danny.harv

Don't step down Irish. You're doing a great job.

irishregan

Thanks mate, I've already played on a bit, but stick around and see what happens

A week's break to the next game was, as always a godsend for a mentally shot manager, which was what I still knew in my heart of hearts I was. We pitched up for a tough game at Fiorentina with a number of changes, as one might expect following the debacle in the nation's capital. Zaccardo was at right back, Grosso left, Ramos in the centre, Rodriguez right midfield, and Ibrahimovic partnering Ashton up front. It worked...for them, and we were 3-0 down at half-time, having displayed utter spinelessness and ineptitude in every facet of the game, from every player. I didn't go in the dressing room, and left them out there to rot after the 4th went in. It ended up 5-0, and afterwards I had an intercontinental ballistic missile launch in the dressing room, which ended with me almost foaming at the mouth. Even by my standards, it was quite a performance.

Our lead had slipped to 4 points, but only because the Rossoneri had inexplicably drawn 0-0 at Catania. We then waited 9 days for our Champions League 1st leg at Ajax. I rung changes again, with Adan in goal, Samuel in for the dropped Ramos, and Gasbarroni at centre midfield. I should have known better. Inconsistency of selection was rendering us a complete shambles. I was letting my anger rule logic. We were 3-0 down again at half-time, and I don't think the home fans could quite believe that a team topping Serie A could be quite this s***e. It ended up in a ludicrous 4-1 defeat, in which I might add, they really only had 4 shots on the business area. I didn't say anything to anyone at all, and tranced my way through the flight back to Milan. In my wilder days, I probably would have stayed in Amsterdam and gone on a massive booze, drugs and sex bender. Nowadays, all I could think of was getting back to Carla. How times had changed, for very much the better of course. I didn't even have the devil on my shoulder like I used to. The thought crossed my mind, it was simply that I had something more fulfilling at home. However, I did plan to have a right few drinks for a couple of days.

We were on the road again at Ascoli, come the 21st of November. Abidal came in for the injured Chiellini. I didn't give a team talk beforehand, reasoning that my interventions were starting to become part of the problem. As with everything lately, that was a misjudgement. Despite dominating the half, we got bugger all. I decided against saying anything at half time either, and for once, it seemed to work. Cardoo produced a moment of sheer magic on 52, a long mazy run capped by a devastating finish. I thought we had the game locked down, then in the 5th of 5 minutes of injury time that I thought was pure fantasy on the referee's part, they equalised, and I reckon at that moment, I just about hit rock bottom...

The scene was Moratti's office. The date was Tuesday the 23rd of February.

"I knew it," he began. "I knew you were going to resign, damn you!"

"Emm...well. Not exactly. At least...not yet anyway," I rambled.

"Well what are you here for?"

"A proposal."

"About what?"

"After a lot of thinking, I believe I am the best man for this job. However at the moment, especially with Carla pregnant, and the team not responding to me, I think I should develop my role in a new direction. Temporarily of course."

"Go on. I mean, even though it sounds exactly like good reasons why you should resign, I'll still listen."

"I need a break from the day-to-day involvement."

Moratti nearly choked on his coffee. "You're hardly ever f***ing here anyway! The only time you're sighted is at match days. From what I can gather, you seem to spend a fair amount of time sitting around at home."

"Well my idea is this. I step back for a while, into a sort of general manager role. Pick the team, organise transfers etc. Mihajlovic runs things on match days. Then when I've rekindled my desire, I step back in, and the players will respond again."

Moratti laughed long and loud. Finally, he said, "What is it about you, that you always get away with this kind of s**t, eh?! I don't know why I indulge you."

"We'll just try it for a month initially," I interjected.

"What do I tell the press?"

"That I'm caring for my wife, who's having a difficult pregnancy."

"Is that true?"

"Sort of."

He twiddled his thumbs. "You never ever tell anyone that this is anything other than a leave of absence to care for your wife. Understood?"

"I'd never embarrass you Massimo. Remember, even when you booted me out of this club ten years ago, when I was just about the best player in the world, I never criticised the club. Not one word."

"I know, you bastard. I still feel guilty about that. I think that's why I let you get away with so much. Now get the f**k out of here!"

For the next two games, the last two of a tumultuous February, I watched on TV, as the lads romped to a 6-1 win over Sampdoria, and a 2-1 win over Udinese. The media had left the story of my departure alone, not daring to question a medical leave of absence, no matter how fishy it looked. The stories that did appear were far more dangerous. The Gazetta Dello Sport headline after the thrashing of Sampdoria said it all, above a picture of Ibrahimovic blasting one in..."Who needs Il Mato?!.

ross8

This story is great keep it coming pal

irishregan

Thanks a lot Ross8, much appreciated.

Authors note: To explain what happened in the previous chapter, I took a manager holiday in the game. As it says, I was still picking the team and using my tactics, but I had got to the point where I was so cheesed off, I was on the point of binning the game.

Mihajlovic was still looking like a genius come March. As I watched at home, shouting and cheering the team on, we miraculously overturned our 4-1 deficit to Ajax with a stunning 4-0 win at the San Siro. I felt like being there, yet at the same time, had no great yen to be in the dugout. I wasn't ready to come back, yet many more scinitillating performances like that, and my desire would have well and truly returned. It was certainly an odd feeling watching the lads triumph in a big way and not being in the dressing room afterwards.

In the following league game, the team completed a workmanlike 2-0 win at home to Messina, a showing which had the same overtones of underperformance that had so frustrated me.

My Serbian assistant manager's honeymoon period looked to be well and truly over the following week. Gyan gave us a 2-0 lead within 8 minutes at Palermo. By half time, we were 3-2 down. Adriano salvaged a point for us, yet having seen the absolute best of us against Ajax, I had been reminded what a drag they could be at times.

The best returned with a 3-0 drubbing of Juventus at home the following midweek. Our lot completely outplayed, and even outclassed Juve, although they were hardly a vintage edition of the famous Turin club. The guys then stuffed Parma, also by 3 to 0 on the weekend, and this was pretty impressive too. They followed that up with a 1-1 draw at Lazio, having to come from behind for a well earned point.

On the 30th March, came our next foray into the Champions League, a home clash 1st leg against Manchester United. It was the sort of game I could have mugged in and come back for, but it still didn't feel quite right. I wondered if it was getting so hard to return that I might not ever come back. I was having too much fun being with Carla. She was starting to show a bump, and it was the most amazing experience of my life to go with her to the scans, and see the little tyke wriggling about in the womb. I thought to myself, "I'd probably have missed all this if I was back at the club". Once I'd seen it, I couldn't imagine passing up such a moment for football again.

The game against United was a tense 0-0 draw, and I doubt, given how the match was played, that my tactical input would have altered matters much. Shortly after the game finished, I telephoned Moratti:

"I'll be back on the 1st of May, if you'll still have me," I said uncertainly.

"The first of May," he said, in a tone which suggested he was about to tell me to forget it. "Ok. It's not what I was expecting, another month on the shelf. That's a final date?"

"Absolutely. If I don't return then, you have my permission to fire me, not that you need it of course. I might even come back before then."

"Very well," he sighed, with an air of resignation (if you'll pardon the pun) rather than satisfaction.

irishregan

With an international break, Inter weren't back in action again until the 11th, when they laboured to a 1-0 win at home to Catania. It was a horrible performance, rescued only by an 85th minute Ibrahimovic strike. The dip in form was confirmed the following midweek, with a 2-1 reverse to our old rivals Milan in the first leg of the Italian Cup final. Worse still for the lads, they then had to face the Rossoneri again four days later, this time in the league.

In the event, they responded magnificently. Becks scorched in a free kick after 2 minutes, and after a Milan equaliser just before half time, the most unlikely of winners gave us the points, and pretty much certainly the title. Zaccardo was allowed to run into the box, and whilst the opposition probably expected a cross, he barreled onward, unleashing a curling top corner shot.

Our near decisive title race advantage was consolidated the week after, with a slightly skittish win at Chievo. Having been one down, a 2nd half volley of 3 goals seemed to settle things, only for then to get one back and give us a tough run for our money. The lads were lucky, quite frankly. Outplayed, outshot, and generally looking like a team in need of a few ideas and a kick up the arse. In short, it was time for Il Mato to return!

Amaroq

Congratulations, irishregan! Best Rest of the World Story at the FMS Awards 2007, and well deserved!

Well written, and deserved every vote, mate!

sherm

Well Done on your first FMS award Irish. May more follow KUTGW

irishregan

The cynics may think that I returned on the 1st of May for the mere fact that we had a home game with Reggina on the 2nd. That was rubbish of course, I was the sort of coach who had little idea who we were playing until a few days beforehand. Such was my inbuilt footballing superiority complex, one that was mirrored by the arrogance of a club like Inter, that I reckoned if we played to our best it didn't matter who the opposition was. It had caused a few rumpuses over the years, but only from people who didn't realise that I was completely different away from the game. My turbulent personal life was bereft of the high-handed certainty that I carried at all times in football.

The lads welcomed me back by and large, although I had heard that there was a little bit of grumbling from one or two of them who had been on the receiving end of my tongue lashings. I had to establish myself straight away, so rather than doing that in some childish way, by humiliating Mihajlovic or some random senior player, I just got the lads together for a team meeting. I announced that it was open season. The lads could say anything without recrimination, and they knew that I was secure enough that I wouldn't take it out on them later. There were some mutterings about me being too hard on them after defeats. We talked it out pretty well. I said I realised I could be a right bastard sometimes, but that they should always remember that I never ever criticised them in public. Also, I was clear in reminding them that I trusted them to prepare properly and treated them like grown men (code for my laziness), so I expected them not to let me down. I thought it went very well.

Young Nicola Conte, who had broken into the senior team at my instigation just before I went on leave, came up to me afterwards and said that he was relishing my return as manager, and that it had been a pleasure to play under me. He was a lifelong Inter fan, and since he had seen me play from the stands when he was a little kid, (which made me feel like a very geriatric 35 year old), playing under my management was an honour. That was nice. It wasn't like he was sucking up to me to get in the team either. Everybody already knew he was an outstanding prospect, with just the right streak of arrogance to know that he didn't have to kiss my behind to go places.

The game against Reggina went well too. Ibrahimovic just cleaned them up with a true hat-trick in 44 1st half minutes, although one of them was a penalty. They scored straight after that, but were never in it, and we took another stride towards the title.

In midweek, we tackled the Rossoneri in the 2nd leg of the Italian Cup Final. It was a desperately dour game, then in the 69th minute, Ibrahimovic (I was playing all the regulars) burst through and slammed home a fierce high drive. They came straight back at us, however they were de-railed by the sending off of Kalou for two yellows in the 77th. Our fans went bananas as we won the game and the trophy. I was surprised by the ferocity of it for just having won the Cup, then I remembered how much the loss of "our" title to them had rankled last season. Then it made sense.

We headed for Livorno with a 5 point lead over our rivals, and I was expecting a win. Instead we produced absolutely nothing in the 1st half, and were actually on the receiving end a little bit. Somewhat against the run of play, Ibrahimovic gave us the lead on 53 with another of his fierce drives. However, we conceded from a direct free kick on 69, and started to cop it a little bit. In the end, I had to be satisfied with a draw, and I was because it was all we deserved. I didn't rip the players afterwards. I was mindful of what they'd asked for, and also that we still had a 3 point lead, with two winnable games left.

The first of those was at home to Piacenza on Sunday the 16th. It was more tense than it should have been. The visitors played on our nerves, frustrating us until the crowd got audibly restless, in the knowledge that Milan were winning. Chances went begging until the 43rd minute, when that man Ibrahimovic did it again, this time firing in a free kick. The crowd went into transports of delight. The tension still remained though. They knew watching this team could be an adventure. I felt the visitors were too limited to come back, and Ibrahimovic sealed the points in the 72nd minute with a remarkable 30 yard bender. He really had his shooting boots on lately, and there's no question that if we won the title, it would be principally down to his massive scoring returns.

I wouldn't say the win helped us relax. We still had work to do, yet the scenario in the title race was massively in our favour. Three points up, we needed to lose and Milan win about 5-0 to claim the title. We set off for Bergamo, just a few miles from Milan to face Atalanta. It would have been nice to clinch at home, though as always with a club like Inter, we had a massive travelling support on hand. Maxi Rodriguez gave us a great start, tapping home an Ibrahimovic rebound (10). On 21, Ashton found himself clean through and tucked it away, and our support was already celebrating the title. I suppose it was certain now. Even more so in the 49th, when fittingly, Ibrahimovic tapped home a Rodriguez cross. A late Atalanta goal went almost unnoticed. Officials were already bringing the trophy into the tunnel area, and as soon as the final whistle went, the title party spilled onto the pitch. We had won the big prize yet again, and burned the disappointment of last year's collapse out of our collective memory. As I was mobbed by everyone from the chairman to the kit man, I felt a great sense of achievement...and a great certainty about the future.

irishregan

[I]Thanks Amaroq, and huge congratulations on your outstanding show at the awards. I voted for you, and clearly everyone else did!

It's proof too that although most people despise American foreign policy, we realise there are plenty of good, sensible Americans left in that country. Well, one that I know of anyway...

Thanks also Sherm. If only you could keep up your stories for more than a week or two, you could well win some awards (hint hint)

irishregan

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> | Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 1st | C | Inter | | 38 | 26 | 9 | 3 | 72 | 33 | +39 | 87 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 2nd | | Milan | | 38 | 24 | 9 | 5 | 51 | 19 | +32 | 81 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 3rd | | Chievo | | 38 | 20 | 8 | 10 | 49 | 38 | +11 | 68 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 4th | | Fiorentina | | 38 | 18 | 13 | 7 | 53 | 28 | +25 | 67 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 5th | | Palermo | | 38 | 15 | 18 | 5 | 40 | 22 | +18 | 63 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 6th | | Sampdoria | | 38 | 19 | 5 | 14 | 49 | 43 | +6 | 62 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 7th | | Juventus | | 38 | 17 | 8 | 13 | 51 | 45 | +6 | 59 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 8th | | Lazio | | 38 | 14 | 10 | 14 | 44 | 42 | +2 | 52 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 9th | | Torino | | 38 | 14 | 9 | 15 | 59 | 57 | +2 | 51 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 10th | | Ascoli | | 38 | 14 | 9 | 15 | 38 | 42 | -4 | 51 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 11th | | Parma | | 38 | 13 | 10 | 15 | 44 | 49 | -5 | 49 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12th | | Livorno | | 38 | 11 | 12 | 15 | 34 | 38 | -4 | 45 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 13th | | Roma | | 38 | 10 | 14 | 14 | 40 | 47 | -7 | 44 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 14th | | Piacenza | | 38 | 12 | 7 | 19 | 27 | 41 | -14 | 43 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 15th | | Napoli | | 38 | 10 | 12 | 16 | 42 | 50 | -8 | 42 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 16th | | Atalanta | | 38 | 8 | 14 | 16 | 22 | 33 | -11 | 38 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 17th | | Reggina | | 38 | 8 | 10 | 20 | 35 | 55 | -20 | 34 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 18th | R | Messina | | 38 | 7 | 13 | 18 | 29 | 51 | -22 | 34 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 19th | R | Udinese | | 38 | 8 | 9 | 21 | 40 | 62 | -22 | 33 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20th | R | Catania | | 38 | 7 | 11 | 20 | 36 | 60 | -24 | 32 | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| </pre>