retired_swmchick2006

We did what we needed to do against soon-to-be-relegated Birmingham by getting a 3-1 home win. Craig scored another brace, and Aimar converted a 90th minute penalty to seal the win.

Arsenal had a man sent off in the 10th minute, and gave up a late goal to crash to Fulham by a 2-1 score. Things were looking very promising.

Our game in hand was against Fulham at home on the Wednesday. Things looked bad for us when our Premiership Player of the Month for April (Craig, of course) suffered an injury in the 22nd minute. Mid-table Fulham was playing a defensive tactic, and looked like they wanted a 0-0 draw. Fabien Foulon continued to play at the attacking midfield position as Ian Clark struggled to return to fitness. Almost all the chances were ours, but it wasn’t until the 72nd that we finally broke through. Lecocq got on the end of an Aimar pass and buried his shot in the net. That opened the gates a bit and O’Neill and Cunningham added goals in the last minutes to secure an easy win.

We’d overtaken Arsenal and put ourselves 5 points clear. They’d totally lost their touch from their unbeaten streak in the middle of the year, and now we’d taken advantage.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">1st Dover 36 12 4 2 28 7 12 3 3 31 11 79 ------------------------------2nd Arsenal 36 13 3 2 44 14 9 5 4 30 17 74</pre>

We only needed 2 points in our last 2 games to win the Premiership.

Matchday 37 had us away at Tottenham. The home side scored early with a 6th minute strike from Overgaard. We had no choice but to switch to a 4-4-2 at halftime to try and get a goal. (Arsenal were leading at Sunderland 2-1 at their half.) It paid off immediately as Foulon scored his first ever goal for Dover, tapping in from his own rebound. The young player was our only serious threat on the day, but he couldn’t find a win. The 1-1 draw was coupled with Arsenal easing a 4-1 win.

We need a point from our last match at home against Charlton.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">1st Dover 37 12 4 2 28 7 12 4 3 32 12 80 ------------------------------2nd Arsenal 37 13 3 2 44 14 10 5 4 34 18 77</pre>

First we had our UEFA Cup final in Lisbon versus Inter Milan. With Craig still injured, we were relying on something from Lamont or from one of our midfielders. The game turned out to be a very even contest, with Inter having just slightly the better of chances. Inter was exploiting our wings, but our back four of Baticle, Aimar, Diawara, and Perez were playing magnificent and had the offside trap working to perfection (12 calls in total against Inter). With those players in front of a stellar Abiven, Inter saw their opportunities well covered. After an early chance from Clark was well saved by Lazzarini, we had no looks on goal until substitute Paterson just after halftime. It wasn’t until Quinn came on did we put another shot on goal, only to see it saved again. Extra-time was more of the same, with Dover actually controlling possession versus a tiring Inter squad. Neither side threatened the goal and we went to penalties.

Abiven and Lazzarini made a save a piece through the first 5 takers. (Clark, Cunningham – a cool penalty taker at a young age, Aimar, and Paterson converting, while MacLeod had his saved.) That brought up Quinn who had come on in the 75th minute. He buried his penalty smoothly, and when Padrao blazed his shot well over Abiven the UEFA Cup was ours to lift again. We’d won it back to back, the first time a club had done that since Real Madrid in the 1980s.

It had been Abiven that had earned the win, and he was widely praised for his brilliant day.

We knew what we needed to do against Charlton. We had no need to push for a winner, so it was all about controlling the tempo of the game. Charlton could create no chances through the 90 minutes, and Dover saw our attempts just go wide or pushed away by Danny Bennett. Craig had 6 attempts to break the single-season goalscoring record held by Frank Voß, but just couldn’t find the net and picked up an injury in the 91st that will force him to undergo therapy over the summer. Calleja saw a shot trickle just wide of the post.

It was veteran captain, and recently appointed player/coach, John McCabe who led his team to the final point needed to secure the Premiership title. The point earned against Charlton turned out to be more than enough as Arsenal could only manage a draw at home against Derby. It was the lowest point total to win the title in recent memory, but it didn’t matter.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">******************** English Premier Division - Sunday 20th May 2007********************Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts-------------------------1st C Dover 38 12 5 2 28 7 12 4 3 32 12 81 -------------------------2nd Arsenal 38 13 4 2 45 15 10 5 4 34 18 78 3rd Man Utd 38 14 4 1 38 7 8 8 3 31 22 78 4th Leeds 38 14 4 1 44 18 8 2 9 20 20 72 5th Everton 38 14 3 2 32 17 5 4 10 13 22 64 6th Chelsea 38 13 3 3 34 13 6 3 10 31 34 63 7th Derby 38 11 3 5 30 20 7 5 7 24 24 62 8th Liverpool 38 9 7 3 28 13 8 2 9 23 28 60 9th Tottenham 38 11 4 4 31 22 6 4 9 22 32 59 10th Charlton 38 10 5 4 30 20 5 4 10 14 25 54 11th Fulham 38 9 4 6 32 23 6 4 9 17 30 53 12th Sunderland 38 13 1 5 36 23 2 5 12 13 30 51 13th Aston Villa 38 10 1 8 24 20 3 6 10 16 30 46 14th Watford 38 7 4 8 27 27 4 2 13 20 45 39 15th Ipswich 38 7 4 8 23 28 3 4 12 15 32 38 16th Bolton 38 7 2 10 22 27 4 2 13 18 38 37 17th Nottm Forest 38 5 5 9 17 23 3 6 10 18 33 35 ----------------------18th R Wolves 38 5 5 9 20 25 3 4 12 16 36 33 19th R Birmingham 38 5 5 9 25 33 4 1 14 18 46 33 20th R Blackburn 38 5 5 9 18 20 1 3 15 6 27 26 Goalsos Player Club Apps Gls-------------------------------------------------------------------------1st Michael Craig Dover 30 (1) 24 2nd Andy Hughes Fulham 38 19 3rd Carlos Ferreira Arsenal 21 (10) 18 4th Kevin Peters Arsenal 36 (1) 17 5th Derek Sparrow Leeds 35 16 14th Ian Clark Dover 31 10 Assistsos Player Club Apps Asts-------------------------------------------------------------------------1st Frank Voß Man Utd 33 12 2nd John Verberne Arsenal 31 12 3rd Craig Newell Derby 36 11 4th Paul Davis Arsenal 34 10 5th Mark Doyle Liverpool 21 (7) 10 11th Pascal Calleja Dover 27 9 28th Ian Clark Dover 31 6 Average Rating: Pos Player Club Apps Av R-------------------------------------------------------------------------1st Rónald Vargas Arsenal 23 (5) 7.89 2nd Frank Voß Man Utd 33 7.85 3rd Mark Burke Man Utd 25 7.84 4th Derek Sparrow Leeds 35 7.83 5th John Verberne Arsenal 31 7.81 8th Michael Craig Dover 30 (1) 7.71 17th John McCabe Dover 31 7.58 29th Pascal Calleja Dover 27 7.48 Man of the Matchos Player Club Apps MoM-------------------------------------------------------------------------1st Colin Reynolds Aston Villa 38 7 2nd Frank Voß Man Utd 33 7 3rd Andre Wijngaarde Chelsea 35 7 4th Alex Talbot Man Utd 32 6 5th John McCabe Dover 31 6 9th Michael Craig Dover 30 (1) 5 14th Ian Clark Dover 31 4 20th Patrice Diawara Dover 33 4 </pre>

We’d done well. We’d won the FA Cup, the UEFA Cup (twice), and the premiership. It had been quite a run… but part of me felt like we still had more to do, like we were only halfway in what we needed to achieve.

I was assured of winning the Premiership Manager of the Year, a small consolation that glossed over the fact that no Dover players were named in the Team of the Year.

I had that feeling again in the pit of my stomach. As I looked around at the celebrating fans in the stadium, on the street that night, and later during our parade through the streets of Dover… I couldn’t help knowing what it was.

It was love. I loved the fans of Dover. I loved my team at Dover. I loved Dover. This little part of England, my home, my place of refuge, meant more to me than I could express. It had changed me…

Dover wasn’t just a part of England… source and target of my hate… it was part of me, part of my soul. I never wanted to leave. It had made me a better and less bitter man, a more calm and rational person.

The crowd continued to chant long into the night as the revels went on and on… and I couldn’t help myself from joining in:

“Dover… Champions! Dover… Champions! Dover… Champions!”

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> ********** Dover Athletic - Sunday 20th May 2007**********========== Squad==========No Name Position(s) Nat Born Age Caps Gls Wages Expires Value---------------1 Abiven, Olivier GK FRA 9.8.79 27 - - £4.8K 1.6.11 £2.4M 27 Aimar, Maximiliano D C ARG 11.4.78 29 - - £2.3K 21.6.11 £2.2M 22 Bailly, Cyril SW C FRA 1.5.73 34 - - £4.4K 5.6.08 Free 32 Baticle, Régis SW/D LC FRA 12.4.86 21 - - £8.25K 26.6.12 £2.6M 17 Bridard, Didier DM RLC FRA 26.8.73 33 - - £8.75K 22.6.09 £1.1M 25 Calleja, Pascal M R FRA 14.10.84 22 - - £7.5K 26.6.11 £4M 16 Candela, Stéphane S C FRA 14.11.85 21 - - £675 27.6.10 Free 13 Chevalier, Guillaume GK FRA 22.4.80 27 - - £1.9K 6.5.10 £1.2M 18 Christie, Martin D/DM C SCO 1.8.81 25 - - £6.5K 15.6.11 £1.5M 37 Clark, Ian AM/F C SCO 9.8.83 23 - - £5K 28.6.11 £3.7M 10 Craig, Michael S C SCO 7.6.81 25 18 5 £8.5K 26.6.12 £8.25M - Cunningham, John D C SCO 15.3.89 18 - - £775 1.6.09 £325K 19 Cunningham, Kevin F RC SCO 25.4.88 19 - - £550 17.6.08 £1.1M 31 Delaunay, Michael D/DM LC FRA 10.6.80 26 - - £1.3K Rolling Free 6 Diawara, Patrice D C FRA 10.8.79 27 - - £5K 3.6.08 £3.2M 24 Faivre, Grégory D L FRA 15.6.74 32 - - £2.9K 28.5.08 Free 39 Foulon, Fabien F LC FRA 28.12.86 20 - - £8K 11.6.12 £2.1M 30 Fraser, Alan AM C SCO 19.2.80 27 - - £4K 25.6.11 £2M 38 Gatumel, Hervé GK FRA 8.1.86 21 - - £5.25K 20.6.11 £900K 35 Hughes, Andrew D C SCO 3.4.85 22 - - £3.9K 23.6.11 £1.2M 5 Joly, Nasser SW/D C FRA 19.1.80 27 - - £5.75K 14.6.11 £2M 23 Kangulungu, Pascal D RC FRA 6.3.74 33 - - £4K 10.6.08 £210K 9 Lamont, Michael S C SCO 8.10.78 28 4 1 £800 21.5.07 £9K 2 Landrin, Fabrice D RC FRA 6.7.86 20 - - £3.6K 21.6.11 £1.1M 21 Lavagne, Fabrice D/AM C FRA 12.9.72 34 - - £3.3K 28.6.08 Free 33 Lecocq, Pascal S C FRA 5.8.79 27 - - £6K 8.6.11 £3.7M 11 MacLeod, Gary AM L SCO 14.5.74 33 - - £4.5K 28.6.08 £1.3M 29 Main, David D/M L SCO 13.1.79 28 - - £3.5K 28.5.10 £2.1M 8 McCabe, John DM C SCO 5.7.71 35 - - £9.25K 6.6.10 £400K 34 McIntyre, Danny D/DM R SCO 10.9.84 22 - - £1.1K 2.6.10 £250K 20 McNab, Marc D L SCO 26.4.78 29 - - £1.3K 6.5.10 £1.3M 7 O'Neill, Mark M R SCO 3.8.81 25 - - £5.25K 2.6.11 £2.4M - Olivier, Eric D C FRA 10.1.83 24 - - £4.2K 27.6.11 £1.2M 36 Oumouri, Gilles GK FRA 21.5.88 18 - - £2K 2.6.09 £250K 15 Paterson, Gary F RC SCO 22.2.84 23 - - £1.4K 25.6.10 £3M 28 Perez, David SW/D RC FRA 5.6.78 28 - - £2K 21.6.12 £2.2M 3 Poggi, Daniel D LC FRA 10.2.74 33 1 - £7K 14.6.09 £1.2M 12 Quinn, Stuart DM C SCO 2.1.82 25 - - £8K 23.6.12 £2.7M 26 Rae, Mark AM R SCO 23.7.77 29 - - £5K 12.6.11 £1.8M 14 Robertson, Mark D C SCO 11.1.74 33 - - £5.25K 2.6.09 Free 4 Thomson, Ian D/DM C SCO 19.8.84 22 - - £4.4K 2.6.10 £2.1M ========== 2006/7 Senior Club Stats==========No Name Apps Gls Con Pens Asts Yel Red MoM Av R------------1 Abiven, Olivier 58 0 24 0 0 0 0 2 7.33 27 Aimar, Maximiliano 46 (1) 2 0 1 (1) 2 5 0 2 7.34 22 Bailly, Cyril 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 32 Baticle, Régis 16 (3) 0 0 0 2 3 0 0 7.21 17 Bridard, Didier 45 (4) 5 0 0 4 7 0 3 7.27 25 Calleja, Pascal 28 5 0 0 9 6 1 3 7.46 16 Candela, Stéphane 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 13 Chevalier, Guillaume 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 18 Christie, Martin 0 (4) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.75 37 Clark, Ian 46 (1) 13 0 1 (1) 11 0 0 7 7.19 10 Craig, Michael 41 (1) 28 0 2 (1) 0 1 0 6 7.64 - Cunningham, John - - - - - - - - ---- 19 Cunningham, Kevin 3 (26) 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.76 31 Delaunay, Michael 0 (1) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.00 6 Diawara, Patrice 51 0 0 0 2 8 0 4 7.33 24 Faivre, Grégory 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 39 Foulon, Fabien 4 (3) 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 7.14 30 Fraser, Alan 4 (3) 1 0 0 2 2 0 0 6.57 38 Gatumel, Hervé 1 (9) 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 7.00 35 Hughes, Andrew 3 (5) 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.75 5 Joly, Nasser 15 (3) 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 7.00 23 Kangulungu, Pascal 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 9 Lamont, Michael 8 (8) 3 0 0 3 0 0 1 7.06 2 Landrin, Fabrice 12 (9) 0 0 0 0 4 2 0 6.67 21 Lavagne, Fabrice 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 33 Lecocq, Pascal 9 (29) 5 0 0 5 2 0 2 6.92 11 MacLeod, Gary 47 2 0 0 8 3 0 0 7.06 29 Main, David 8 (3) 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 6.82 8 McCabe, John 39 (1) 3 1 0 5 11 0 9 7.50 34 McIntyre, Danny 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 20 McNab, Marc 11 (1) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.83 7 O'Neill, Mark 23 1 0 0 2 1 0 0 7.17 - Olivier, Eric 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 36 Oumouri, Gilles 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 15 Paterson, Gary 7 (16) 2 0 0 0 1 0 0 6.83 28 Perez, David 47 (3) 0 0 0 7 5 0 4 7.50 3 Poggi, Daniel 35 (4) 3 0 0 2 6 0 2 7.33 12 Quinn, Stuart 30 (6) 3 0 0 2 4 0 3 7.08 26 Rae, Mark 8 (2) 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 6.90 14 Robertson, Mark 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 4 Thomson, Ian 4 (14) 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 7.06 ========== 2006/7 Transfers==========Date Player In From Fee-------------22.6.06 Maximiliano Aimar Toulouse £400K 23.6.06 Didier Bridard Sedan £500K 24.6.06 Stuart Quinn Hibs £2.1M 24.6.06 Andrew Hughes Rangers £1.3M 24.6.06 David Perez Racing CP £230K 16.7.06 Daniel Poggi Paris-SG £550K 6.8.06 Ian Clark Ross County £1M 20.8.06 Hervé Gatumel Toulouse £575K 9.9.06 Pascal Lecocq Dijon £300K 27.9.06 Pascal Calleja Lorient £600K 15.12.06 Eric Olivier Lyon £350K 31.12.06 Régis Baticle Sedan £825K 16.3.07 Fabien Foulon Châteauroux £1M ========== 2006/7 Fixtures==========Date Opposition Ven Competition Res Attend Scorers-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------27.7.06 Kaiserslautern GER H Friendly 0:0 1604 30.7.06 Ajax HOL H Friendly 0:0 1852 6.8.06 Auxerre FRA A Friendly 0:1 4057 9.8.06 Bastia FRA A Friendly 2:2 2055 O'Neill, Clark12.8.06 Avignon FRA A Friendly 4:0 2090 Clark 2 (1 pen), Paterson 213.8.06 Man Utd N Charity Shield 1:0 59336 Poggi19.8.06 Sunderland H Premier Division 1:0 19016 Craig22.8.06 Blackburn A Premier Division 0:0 32828 25.8.06 FC Bayern GER N Super Cup 0:1 18498 9.9.06 Nottm Forest H Premier Division 4:0 19011 Craig 3, Clark pen14.9.06 Banik Ostrava CZE A UEFA Cup 1st Rnd Leg 1 0:0 6949 17.9.06 Aston Villa A Premier Division 0:1 31737 23.9.06 Liverpool H Premier Division 1:0 19007 McCabe28.9.06 Banik Ostrava CZE H UEFA Cup 1st Rnd Leg 2 1:0 7095 Craig1.10.06 Chelsea A Premier Division 3:1 37324 Craig, Clark 24.10.06 Derby A Premier Division 2:1 33513 Clark, Craig14.10.06 Arsenal H Premier Division 1:1 19012 Craig19.10.06 Shelbourne IRL H UEFA Cup 2nd Rnd Leg 1 1:1 5720 Fraser22.10.06 Leeds H Premier Division 0:1 19021 25.10.06 Chesterfield A League Cup 3rd Rnd 0:0 5807 28.10.06 Bolton A Premier Division 1:0 24209 Lecocq2.11.06 Shelbourne IRL A UEFA Cup 2nd Rnd Leg 2 1:0 7786 Aimar5.11.06 Watford A Premier Division 1:0 25800 Clark8.11.06 Southampton A League Cup 4th Rnd 0:1 10604 11.11.06 Ipswich A Premier Division 1:0 27808 Calleja18.11.06 Man Utd H Premier Division 1:0 19046 McCabe23.11.06 Gueugnon FRA H UEFA Cup 3rd Rnd Leg 1 2:0 12428 Clark, K.Cunningham26.11.06 Fulham A Premier Division 2:0 23818 Calleja, Lecocq2.12.06 Everton H Premier Division 0:2 19005 7.12.06 Gueugnon FRA A UEFA Cup 3rd Rnd Leg 2 2:0 9692 Bridard, Paterson10.12.06 Birmingham A Premier Division 3:1 26708 Poggi, Craig 2 (1 pen)16.12.06 Tottenham H Premier Division 0:0 19008 20.12.06 Wolves H Premier Division 1:0 20648 Calleja23.12.06 Derby H Premier Division 1:0 19028 Lecocq26.12.06 Sunderland A Premier Division 4:1 42189 Clark 3, Craig30.12.06 Charlton A Premier Division 0:0 19477 1.1.07 Wolves A Premier Division 4:0 23341 Craig 2, K.Cunningham, Quinn6.1.07 Wolves A FA Cup 3rd Rnd 2:1 12399 K.Cunningham, Clark13.1.07 Blackburn H Premier Division 1:0 19002 Craig20.1.07 Nottm Forest A Premier Division 1:0 30213 Bridard27.1.07 West Ham A FA Cup 4th Rnd 2:0 30211 MacLeod, Lecocq3.2.07 Aston Villa H Premier Division 4:0 19003 Hughes, Craig 2, Bridard7.2.07 Arsenal A Premier Division 1:3 34534 Calleja10.2.07 Chelsea H Premier Division 0:0 19016 17.2.07 Brighton H FA Cup 5th Rnd 2:0 6622 Bridard, Quinn24.2.07 Liverpool A Premier Division 1:1 39799 Craig1.3.07 Hertha BSC GER A UEFA Cup 4th Rnd Leg 1 1:0 50034 Craig4.3.07 Watford H Premier Division 3:0 20235 Craig, Bridard, K.Cunningham8.3.07 Hertha BSC GER H UEFA Cup 4th Rnd Leg 2 3:0 12520 Lamont 310.3.07 Tottenham H FA Cup Qtr Final 0:1 12540 15.3.07 Helsingborg SWE A UEFA Cup Qtr Final Leg 1 2:0 12813 McCabe, Clark18.3.07 Bolton H Premier Division 2:0 19001 Clark 222.3.07 Helsingborg SWE H UEFA Cup Qtr Final Leg 2 1:0 13159 Paterson31.3.07 Leeds A Premier Division 3:1 35423 Calleja, Craig, Quinn5.4.07 Paris-SG FRA A UEFA Cup Semi Final Leg 1 2:0 42349 Craig 29.4.07 Ipswich H Premier Division 2:2 19009 Craig 214.4.07 Man Utd A Premier Division 0:1 58872 19.4.07 Paris-SG FRA H UEFA Cup Semi Final Leg 2 0:2 12529 22.4.07 Everton A Premier Division 4:0 46443 Craig 2, MacLeod, Poggi28.4.07 Birmingham H Premier Division 3:1 19005 Craig 2, Aimar pen2.5.07 Fulham H Premier Division 3:0 19903 Lecocq, O'Neill, K.Cunningham5.5.07 Tottenham A Premier Division 1:1 31770 Foulon16.5.07 Inter ITA N UEFA Cup Final 0:0 50955 20.5.07 Charlton H Premier Division 0:0 19922 </pre>

retired_swmchick2006

“Hey Mr. K… Mr. K…wake up… MR.K!... MR. K!!!!!”

I flinched in my chair, blinking my eyes as I slow came awake.

“Goodness, Mr. K, I thought you’d never wake up. Don’t you know what time it is? Moaning in your sleep… you should be at home in bed... carrying on like that.... Have you been here all night?”

I blinked a few more times. My office was still dark, and the blinds must still have been pulled down. “Must have dozed off.” I looked at where the voice was coming from. A middle-aged cleaning woman was standing on the other side of my desk. “Big party last night…”

“Party? I don’t know anything about a party Mr. K. You’ve been working pretty hard since the last game of the season… I know that Mr. K… I may not know much… but I do know how hard you have been working.”

“Well… it has been an eventful year…” I yawned, and then it dawned on me. “Um, why are you calling me ‘Mr. K’”?

She took a trash bin out into the hall and dumped it into a bigger one, “Well, sir, ever since you gone and got married it’s a bit of a bother to be constantly calling you Mr. Bryan Keating-Alk….”

“What are talking about,” I interrupted, “That’s not my name. I’m not even married…”

“Sure, you are, Mr. K” she said nodding as she went about her work.

That just confused me more. “Wait a minute… did you say ‘Keating’?”

“That’s right. The former Miss Ellen Keating… that journalist who made such a fuss over your style of management a few years back…”

“What!” I screamed. I stood up and kicked the chair back from the desk. “Me? Married to that English nationalist troll? You must be joking…”

She laughed, “Well, sir… I weren’t the one who said it, but if that’s how you feel, you should keep your wife from hearing that.”

I looked at her through squinted eyes. “You must be pulling my leg.”

Now she looked serious too. “Certainly not, Mr. K.”

“Okay. Let’s get this straight. I am a football manager. My squad is made up of Frenchmen and Scotsmen only...”

She nodded. “Sure is.”

“And last season, we won the title!” I finished.

“What title?” she said, now looking very concerned.

“The premiership title!” I shouted. “This is absurd!" I paced around a bit. "Dover won the premiership title last year!”

“I don’t know anything about that.” She said, eyes wide. “I think you’ll find that Chelsea won the league last year.”

“Chelsea! Ha! Now I know you’re pulling my leg… they finished sixth…” I shook my head. “That stupid London club came no where near the title.”

She stared at me. “Well… I’m not going to argue with you about it. But that is a funny sentiment coming from the manager of West Ham. ‘Stupid London’ indeed.” She sniffed, and looked offended.

“London? West Ham? You must be barking mad. Dover. Dooo-verrr. Dover Athletic. We’re ‘in’ Dover.”

Now she just stared at me for a few seconds before slowly walking over to the window. I watched her as she raised the blinds. “I think you’ll notice,” she said carefully, “that we most certainly are not in Dover.”

I looked out the window.

I looked out the window at London.

“Mr. K? Mr. K! MR.K!....”

The last sound I heard before waking up in hospital was the dull thump of my face hitting the floor.

retired_amyslack

Very interesting - what are you and the Hickster up to I wonder???

retired_brianrt

good stuff attjen, just cayght up with this. great achievement winning the league

retired_swmchick2006

Bob: Sherm: Thanks!

---

My name is Pascal McIntosh… and I hate you.

Unless it is not… or unless I don’t.

It is all very… confusing.

I suppose you can just call me ‘K’.

When I awoke in the hospital, after several days, my mind was still in a shambles. I could remember everything so clearly, except for everything around me. It was like I had stepped into one of my own nightmares. I kept looking for Rod Serling.

Doctors?

Oh yes, quite a few doctors. The first of them said I had suffered a mild heart attack, possibly brought on by stress at work. Then some hinted that perhaps I had also suffered a mild stroke resulting in significant memory loss. Others felt it was the blow to the head suffered when I fell that caused temporary amnesia. The West Ham physios tried to play it down by saying I'd 'had a reaction to some medication'. In time, the only thing that was clear was that I was not myself.

I could have told them that.

In time, they took me from the emergency room to a private room. It had a lock on the door and I had to ring to bring in the nurse. Everyone was overly polite and concerned.

Shortly after came the doctors, of a different type, with the questions. What year is it? What is my name? Do you remember where you live?

But they didn’t like the answers I gave them. They didn’t like me telling them I thought I had lost 2 years of my life. They didn’t like my answers at all.

So I stopped answering… I just nodded my head. I just agreed with them. I just wanted to be left alone.

Visitors?

Oh yes. A few.

First was Ellen Keating. I recognized her. But I didn’t know her. It was an odd sensation. She cried, she hugged me, she stayed by my bedside.

She wasn’t ugly at least. I tried to talk to her about who I was, where I was, what we were… it didn’t go over well. She tried to be understanding. But in time, she said maybe I needed some space to recover.

Then came someone else. He introduced himself, but the name meant nothing to me. He said he was chairman of West Ham.

He seemed in awfully good spirits. He practically laughed out loud when the attendant told him that he would need to call for someone to open the door when he was ready to leave. He grinned noticeably as he saw how I was confined to my bed for an extended period of time.

It was disconcerting.

Then came some reporters. They didn’t stay long. I’ve never liked reporters.

I think.

Then came a person calling himself “Moreira”. I asked him, “Moreira what?” He seemed offended.

Then came some bozos claiming to be from something called the ‘alliance’. I didn’t know what the heck they were blathering on about.

They came back later to inform me that I’d better ‘get back to work’.

They came back later to inform me that: “My publicity stunt had bought me some time, but I could still be replaced.”

I have no idea what they meant.

And coincidentally, shortly after that the doctors told me that perhaps getting back into the office would do my mental state some good.

When I arrived back at the clubhouse some 2 months after the incident, I could barely focus on work at all.

When I arrived back at the clubhouse, I thought the driver was making a joke. “These facilities can’t possibly be for a Premiership club!” I screamed. (Later I asked if the chairman could improve our training facilities. He laughed for 5 minutes straight.)

My arm is sore from where I keep pinching it. But I never wake up.

It’s crowded here, and it makes my head hurt.

On day two or three at work, I noticed certain things started disappearing from my office. First was a metal letter opener shaped like a sword. Then my normal phone disappeared and was replaced with a cordless. I could never find any scissors. Nobody seemed to know where they had all gone to.

On day seven or eight, I began to be able to think about football.

I had too. It was too bl**dy crowded. A few players had even joined while I was in the hospital. I started demanding roster lists. Scouting reports. Coach reports. Physio reports. Then I started writing notes about transfer listing players.

I was ignored at first. Then I started getting really angry. Then people started paying attention.

Whatever had been going on at the club. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t Dover, it wasn’t ‘my’ Dover… but I’d bl**dy well make it as much like Dover as I could. My tactic. My player choices.

There were some very good ones, I couldn’t deny that, but I needed wingers, I needed leaders.

What I didn’t need was useless bodies.

I cut coaches. I cut scouts. And then I began cutting loose players.

By god, if this was where I had to live and exist, they would certainly have to listen to me.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> ****************************************** West Ham United - Sunday 16th August 2009******************************************==== ====================================== Squad==========================================No Name Position(s) Nat Born Age Caps Gls Wages Expires Value-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------6 Archibald, Alan D LC SCO 13.12.77 31 - - £10.75K 26.6.12 £1.5M 23 Badiane, Jacques AM RLC FRA 17.6.90 19 - - £1.3K 11.6.14 £1M 19 Baldé, Boubacar S C FRA 11.2.86 23 - - £1.8K 28.6.10 £500K - Barré, Yannick AM C FRA 16.1.89 20 - - £1K 9.6.13 £500K 22 Boyack, Steven M RC SCO 4.9.76 32 - - £8.75K 28.6.10 £775K - Brebner, Grant AM C SCO 6.12.77 31 - - £7.5K 13.6.11 £500K 40 Caldwell, Chris S C SCO 4.10.88 20 - - £4.9K 23.5.12 £2.4M 7 Camara, Ibrahima M RC FRA 1.1.85 24 - - £8K 28.6.13 £3.7M - Carlier, Rudy S C FRA 2.5.86 23 - - £4.2K 28.6.11 £500K - Casanova, Patrick AM LC FRA 27.4.87 22 - - £1.2K 23.6.11 £500K 3 Crainey, Stephen D LC SCO 22.6.79 30 62 1 £29K 1.6.13 £4M 17 Denquin, Frédéric AM/F LC FRA 3.6.88 21 - - £2.4K 1.6.14 £4.5M 20 Deroff, Yves D/DM R FRA 29.8.78 30 - - £6.5K 8.6.11 £1.1M 33 Diane, Ugo SW/D C FRA 4.4.87 22 - - £3.1K 16.6.13 £2.3M - Didot, Lionel D/DM RC FRA 2.3.89 20 - - £2K 8.6.13 £500K 5 Distin, Sylvain D LC FRA 16.12.75 33 - - £12.25K 19.6.11 £500K 46 Duffy, Bobby DM RC SCO 3.4.91 18 - - £1.1K 2.6.12 £800K 35 Ettori, Patrick F C FRA 24.6.87 22 - - £1.3K 10.6.13 £2.8M - Goursat, Eric DM RC FRA 1.5.88 21 - - £2.3K 25.6.10 £825K 45 Hay, Mark AM LC SCO 24.12.90 18 - - £900 16.6.12 £1.4M 12 Howie, Willie AM C SCO 9.7.82 27 - - £7.5K 20.6.10 £1M 4 Innes, Mark M LC SCO 27.9.78 30 - - £8.25K 13.6.11 £1M 47 Jack, Stephen DM C SCO 28.4.91 18 - - £1.5K 28.6.12 £1.2M 31 Konaté, Alain D RC FRA 16.5.86 23 - - £2.6K 11.6.13 £1.9M 1 Langfield, Jamie GK SCO 22.12.79 29 11 - £12.25K 1.6.14 £4.2M - Malacarne, Franck F C FRA 8.9.87 21 - - £1.6K 3.6.14 £500K - Marsiglia, Steven D/DM C FRA 22.8.86 22 - - £2.7K 6.6.13 £500K 41 Maurice, Alain AM/F R FRA 8.10.88 20 - - £625 5.6.14 £1.4M 2 McCunnie, Jamie D/DM R SCO 15.4.83 26 9 - £9.5K 6.6.13 £3.7M - McLaughlin, Paul DM C SCO 12.2.84 25 - - £1.2K 19.6.10 £1M 24 Miller, Lee S C SCO 26.5.83 26 - - £11K 17.6.12 £4.1M 16 Mondafu, Gabriel S C FRA 18.5.77 32 1 - £22K 6.6.11 £250K 13 Montgomery, Kevin GK SCO 10.3.86 23 - - £1.7K 20.6.14 £1.2M 9 Moreira F RC FRA 8.8.77 32 - - £27K 10.6.10 £3.2M 18 Murray, Ian SW/D/DM LC SCO 20.3.81 28 - - £9.5K 20.6.10 £1.9M 14 Narey, Steven D R SCO 29.9.83 25 - - £8.25K 17.6.15 £2.8M 10 O'Connor, Gary S C SCO 7.5.83 26 28 9 £28.5K 1.6.14 £7.75M - Robertson, Andy M C SCO 1.3.88 21 - - £1.3K 8.6.13 £250K 11 Robson, Barry AM LC SCO 7.11.78 30 - - £9.5K 2.6.11 £3.3M - Ryan, Billy D/S C SCO 26.12.89 19 - - £1.2K 27.6.12 £250K 37 Smith, Michael SW/DM C SCO 21.9.87 21 - - £3K 4.6.13 £1.9M 8 Stewart, Michael DM C SCO 26.2.79 30 2 - £16K 26.6.12 £2.6M 25 Stewart, William D C SCO 6.9.83 25 - - £10K 28.6.15 £1.4M - Tanguy, Christian GK FRA 15.12.85 23 - - £2.1K 28.6.12 £100K - Veigneau, Olivier D/DM R FRA 16.8.85 24 - - £2.5K 5.6.14 £250K 21 Vosahlo, Anthony D/DM RLC FRA 14.1.75 34 - - £8.25K 5.6.10 £250K 29 Walker, Paul GK SCO 4.3.86 23 - - £1.1K 20.6.14 £550K 15 Weir, Graham S C SCO 10.7.84 25 9 1 £7K 20.6.10 £2.6M =================================== 2009/0 Transfers===================================Date Player In From Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------3.6.09 Bobby Duffy Blackpool £375K 5.6.09 Michael Smith Dunfermline £1M 9.6.09 Andy Robertson Rangers £300K 11.6.09 Patrick Ettori Rennes Bos 16.6.09 Shaun Evans Newcastle £1.2M 17.6.09 Mark Hay Rangers £250K 28.6.09 Stephen Jack Motherwell £425K 25.7.09 Steven Narey Leicester £2.9M 27.7.09 Paul Walker Norwich £1.1M 5.8.09 William Stewart Crewe £850K 8.8.09 Alain Maurice Montpellier £1.7M 12.8.09 Jacques Badiane Marseille £1.3M Date Player Out To Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------2.6.09 Laurent Montanier Released Free 2.6.09 William King Released Free 2.6.09 Kevin McLaughlin Released Free 17.7.09 Ian Gibson Released Free 17.7.09 Jean Bernard Brunet Released Free 17.7.09 Gareth Evans Released Free 17.7.09 Ronnie Sinclair Released Free 17.7.09 Nicolas Bait Released Free 24.7.09 Landry Bonnefoi Arsenal £2.7M 27.7.09 Jim Lauchlan Leicester £750K 2.8.09 Shaun Evans Bradford £1.1M 5.8.09 Mark Bruce Released Free 5.8.09 Loïc Giraudon Released Free 5.8.09 Mark Watt Released Free 5.8.09 Christophe Henry Released Free </pre>

retired_swmchick2006

I sat with goalkeeper Jamie Langfield on September 20th, the day after our 4th league match. He was slouched in the chair opposite my desk, calm and contented.

“Jamie,” I said, “You’ve been really crap.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve been terrible.”

“Now…. I don’t think that’s quite fair coach…”

“Shall I count the ways?”

“Uh…”

“I guess I should,” I continued. “First game of the season against Sunderland: Team is performing very well, solid defensive performance all around, no shots through 90 minutes. What happens? You give up a freekick goal in the 90th minute… Not just any freekick, but one from well outside… which you didn’t even react to try and save. We lose 1-0. That’s a point gone right there…”

“But…”

“2nd league game against Manchester United: Again, solid team performance… We’ve gone a goal up 35th minute thanks to a Weir striker… What happens?”

“Well…”

“I’ll tell you what happens… Ronaldo chips you from long distance. He was standing in the bl**dy center circle and he chips you!” I paused. “Though perhaps I should give you a break. You did actually have to save one other shot that day. Maybe you were tired, maybe that’s why we threw away 2 points in the 1-1 draw…”

“Er…”

“Third league game against Bolton? Well, you just give away an early goal to ex-West Ham player Mondafu on the only shot you see all day, and we lose 1-0. Truly fantastic…”

“….”

“And now… with a 2-0 lead thanks to Denquin and O’Conner yesterday against Ipswich…. With us dominating the game and having outshot them 10 to none… you give up 2 goals in 20 minutes to throw away another 2 points.” I paused again. “Ah… but you say ‘we should have been up by more goals’… fair point, fair point, but you know the opposition actually has a goalkeeper who tries to stop shots…”

He was silent for a moment. “Well, I’ve been playing well in Europe right?”

“Europe!” I chortled. “Yes, you were really tested in that 3-0 win over Norrkoping… almost had to jump for that shot that went into the stands. In the return leg, you may have had to turn your head twice to see those two shots go wide in our 1-0 win. As for Stuttgart, yes, you could be well pleased you saved their one shot from open play. Shame you made no effort on the penalty and forced us to accept a 2-1 win. Goal differential is vital in these matches!” I thumped my hand on the table.

“Well, no worries boss,” he said nonchalantly. “I’ll be on form soon, no worries.”

I stared at him. He really didn’t get it. “You really don’t get it. You are going to the reserves. I have two keepers itching to show they are ready for first team football. And You! You’ve shown me you aren’t….”

“But… but…”

“Now get out of my office…” He moved to the door. “And don’t get comfortable in the reserves either, I have no qualms shipping you out first chance I get!”

His replacement, and new signing Paul Walker went straight in to the line-up for our next match, against Willem II in the Champions League. A good solid performance from him and the rest of the team, topped by an O’Conner brace gave us 2 wins in two Group stage games.

He had another shut-out, though he was never tested, in the league match that followed. A fairly dreary 0-0 draw, which we really should have been able to take 3 points from.

Sure, we got destroyed by a long ball counter-attacking Sporting side in Portugal during a 3-0 loss. But that was thanks to 2 late goals, and absolutely no defensive support.

And yes, Walker did give up a goal against Newcastle. But we had been completely outplayed in the 1st half, and with a goal from O’Conner in the 2nd the draw was a good result in the end.

We were back in form with the shut-out that followed in the brilliant 2-0 win over Arsenal in our first derby game of the year. Walker was named man of the match as we got a goal from a new signing, young Badiane, and another O’Conner and just held off the home side who pressed hard for a point.

I hopefully thought we might be turning the season around.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> 1st Newcastle 8 2 2 0 6 4 3 1 0 7 1 18 ------------2nd Chelsea 8 2 2 0 3 0 3 1 0 5 1 18 ...12th Bolton 8 2 1 1 6 4 1 0 3 5 8 10 13th West Ham 7 0 2 2 1 3 1 2 0 5 3 7 14th Liverpool 8 1 2 1 5 4 0 2 2 1 3 7 ...17th Man City 8 0 3 1 6 9 0 2 2 4 8 5 ------------18th Leicester 7 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 4 2 10 5 19th Norwich 8 1 2 1 6 7 0 0 4 0 7 5 20th Tottenham 8 0 0 4 1 7 1 1 2 4 7 4 Date Player In From Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------1.10.09 Olivier Andrès Nantes £600K Date Player Out To Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------29.8.09 Gabriel Mondafu Bolton £250K 1.9.09 Boubacar Baldé Charlton £1.3M 5.9.09 Paul McLaughlin Port Vale £250K 12.9.09 Willie Howie Huddersfield £250K </pre>

retired_jgirl87

I was stumped as to what was going on until I read Bob's cryptic comment and did some sleuthing of my own. Now it's all clear and as I said in EH's thread it's a unique chain of events. Good luck with this story. :thup:

retired_swmchick2006

After the Arsenal game, I felt like a bit of the fog that had settled in my head cleared away a bit. Perhaps the shock had worn off, but it was only then that I started to feel like maybe I needed to really start to figure out what might have happened to me.

I sat in my office tapping my forehead with my finger. “No use waiting,” I said to myself, and took out a blank sheet of paper and wrote on it:

1) My name was Pascal McIntosh, but now it is not.

I thought for a moment, then added:

2) I was manager of Dover, but now I’m manager of West Ham
3) I have lost 2 years, somewhere.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

A late goal from Lee Miller gave us a 1-0 win against Sporting to give us 9 points through 4 games in the group stage. We should have gotten more goals, but couldn’t catch a break.

I was growing increasingly frustrated with the play of certain ‘prima-donnas’ at the club. The seemed to accept being part of a ‘loser culture’ which was not acceptable.

It showed in the 1-1 league draw with Southampton that followed. We were lucky to get a point thanks to Walker and a goal from Michael Stewart.

The ‘loser culture’ was getting infective. Two counter-attacks by Stuttgart in front of our home fans and we were defeated 2-0.

Back-to-back games against Tottenham were next. After a 0-0 league game at home we should probably have won, we crashed out of the league cup 2-1 after giving up a late goal. We’d even gone to the 4-4-2 for the cup game, but our offense looked anemic as ever.

New signing William Stewart was unfairly attacked by the media after that game, and I had to defend him. (Later though, he got angry that I considered his attitude unprofessional and asked for an immediate transfer which I refused. I still have hopes he’ll bounce back in morale.)

All of the over-rated players were now really starting to get on my nerves. O’Conner and Moreira were beginning to moan about our league position. Both those overpaid players were listed immediately. O’Conner’s early season form had vanished completely and his salary was for far more than what he was showing on the pitch. Especially with two or three promising strikers ready to take his place.

As for all the wasters in the reserves, I kept reducing their price hoping somebody would come sniffing around. Sylvain Distin was particularly annoying, refusing negotiations with 4 or 5 clubs who offered decent cash. Lower and lower my prices went to try and shove them out the door.

In the meantime, I kept trying to find role players to fit my system. Mostly I had been signing players that were already on ‘my’ shortlist, though I had no idea who they were. A thought hit me. I asked my scouts if anyone had ever heard of a striker called Michael Craig. After a day they gave me nothing, never heard of any decent striker with that name. I tried another: Pascal Calleja. Again nothing. I gave a few more names: Abiven, Max Aimar, John McCabe. Nothing.

I took a day to travel to Dover and poke around a bit. Everything looked familiar, but none of the people knew me, or were people I knew. It was like the place had been populated with a totally new set of human beings.

So that was something. I wrote it onto my list:

4) No one is the same. Totally different players. Totally different people.

I looked at this for a moment… that was wrong. I wrote:

5) Except for Ellen Keating.

I stared at it. What could that mean? Our relationship had been odd since my recovery, but fair. Mostly we co-existed peacefully. She had said she was respecting my injuries and allowing me some time find myself again. She had spent a few weeks away from home with family, and then began gingerly working herself into my daily routine. We’d just started eating breakfast together every morning. She was pleasant, usually kind…

But, what could this mean? Why her the same, and everyone else different? Or was she the same even? Was it a coincidence?

I drummed my fingers on the desk, deep in thought. I circled her name. This could take some investigation. An investigation I needed to follow. But right now I had to manage the club.

We dominated Willem II in the last match of the 1st Group Stage, winning 2-0 after putting 9 shot on target, with man of the match Denquin a constant threat. Twelve points should have been enough to advance in the competition… but as our season seems to be going… it wasn’t. Sporting bent over for Stuttgart and the German club’s 1-0 win was enough to kick us out on goal differential. (Langfield saw himself listed just minutes after the game.)

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> Phase 1 Group APos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts----------------------------------1st Q Sporting POR 6 3 0 0 6 0 1 0 2 3 3 12 2nd Q VfB Stuttgar GER 6 2 0 1 5 3 2 0 1 5 2 12 --------------------------------3rd West Ham ENG 6 2 0 1 3 2 2 0 1 4 4 12 4th Willem II HOL 6 0 0 3 2 8 0 0 3 1 7 0 </pre>

Denquin scored with a freekick to give us a 1-0 win over Birmingham in the next league match, and then we probably should have more than 0-0 draw at Watford in the next match.

At least we knew the defense could be solid. We’d been playing the 4-4-2 since the league cup game, and if our form wasn’t great, it hadn’t gotten worse. We destroyed BATE in our first leg encounter in the UEFA Cup 3-0 thanks to a man of the match performance from Badiane (young blood is better than over-rated elders), and goals from Moreira (with a lucky strike), Michael Smith, and Lee Miller (eager to prove he deserves the starting job).

Moreira was the worst player on the pitch in a 1-0 league loss to Blackburn, marking the end of the 4-4-2 stretch. Walker gave up the goal in a less than stellar game, but we should have been able to create more than 2 chances.

With more and more players being released on frees, my temper was at its highest, and when Moreira finally snapped and head-butted a player in the 12th minute versus Barnsley. I’d had enough. I fined him two weeks wages before he reached the locker room, and cut his price to send him packing at the winter transfer window. After screaming at the team for 20 minutes before during and after halftime, West Ham put in its best game of the season with a 10-man 1-0 win. Early West Ham player of the year candidate and captain Stephen Crainey curled in a freekick, and William Stewart showed why I rated him with a dominating performance in the back.

I hopefully thought we might be turning the season around.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> 1st Sunderland 15 5 0 2 13 9 6 1 1 12 6 34 ------------2nd Chelsea 13 4 2 0 8 0 6 1 0 9 1 33 3rd Man Utd 14 4 2 0 11 3 4 2 2 17 10 28 ...12th WEST HAM 13 1 3 3 2 4 2 4 0 7 4 16 13th Barnsley 15 2 2 3 5 7 1 3 4 5 10 14 ...17th Man City 14 1 4 2 8 12 0 4 3 8 13 11 ------------18th Bolton 13 2 2 3 9 12 1 0 5 7 14 11 19th Fulham 13 1 2 4 7 12 1 1 4 9 10 9 20th Leeds 15 0 3 5 5 12 0 4 3 6 13 7 Date Player Out To Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------22.10.09 Patrick Casanova Released Free 22.10.09 Eric Goursat Released Free 22.10.09 Yannick Barré Released Free 31.10.09 Billy Ryan Cheltenham £250K 8.11.09 Ibrahima Camara Bastia £85K 13.11.09 Jamie Langfield Man City £500K 22.11.09 Franck Malacarne Released Free 22.11.09 Andy Robertson Released Free 23.11.09 Yves Deroff Charlton £110K 26.11.09 Sylvain Distin Toulouse Free 26.11.09 Rudy Carlier Nîmes Free 27.11.09 Steven Boyack Stoke Free 30.11.09 Grant Brebner Crystal Palace Free </pre>

retired_swmchick2006

I woke up one night, shortly after the Barnsley game, head throbbing, hand and limbs cold as ice, and in a panic stricken state. As I slept, it had felt as if someone had been poking around in my mind… almost as if I could feel them turning the pages of the book of my thoughts…

No… that’s not quite right… it was as though they were flicking through my memories…

I must have screamed, because Ellen came into the living room (we were still sleeping apart) shortly after I woke, turned on the light and asked me if I was okay. I shook my head no, saying I had had a “nightmare or something” and she put her arms around me.

I must have flinched, because she moved away and sat in the chair opposite the fold-away bed. She stared at me, though her face remained inscrutable.

I won’t deny that once I had begun my investigations, our relationship had gotten worse. I must have treated her with obvious suspicion because she was rarely answering my questions fully. Yet… I couldn’t tell if she was hiding something… or just afraid. Afraid that I wasn’t at all the man she had married. Which I wasn’t, of course.

And still… she was being very kind and understanding to me, and I also can’t deny that having a familiar face in this sea of uncertainty was helpful. I wanted to cling to her… or at least the idea of her… as a link to my former reality at Dover.

“Have you ever been to Dover?” I asked quickly.

She started a bit, probably due to the fact that we had been silent for several minutes, and said, “No, not that I recall, but maybe once when I was a kid. Why do you ask?”

“I went a few weeks ago.” She raised her eyebrows a bit. “To try and see what I remembered.”

“And?”

“Everything was exactly as I expected… except for all the people.”

“Oh.”

I thought for a moment. “Tell me about our wedding.”

Eyebrows raised again, she asked, “Having trouble remembering again? Like in the hospital?”

“Yes. Plus, it would be nice to hear about something pleasant.”

She paused and said somewhat curtly, “A small ceremony. Close friends only. Judge’s chambers.”

Not really what I had in mind. I thought for a moment again. “What do you think of my managing?”

“In general or specific?”

“Specific.” After she didn’t answer, I said, “the nationality aspect in particular.”

“Ah…” she smiled. It was a pleasant smile on her round face. “I hate it of course… you know that…. Or knew that. That’s the first thing we argued about when we met.” She looked sad now, but still smiled. “It was the only thing we argued about. We argued about it before your incident… I told you the stress of your approach wasn’t good for your health, and that you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That a West Ham club of Frenchmen and Scotsman would be the death of you.”

“You told me that before my collapse?” I asked.

“Yes. In fact, you were in the middle of trying to decide if you would bother with another season or not.”

I sat puzzled. “I don’t remember that,” I finally muttered.

“Of course you don’t,” she said, and she came over and kissed the top of my head, and turned the light off as she left the room.

When I got to the office the next day I wrote:

6) West Ham could have been the death of ‘me’.

The next game was the home leg of the UEFA Cup versus BATE. With a 3-0 aggregate lead already, we allowed several players a game off. After Ettori scored early, it was never in doubt. O’Conner had a fine hattrick that granted his removal from the transfer list, but he was still not guaranteed a first team spot. He clearly had talent… but could we harness it effectively?

He got the start against Middlesbrough in the league match that followed. The visitor’s scored from a set piece, their only chance, while we only created 3 chances in the entire game. Walker’s single lapse gave them the win, though most of the team played quite well, particularly Crainey.

Away at Leicester, and O’Conner was given the start again, and used his speed to control a quickly taken freekick and sprint at goal, shooting high into the corner for a 1-0 road win. Walker bounce back well from a poor day, and was named man of the match.

Away at Liverpool for the next match, and we shocked the home side with a 2-0 win. Recent signing at defensive midfield Mathieu Bodmer scored his first of the season with an excellent run from deep and Ettori clinched the game with a goal late. This was the first time we had back-to-back wins in league play.

Around this time we finally sent Moreira packing. Good riddance says I. We had back-up defender Diane make a fuss about how we would never be able 'turn the club around' by getting rid of players like Moreira. Diane was sent packing shortly afterwards.

We faced Arsenal next, in a challenging derby game. Denquin rifled a freekick into the Arsenal net in the 7th minute and then we celebrated as Maurice skipped past his marker to give us a 2-0 lead in the 14th. Although Arsenal pulled one back, Denquin sealed the win in the 2nd half to finish 3-1.

Now this was how I expected my team to play.

Unfortunately, the Arsenal game came on Boxing Day, a Saturday, and we were scheduled to play the following Monday, Wednesday, Saturday, and following Tuesday. A string of 5 games in 10 days.

The business of the schedule kept my mind off my situation, and on the road away from Ellen. During travel time I’d find myself wondering about her. My mind would flick back and forth, coming to no conclusion. Was she a victim of whatever had happened too? Was she the cause?

With Walker earning man of the match and Ettori scoring the opening goal, we hoped to steal a win at Sunderland, but we gave up a penalty and had to settle for a 1-1 draw.

We found the same result in the home against Fulham. This time we had to fight back with an unlikely goal from Ian Murray to get the point.

One-one again was the final score in the away match against leaders Chelsea. Although Narey converted a penalty early, Chelsea scored through Lampard and Bodmer was sent off late in the fairly nasty affair. Considering that we player fairly poorly, we were lucky for a point.

With our final game of this stretch away against giants Manchester United, we were hoping a point could be stolen again. Much to everyone’s surprise, two early headed goals past Tim Howard (one from O’Conner and one from Ettori gave us a solid lead, and although ManU did score shortly after, they were also reduced to 10-men in the 33rd. Crainey scored with a direct freekick just before the final whistle to give us a 3-1 win.

We were suddenly one of the hottest teams in the league, and it showed in the 2-0 win over Middlesbrough in the FA Cup that followed. Maurice and Lee Miller scored for West Ham.

We went back to Manchester to face the other team there, City, and got the same result as against United. Miller pounced on a rebound (given up by ex-West Ham player Langfield) to give us a lead, though City scored to tie it up by halftime. In the 54th, Miller scored again to give us back the lead and substitute striker McCulloch ran through the City defense in the 90th minute to make us certain of victory.

Exactly one month after we had faced them before, we were playing Leicester again. At that time we had been desperate for points, and now we were arguably the hottest team in the Premiership. With Lee Miller on scorching form we pleased our home fans with a 2-0 win.

We had climbed into the upper half of the league, and were challenging for a European place. As far as the title was concerned, it was obvious that Chelsea was beginning to separate from the pack in first place.

Now that… was something else that I just couldn’t wrap my head around. Chelsea was just too good.


<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> Date Player In From Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------15.12.09 Russell Anderson Dundee £1.2M 15.12.09 Mathieu Bodmer Nantes £2M 17.12.09 Kevin McCulloch Académica £1.2M 10.1.10 Lilian Roger Sunderland £220K Date Player Out To Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------15.12.09 Moreira Paris SG £2.3M 21.12.09 Mark Innes Stoke Free 25.12.09 Ugo Diane Wolves £100K </pre>

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts------------1st Chelsea 22 9 3 0 17 1 7 2 1 12 4 53 ------------2nd Man Utd 23 7 3 2 19 8 6 2 3 21 14 44 3rd Arsenal 22 7 2 3 19 9 6 1 3 19 12 42 4th Sunderland 22 6 1 4 16 14 7 1 3 16 11 41 5th Blackburn 23 5 4 2 18 13 6 1 5 14 14 38 6th WEST HAM 23 3 4 4 8 7 6 6 0 18 8 37 7th Southampton 22 7 2 3 18 9 3 3 4 11 11 35 8th Liverpool 23 6 2 4 18 13 4 3 4 10 8 35 </pre>

retired_swmchick2006

As I continued to try and understand what had happened to me, I allowed myself to get closer to Ellen. It wasn’t difficult, on the whole she was a good natured and pleasant person. As long as I avoided questioning her, or talking politics, she was good company. I was growing accustomed to relaxing around her and spending the evenings unwinding with a good meal and a movie. I could see how someone could fall in love with her and decide to get married. I wondered if I was now doing the same. The same as 'I' had done before?

But certainly, there was a bit of doubt in the back of my mind. It was confirmed after the Leicester game.

I had been taking some time earlier to look over former West Ham seasons, and tracking down reports in the press about the overall team. Most of the recent stuff focused on me and my collapse. Last seasons reports were sort of back and forth about whether West Ham could maintain there good form. It was fairly evenly split as to how many said yes and how many said no.

Then when I was back to about a season and a half ago, I found it. I had thought I would, seeing as how I knew what she might but it was good to get confirmation. “The danger to English football – the West Ham situation” by a writer listed as E.K. It was a familiar article, at least in style. At the bottom of the article was a hand-written note, probably from some coach who had seen it: “B.A. – Thought you’d enjoy this. What a crackpot, eh?” I looked up the paper’s name (a small suburb weekly) and noted down the number. I flipped through the rest of the reports a bit more, but didn’t see anything else.

When I called the paper, I asked about the article and who the author was, but the editor wasn’t at liberty to say, informing me that the author preferred to go only by initials. I asked him if anything else had been submitted by the writer… and he told me yes, and gave me the dates of the issues.

A trip to the library one evening had me looking them over. They covered a variety of topics, some football related, most not. They stretched over a good number of months from about March of last year back to about 2 years ago. But before that, nothing. E.K. had started writing for the weekly roughly 2 years ago… but what about before that?

I asked a librarian for some help searching for any other articles in any other papers by “Ellen Keating”. Nothing.

“But I did get a hit on a ‘within text search’,” she added after a moment. She pulled up the article. It was a short notice in a side panel: “Local woman collapses at train station, taken to area hospital”.

I looked at the date of the article. It was from May, almost exactly 2 years before my own collapse. That’s when I hired an investigator to do a little more digging.

In the 31st minute away at Leeds in the league game that followed, Denquin followed up a Miller header with an attempted chip over the prone keeper. The Leeds man did fantastically well to spring up and push it away, but much to his horror it fell directly back to Miller who pulled off a sweet chip shot of his own to give us a 1-0 lead that we held onto for the rest of the game. It had been an excellent road win.

We were satisfied with a solid 2-0 win over Crystal Palace in the FA Cup 4th round, with goals from Ettori and Murray taking us through.

After dominating the game against Norwich at home, back in league play, it took a fantastic bit of skill from Denquin to carry us to a 1-0 win. The player received a Maurice cross, dummied the ball for himself to carry his run past the player and drove the ball past a helpless keeper for his 5th of the season. It was the kind of goal we wanted to see from talent of his kind.

We’d now gone 11 games without defeat in league play, but it was to end in the very next match. Bolton were awarded an early penalty, and despite our team generally playing well (except for defender Andres, who was terrible), we could not find our way back into the game and gave up a late goal to lose 2-0.

It was difficult to complain, as to some degree our luck had finally caught up with us. Miller was rightfully awarded the player of the month award for January, as he’d scored 6 goals in league play.

One of my headaches was still the baffling attitude of William Stewart who we’d hope would be a guaranteed first team player. After his failure to come to grips with my unhappiness with his attitude, we’d dropped him into the reserves, he still groaned and complained, but coaches felt he might be coming around to the club afterall.

After our streak was over, I finally heard from my investigator. He’d already hit a dead-end. He’d been tasked with finding anything about Ellen Keating that he could, focusing on events more than 2 years ago. But his phone call informed me that everything before her collapse was a complete unknown. “As far as I can tell,” he said, “she might as well have not existed before then.”

7) 2 Years ago Ellen Keating turned up ‘here’.

I thought for a long time that night in my office. When had I last heard about her when I was managing at Dover? I was sure she commented on some panel discussions on the UEFA Cup final – “horrid shame that our representative in Europe has no English players’ – but maybe that didn’t matter? If she had been ‘there’ for those, it still didn’t make much difference for this timeline. She could have ‘moved’ after the premiership ti…

…

Ellen Keating in my world was horrified that a non-‘English’ club might win things, she appeared in this world at almost the same point that Dover won the title in that one. This was mighty strange.

Hell, what wasn’t strange?

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> 1st Chelsea 26 10 3 0 20 1 9 3 1 17 5 63 --------------------------------2nd Sunderland 26 8 1 4 22 14 7 2 4 17 14 48 3rd Man Utd 26 7 4 2 20 9 6 3 4 24 18 46 4th Blackburn 26 6 4 2 21 13 7 2 5 17 14 45 5th Arsenal 26 7 3 3 20 10 6 2 5 20 19 44 6th WEST HAM 26 4 4 4 9 7 7 6 1 19 10 43 7th Southampton 26 7 3 4 18 12 5 3 4 16 13 42 8th Liverpool 26 8 2 4 24 15 4 3 5 12 12 41 Date Player In From Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------10.1.10 Lilian Roger Sunderland £220K Date Player Out To Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------5.2.10 Olivier Veigneau Brentford Free </pre>