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Hello, good evening and welcome to tonight's feature presentation. Sadly our keynote speaker, Mr Michael Palin, has been permanently delayed and so we have had to re-jig matters somewhat. In fact, so reliant were we on Mr Palin that we have no alternative schedule. I suggest you all go home and we'll sort out refunds in due course.
Unless, of course, there is anybody else who's gone from Pole to Pole in the room?
Thought not.
But there was. As Alfie Miller took the podium, the gathered crowd, dismayed by the double whammy of neither seeing Michael Palin, nor getting to go home early, sighed collectively. If only they had known what was to follow, perhaps they would have been a little more animated...
Set out from base camp. Temperatures are literally of Arctic proportions. Lost two good men today, one on a free transfer to Benfica, the other to Aalesund for £230K. Have sought replacements, but volunteers are thin on the ground for an expedition of this nature. Managed to convince a few Faroers to come along, Andrew av Fløtum, John Pedersen and Súni Olsen will all add experience to the group, Shoes Moshoeu and Bård Borgersen add their own veteran presence at almost 80 years combined. Some feel they may slow us down, but canniness is underrated in this type of venture.
Sead Ramovic, I fear, will leave us shortly before we reach our destination and Douglas Sequeira not long after we get there. This I foresee. Despite this I see potential here. Tore Reginiussen, Vegard Braathen, Yngvar Håkonsen and Morten Moldskred have ability, whilst Ole Martin Årst and Sigurd Rushfeldt have been here before.
It has to be said that the Tromsø side has never before scaled beyond second place. If we are to acheive the impossible it will require teamwork, dedication and a lot of luck.
This was Miller's only entry from Tromsø. Swept up in the journey, he led by example and the brave men of that Northern outpost went further than they had ever been before, scaling the summit, winning the Tippeligaen for the first time ever and, after Miller parted from the group, taking victory in the Royal League competition. With Champions League football to look forward to, Miller's legacy in the most northerly football outpost looks set to last a long time, but Alfie is not a man to bask in the glory of goals achieved and summits scaled. No sooner had the season ended and the prizes been awarded (Norwegian Manager of the Year, no less), and he was gone, disappearing into the night.
Travelled South for many, many miles. Have collected a new team of men, and looking to take them on an enormous journey. The first stage may even take more than one year to complete, the second could last a lifetime.
Of the men, I am most impressed by Thomas Nørgaard, who often is the last line of support. Kasper Rasmussen and Steven Lustü are others who ought to be proud of their efforts.
It will be tough going, as I said, to scale the first peak before the year's end, but we will endeavour to do so and should we fall short, we'll be that bit closer the following year. I bid you farewell and hope that this is not the last you hear from me.
Miller had resurfaced in the Danish town of Silkeborg to take charge of a side many had felt would be front runners in their class, but who had suffered from inadequate leadersip and faced the bitter sting of the drop. Some guidance from Miller averted that fear early on, but it seems unlikely that the expected summit can be scaled with so little time left and such a long way to go.
Pole to Pole with Michael Palin (P2P) 
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