Daz the Imp was the first to respond. “Form a line behind me, fellas”, he said as he got to his feet. Daz walked over towards the woman and held out his hand towards her. “Daz the Imp is my name and you know what they say about imps being naughty little devils”, he said as he gave her a wink for added measure. The woman shook his offered hand and responded “I’m Genevieve Waldorf and I know you’ve been a very naughty little boy, Daz. That’s why you’re here in the first place. Now I’d like you to take your seat again please”. Daz gave her a nod and went back to his place. “Just remember I’m first to spend a night with you when we get back to that subject again”, Daz said as he sat down in his seat.
“Gentlemen, as you heard me say to Daz, I’m Genevieve Waldorf. I’m a clinical psychologist with the New South Wales Corrective Services Department and I am the person who came up with the plan for your rehabilitation that was accepted by the British authorities. Firstly, and for Daz’s benefit, let me explain the reason for my opening statement. I shall be working with each of you on individual rehabilitation plans tailored for each person’s particular ‘ailment’ and I shall go through those plans each evening, one person at a time. Daz has kindly volunteered to be the first of you to have his rehabilitation plan laid out for him. Now does anyone have any questions at this stage?”
WLKRAS put up his hand. “Genevieve, can I go sloppy seconds after Daz?” There was a general patter of laughter throughout the room. Genevieve shook her head sadly. “I’m familiar with each of your case-files and I have seen your photographs, so I know that you are WLKRAS. Now I must say that your question is the typical response of a person suffering from the sort of personality disorders that particularly affect you. It is something that I intend to work upon in the coming months”. WLKRAS got to his feet angrily. “There’s nothing wrong with me that needs treatment. You’d be damn angry and sarcastic too if you’d been fitted up on some crazy charges and transported to the other side of the world for twenty-five years”. With that WLKRAS sat down again and turned his back to Genevieve.
Bagpuss raised his had briefly and spoke next. “Look Genevieve, let’s cut to the chase here. We’re all mightily peeved here and we want to know what’s going on, so let’s drop the smart-alec comments and petty mind-games and why don’t you tell us what you have in store for us. Fair enough”, Genevieve replied. “Basically, each of you gentlemen has an affiliation with the game of football, but it is only based in and around your imagination. You have allowed these fantasies to take control of your lives and in doing so you have turned your lurid thoughts into reality in terms of the written word and you have spread those words across the internet where they can influence and corrupt younger or weaker minds. What I aim to do is give each of you a chance to take your affiliation with football from a mental level to a physical level. You will all be given the chance to work with the teams in the new Australian A-League and in doing so you will put your love of the game to a more practical use. This in turn should fuel your rehabilitation and we should see a lessening of these fantasies and lives lived through imagination. Instead you will then be able to interact more freely with those people in general society instead of shunning them”. Genevieve waited briefly for her words to sink in. “Now, do we have any further questions?”
Tyrone the Magazine raised his hand. “Can I go sloppy thirds?” he asked.
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