retired_claire

Unlucky, but KUTGW :thup:

retired_gabachitalinda

Let's keep it going lads, dominate Asia

retired_swmchick2006

Part Seven: (Not quite) starting over

Pin-stripes. Sunglasses. Locked rooms. Sweaty Palms.

I think you know the scene. Add this time: The distinct smell of baking bread.

I know, I know... I have no idea why, but it's what I remember.

Of course, it was heavily masked by that other bread smell. You know... the paper kind.

Dough.

Cash.

Greenbacks.

Dead presidents.

The next morning, Fleming and I sat on the roof, poolside, waiting for our breakfast to arrive.

"What's the damages?" I asked, "Who's been cut..."

Fleming cleared his throat.

"No, hold on, lemme rephrase that question." I asked the waiter for some aspirin, strong coffee, and large glass of orange juice. When they arrived, I swallowed the pills, guzzled the juice, and leaned back in my chair as I smelled the coffee. It was good.

"Okay," I said, after Fleming looked a bit better too, "Let's try that again. Tell me, who do we have left?"

Fleming nodded. "I count ten not deemed surplus to the FA's viewpoint. Heald."

"Not suprising. He's the only proven keeper we've got. But he's a goodie-two-shoes, brown-nosing, punk... plus he plays for Ipswich."

"Iba."

"Unproven... but promising. Okay."

"Speedy."

"A flake. We can handle that."

"al-Milito."

"Another flake. We're starting to get a bowl of them."

"Pants."

"Certifiably insane."

Fleming nodded his head in agreement. "Could be a good player though. T.D.D."

"Half-a-player."

"Di Chiara."

"Pompous snob.... but good player."

"Al Khopiti."

"A deaf-mute."

"Really?"

"Actually, I have no idea... but I don't think I've heard him say more than two words at a time."

"Xenao."

"Hmmm... quiet, reliable, but not shown to be world class yet."

"... and Power."

"Lord help us if he ever has to take a drug test... and that's it?"

Fleming looked down at his papers. "Ah-yup. Our man who set the record for most caps is gone, our super-sub striker, reliable midfield goal-scorer... etc... etc... etc..." He sighed. "It's like starting over again."

"Except this time... it's replacements we're looking for, not totally new players."

"Doesn't make it that much better."

---

Al Khopiti NEC (11th in Dutch Premier)
Club: 21 apps, 1 goal, 2 MOM, 4.6 Tackles per game, AVR 7.43
International: 15 apps, 1 MOM, AVR 7.25

Di Chiara Napoli (moved from Sturm Graz for 9.75 Million)
Club (Sturm Graz): 30 apps, 1 goal, 1 assist, 1 MOM, AVR 7.43
International: 14(1) apps, 1 goal, 1 assist, AVR 7.27

Jim Heald Ipswich (moved from Lyon for 800k)
Club (Lyon): 8(1) apps, 9 conceeded, AVR 6.67
International: 14 apps, 10 conceeded, 1 MOM, AVR 7.36
French Cup Runner-up

Max Power Rangers
Club: 4 apps, 2 goals, AVR 7.75
International: 12(1) apps, 7 goals, 3 MOM, AVR 7.62

Oily Pants Aachen (finished 10th in German 1st Division)
Club: 10(11) apps, 1 MOM, AVR 7.05
International: 16 apps, 2 assists, AVR 6.94

Speedy Valladolid (finished 10th in Spanish 1st division), (moved from Xerez for 1 million)
Club (Valladolid): 19(2) apps, 4 assists, AVR 6.53
Club (Xerez): 12 (3) apps, 3 goals, 2 assists, 1 MOM, AVR 7.27
International: 13(1) apps, 4 assists, 1 MOM, AVR 7.00

T.D.D Telstar (finished 2nd in Dutch 1st division)
Club: 0(3), AVR 6.33
International: 3(9) apps, 1 goal, AVR 6.50

Walter al-Milito Leganes (finsihed 10th in Spanish 2nd)
Club: 34 (1) apps, 5 goals, 8 assists, 2 MOM, AVR 7.15
Club (Leganes B): 3 apps, 1 assists, AVR 7.33
International: 8(5) apps, 6 assists, 2 MOM, AVR 7.30

Xenao Offenbach (finished 4th in German 2nd division)
Club: 4(16) apps, 3 assists, AVR 6.55
International: 13 apps, 1 goal, 2 assists, 1 MOM, 4.5 Tackles per game, AVR 7.20

retired_swmchick2006

Iba Venezia (finished 9th in Serie B)
Club: 21 apps, 2 goals, 2 assists, AVR 7.10
International: 9(4) apps, 3 goals, 2 assists, AVR 6.92

retired_calli240

Oily has several cousins from the same trailer park who would love to fill the missing places.

The only problem is that they're all conjoined and have a single kidney between them \0/

It'll be a nightmare finding kit to fit...

retired_swmchick2006

starting over (continued)

Fleming and I knew we had three priority positions to fill. The World Cup had proved we needed a solid number two keeper to cover in case of injury or suspension to Heald. Al-Dosary had done well, but giving up three goals to Italy and two to Croatia wasn't the sort of performance we needed from our replacements. The second position we had to fill was for a right-back to be slotted into the starting line-ups as soon as possible. (The 'out-of-favor' players meant we had no natural choices for the first team role.) The third was a striker... and several options would be better than one.

When we had to do this before, Fleming and I had to take ourselves to all the root organizations and youth teams to try and scout and find our prospects. This time, we'd leave the finding to our batch of scouts we'd accumulated since then. Over the next few weeks we scoured the reports for news of ideal targets. With the scouts covering more territory than we did, it did not take very long before the first good news started trickling in.

And the first place we chose to go was... Bulgaria.

No joke.

"The brother of one of our scouts has been working in Bulgaria and spotted this kid... eighteen... in Pleven." Fleming told me one afternoon.

"Ah... huh." I gave him a quizzical look.

"No, no joke. He says the kid is the greatest thing since Banitza in the morning and Kyopolou in the evening." He tried to keep a straight face. He couldn't.

After he stopped laughing I said, "So are we going or not?"

"Well, we might as well. The scout says he's playing amateur ball right now, but thinks he's clearly one of the fastest defenders in the region."

"And that's saying.... what exactly?"

But the kid was good, pacey, fairly skilled for a defender, good mental approach, willing to sign on the dotted line... Perhaps I should have said... more than willing to sign on the dotted line. Our offers were as convincing as ever, but now we'd even come up with a few innovations to our recruiting as well.

"Congratulations on your first cap with the Qatari national team," Fleming told 'Maxi' Petrov through the interpreter while he handed him the brown envelope with all the trappings required for changing nationality.

After a confused exchange, the translator asked me when this cap occurred. "Today," I said, "Qatar just played Vanuatu in a international 'B' friendly. Petrov there just made 4 tackles. Impressive."

The next step was getting the kid a professional contract, which Fleming handled easily enough. "Full squad status... plus back pay for several years of service."

"Nicely done."

"... and here is something for you." He passed over a blue and white Spartak Pleven shirt. "Complementary, of course."

"Of course." I said.

A quick jaunt back to Qatar, and then we were headed to our South American bureau. Heheh... (Really it was just an office in Rio, but who is complaining?)

Our target was a 19-year-old goalkeeper in Chile by the name of Alexandre Drewana. He'd become something of a cult favorite at his club (having gained noteriety for being able to save penalites by psyching out the taker with a fierce glare).

"He's good."

"Very good," I said. "He's fecking fantastic in the air."

Fleming turned to me. "Did you just say fecking?"

"No, I just said fecking. Get your ears cleaned you fecking feck."

"Riiiiiight."

After our usual arrangement had been made, and a new club contract (Drewana had requested Wisla Krakow, but we couldn't quite swing that so we set him up to go to Aalen in Germany). Before we left he suggested we take a look at a fullback on the books at there at Colo Colo.

Birdinha was his name.

"Why the name?" Fleming and I wondered. It didn't take long to figure out, the kid was crazy as a fecking loon.

"Yeah, he's mad as a hatter... didja catch that non-sequiter about how he regretted belonging to certain organizations as a youth..." Fleming said as we discussed whether to bother with the 22-year old, "but he's pretty solid as a player on either the left or right, and we could certainly use reliable cover. Particularly since Petrov is still fairly unproven."

"If this keeps up, we'll have an insane asylum, not a football team."

"Yeah, but are we patients too?"

After we'd gotten back to Qatar to set up our next trip, we heard some shocking news. Birdinha had been stabbed during a knife fight. "All the kid keeps saying is 'I'll get you Roman Abramovic" over and over." I told Fleming, after talking to the doctors.

"But he'll be fine?"

"Physically sure, but the doctors want to keep him under observation for a few weeks just to make sure his mental stability has returned. They put a cast on him to make sure he can't really leave the hospital."

Fleming just shook his head. "We're gonna need a on-call pschiatrist intead of a physio with this lot."

Next trip was a relatively short flight to Greece. "Ah, it seems like old times again." I said as we stepped off the jet. " 'How the seasons do turn like ever-rolling stones amongst the raging river'."

"I'm sorry, were you talking to me? I still have this wicked hangover from last night."

"Never mind."

At the club Iraklis we had this reaction.

"Wow," I said.

"Holy feck," Fleming said. I gave him a look, but he ignored me. He turned to the coaches, "He's only 17? Really?" They nodded, and then grinned broadly. They were about to receive a generous bonus to their income.

Samaras Taraldo was the kid's name, a good all-around player with two main weaknesses. He couldn't tackle, and 90% of his passes were square ones to the guy 10 feet away. He had blazing speed though (used to be a sprinter), and could play anywhere from the center of midfield to the striker position. He also had no problems with becoming a very, very rich 17 year-old, which Fleming and I naturally appreciated. A new club would be in order at some point, but Iraklis would do for now.

That took our new total to 4.

retired_gabachitalinda

Dear all at Home,

How is everyone back home in Holland. I'm missing you all, despite the fact that it's lovely in this 7 bedroom, desert pad in the middle of Qatar.

This is mainly due to the fact that the management have not only nicknamed me T.D.D but they have also "Aquired" so many loonies it feels like a mental institution, I feel I am the only sane one here!

Missing You!

retired_swmchick2006

Starting Over (continued)

"No. Forget it. No way. I ain't gonna do it."

Fleming just sat in his chair.

"No."

He tapped the paper in front of him.

"I don't care what the scout says, I'm not going to Nepal to look at another more than likely half-cracked... What nationality was he again?"

"Welsh."

"...Welsh football player whose been 'walking the world on foot for the children'. It's just... no, I can't do it."

He tapped the paper in front of him.

"No."

He picked it up and read from it, "Pacey, strong in the air, left footed, good eye for goal... used to play professionally. Still on contract at Guiseley."

"No."

Touching down at Kathmandu is always a bit of a blissful experience. Getting a new Qatari national (Tillnx) to sign on the dotted line... it's own sort of blissful experience. Ah, who am I kidding, they are nothing alike. We'd have to do something about his club contract though.

Our next purch... er... signing, was a 16-year-old defender from Brazil going by the hopeful name of Roberto Maradona. Young, unproven, talented, determined, and rated highly by our scouts in the region. He had to sign the papers with his off hand because he'd slammed his writing hand in the car door as he'd arrived at our meeting. ("Hope that's not a trend," Fleming said.)

Two utility players came next, midfielder Matthew Fairgrieve and defender Luciano Scarinzi. Fairgrieve had been at Celtic for a time before he'd lost his spot in the reserve squad when he'd come back from injury. Fairly solid at only 17, but with plenty of area to improve. Scarinzi looked like the classic Italian defender ... or like a new member of Slayer. ("Either way, forwards probably won't want to come anywhere near him," Fleming noted.)

retired_swmchick2006

Starting Over (concluded)

Fleming and I had only one more roster spot we were trying to fill, and it was a high profile striker position.

We had a target in mind.

"Paco Takahara. He's a dual national... Mexican and Japanese... but he's playing for Laredo."

"Texas?"

Fleming checked his notes, "um... no in Spain. Our scouts are practically giddy with the amount of talent he's shown and there have been scouts from Barcelona and the two Madrids at his club to watch him over the last two weeks."

"Huh."

"He looks very good from everything I've seen, but he's been real cagey with any of our approaches from the scouts already there."

"So we need to make a visitation?"

"I think so," nodded Fleming. "He requires our personal convincing."

A flight there and back and we'd gotten his signature on the documents, handed over the papers, and were back 'home' to relax while our next game was arranged (no sign of it coming over the next few months).

A few days after we'd gotten home, we got a phone call from one of our scouts. All he said was, "I think you'll want to read the news today."

"What the...?" I said, after Fleming had stopped.

"How could he..." Fleming said.

He jumped up from the breakfast table and ran to scour his papers for all our documents. He came back with a folder after a few minutes. He handed over the page with Takahara's signature.

It was there. Or I should say, we had a nice clear signature for one: "Seymour Butts"

"Bugger."

Fleming nodded.

The next morning I received a postcard at the clubhouse.

"Thanks for the cash, you idiots. - P.T."

"It's for you," I told Fleming.

So we were back to looking for a striker. "Have to admit, that kid's got moxie," Fleming told me as we restarted our search. "But don't get me wrong... I'd have no problem if Pants gave him a right knee-capping should we happen to face him anytime over the next years."

"Me too. I'd have no problem if he gets a knee-capping even if we don't face him. But we'll have to watch his progress." He was the one who got away. You kind of had to respect that. The punk.

Our signing at striker turned out to be a local kid. "Qatari, 16, fast, very unproven, but the scouts seem to think this kid is our next best option."

"Feelio Al Jabber."

"Yup."

"Sounds promising."

"We've had some success with the other natural Qataris, Al Khopiti & Iba, so maybe we'll be thrice lucky?"

"I hope so."

And now all we had to do was wait for our next game, and we had no idea when that would be.

Thankfully, we had some club meddling to do in the meantime. "Time to improve some contracts," Fleming said with glee.