retired_swmchick2006

Other games of a meaningless type:

West Ham at Sampdoria

A 1-1 draw thanks to a late Roger goal that turned out to be completely meaningless.

West Ham at Sunderland

A 1-1 draw only due to Narey converting a penalty.

West Ham at Man City

A dull, dreary, dismal draw in a dull, dreary, drizzling English day. Deadly.

West Ham at Southampton

1-1 draw. Michael Stewart received a red. Ryan scored when we had 10 men to take a point. A completely blah game.

---

By the end of the season, our constant reversal of fortunes had caused my left eye to twitch uncontrollably. My right arm would occasionally go numb from clinching my fist in frustration. My small toe on my left foot was broken in two places after I kicked the bench on the side of the pitch after one of the shocking referee decisions.

For the 2nd year in a row, we had failed to make any mark in any competition. I had never had such a terrible stretch at any point in my career…

Though most of that career was starting to be just a vague memory now…

I had had one meeting (Awk---ward) with Ellen Keating where we exchanged two words:

“B*tch,” I said.

“B*st*rd,” she said.

The chairman was bordering on openly gleeful. Whenever I’d see him he’d just point and me and mouth “only one more season… one more season” and then flip me two fingers.

I was visited at the end of the season by some representatives from that ‘alliance’ thing, and they gave me their expression of “disappointment”. To which I said:

“Do you think I’m bl**dy well enjoying this?”

They didn’t seem interested in my outrage, and pointed out I had not possibility of completing the ‘challenge’ and that I was only being given the ‘last season’ out of generosity.

I told them where to stick their generosity, and left it at that.

It does make me wonder though.

There is obviously something going here that I still haven’t grasped.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> Phase 1 Group FPos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1st Q Aberdeen 6 3 0 0 6 0 0 1 2 0 4 10 2nd Q Schalke 04 6 3 0 0 5 0 0 0 3 0 5 9 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------3rd West Ham 6 2 1 0 3 1 0 1 2 1 4 8 4th Sampdoria 6 2 1 0 6 1 0 0 3 1 7 7 </pre>

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts---------------------1st C Liverpool 38 10 5 4 28 19 12 4 3 32 16 75 ---------------------2nd Man Utd 38 13 3 3 44 16 9 3 7 41 30 72 3rd Chelsea 38 13 4 2 24 6 5 10 4 16 16 68 4th Southampton 38 14 3 2 33 12 4 4 11 12 28 61 5th Arsenal 38 12 3 4 38 21 5 5 9 25 30 59 6th WEST HAM 38 8 4 7 18 18 8 7 4 21 14 59 7th Sunderland 38 9 6 4 25 15 7 4 8 22 25 58 8th Fulham 38 7 10 2 26 15 7 3 9 18 22 55 9th Newcastle 38 8 4 7 24 18 7 6 6 24 24 55 </pre>


<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">No Name Position(s) Nat Born Age Caps Gls Wages Expires Value-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------20 Anderson, Russell D RC SCO 25.10.76 34 17 - £10.5K 5.6.12 £400K 23 Andrès, Olivier SW/D C FRA 30.10.83 27 - - £2.8K 28.6.14 £2.4M 18 Archibald, Alan D LC SCO 13.12.77 33 - - £10.75K 26.6.12 £350K 28 Badiane, Jacques AM RLC FRA 17.6.90 20 - - £1.3K 11.6.14 £2.9M 6 Bodmer, Mathieu D/DM C FRA 22.11.82 28 2 - £20.5K 14.6.15 £12.5M 27 Caldwell, Steve GK SCO 20.7.89 21 - - £5.25K 12.5.15 £1.4M 3 Crainey, Stephen D LC SCO 22.6.79 31 78 3 £29K 1.6.13 £4.5M 11 Denquin, Frédéric AM/F LC FRA 3.6.88 22 4 - £11K 10.5.15 £11M 5 Duncan, Steven SW/D C SCO 3.9.84 26 11 - £13K 19.5.16 £3.5M 19 Ettori, Patrick F C FRA 24.6.87 23 - - £1.3K 10.6.13 £2.8M 31 Fischer, Ludovic S C FRA 22.10.90 20 - - £10.5K 13.5.15 £3.9M 24 Frey, Sebastien GK FRA 18.3.78 33 85 - £50K 5.5.15 £4.5M 32 Hay, Mark AM LC SCO 24.12.90 20 - - £900 16.6.12 £1M 12 Jack, Stephen DM C SCO 28.4.91 20 - - £1.5K 28.6.12 £950K 29 Joly, Pierre AM RLC FRA 23.6.90 20 - - £6.5K 20.6.14 £2.1M 21 Luccin, Peter Bernard DM RC FRA 9.4.77 34 - - £14.5K 5.5.13 £650K 33 MacDonald, Graeme SW/D/DM C SCO 18.8.91 19 - - £1.2K 4.5.14 £1.6M 7 Maurice, Alain AM/F R FRA 8.10.88 22 - - £625 5.6.14 £3.6M 16 McCulloch, Kevin S C SCO 30.12.84 26 - - £8.25K 12.6.14 £4.7M 2 McCunnie, Jamie D/DM R SCO 15.4.83 28 19 - £9.5K 6.6.13 £2.2M 26 McLean, Paul D/DM C SCO 23.2.88 23 - - £1.5K 2.5.15 £3M 13 Montgomery, Kevin GK SCO 10.3.86 25 - - £1.7K 20.6.14 £1.3M 17 Murray, Ian SW/D/DM LC SCO 20.3.81 30 - - £13.5K 20.6.14 Free 22 Narey, Steven D R SCO 29.9.83 27 1 - £8.25K 17.6.15 £3.1M 9 Normand, Pierre S C FRA 19.12.89 21 - - £1.3K 9.5.15 £3.7M 25 Roger, Lilian SW/D C FRA 14.10.87 23 - - £525 5.6.15 £2.1M 30 Ryan, Alan S C SCO 23.5.87 23 1 - £8.75K 23.5.15 £4.6M 8 Smith, Michael SW/DM C SCO 21.9.87 23 8 1 £10.5K 11.5.16 £6.25M 4 Stewart, Michael DM C SCO 26.2.79 32 2 - £16K 26.6.12 £1.7M - Stewart, Paul M LC SCO 6.10.90 20 - - £1.9K 28.5.15 £1.7M 14 Stewart, William D C SCO 6.9.83 27 - - £10K 28.6.15 £2.8M 10 Torre, Arnaud F RLC FRA 20.12.90 20 - - £5K 7.5.15 £3M 1 Walker, Paul GK SCO 4.3.86 25 - - £6.5K 9.6.14 £2.8M No Name Apps Gls Con Pens Asts Yel Red MoM Av R--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------20 Anderson, Russell 12 (1) 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 6.77 23 Andrès, Olivier 31 (1) 1 0 0 0 2 1 1 7.50 18 Archibald, Alan 8 (1) 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 6.67 28 Badiane, Jacques 41 (4) 3 0 0 7 1 0 1 6.84 6 Bodmer, Mathieu 44 6 0 0 5 8 0 7 7.75 27 Caldwell, Steve 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 3 Crainey, Stephen 47 1 0 0 7 6 0 4 7.19 11 Denquin, Frédéric 45 7 0 0 10 4 0 0 7.18 5 Duncan, Steven 42 2 0 0 1 4 1 2 6.95 19 Ettori, Patrick 13 (11) 0 0 0 1 2 0 1 6.58 31 Fischer, Ludovic 9 (17) 2 0 0 2 0 0 0 6.81 24 Frey, Sebastien 44 0 39 0 0 0 0 2 7.32 32 Hay, Mark 5 (4) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.67 12 Jack, Stephen 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 29 Joly, Pierre 35 (8) 3 0 0 1 3 0 1 6.65 21 Luccin, Peter Bernard 6 (5) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.82 33 MacDonald, Graeme 0 (2) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.50 7 Maurice, Alain 14 (6) 0 0 0 2 3 0 0 6.50 16 McCulloch, Kevin 1 (5) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.50 2 McCunnie, Jamie 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.00 26 McLean, Paul 2 (22) 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 6.58 13 Montgomery, Kevin 0 (1) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.00 17 Murray, Ian 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 22 Narey, Steven 40 2 0 2 (2) 2 7 1 2 7.05 9 Normand, Pierre 6 (7) 5 0 1 (1) 0 0 0 0 6.92 25 Roger, Lilian 17 (3) 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 6.60 30 Ryan, Alan 29 (2) 10 0 0 0 1 0 1 7.03 8 Smith, Michael 30 (2) 5 0 0 1 3 0 2 7.16 4 Stewart, Michael 30 (2) 1 0 0 2 9 1 0 7.22 - Stewart, Paul 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 14 Stewart, William 18 (4) 1 0 0 2 1 0 1 6.86 10 Torre, Arnaud 8 (15) 1 0 0 2 3 0 0 6.70 1 Walker, Paul 11 0 5 0 0 0 1 0 7.64 Date Player In From Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------1.6.10 Paul Stewart Middlesbrough £975K 6.6.10 Pierre Joly Montpellier Bos 11.6.10 Peter Bernard Luccin Free Transfer Free 3.7.10 Paul McLean Newcastle £2.2M 6.7.10 Graeme MacDonald Kilmarnock £650K 14.7.10 Ludovic Fischer Lyon £3.2M 10.8.10 Sebastien Frey Sampdoria £8M 8.10.10 Arnaud Torre Marseille £1M 24.10.10 Alan Ryan Motherwell £1.7M 10.12.10 Pierre Normand Sedan £1.3M Date Player Out To Fee-----------------------------------------------------------------------6.6.10 Anthony Vosahlo Released Free 1.7.10 Graham Weir Released Free 5.7.10 Bobby Duffy Released Free 8.7.10 Barry Robson Wycombe Free 9.8.10 Jim Clark Released Free 12.9.10 Gary O'Connor Luton Free 17.11.10 Lee Miller Birmingham £6.25M 29.11.10 Chris Caldwell Portsmouth Free 16.2.11 Steven Marsiglia Macclesfield Free Date Opposition Ven Competition Res Attend Scorers-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------20.7.10 Auxerre FRA A Friendly 0:0 2128 22.7.10 Paris SG FRA A Friendly 1:1 4783 McLean24.7.10 Le Mans FRA A Friendly 0:0 2039 31.7.10 Cruz Azul MEX H West Ham Trophy Semi Final 1:2 6923 Narey pen1.8.10 Benfica POR H West Ham Trophy 3rd Place Play 4:0 9865 Ettori, Narey pen, Denquin, McCulloch11.8.10 Kutaisi GEO A Champions Cup Qual.3 Leg 1 4:0 28763 Smith, Miller, Crainey, Andrès21.8.10 Man City H Premier Division 0:2 40838 25.8.10 Kutaisi GEO H Champions Cup Qual.3 Leg 2 1:0 40835 M.Stewart28.8.10 Middlesbrough H Premier Division 0:1 38860 11.9.10 Birmingham H Premier Division 2:1 40812 Badiane, Smith15.9.10 Sampdoria ITA A Champions Cup Ph.1 Grp F 1:1 21309 Roger18.9.10 Leicester A Premier Division 2:3 32467 Denquin, Fischer21.9.10 Aberdeen SCO H Champions Cup Ph.1 Grp F 0:0 39851 25.9.10 Stoke H Premier Division 2:0 39040 W.Stewart, Joly28.9.10 Schalke 04 GER H Champions Cup Ph.1 Grp F 1:0 40828 Miller2.10.10 Bristol C A Premier Division 1:0 21477 Miller6.10.10 Bolton A Premier Division 1:0 31667 Bodmer16.10.10 Man Utd H Premier Division 3:5 40850 Miller, Denquin 220.10.10 Schalke 04 GER A Champions Cup Ph.1 Grp F 0:2 90124 23.10.10 Sunderland A Premier Division 1:1 43439 Narey pen26.10.10 Sampdoria ITA H Champions Cup Ph.1 Grp F 2:1 40834 Smith, Miller30.10.10 Arsenal H Premier Division 3:0 40842 Bodmer, A.Ryan, Duncan7.11.10 Newcastle H League Cup 3rd Rnd 2:1 20756 Joly, Denquin10.11.10 Aberdeen SCO A Champions Cup Ph.1 Grp F 0:1 22154 13.11.10 Southampton H Premier Division 1:0 40838 Badiane21.11.10 Liverpool A Premier Division 1:1 44340 Bodmer25.11.10 Milan ITA A UEFA Cup 3rd Rnd Leg 1 0:0 77063 28.11.10 Blackburn H Premier Division 1:1 40836 Ryan1.12.10 Blackpool H League Cup 4th Rnd 1:0 20596 Ryan4.12.10 Watford A Premier Division 1:0 23112 A.Ryan9.12.10 Milan ITA H UEFA Cup 3rd Rnd Leg 2 3:0 40821 Cornali og, A.Torre, Fischer12.12.10 Brighton A Premier Division 1:1 14996 Joly15.12.10 Bradford A League Cup Qtr Final 1:2 25103 S.Duncan19.12.10 Man City A Premier Division 0:0 47961 22.12.10 Newcastle A Premier Division 1:0 48983 Bodmer26.12.10 Tottenham H Premier Division 0:1 40823 28.12.10 Chelsea H Premier Division 2:1 40816 Narey pen, Denquin1.1.11 Middlesbrough A Premier Division 1:0 35288 Denquin8.1.11 Blackburn H FA Cup 3rd Rnd 1:1 28099 Normand pen15.1.11 Leicester H Premier Division 0:2 38573 19.1.11 Blackburn A FA Cup 3rd Rnd Replay 0:0 26476 22.1.11 Birmingham A Premier Division 2:0 40481 Ryan, Roger26.1.11 Chelsea A Premier Division 0:2 42431 2.2.11 Fulham A Premier Division 0:0 30645 5.2.11 Stoke A Premier Division 0:1 27986 9.2.11 Bristol C H Premier Division 1:0 39954 Normand14.2.11 Bolton H Premier Division 1:0 37218 Ryan26.2.11 Arsenal A Premier Division 0:1 38471 3.3.11 Sporting POR A UEFA Cup 4th Rnd Leg 1 0:2 43094 6.3.11 Fulham H Premier Division 0:2 40813 10.3.11 Sporting POR H UEFA Cup 4th Rnd Leg 2 2:1 40832 Bodmer, Badiane20.3.11 Man Utd A Premier Division 1:0 61456 Normand4.4.11 Sunderland H Premier Division 0:2 40841 10.4.11 Southampton A Premier Division 1:1 39458 Ryan16.4.11 Liverpool H Premier Division 2:0 40803 Smith, Ryan20.4.11 Blackburn A Premier Division 4:0 36760 Denquin, M.Smith, Normand 223.4.11 Watford H Premier Division 0:0 40806 30.4.11 Brighton H Premier Division 0:0 38357 8.5.11 Tottenham A Premier Division 3:3 36227 Ryan 2, Bodmer22.5.11 Newcastle H Premier Division 0:0 40812 </pre>

retired_swmchick2006

The summer came and went in a flash. (A flash of white hot anger and rage.)

As we switched gears from finishing off the season to starting to the new one, I patiently waited for the improvements to come to the training facilities. I had seen little sign of progress, but with a few workmen coming and going I was hopeful that a quick dash of upgrades could be completed before we began training for the new year.

I casually mentioned to the board that there didn’t really seem to be a lot of work going on to make our training grounds world class.

I was stunned to hear the chairman say that they there was to be no improvements.

“What!?” I pounded my fist on the table. “You told me that you’d already begun improvements. I explained to you over and over how players are not developing to their full potential at the club because of the poor facilities, and I told you I’d resign if things weren’t changed around here!”

He looked me up and down, grinned wickedly, and said, “I lied.” He paused for a moment and said, “Besides which, you’ll be gone soon enough.”

I fumed. I ranted. I puzzled over the constant reference to me being gone at the end of the season. Each month my status reports had indicated pleasuer at my performance. The fans and I were getting along great. The fans again, I decided.

I told the supporter’s club what had happened, and they sent representatives to picket the offices, I threatened to leave immediately… but again, the fax arrived saying that improvements were in the works.

How could they get away with outright falsehoods? The press seemed obvious and unwilling to make the board follow through with their plans.

To add salt to the wound, the board then cut a dividend check to stockholders in the sum amount of 8 million pounds.

My eye twitched uncontrollably. I had constant indigestion and could barely eat due to the burning of my stomach.

With the huge transfer budget available, and with a notice from the board that they expected a title challenge (HA!) I took the funds available to me and began to try and spread them around. Yet there were few takers.

The first few players to arrive cost us hardly a thing:

Fabrice Meriem a talented 20-year-old striker arrived on a bosman. He would certainly be considered a possible first teamer passed on how he was performing in training.

Remi Rodriguez arrived for a small sum from Marseille. He is a young striker with potential, but will have to develop to crack the first team.

Craig Wilson and Vincent Clement are both defenders who can play on the right or in the center. One arrived for roughly 500k and the other on a bosman, and both should see games this season.

Finally in June, we began to get positive responses from some of our larger bids. Dribbling specialist Alexandre Jose Pedrosa arrived for 6 million pounds. With any luck he’d take over the attacking midfielder role.

Scottish right midfielder Richard Brittain arrived for roughly 2.5 million to try and add some skill at that position. He should certainly be a starter.

Jamie Wood and Stuart Graecen arrived to provide depth in the back line. The former for 2.2 million and the latter on a free.

All told, it wasn’t an impressive haul, and the cost was fairly low compared to our budget… but more importantly, compared to the teams we’d be challenging. Both Chelsea and Manchester United had spent more on individual players then our entire influx.

I was determined to prove to the club that to compete with the world class teams, we needed to really show that we were world class, so I arranged three pre-season friendlies to show just that. Barcelona, Bayern, and Milan all agreed to come to Upton Park for games. (And all left shocked that our players could stand such terrible decrepitude.)

The idiots in the front office just ignored these signs and signals.

Though their being English should have told me this would happen.

I think... they are out to get me. Impossible hopes for the seasons and no support.

retired_swmchick2006

After an up-and-down preseason (drawing Barcelona, losing to Bayern, beating Milan, losing to Bologna, beating Atletico Madrid) the season began.

It could not have started better than the 3-0 win over Southampton at home. I had a gut feeling that Meriem was going to be our new star, and told him to get ready for a busy season. He didn’t disappoint, scoring a brace in his first game for West Ham. Andres chipped in a third. It was a strong all-around showing for the team with the assists coming from Denquin, Pedrosa (on his debut), and Duncan.

Coming off such a great game we had strong hopes for the following away game at Fulham. Robben scored for the home side in the 20th, but Meriem scored to tie the game up in the 27th. That’s when things went to hell. Paul Reid passed to Levi Reid (no relation) and the latter scored just before halftime. After the break Frey was sent off, and we gave up two more goals to leave the stadium with a 4-1 thrashing.

I couldn’t believe how poor Frey had been, and I started eyeing him suspiciously over the next week in training. I should have trusted my instincts as the 50,000 pound a week player gave up 4 goals to Sunderland’s 4 shots on target in the 2nd half and we suffered a dismal 4-0 pasting.

I lambasted Frey after the match. “You’re one of them…” I knew he was now… out to get me like the rest of them… “and now you will be the most expensive RESERVE keeper ever!”

Leeds was next, a home game at Upton Park. Paul Walker was recalled to the starting spot, and turned in a good performance in a 1-1 draw. Pedrosa scored his first goal for the club, but we couldn’t hold onto the lead. In the stands I saw two figures who looked familiar… like ‘alliance’ thugs.

I was clearly being watched. I’d have to ignore it.

An easy 3-0 win in the UEFA Cup over Spanish 2nd Division side Pajara Playas followed as Normand scored three. The opposition had won a Spanish cup in the previous year, but were a frankly abysmal side.

Meriem continued to shine in the away game against Swansea. An early goal should have been enough, but Swansea scored twice after that. Thankfully, one of those goals was for us and one was for them, so we came home with a 2-1 win.

The same score was the result from the following match against Leicester. Denquin and Pedrosa scored before the half-hour mark.

After an easy 2-0 return leg in the UEFA Cup, we continued our good streak with a 2-1 win away at Arsenal. Another goal from Meriem and another goal from Pedrosa, and West Ham was looking... well... very good suddenly. With Bodmer (the supporter’s player of the year for the previous season) leading the midfield, and the new signings and Denquin on the attack, this was the first time I’d seen West Ham really click as a unit for several games.

A 1-0 win away at Stoke followed, thanks to a surprise goal from Torre, who was given the start.

A 1-0 win at home against Man City came after that. Our other new signing, Brittain getting his first goal of the season.

A bad patch seemed guaranteed to be around the corner… and it was.

2-2 at home versus Olympiakos.

0-1 on the road versus Middlesborough.

1-3 to Swansea in the League Cup.

0-2 at home to Chelsea.

1-3 away to Olympiakos.

Although the last game had been Walker’s fault, as he had a day of blindness in the nets, the reasons for the bad spell were fairly obvious. Meriem and Bodmer had missed all of those games through injury.

I started looking at the physiotherapists with greater attention. How deep was this conspiracy?

retired_swmchick2006

October hadn’t been kind to us, but Torre had still picked up the young player of the month award. I think it surprised everyone.

We started our league play of November away at Newcastle. With Bodmer returned from injury, we looked like a different team and a 2-0 win was justly deserved. Bodmer headed in a Denquin freekick and Normand chipped in a second before the half hour mark.

Bodmer was the man for the next match against Blackburn away. Another Man-of-the-Match performance, but we could only get a 0-0 draw.

Away at Liverpool, and Bodmer did it again. He scored in the 73rd and 77th with headers, and was having one of the best sequence of games from any player I’d ever managed. A 2-0 win.

A 1-0 away win against Portsmouth followed as Meriem re-discovered his form to in the 38th.

The last win had taken us into December, but it was not a surprise that Bodmer had picked up the player of the month award for November, and I has won the manager of the month award as well.

We were looking unstoppable in league play now, and a 4-0 demolition of Brighton delighted the home fans at Upton Park. Bodmer opened the scoring with a swerving shot from outside, Meriem scored two fantastic second half goals and Pedrosa iced the win with a simple finish to kill the game off.

A 2-0 win over Birmingham came from surprise goals from Brittain and MacDonald, but it was a completely deserved win.

We’d gone 6 games without giving up a goal, and had only dropped points in one of the away games.

The team was looking like a Pascal McIntosh managed team yet again. I was ecstatic, I rubbed the chairman’s face in our form and our league position. The alliance goons didn’t know what to do with themselves, and I could have sworn I saw one of them clap noticeably with the fans in the last win.

I’d still have something to say about this being my last season… nobody would run me out of town.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts-----------------------------1st Man Utd 15 5 1 1 13 5 6 1 1 13 5 35 -----------------------------2nd WEST HAM 17 5 1 2 13 8 6 1 2 11 7 35 3rd Southampton 14 4 2 1 13 8 4 1 2 12 7 27 4th Fulham 15 6 0 1 16 6 1 5 2 8 9 26 </pre>

retired_swmchick2006

Before the next game we finally signed a new player at left-back to cover for the aging Crainey. 24-year old Sebastien Lambert joined the club from Toulon, and immediately went into rotation in the next game against Tottenham. His defensive abilities were nicely complemented by a great ability to make overlapping runs.

After a quiet first half, it seemed we had wrapped up the win with a 57th minute strike from [bMeriem[/b], but Spurs pieced together a good move to score in the 78th through man of the match Pablo. It had been the visitor’s defensive counter-attacking style that had been our ondoing.

A Meriem goal did hold up to beat Fulham 1-0 at home. Lambert earned man of the match honors with a rock solid game. It hadn’t been a great performance from us, as our goal came on Meriem’s only shot of the game.

I was beginning to sense that our strong streak was over. It happened against Sunderland. Lambert scored his first goal for the club to briefly tie it up, but we went down 2-1 in the 85th minute and never threatened again. Most of a stars had a poor game notably young Meriem and Denquin.

I wanted and needed us to get at least a point against leaders Manchester United. If we could manage a win we’d be equal with them on points. Instead, West Ham turned in an awful game in awful weather (strong cross field wind). United wasn’t that much better but one of their 2 shots (compared to our 2 shots) actually went in. Down we went with a 1-0 loss.

And that ended the year 2010. The following year began with a 1-1 draw at Southampton. Bodmer scored in the 37th and it looked like a typical McIntosh style 1-0 win… until the referee had a meltdown with about 5 minutes to go. First he gave Rooney a penalty for a dive and sent off Walker in the 84th, having already made 3 subs we had no choice but to but Bodmer in for the penalty. Southampton scored. Then the referee sent off Duncan in a scrap during the restart and we were playing with 9 men and a field player in the nets.

Naturally, I was furious at the referee… but I had a sense that the chairman and the alliance were beginning to conspire against me. Hadn’t I noticed them exchange glances with the referee at halftime? I wasn’t imagining it… there was something fishy going on. There had to be... right?

We were able to turn in strong 2-0 win away at Leicester thanks to strong games from Bodmer and McLean. Our goals came from Ryan and Pedrosa as Meriem was given a rest. Lambert continued to shine.

An indifferent 4-2 win over Hartlepool was managed by the 2nd team in the FA Cup 4th round. We needed two late goals to secure the win and Ludovic Fischer had to shine against the 3rd division side.

On into February the season went… a 0-0 draw against Stoke was all we could manage thanks to a fantastic defensive performance from their keeper.

Against Leeds…

Um… Against Leeds…

Actually, I don’t think I can talk about it yet… I’m still too furious.

retired_swmchick2006

The 4-1 loss to Leeds was in some ways the beginning of the end of our challenging for anything. It started in awful fashion by Bodmer getting sent off in the 9th minute for a late challenge. Even reduced to ten men, we still found a way to score first through Ryan in the 17th. After that, we played like a punch of conference players. Leeds English striker Scott Blake was my own personal nightmare. A only marginally talented player who would go on to score only 8 goals this season, scored four agaisnt us. We'd been thrashed and with a cold nearly freezing rain, the team came in looking as unhappy as cats in a bath.

It perhaps would have stung so bad and left such an awful aftertaste if the team hadn't bounced back in the next game against Arsenal and put up a strong 1-0 hoome win in a London derby. Meriem scored in the 4th minute, and Lambert continued to impress at left-back.

A 3-0 FA Cup 5th round win over Southampton followed. The game had been fairly indfifferent to us, but the first team had gone out and demolished the Premiership side. Bodmer, Denquin, and MacDonald all scored in the game.

I knew something bad was just around the corner, and I could tell by the looks on the chairman and the alliance goons they felt the same.... the 3-0 loss at Chelsea was as bad as I could have imagined. We could only put 1 shot on target and only had 37% of possession.

Bodmer was still playing like our best player and he helped us drag a point out of the home game that followed against Newcastle which finished 0-0.

You might have though we were in good position to win the FA Cup after we thrashed Middlesbrough 3-1 behind a goal from Denquin and a brace from Pedrosa. You would have been wrong of course.

We had made it to mid-March by then, and young Meriem had confessed to me that he could never be happy in England and that the lifestyle here was driving him absolutely crazy.

I couldn't have agreed more.

retired_swmchick2006

West Ham has now been hovering in 5th place since their high point at the mid-season in 2nd. It wasn't so much that we'd slipped into terrible form, as much as we were reverting to a typical West Ham style of season. Decent wins followed by unexplained losses while being spotted with frustrating draws.

We faced Man City next, and could only come out with 1-1 draw. Meriem scored late to get us the point.

The striker scored again for the win in the next game at home versus Boro. Pedrosa got the opener in the 2-1 victory.

Next up was the FA Cup semi-final at Stamford Bridge against Arsenal. I was bordering on a breakdown before the game and after losing 1-0 thanks to an Adriano goal, my nerves were even more rattled.

How could the press not notice how clearly delighted our chairman was at our missing a chance to play in the final?

It had been a hard-fought game with plenty of chances and saves from both sides. Sadly it was Lambert who was our worst player, the first disappointing game he had had.

We followed that loss with a 2-1 loss at Brighton, a game where Roger and Narey might as well not have been on the pitch for all the good they did.

I began locking the door to my office when I was in it. I sensed that someone was following me on my way around town. The alliance goons were practically camped out in their car in front of the clubhouse.

They wouldn't get rid of me yet, I'd force my way to the end of the season, and beyond that if I could.

1-1 draw with Portsmouth. (Ryan scoring)
2-0 win at Birmingham. (Meriem brace)
1-0 win over Blackburn. (Denquin)
2-2 draw with Liverpool. (Meriem brace)
2-1 win at Tottenham. (Meriem and Torre).

We had no chance at any better than 4th and no worse than 6th. Meriem had picked up the Young Player of the Year award, but had refused to attend the ceremony saying he couldn't care less about English awards.

The chairman was positively gloating. The alliance were calling me daily and telling me I had only one more game to go before I was 'through'.

And the team... who could I trust? Meriem, Bodmer, keeper Walker, Lambert... but now I looked at the other players... and I could see they were staring at me strangely... watching me for signs of slippage... jotting down notes about by behavior...

Even Denquin was in on it... wasn't he?

Our last game was against Manchester United and Player of the Year Christiano Ronaldo.

And yet... there was still more I could do... Manchester United had slipped up, they had dropped out of first place and Fulham had roared into the lead with one game to play. If West Ham could beat United at home on the last day of the season, Fulham was guaranteed the title!

This was something... This was West Ham playing a role!... This was a reason for fighting!...

I told the chairman I'd show we were an impact team in the Premiership... he couldn't ignore me if we proved it!

I'd make sure someone else won the title this year... even if it wasn't West Ham!

retired_swmchick2006

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> ================ 2011/2 Table=======================Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts----------------------------1st C Man Utd 38 13 2 4 37 15 10 3 6 29 18 74 ----------------------------2nd Fulham 38 17 1 1 34 10 4 9 6 21 22 73 3rd Chelsea 38 10 6 3 21 10 11 3 5 22 12 72 4th Arsenal 38 12 3 4 33 16 7 6 6 26 26 66 5th Southampton 38 9 5 5 37 29 10 3 6 27 21 65 6th WEST HAM 38 9 7 3 23 16 9 3 7 22 22 64 </pre>

One last game.

I walked slowly back to my office.

We'd had one game to prove that we could make a significant impact on the league.

Each fall of my footstep echoed inside the dreary corridor.

If we could have beaten Manchester United... Fulham would have won the title.

My eye twitched. I felt a numbness along my right arm. I was beginning to notice a distict limp caused by my right calf cramping.

It was far too warm in here.

The first half had been as terrible as we could have feared. Even with Manchester United playing a defensive 4-2-4 (yeah, you work that one out for yourself) we hadn't put any pressure on. Walker had been impressive to deny them an opener in the 45 minutes.

The second half was worse. When van Dijk scored twice by the 70th minute, the 40000 plus fans in attendance left the stadium in a hurry.

And the news from Fulham's game at Blackburn had only been salt in the wound. Gary O'Conner had scored before the half and then led his Blackburn side to a 2-1 win to give the title to Man U.

Well... I suppose, we'd been the ones to have given it to them.

On a silver platter.

...

Something was wrong in my office. My blinds were up. There were people in there...

The chairman.

Those alliance goons.

That b*tch Ellen Keating.

and other people.

People in white jackets.

No... impossible...

retired_swmchick2006

retired_swmchick2006

My name is Pascal McIntosh.

and I hate you.

Tomorrow, I will ask the nice fellow who comes in to see how I'm doing and who tries to convince me that Gary O'Conner is a true star striker to provide me with some nice books to read.

I feel I might be here for a while.

but somewhere, somebody knows the truth. I know it.

Perhaps I'll ask for some Dickens. Maybe Austen. or perhaps if I am up to it, some Kafka.

Yes, that will be very nice.