shannon2007

The statement from the Welsh FA was terse and to the point,

'After meeting today, we have decided to take on board the opinion of Robbie Savage that John Toshack's position as manager of Wales is untenable. Going forward to the qualifying tournament for the 2010 World Cup, we will be looking to appoint a new manager. At this point we will say that neither Robbie Savage, nor Larry the Sheep are in the running for the job'

shannon2007

The Welsh Football Association had not been very forward looking in their sacking of John Toshack. Perhaps listening to Robbie Savage was not such a good idea after all, and the main problem for the Welsh seemed to be - no-one really wanted the job. It was a hiding to nothing, in which Robbie Savage would continually appear in the press after each game claiming you were crap, until you felt so disillusioned you hung yourself.

'Well now boyos' The new Welsh FA President Gordon Smith began, 'I used to play football in Austria so I think I know what I'm talking about here.'

'And what are you talking about'

'Video evidence!' Smith proclaimed, 'If we can just find some video evidence that proves all the other sides were cheating against us, we can still make it to Euro 2008!'

'Yeeees.' Drawled Dafydd Leek, 'But the thing is you see, erm Gordon, Euro 2008 is finished now. And you're not Welsh are you?'

'I find that offensive!' Smith objected, 'You cannot define a persons nationality purely based on their erm, nationality. Besides, we're all really British aren't we!'

'I'm not' Rashid Patel put up his hand, 'I'm an illegal immigrant, Bert sent me.'

Ignorning the illegal immigrant, Smith went on 'Well whatever, but we still need to find a new manager. Four people have applied, here are their CV's'

'Erm this one is your's' Dafyd Leek pointed out.

'Ah erm, yes. No idea how that got in their.'

'And this one. This is your wife, is it not?'

'Oops, silly me.'

'So really' Howell Pembroke looked up from the CV's, 'We have two applicants'

'Yes!' Smith said enthusiastically, 'Two very high quality applicants!'

'Yes' Dafydd agreed, 'this is a very impressive CV indeed. There is just one small, teensy weensy problem I can see here.'

Gordon Smith looked confused.

'Brian Clough is dead.' Dafydd reminded him.

'Ah of course' Snith replied, 'But he would still make a better manager than Robbie Savage, no?'

'Perhaps. And this other bloke. Ivor Hardy, erm who is he in fact?'

'Oh a very, very experienced man! He's one of the best!'

'One of the best..... lets see now, yes, one of the best indeed..... at Tiddlywinks! And he's 88 years old for crying out loud! Is this really the best we can do?'

'Well it's either him or Bob Beveridge' Smith lamented, 'and he's nearer a hundred'

retired_marcias

Like the start :thup:

Since I've come upon a story in the first post I'll attempt to find time to keep reading it this time, especially since it has such a pithy and erudite title

I am a fan of sheep though so may take mortal offense from which I will never recover and blame you for the rest of my life.

retired_w0lfpack1

I'm offended by the title.

retired_rkp278

Getting a head start for 'Funniest Story' for next year's awards, eh?

shannon2007

Ivor Hardy was outraged.

'That is totally outrageous' he declared at his interview with the Welsh FA, 'I am NOT 88 years old. I am in fact 87!'

'Very nice' Dafydd said, 'But what makes you think you can lead Wales to success at the next World Cup?'

'I don't' the old man replied, 'I don't even like football.'

Dafydd was confused now, 'Then why did you apply for the job?'

'I didn't' the old man replied, 'when I got your letter, I thought you were the government, finally catching up on a old man who had come here in the 1930's to escape the German invasion of Poland. I thought I was going to be deported.'

Ivor Hardy was indeed hiding a guilty secret. Born Ivan Ardun, in the Polish town of Gdansk in 1920, Ivan had fled the German occupation of his country when the Germans invaded and arrived in Wales where he changed his name to Ivor Hardy in order to remain inconspicuous.

'We don't a lot of choice really' Dafydd sighed, 'You're absolutely sure you're not related to Robbie Savage?'

'There was a Robbie Savage in my village, he was the village idiot. But no, I'm not related to him.'

'Very well. This is a very prestigious job in World football.' Dafydd thought for a few moments. 'OK well, we don't have much choice. Ivor, welcome to the Wales managers job!'

'But I don't want to be Wales manager' Ivor protested, 'I've retired you see.'

'It's either manager of Wales or deportation back to Poland. Where you will be shot as a deserter.'

'Very well then' Ivor said sadly, 'I'll pack my bags. It's been a good life.'

retired_highmain9

It's done already? I'm kinda disappointed if it is

BarryLFC

Probably is. He's just trying to sway the votes for funniest writer, then he'll drop this. :p

shannon2007

The press conference was a pretty low key affair. This was Wales after all, even if it was not always easy to tell. Their Rugby side was mince - so it could easily have been New Zealand, or France. They didn't have any decent tennis players, so it could easily have been England - or France. Their football team was the laughing stock of the world. Just like England's. It was hardly surprising then that only three journalists has turned up. It was even less surprising that one of them turned out to be Robbie Savage, and he was unceremoniously escorted from the hall.

'But I'm a Welsh legend!' Savage screamed as he was dragged away.

Daffyd Leek faced the members of the Welsh press.

'Members of the Welsh press' Daffyd announced, 'It gives me great pleasure to introduce our new manager..... Ivor Hardy!'

Three hours later, an old man finally made it onto the stage and sat down beside Daffyd. The press were aghast.

'Ivor Hardy' Daffyd began, 'Is an extremely experienced, well like manager in the game. We are all confident he can rebuild Wales into the footballing super power we used to be and place us back at the top of the World rankings.'

But by this time the two remaining members of the press had left. They needed to find out Robbie Savages views on the whole thing before printing their stories.

'Wales Get a Hardy!' screamed on of the newspaper headlines, and continued underneath,

'If Wales had appointed Laurel & Hardy it would probably have made as much sense as an eighty eight year old man who, when asked what his favoured formation would be, replied that he did quite like the red arrows yes.'

Robbie Savage was not amused either, and told everyone he was likely to meet that this was a black day for Welsh football.

'Would you like to see John Toshack back then?' Savage was asked by once innocent hack.

'Hell no!' Savage responded and so the headline the next day was,

'Savage Approves New Wales Boss! - Everything is Fine.'

Brandon M

Not a baaaaad start my friend. Ewe should be pleased and so shall I be if you continue in this rich vein of form.

:p