looking like something your team is gonna a do a lot of!'