retired_milla0225

O Canada - The Des Arbalour Story - Episode Three - The Press Conference

The Dutch voiceover kicks in and subtitles tell us that at the Press Conference as well as Des is Rory Tableforth , the President of the Canadian FA. The shot pans round to show us a few newspaper journalists, a couple of local TV cameras and a unit from Sky Sports.

The questioning starts. The subtitles stop.

Ted Plumpton (TP): "Ted Plumpton - Canadian Hyper Sports News - Welcome to Toronto, and Canada, Des, can I ask are you happy to be here ?, and what made you take the job ?"

Des Arbalour (DA): "Well, Ted, and thanks for the warm welcome, you know that's one thing I know about Canada already, having only been here what has literally been 15 minutes, is that Canadians are a wonderful bunch of people. I know from National Geographic that it's a beautiful country, and I know from Crash Scene Investigation that you make good telly. But what made me take this job ? well Ted, every manager worth his salt wants to stretch himself, and of course, international management is a big step up for anyone. I think I'm ready for it. I'm certainly fully prepared."

Iris MacGillicuddy (I-Mac): "Iris MacGillycuddy - The Toronto Advertiser - Surely though Des, Canada is a bit of a tall order, it's not like we are any good."

Des Arbalour (DA) "Iris, Iris, Iris, do you think I would have taken over a team any lower than 50th in the world ?"

Rory Tablethforth (RT - interupting): "Actually Des we are 76th in the World at the moment"

DA (looking a little crestfallen): "Oh, I didn't realise things were quite that bad. Still, just look at the players we have, we can make an impact on this group."

Peter Finch (PF) "Des, it's Finchy here from Sky Sports News, Des what players are you refering to ?"

DA: "Well, Finchy, there's Paul Peschiolido, and that kid at Newcastle, Cedric Edgar, that guy who used to play for Everton and, errrm, loads more."

PF: "Actually Des, it's David Edgar, and the Pesch retired from international football at the end of last season. Do you not know any of the many Canadian players playing in continental Europe ?"

DA: " errm, No."

PF: "Not Patrice Bernier, Either one of the De Guzmans, Atiba Hutchinson or Lars Hirschfield ?"

DA: "Errm, No.....oh yeah isn't Paul Stalteri at Fulham Canadian ?"

Donna McIntyre (DMcI)"Donna McIntyre - Channel 7 News - Fulham isn't in Continental Europe, dill brain. So do we stand any chance of qualifying for the World Cup Finals ?"

DA: "I mean seriously Donna, and don't flatter yourself, you're no looker, how hard can it be. USA, Jamaica, who ever heard of these countries playing football."

Rory Tableforth: "Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I think we better bring this to a close. Right now. And just for clarification, it is stipulated in Mr Arbalour's contract that we will qualify for the World Cup, or he's out of a job."

DA (as the microphones and tv lights fade quickly: "It is ?"