shannon2007

Got ya!

From the makers of Adventures in China Town, featuring an all star cast of politically correct people, guest staring Wan Hung Lo - who never actually appears in the movie -

and the multi-non-award winning Battle of Baghdad, a movie which outclasses every other movie in it's genre,

we bring you the third and probably not final installment in the long running trilogy at least five parts, an undersea adventure of panoramic proportions,

The Day I Went To Oceania

Starry, Larry the Lamb as a Sheep in Wolves clothing.

Co starring Imac Anne Ibul as a flesh eating zombie

Featuring many well know Hollywood Stars, and destined to become the greatest movie of all time that has never won an Oscar.

shannon2007

I'm NOT a Parrot

Hi there. Mi name Percy. I not parrot. I not speak so good Engaleesh. I tell you stori. Is long stori, you have good ears?

So, then I begin. You be quiet now and listen!

BarryLFC

Shug shrugged. It hadn't been much of a life, back in New Caledonia. The ship was sailing, so he jumped on board. Bound for new lands, new faces, new sheeps.

Twenty minutes later the boat sank. Shug shrugged. Then he swam to Fiji, where he was accidentally mistaken for a bear and shot at with spears. Twenty minutes later that was all forgot as he bought drinks for everyone and was voted manager of the national football team.

Shug shrugged.

shannon2007

Hi mi again. Please forgive speeling. Not moron.

So I am born in Papua New Guinea. We call it, Hame. I grow up, play with big balls, get job on farm with many pigs and goats and sheeps. Have wife, have many many childrens - eats some when hard cold winter comes and kills crops.

Now I manage Papua team. Is good job. Much moneys.

We win World Cup soon, you see Joe.

BarryLFC

Shug wondered who Joe was. With 94% of the Fijiian nation at the Rugby World Cup, he had a chance to see the real men play some football. That said, the bunch that showed up to trials were far from manly.

With names like Shailemdra, Liuai, Ulaiasi and Leone, it seemed that men's men just didn't come from this island.

At least the children weren't eaten when it got cold. Everyone just did a stupid dance instead, to keep warm.

shannon2007

We are having many fine players here in Papua? Perhaps you are hearing of them in your fine European houses of stone!

You know Batman. Yes he play for us!

Sad to say, not Robin but we try.

I say goodbye now till next time, you be here ok Joe!

BarryLFC

Finally the long wait for some football was over.

Fiji, with new assistant manager, New Zealand legend Wynton Rufer inluential, went 4-2-4, starting Laisenia Tuba in goals. Interestingly he was the only man in the squad named after a brass instrument, and at 29 years old had amassed 6 caps. There were worse keepers in the world. Most of them in Fiji.

Masi Natasiwai and Aftar Abdul would open up at fullbacks, Abdul winning his first cap at just 17 years old. In the middle Lorima Dau and Shailemdra Lal would be the bedrock of the defence. Junior Bukalidi and Ratu Meli Debalevu had defensive responsibilities in the midfield engine room, whilst Jope Leka and Usemio Akuila Logaivau would be expected to provide service to Osea Vakatalesau and Vishwa Dewan Nair up front.

Shug wasn't that bothered how the game went, t'was only a friendly.

shannon2007

Team goes to Tahiti soon. Will be very hard game for us, they have players of magic. Voodoo.

Many dancers have tried.

We try dancing in circle of light, but spirits tell us is hopeless.

Spirits never lie. Think we do Estonian war dance, not turn up.

We perhaps go join Fiji. Hear they get stuffed already like chickens.

Spirits say Fijian should stick Rugby.

Bye now Joe!

BarryLFC

Goals scored: nil.

Goals conceded to Tahiti: seven.

Goals scored by Vahirua: five.

Shug simply shrugged - what else could he do?

shannon2007

Witch doctors put spells on Tahiti, try make Vahirua break leg.

Vahirua no break leg

Half time is no goals anyone. Good plays from us, Spirits on our side.

No mores. Vahirua he is god methinks. Plays like god. Scores like god.

We lose nothing goals with two.

Think no go Tahiti again.