retired_jgirl87

The midweek League Cup tie against Charlton gave Fred West the chance to send out the reserve team again. It was a no-brainer as far as Fred was concerned – he selected the reserves and when they got beaten he blamed it on his predecessor for setting the trend that had devalued the League Cup in return for the so-called first-team experience that it gave to the youngsters. There was one significant selection for Manchester United though as West rushed the fit-again Smith back into the side after he had recovered from his horrific broken ankle of the previous season. Smith had only had a week of first-team training and West was secretly hoping that he might get lucky and see Smith break his ankle yet again.

23.11.2005

v. Charlton (H) League Cup 4th Round

(2-4-4 Attacking) Zieler; Ngalula, Pique; Gibson, Fletcher, Neumayr, Fortune; Smith, Scholes, Gray, Ronaldo.

subs: Saha, O’Shea, Halford, Brown, Steele.

Gray showed that he was glad to be back in the team now that Rossi had usurped him as the favoured youngster of the moment by blasting a volley inches over the crossbar after only 4 minutes. When Charlton keeper Randolph parried Neumayr’s shot for a corner after 12 minutes it was Fletcher who took it. Hreidarsson headed the corner back towards Fletcher, but his second effort was driven low towards the near post and Gray nipped in before Randolph to divert the ball home for United to led 1-0. Gray was adopting a shoot-on-sight policy and he forced Randolph to parry away a vicious twenty-yarder after 16 minutes. When Charlton finally got their act together and executed a carefully constructed attack against United’s two-man defence, they immediately found the net. Ambrose’s cross from the right caused all sorts of bother and when Thomas turned it back from the left Marcus Bent was left unmarked to fire home the equaliser from close range via the crossbar to make it 1-1. After 27 minutes Young fouled Fletcher as he attempted to get on the end of Neumayr’s quick free-kick and Manchester United had a penalty. Gray quickly grabbed the ball, placed it on the spot and blasted home his second goal for a 2-1 lead. Within two minutes Charlton had a penalty of their own after Ngalula’s clumsy tackle felled Marcus Bent and Euell blasted it home from the spot to make it 2-2. Scholes had been selected up front in the four-man forward line and his clever runs were causing lots of trouble for Charlton. When he attempted to latch onto a long ball from Ngalula in the 35th minute he was hauled down by Holland and United had their second penalty of their match. There was no question of Gray not taking it and the Scottish U-21 international hammered it high into the roof of the net for his hat-trick as United went to a 3-2 lead. The drama kept coming just two minutes later when the already-booked Fletcher bought Darren Bent crashing down with a late tackle. A second yellow card ensued and Fletcher was sent off with only 37 minutes played. Charlton immediately responded with a more attacking attitude and the young German keeper Zieler found himself busy as he twice denied Thomas as well as tipping away shots from Darren bent and Holland. At half-time United continued to lead 3-2, but they would be a man down for another forty-five minutes.

The second half saw Charlton unleash a series of chances, but a combination of great goalkeeping by Zieler and poor finishing by the Addicks players kept the scoreline unchanged. Marcus Bent, Ambrose and Darren Bent were all denied by Zieler in the opening ten minutes of the second half and when Holland finally did get the ball beyond the keeper it was Gibson who dived in to head the lobbed shot of the line for United. In the 64th minute Charlton overcommitted themselves in a series of attacks and Scholes suddenly sprung a counterattack to send Gibson free on the right wing. His cross into the centre was slightly behind Gray, but nothing could go wrong for the youngster tonight and his flying scissors-kick bulleted past Randolph to put United 4-2 in front. In the 70th minuted ten-man Manchester United became nine-man Manchester United when a display of petulance by Neumayr saw him kick the ball away twice when Charlton were awarded a free-kick. The referee booked him for each offence and Neumayr was consequently sent off. Within three minutes Thomas had pulled the scoreline back to 4-3 as he turned in a cross from Rommedahl at the far post. As much as manager Fred West wanted United to stay on the attack and concede further goals as a result, he was not able to stop the players from falling back to defend. It was now Zieler who stood between Charlton and an equaliser followed by a possible winner. Twice the young German keeper foiled Darren Bent and they he performed a superb double save in the 87th minute to deny Holland and Marcus Bent on the follow-up. Four minutes of injury-time bought a final chance for Euell to force an equaliser, but Zieler reacted to tip his looping header away for a corner and the United had sensationally won 4-3 with only nine men on the park at the finish.

Manchester United 4-3 Charlton
Gray 12, 27 (pen), 35 (pen), 64 – M.Bent 22, Euell 29 (pen), Thomas 73

In the post-match press conference Fred West was particularly vociferous. He praised the youngsters to the hilt, singling out Gray, Zieler, Gibson and Pique in particular. It was these types of performances, he said, that gave him hope that Manchester United’s season was not going to end as badly as it seemed to heading for. If the senior players in the Premier League couldn’t follow the example of the youngsters in the League Cup, then maybe it was time that they stepped down and gave the youngsters a chance themselves. It was a thinly veiled warning to the senior players and it gave West every chance to carry out his threat without fear of condemnation from the media.

retired_jgirl87

Despite his threats after the midweek League Cup win by what was basically a reserve team, Fred West decided on only a couple of subtle changes for the big home match against Liverpool in the Premier League. O’Shea and Richardson did not regain their positions in the starting eleven as Halford and Fortune took their places. West fancied that those two changes took some of the attacking bite out of his Manchester United side and, with Liverpool in only 9th place on the table after some poor performances themselves, the team from Merseyside could use as much help as they could get.

26.11.2005

v. Liverpool (H) Premier League

(2-4-4 Attacking) Howard; Neville, Brown; Halford, Wise, Fortune, Evra; Solskjaer, Akinbiyi, Rossi, Giggs.

subs: Ronaldo, Smith, Richardson, O’Shea, van der Sar.

Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez was taking no chances with United’s attacking 2-4-4 tactic as he sent out his players in a defensive 4-5-1 formation, even despite his opponent’s 17th placing on the table. The result was a first half that featured few chances as the two teams cancelled each other out. It wasn’t until the 16th minute that the first chance came as former United old boy and recent Liverpool signing Butt looped a header over Howard from an Alonso corner only to see Brown head the ball off the line. United responded with Reina having to make two decent saves to deny Akinbiyi and Brown around the 20-minute mark. Cisse made a surging run past Wise and Brown in the 33rd minute and sent in a low shot which Howard could only parry, but Evra was on the spot to hack clear the rebound. The first half ended with Liverpool claiming a penalty after Sissoko fell under the challenge of Neville, but rather luckily for United the referee thought otherwise. Rossi showed some of his potential with a turn and shot that scrapped the outside of Reina’s goal after 53 minutes, but it was Liverpool who opened the scoring in the 56th minute. Hyypia intercepted a Neville pass that was meant for Solskjaer and sent the ball across to Alonso. A superb 40-yard pass found Cisse in behind the now out-of-position Neville and the French striker volleyed it home powerfully from the edge of the box to put Liverpool 1-0 in front. The home fans reacted with a round of sustained booing as they saw their side fall behind yet again, and to a fierce rival at that too. Giggs attempted to rectify the situation with a dribble and shot that ended up being blocked by Reina’s legs, but it was Liverpool who looked like extending their lead. Only profligate finishing by Cisse, Luis Garcia and Sissoko stopped the Reds going two up, but when Manchester United attacked they found Reina and his defence in a defiant mood. A final chance did fall United’s way as the game moved into injury-time, but Akinbiyi hit Halford’s cross high into the Stretford End crowd and the team had lost 1-0 to Liverpool.

Manchester United 0-1 Liverpool
Cisse 56

League Placing: 19th

At home that night Fred West treated himself to a celebratory drink as he cracked open a bottle of single malt whiskey that he had been saving for a special occasion. Apart from the satisfaction of guiding Manchester United to a 1-0 loss at home to Liverpool, he had achieved something of a long-term goal as well. That achievement was getting the team from Old Trafford into the bottom three of the Premier League. West looked on in pride at the printout of the current standings that he had been handed as he left the ground earlier in the evening. Manchester United were now in 19th place on the Premier League table, wedged between the bottom side Sunderland and third from bottom West Brom. They were only one point away from safety and there were twenty-five matches still to play, but it was damned fine position as far as West was concerned. So fine in fact that he helped himself to glass after glass of whiskey until he had drained the bottle dry.

retired_jgirl87

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">********************************************* ************************************************** *** English Premier Division - Wednesday 30th November 2005********************************************** ************************************************** **================================================ ================================================== 2005/6 Table============================================= ================================================== ===Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1st Chelsea 13 6 1 0 12 1 3 1 2 9 6 29 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------2nd Arsenal 13 5 1 0 12 2 3 3 1 17 9 28 3rd Fulham 14 6 1 0 15 1 2 3 2 7 7 28 4th Blackburn 14 4 1 1 11 4 3 2 3 13 15 24 5th Charlton 13 5 1 1 11 5 2 2 2 7 8 24 6th Birmingham 14 6 1 0 21 7 0 4 3 3 12 23 7th Aston Villa 13 4 1 1 9 3 3 0 4 7 8 22 8th Tottenham 14 7 0 0 19 9 0 1 6 5 17 22 9th Liverpool 12 4 2 0 8 1 2 1 3 6 6 21 10th West Ham 13 6 1 0 18 5 0 1 5 4 16 20 11th Newcastle 12 4 1 0 14 7 1 2 4 9 14 18 12th Bolton 13 4 2 1 6 1 1 0 5 4 9 17 13th Middlesbrough 14 4 2 2 19 13 0 2 4 2 11 16 14th Man City 14 3 4 0 11 8 1 0 6 6 15 16 15th Wigan 14 2 3 2 10 15 1 2 4 6 15 14 16th Everton 14 2 2 3 7 8 1 1 5 6 16 12 17th Portsmouth 14 0 3 4 5 11 2 1 4 7 9 10 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------18th W.B.A. 14 3 1 3 12 10 0 0 7 3 17 10 19th MAN UNITED 13 1 2 3 7 8 0 4 3 8 13 9 20th Sunderland 13 3 0 4 10 13 0 0 6 3 14 9 </pre>

retired_jgirl87

A visit by Manchester United to Craven Cottage to play Fulham would normally be an occasion where the away supporters could enjoy the prospect of picking up three easy points, but during this particular season that certainly wasn’t the case. Fulham had lost only twice in thirteen games (away to Middlesbrough and Chelsea) and were third on the Premier League table behind perennial leaders Chelsea and Arsenal. Fred West had taken Manchester United down to nineteenth place and, with an unchanged side from the previous weekend’s home defeat to Liverpool, it was fair to say that the Cottagers were odds-on favourites to take the three points today.

03.12.2005

v. Fulham (A) Premier League

(2-4-4 Attacking) Howard; Neville, Brown; Halford, Wise, Fortune, Evra; Solskjaer, Akinbiyi, Rossi, Giggs.

subs: Ronaldo, Smith, Richardson, O’Shea, van der Sar.

Within 3 minutes Malbranque was showing he was up for this game by performing an acrobatic scissors-kick that saw his shot fly inches over Howard’s crossbar. Fulham surged forward in attack and Howard was called into action when he was forced to parry Boa Morte’s shot after 5 minutes. When Malbranque burst from the midfield after 10 minutes he dribbled past Neville and ran into the penalty area before crashing a left-footed shot past Howard to put the home team 1-0 in front. A superb Fulham team move after 16 minutes saw Jensen, Volz, and Radzinski carve open the left side of United’s defence. The ball found itself at the feet of Malbranque and he rolled it back across the six-yard box for an unmarked McBride to tap it home for a 2-0 lead to Fulham. An annoyed Brown took out his frustration on Boa Morte’s shins and was lucky to only escape with a yellow card in the 25th minute, but that seemed to inspire his team-mates and United had their best period of the match over the next twenty minutes. Wise sent Giggs racing away down the left wing in the 31st minute and the Welshman cut inside to unleash a thunderbolt of a shot that Niemi could only parry with his body. The ball rebounded towards the right side and Akinbiyi was on hand to tap it home and bring the score back to 2-1. Fred West then endured some anxious moments as both Evra and Rossi tested Niemi before half-time, but this time the Finnish keeper was able to make saves from their efforts. As the second half began Boa Morte and Solskjaer traded headers that just flashed wide of their targets before Boa Morte went even closer and thumped a twenty-yard effort into the United crossbar after 52 minutes. In the next ten minutes both Evra and Rossi went down in the box under suspect challenges, but neither player was able to convince the referee to award a penalty. Evra was putting in an inspired display on the left side of the United midfield, so much so that West was forced to make a rare substitution during his managerial reign as he bought off the influential Frenchman and replaced him with Richardson after 66 minutes. The change had the desired effect soon after as Bouba Diop ran free on the United left when Richardson was caught upfield in the 73rd minute. The Senegalese midfielder’s long cross found Malbranque on the far post and he nodded it back across goal for Jensen to bundle it home under pressure from Brown for a 3-1 lead to Fulham. The Cottagers manager Chris Coleman then pulled his men back to protect their two-goal lead and his Manchester United counterpart Fred West was able to sit back and relax for the remainder of the match as the game was closed out for his unfortunate players.

Fulham 3-1 Manchester United
Malbranque 10, McBride 16, Jensen 73 – Akinbiyi 31

League Placing: 19th

retired_jgirl87

07.12.2005

Back at that hotel somewhere in Manchester:

Malcolm Glazer had not been spending much time in Manchester recently and there were both positive and negative outcomes from that. The positive outcome was that he didn’t have to face the media who constantly questioned as to why the Manchester United chairman was doing nothing to end the reign of the obviously incompetent manager Fred West. The man that Glazer had sensationally appointed after the murder of Air Alex Ferguson (a crime which incidentally was still unsolved) had turned out to be a monumental fool who was driving the club towards relegation and a place in the League Championship. There were constant rumours that the board wanted to cut West loose, but that Glazer continued to overrule them and kept supporting his appointee.

The main negative outcome of Malcolm Glazer’s lack of time in Manchester was that he was unable to partake in many sessions with his beloved Mistress Veronika. However tonight he had been able to secure an evening with the raven-haired dominatrix and as usual she had managed to fulfil his most wanton desires. Glazer emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist after washing off the effects of Mistress Veronika’s ‘golden shower’ and knew that he had to ask her a question. It wasn’t permitted for him to speak out first, so he assumed the agreed position on his hands and knees with his cheek against the top of Mistress Veronika’s leather boot and waited for her to acknowledge his requirement.

“What is it you want, you slimy piece of shït?” she demanded. Glazer lifted his head and stared up at her beautiful face. “Mistress Veronika, it’s about that document that I signed back in July”, he said. “And what of it?” she queried. “I don’t know who you gave it to and who it was that decided who should be the new manager of the Manchester United Football Club because all I got was a photocopy of the document in the mail with a note attached that I should announce Fred West as the new manager”, replied Glazer. “So what’s the problem then?” Mistress Veronika asked. “I don’t think that I can continue to support this unknown person’s decision. The board, the media and the fans are all in total uproar and I think I’ll have to get rid of Fred West, irregardless of the consequences”. Mistress Veronika stepped back from Glazer and looked angrily in his direction. “If you do anything like that, then you can forget about seeing me ever again”, she threatened. “And that is why I’m telling you this”, whined Glazer. “If you can just please tell whoever it was that you gave the document of my predicament, then we might be able to come to an amicable arrangement regarding a change of manager and the current arrangements that you and I share can continue as a result”.

Sharon quickly weighed up the situation in her mind. The relationship between her and Sean Manc had been going really well since she had carried out his earlier wishes to blackmail Malcolm Glazer in her guise as Mistress Veronika. If she failed to advise Sean of Glazer’s intentions and he went and sacked Fred West, then Sean would surely be angry with her for not warning him. There was nothing else for Sharon to do except to agree to pass on Glazer’s message.

Mistress Veronika’s eyes hardened as she looked down upon Malcolm Glazer’s wrinkled old body. She leant forward and whisked the towel away from the kneeling man’s body leaving him naked before her. “Roll over on your back, you old prïck”, she commanded and Glazer did as he was told. Mistress Veronika walked up to him and placed the foot of her black leather boot over his testicles. “I will do what you have asked”, she said. “However you will cause me embarrassment with your petty request, so I am not happy with you and for that you must suffer”. Glazer clenched his teeth tightly together in anticipation, for he knew that in just a moment his balls would be aching fiercely after his darling Mistress Veronika had ground them into the carpet.

retired_ilka munoz

What have you given Akinbiyi? :eek:. Great story anyway :thup:

retired_jgirl87

Cheers, Bluebirds22. :thup: I think Akinbiyi was bound to score a few goals given the talent that is playing around him. Still it's better having him rather than Rooney or Ruud in the side.

retired_jgirl87

09.12.2005

At the luxurious home of ‘businessman’ Sean Manc:

Sean Manc and Sharon lay stretched out on the bed in the afterglow of a torrid lovemaking session. The Alsatian dog that had joined them was now lying on the mat in front of the fire and licking his balls with satisfaction after previously humping Sharon for Sean’s perverted enjoyment. “Baby, I have something to tell you”, said Sharon after a while. Sean didn’t like the epithet ‘baby’, but he was in a good enough mood at the moment not to say anything about it. “Well, what is then?” he asked. “I had a session with Malcolm Glazer on Wednesday evening”, she replied. Sean lifted himself up onto his elbow and looked down at Sharon. “And…” he queried. “And at the end of it he told me that he was finding it almost impossible to continue to honour the terms of that document that I got him to sign on your behalf”, answered Sharon. Sean shot bolt upright in bed. “What, and you only found it in your tiny mind to tell me now two days later”, he snapped at Sharon. “What else did he say?” Sharon was miffed that Sean had yelled at her, but she knew better than to leave her story unfinished. “He said that he was going to have to sack that manager at Manchester United and he wanted me to tell you so that you might be able to sort out a replacement”, she said.

Sean got out of bed and reached for a robe that was hung over the back of a chair nearby. He slipped it on and turned to speak to Sharon. “I’ve got a couple of important phone calls to make as a result of what you’ve just told me”, he said. “Amuse yourself for while – I’ll be back shortly”, he added as he walked from the bedroom. A pout found its way onto Sharon’s face as she mused over what had just happened. She had known that Sean wouldn’t take the news very well. Well, at least he hadn’t sent her packing for the evening, so she knew that he would be back eventually. In the meantime she needed to find something to wile away the time until Sean returned. Sharon laid back, stretched out her body and spread her legs wide open. “Here boy, Sharon’s got something for you”, she called out to the dog at the foot of the bed.

*** *** *** *** ***

Sean Manc sat in his study and made two calls on his private line. The first call was to his chief ‘facilitator’ Vic – the man who had taken care of Sir Alex Ferguson. Sean issued his instructions as soon as Vic answered. “I need you to be available for a special job over the next few days”, he told his operative. “I’m not sure of the exact timing, so you’ll need to be ready to go at a moment’s notice”. Vic acknowledged his instructions and then hung up. Sean knew that he could trust Vic to do the right thing when the time arose, so that part of the solution was covered as far as he was concerned.

Sean’s next call found its intended recipient answering on his mobile phone whilst sitting in the back of a school hall watching a show put on by the students. “Ian, is it alright to talk where you are?” Sean asked of the person he had called. “No problems”, replied Ian. “The kids are merrily singing away and everyone is enthralled”, said the man. Sean took a deep breath and said “Right then Ian, I’m calling to let you know that I think I have a job for you. You’ll probably be starting early next week if things go as I plan”. There was a slight lull in which Sean could clearly hear the voices of the youngsters singing in the background and then Ian spoke up. “That’s great news, Sean”, he said. “I’ve had a suspicion for some time that you might call me in to work for you on your latest venture – in fact I was a little bit peeved that you didn’t turn to me in the first place”, Ian added. “Well, I’m asking you now”, replied Sean, “so I’m glad you’re available. Anyway, I’ll keep you informed as to when you’ll be beginning, but I’m sure you’ll get an idea when you read of a certain unfortunate mishap in the newspaper early next week”.

With that Sean hung up the phone, left his study and returned to the bedroom. He entered the room just in time to find Sharon convulsing in ecstasy as the Alsatian licked her to orgasm. “Damn, I just missed the show”, he said to himself as he threw off his robe and joined the girl and the dog on the bed.

retired_jgirl87

Emotions were running high in Manchester as the once-mighty Manchester United found themselves in 19th place on the Premier League table. The Premier League management had decided at short notice to shift the Manchester derby between United and City from Sunday afternoon to Monday evening in the hope that any major tensions between the disgruntled United supporters and their cross-city rivals could be alleviated. As for Fred West, he was feeling very happy with himself these days. He had taken Manchester United into the relegation zone and now he was looking forward to plotting their downfall in the bitter local derby against Manchester City. A defeat for United today would top off his sense of wellbeing. West decided on an unchanged line-up for his team and sent out the same eleven that had gone down 3-1 to Fulham nine days earlier.

12.12.2005

v. Manchester City (H) Premier League

(2-4-4 Attacking) Howard; Neville, Brown; Halford, Wise, Fortune, Evra; Solskjaer, Akinbiyi, Rossi, Giggs.

subs: Ronaldo, Smith, Richardson, O’Shea, van der Sar.

Both sides were very tentative in the beginning and there was little in the way of meaningful action in the opening twenty minutes. Manchester City’s cautious approach eased as any serious United pressure failed to materialise and they looked to take charge themselves. Sinclair made a forceful run down the right wing after 24 minutes and got himself free of Evra. Only Vassell was up with him in support, but Sinclair’s hopeful cross as he reached the bye-line found the striker charging in at the near post and the resulting header found its way into the net via the post to put City 1-0 in front. United could not produce much in the way of a response and it was goalkeeper Howard who kept them in the game when he fingertipped away a low Sibierski drive after 37 minutes. From the resulting corner Howard dived well to hold on to Distin’s powerful header. The first half ended with Howard palming away Sun Jihai’s thirty-yard volley to ensure that United only went in 1-0 down at the break. The first chance of the second half fell to City striker Samaras, but his 51st minute header smacked against the post and bounced away to safety. When he was presented with another chance in the 53rd minute, the Greek striker did better. Reyna supplied the pass that sent Samaras free and he kept his composure to sidefoot the ball under the advancing Howard to put Manchester City 2-0 in front. With a two-goal lead it soon became obvious that City manager Stuart Pearce and his players were pleased with that score and were happy to defend it. Giggs found space for a shot that found the side netting after 59 minutes, but that was his last contribution as a calf injury forced him off after 64 minutes. West sent on Ronaldo in his place and also took the chance to remove Brown who was performing solidly and replaced him with O’Shea in the centre of defence. Solskjaer fired a shot over after 73 minutes, but City were still looking reasonably solid in defence. Finally they got a breakthrough after 82 minutes when the substitute Ronaldo weaved his way down the left wing and sent over a swirling cross which Rossi trapped expertly before hammering a half-volley past James for his first senior goal for Manchester United. With the score trimmed back to 2-1 the United faithful roared on their team and they looked to have got what they craved in the 90th minute when Wise sent Akinbiyi clear through the middle of the City defence. United’s top scorer approached keeper James and slid the ball under his sprawling body, but it agonisingly rolled an inch or two wide of the post and City were spared the heartbreak of a last minute equaliser.

Manchester United 1-2 Manchester City
Rossi 82 – Vassell 24, Samaras 53

League Placing: 19th

There was pandemonium outside the Old Trafford stadium after the match. The stewards had managed to shepherd the fans out of the ground before any major trouble could kick off, but nearly ten thousand people had gathered in the surrounds of the stadium. The crowd called for the sacking of Fred West and the resignation of Malcolm Glazer and his board. Club flags and scarves were burned before the crowd turned uglier and started to take out their frustration on the buildings and parked cars in the vicinity. The police were hopelessly outnumbered, but they did manage to clear a path so that the Manchester City coach could leave safely.

It was ninety minutes after the trouble had started before police reinforcements managed to disperse the majority of the crowd. At that point the Manchester United players and staff considered it safe to leave and they made their way from the ground. Fred West was one of the first to leave, but as fate would have it his Ford Escort decided to breakdown only a mile from the stadium. Cursing, Fred got out of his car and went around to lift the bonnet. He was tinkering with the engine when a group of a dozen United supporters walked past. Upon noticing that it was Fred West the disgruntled fans set about abusing their club’s manager. It wasn’t long before the first punch was thrown and then the group set about laying into West. Fists and boots buffeted his body and Fred was forced to curl himself into a ball to try and minimise the damage that the beating was causing.

Things weren’t looking good for West, but suddenly a car pulled up and three burly fellows got out and waded into the mob, throwing people aside until they had cleared everyone away from him. With that they picked Fred up, tossed him into the back seat and sped off to the jeers and abuse of the group that had just been attacking him. Fred slowly came to his senses and realised that the three fellows had saved him. He was just about to offer them his eternal thanks when the car pulled up to a stop. Fred wasn’t sure where they were, but he was suddenly hauled from the back seat and dragged down an alley. After a short distance he was dumped unceremoniously onto the ground. Fred sat himself up and looked at the three men. They looked like typical underworld goons. One of them stepped forward and said “Hello Fred, my name’s Vic”. Fred immediately knew who he was facing – Sean Manc’s chief ‘facilitator’. “But I did everything Sean asked of me”, he pleaded towards Vic as he realised why they were here.

Vic always performed his ‘tasks’ with a minimum of fuss and tonight was no different. He pulled a gun from a holster inside his jacket and levelled it at Fred’s head. The trigger was pulled, a gunshot rang out and Fred slumped to the ground dead. His two assistants rolled Fred’s body into the water whilst Vic returned his gun to its holster. “You know, I think I could get used to killing Manchester United managers”, he said to the other two as they turned and made their way back down the alley towards their car.

retired_jgirl87

13.12.2005

The Manchester police had barely pulled the body of Fred West out of the canal before there was a press conference being called at the Old Trafford. The media were expecting a statement on West’s death, but what they got was something much more than that. Malcolm Glazer and what looked like one of his many advisors walked in from the rear of the media centre and both men took a seat at the table. The advisor handed Glazer a sheet of paper that obviously contained a prepared statement and the Manchester United chairman cleared his throat before he began to read what was written in front of him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending Old Trafford at such short notice on what is such a sad day for the club. The death of our dear friend Fred West has left us all in deep shock, but to paraphrase what a great Liverpool manager said many years ago – football is more important than that. As such I am here to announce that the board has already put into place a previously prepared contingency plan and has endorsed the engagement of a new manager for the Manchester United Football Club. Without further ado let me announce to you that the new manager of this great club is Ian Brady”.

The assembled media representatives were just as mystified today as to who the new manager was as they were back in July when Fred West had been announced as the new supremo. “When will this Ian Brady fellow be introduced to us?” asked someone in the front row. “Mr Brady is with us now”, replied Glazer. “Then bring him in so we can meet him”, countered the front row journalist. Glazer looked sheepishly around the room and then turned to the advisor sitting beside him. “This gentleman here is Ian Brady”, he responded. For the first time most of the reporters actually looked at the man seated at the table next to Glazer. He certainly was an anonymous looking individual and exactly the sort of person that most people never took any notice of.

Ian Brady leant in towards the accumulated microphones and in a quiet voice thanked Glazer for his welcome. He paid his respects to his deceased predecessors in Sir Alex Ferguson and Fred West and announced that he was prepared to carry on the work of West in bringing about a new culture at Old Trafford. He said that whilst the club had had its ups and downs under West, he was sure that he could move it up the table during the remaining matches of the season. A thin smile crossed his lips as he added his final words. “In particular I look forward to working with the youth players at this club and in nurturing them so that they reach their full potential”. With that over and done, Glazer and Brady rose from the table together and left the room. “What a creepy fûcking bästard”, said the front row journalist to his photographer as he watched Brady leave the room.