retired_bxterror29

Saturday 1st July 2006.

I looked at the pathetic rather slim pile of files produced by Allison. Only seven. I looked out Looney’s file and put it to one side. I certainly knew more about him than could ever be recorded in even the most comprehensive report.

Having sorted them out by job the first thing that struck me was that we had no Assistant Manager. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

The second thing was the almost complete absence of reports within the file of our one and only Scout. Normally their file is the thickest of all but here it was safe to say that Ross Millar had the thinnest Scout’s file I had ever seen. It was even thinner than Looney’s and he had only started here yesterday!

Bang on time Allison announced that all the football staff was present. I told her to show them in and to arrange for any drinks that were required.

“Anything except alcohol!”

Once everybody was settled and with Allison firmly entrenched in the rear I welcomed everybody saying that I was glad to be here with them and that I hoped that we, and the club, could make significant progress on the field of play.

I again repeated my statement that provided they were at least capable then everybody’s job was secure until at least Christmas and, as I was aware, that everybody’s contract expired in one year’s time we could begin, or not, negotiations for a new contract at that time. I also pointed that that whereas I might want them to stay they did not necessarily want to stay with me at the helm but at least we would have six months to get to know each other.

So far I detected no hostility and everybody seemed happy with what I had said so far.

“I am not oblivious to the fact that we have a home friendly against Glasgow Rangers this afternoon.” “I intend to take no part in the selection process nor game instructions nor in-game tactics or changes.” “I will be watching from the stand but that is as close as I will get to the proceedings.” “The reason for this is fairly obvious – you know the players and the best team available to us using tactics that work best for us.”

“Next Saturday we are at home to York and the following Tuesday at home to Stirling.” “I might be fit for purposes for the Stirling game but don’t bet your mortgage on that.”

“Right then does anybody have anything for me?”

“OK then I’ll be down to explain the situation to the players when they arrive at twelve.”

“Ross would you stay behind please?” “As for the rest off you go.”
I waited until Allison had ushered everybody out, cleared up the crockery and glasses, and settled in to what was becoming her Tail End Charlie position.

“Right Ross you are our only Scout so our future is very much in your hands.” “What players do you have in the pipeline for us?”

“Well to be honest Boss nobody.”

“What no Schoolboys, no Youths, no old lags looking for a berth to hide in?”

“No.”

“Who and where have you been scouting lately?”

“Well nobody and nowhere really Boss.” “It is the holiday season and nobody is playing anywhere.”

“Looking at your reports it would appear that the whole of Scotland has been shut for the past thirteen months.”

What followed is best described as a pregnant silence. Ross wouldn’t even look me in the eye.

I allowed the silence to rumble on for a full two minutes during which Ross Millar made no attempt to speak or to offer any excuses.

“I am not an idiot Ross and I resent you thinking that you can pull the wool over my eyes.” “The hardest thing you have done over the past thirteen months is fill in your Expense Sheet and that stops right now.”

“My advice to you Ross is to accept the mutual termination of your contract that I am now offering you.” “That is more preferable than being sacked and don’t bother asking for a termination fee.”

“I accept.”

“Good.” “Allison will you arrange that please?”

“Goodbye Ross in spite of our parting in such a manner I wish you luck in the future.” “I think you will need it.”

Allison ushered him out and returned after about 15 minutes.

“He’s gone.”

“Good.”

“I’m meeting the players at twelve so that might be a good time for you to organise yourself a lunch break.” “In the meantime I have a few more jobs for you.” “Place an advertisement for an Assistant Manager and a Scout for the club.” “I also want you to contact Dean Jones, Jim Smyth and Carl Radcliffe for me.” “They will be in one of the football directories but that kind of thing should be easier once I get my stuff up here from Irvine.” “I want to talk to each of them personally on the phone.”

“I also want you to arrange a Storage/Removal Company to collect my gear from Irvine.” “I don’t know how long storage will be required but certainly a few months.” “When you have those details I will take a couple of days off to go to Irvine and arrange things at that end.”

“I also want you to inform The Links Hotel that I will require the suite again for an indefinite period and probably for a few months.” “If that is not acceptable to them then make alternative suitable arrangements at another hotel.”

“Right off you go – I’ve got some files to study.”

Gary Watt, 33 years old, was a general coach who looked more like a fitness coach due to a decided lack of football skills He did have a reasonable Tactical awareness though so I was content to leave him as is and see how he developed on the football field. Unless there was a spectacular improvement in his skills though I could not see me renewing his contract. I was never one to predict the future though so I remained open minded.

Fraser Mooney, 40 years old, Looney to his friends was our Goalkeeping Coach. I anticipated that the only problem I would have here was keeping him once other clubs became aware of his abilities. A definite contract renewal if a suitable deal could be worked out.

Billy Robinson, 35 years old, Fitness Coach and a better one than I thought Watt would make. He also possessed excellent Tactical and Technical skills and was a determined highly motivated Coach. Like Looney my biggest problem would be keeping him and getting him to agree a contract renewal.

Ian McKay, 56 years old, was our Youth coach and he was very good. Very highly motivated he possessed good determination and an above average ability to separate the wheat from the chaff. Although he was getting on in years he still had a lot to offer the club. Would more than likely be offered a new contract when the time came.

Alan Marshall, 43 years old, was our chief Physiotherapist and was slightly above the average standard for this league. Another likely candidate for a new contract in a year’s time.

Jim Connolly, 41 years old, just about passed muster as a Physiotherapist but other than that possessed no skills whatsoever. Unlikely to see a renewal from me.

That then was the staff I had to work with and upon whose skills I had to rely on preparing my team for the season. I planned to add to and improve them as quickly as possible.

At about 10 minutes before Midday I told Allison to have a good lunch then made my way down to the pitch.

I chatted with the staff for a few minutes then, when we were sure that every available player was on the pitch, I had then gather round.

I told them of the arrangements for the afternoon game and that the principal would almost certainly continue to the York game and possibly even our Tuesday evening game against Stirling.

I don’t know if I was disappointed or not but none of the players seemed unduly perturbed. I wished them luck with the games and turned them over to the staff. I remained on the sidelines for about another 20 or 25 minutes apparently studying the players but I was actually watching the performances of the staff. As it was only a gentle pre-match work out/warm up I didn’t expect to see anything spectacular and I wasn’t disappointed.

I returned to the office and was presented with a Hospitality Menu Card by Allison suggesting that I too needed to eat.

Through her I ordered the Soup, Liver & Bacon + vegetables, and a calorie ridden Fruit Pudding with Custard. While I was waiting I just sat there and mulled over the events of the day so far and what still remained to be done. Unfortunately the latter well outweighed the former.

My deep thoughts continued through out my lunch with the brain demanding more attention than my stomach. I felt that the meal was very good but the brain didn’t allow me to enjoy it.

I finally forced myself to relax and eventually I buzzed Allison who, after clearing away the debris from my lunch, loaded up my desk with the player files.

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retired_bxterror29

I'm afraid that's it for about a week. Medical science is demanding that my body attends the local disease factory. I should be back round about 15th/16th August.

retired_rahalbob

I shall wait until then, then

retired_bxterror29

Saturday 1st July 2006

“Before I leave you to your files Jim, Ryan asked me to remind you that the monthly Board meeting takes place on Monday at 2 p.m.” “This is a normal regular meeting.” “They always happen on the first Monday of the month.”

“It is normal for the manager to attend this meeting but he only attends other Board Meetings by invitation.”

“OK I can live with that but, if you think it is necessary then give Ryan my compliments and remind him that you will be present also.”

“It might be a good idea Allison if you spoke to him anyway and ask him to issue a Club Memo or something outlining your new position and duties.”

“OK Jim.”

“One last thing Jim, I have made progress with the issue of the admin staff.”

“OK shoot.”

“Ryan identified a total of 27 staff that we could live without.”

“27! God I knew there would be a lot but I never dreamt it would be that many.”

“I’m afraid so.” “There were a fair few casual and part time workers scattered throughout the Catering, Cleaning. Ground and Laundry Departments.” “Apart from a relief Catering Shift they all finish next week at the latest.”

“That brings us down to 15 of which 8 were casual labour/part time and 6 of them again will all be gone by next week.”

“We have retained two Part Timers on a job share – sort of a Girl Friday/General Admin type thing and they will start their new job on Monday.

“The remaining 7 are all serving out their current contracts.” “All secretaries but, apart from one none of them will be missed.” “I’m of course your new Personal Assistant so will be remaining once my new contract is drawn up and agreed.” “Sandra has been rehired as a new Secretary for both the Board and the Director of Football and like me is awaiting her new contract.”

“That just leaves Elizabeth who will be missed.” “Not only is she a good Secretary but she also possesses good people and communication skills.” “I have no wish to interfere but if there is anything you can do for her I’d appreciate it.”

“The good news is that all department heads believe that they will manage with the staff that remain.”

“Well that is good news Allison.” “Thanks for your effort and I’ll see what I can do about Elizabeth.” “Is she a particular friend of yours?”

“No we shared the odd moment of girlie talk but that was it and never on what you could call a regular basis.” “It’s just that Montrose is not overrun with good secretaries and I’d hate the club to lose one that could well be invaluable at some point in the future.”

“Point taken – anything else?”

“Charlie Anderson says he is very busy at the moment and can’t say when he will be free to accept an appointment with you.”

There is total silence on the Director of Football front.” “Nobody seems to know anything or if they do they are not saying.”

“I’ve left messages on their answer phones for Dean Smith and Carl Radcliffe to contact us.” “I have not been able to contact Jim Smyth so far.”

“ The storage/removal company will get back to me on Monday with some dates and they have no problems with the length of time you require for storage.”

“The Hotel are more than happy to meet your requirements and I even managed to negotiate a ‘long stay’ discount on behalf of the club.”

“Thanks for all that Allison.” “I won’t start on those files yet as it is getting pretty close to match time.” “One last thing please will you stock that bathroom up with some toiletries including shaving gear.” “I’ll leave a couple of suits and a clothing change in there once I am organised so you better get some hangers etc.” “I also think you have done enough for one day so once you have shopped for my gear don’t come back here until Monday.” “I’ll spend the time between now and the match in the boardroom.”

I can’t explain why but for some reason my mood had changed since lunch and was rapidly descending into a bad one. I wanted Allison out of here before I did or said something that I would regret at a later date. I told her to enjoy her weekend then headed for the Boardroom.

Although not overly full there was a fair collection of Directors, Visitors and Guests making good use of the free buffet and drinks when I arrived. A quick glance round revealed one or two faces that were becoming more familiar by the day. Ryan and wife of course with Stevie McKeown, and heading another group, Garry Kerr the money man with whom I had yet to have a serious conversation. I definitely was in no mood to talk to either of them so drifted towards the bar hoping that everybody would respect my obvious desire for solitude.

I had just ordered a soft drink when the solitude was shattered by a heavy thump on my back accompanied by a hearty “Hello Jim, Long time no see.”
I turned to find myself looking at a beaming smile on the face of Brian Cameron, Ranger’s Assistant Manager. We had never been on the same pitch together, he had been way above my standard of football having gained 60 odd full International caps for Scotland, but we always seemed to turn up together on the same courses and had slowly built a friendship via that route.

Receiving my drink we found a reasonably quiet corner and went through the normal old friend’s conversation of where you have been, what you have done, etc. One thing that seemed to have particularly tickled his sense of humour was the fact that in spite of him being a lot more successful than I on the football pitch I had definitely beat him to it in the managerial stakes off the pitch. That presaged a bit of serious banter which went a long way to easing my mood. With an offer of “anything I can do to help just ring” he had to leave to see to his team. He was in charge today and I think a bit disappointed that we would not be crossing swords.

Montrose v Glasgow Rangers Friendly

Rangers fielded virtually a Reserve/Under 19 team which, by their standards, should not only give us a good game and a serious test but should see us off the park.

I suspect that Gary Watts had been elected to stand in my place as we started of in a pretty conservative 4-4-2 formation that seemed to anticipate us being swamped by Rangers. When that hadn’t happened after 20 minutes play we began to be a bit more adventurous and started to seriously encroach into Rangers defensive areas which set up a better game for the spectators. A few near misses by both sides generated a bit of excitement and the crowd started to encourage our team to greater efforts.

At the half time whistle we went in with a score line of 0-0 to our credit.

During the interval I reflected on what I had seen so far.

Defensively we were doing alright although this was mainly due to the efforts of our goalkeeper who was organising those immediately in front of him very well.

The midfield was the strongest part of our game so far by controlling their area very well, assisting in defence, and getting our forwards going. The one exception here was the Left Wing where either the player was performing way out of his normal position or he was having a very bad day. There was always the possibility that he was crap but I wouldn’t make that judgement yet.

The forwards had performed adequately without creating too many problems for Rangers Goalkeeper.

As the teams came out for the second have the Public Address system blared out a total of nine changes to our line up.

I made a mental note to thank Gary for this. At least now I would have seen 20 of our players in action.

We came out of the starting blocks like thoroughbreds competing for the Grand National. Rangers were well and truly trapped in their own half for the first ten minutes or so and, so far, had never looked capable of finding a way out.

The pressure finally told in the 12th minute when a lovely pass from our midfield to the right wing saw our man scamper off heading straight for the bye-line at a great rate of knots closely escorted by Ranger’s Left Back. The winger stopped, the back didn’t and was last seen heading for the advertising boards, a beautiful cross from our man dropped straight onto a forwards head and Bingo! One up.

The crowd were ecstatic. One up against Rangers and an excellent goal at that. Paradise was meant to be like this.

Rangers kicked off and it was more of the same. They could not break into our half at all. We were all over them and if not for their keeper’s heroic efforts they would have been hammered out of sight by our rampant team.

A second goal for us duly arrived with less than ten minutes to go but this was more a credit to a complete mix-up between their defence and goalkeeper than to any great play on our part.

At the final whistle I went down to the dressing room and congratulated all concerned and even managed a few words of condolence with Brian Cameron before he left.

I did not go back to the Boardroom instead collecting the player files from my office I called for a cab and adjourned to the hotel for some serious reading.

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Saturday 1st July 2006

retired_bxterror29

Saturday 1st July 2006.

I arranged for dinner to be served in my room and elected for a light salad. Anticipating a few hunger pangs later on I also pre-ordered a few sandwiches and Pot of Coffee for 10 p.m.

Before anything else I sat down and reflected upon the second half of this afternoon’s game.

The new defence, with the exception of the Goalkeeper who had not been changed, had a lot less work to do than their counterparts in the first half. On the few occasions where they had been called upon to perform they had played adequately but again marshalled by the keeper.

The midfield, with the exception of the unchanged left winger, had performed even better than those they had replaced. How much of this was down to Ranger’s lack of ambition remained to be seen.

The new forwards were just as good, no better no worse, than their predecessors.

I silently wished I could put names to those involved but that would come eventually.

I sorted out the files by player position within their designated squad them armed with notepad and pencil got down to some serious work.

By ten, when my late supper arrived, I had managed to solve at least one problem.

The only ML/AML we had was a 15 year old kid playing in the Under 19 Squad. It was hardly surprising that Gary had preferred to play someone out of position rather than expose someone so young to the tender mercies of Glasgow Rangers. Although it didn’t materialise on the day a torrid time could have destroyed any confidence the kid might have had. One up to Gary.

Top of my ‘Needs List’ one ML/AML.

Of our total 35 man squad 18 were under 20 years old 10 of which were designated Under 19 players. They could, on paper, easily be joined by 4 designated as Reserves and a further 4 listed as First Team Players.

Although those playing today had performed adequately I didn’t doubt that all of them would be better off learning their profession in the Reserves or Under 19 Squad rather than struggling to keep up in the First Team. One thing I was thankful for was that at this level I did not have a ‘Squad must contain at least three Under 21 players’ rule currently imposed on the Premier clubs. I figured that my younger players would learn quicker playing for the lower squads than they would sitting on the bench at a Third Division game.

While I had no doubt that some of those young kids would figure in my First Team plans for the moment I preferred them not to be in that particular squad.

In theory therefore I had a potential First Team Squad of only 17 players. Not large by any standards particularly towards the end of a season when injuries, suspensions and tiredness begin to kick in.

My First Team (On Paper) Squad therefore looked like this.

Goalkeeper. Paul Irvine. 20 years old.

Presumably the man I admired earlier today but all his coaching reports spoke of Potential and none rating him all that highly although he was recognised as the best keeper on our books. Contracted until 2009 so there was no rush to make any urgent decisions.

Defender Right/Centre. Derek Harvey. 28 years old.

A natural Right or Central Defender. Almost certainly featured in our defence today without being a standout performer. Graded in his reports as a useful squad member.

Defender Right/Centre. Steve Sinclair. 36 years old.

A natural Right Defender considered to be only a backup in the Central Defensive position. I don’t remember anyone this old on the pitch today so I believe Sinclair to be a player yet to be seen. Currently pursuing his Coaching Badges and Transfer Listed at his own request. Seems to have some sort of issue with the club and he certainly is not the happiest player on our books. Strangely enough there are no coaching reports in his file. Whatever the reason for that either he will go under a transfer or will be allowed to leave when his contract ends this season.

Defender Right. Mark Walker. 25 years old.

A natural Right Defender who probably played earlier today. Described in his reports as a useful player but not expected to become any better than he is now. His contract runs out in 2008.

Defender Centre. Craig Cairns. 22 years old.

A natural Central Defender he is not rated particularly highly by the coaches. Described as a journeyman Third Division Defender his contract also runs out in 2008.

Defender Centre. Keith Campbell. 24 years old.

Another Journeyman not highly rated. His contract expires in 2008.

Defender Centre. George Wardlaw. 22 years old.

A natural very highly rated Central Defender with an excellent future according to his coach reports. Contracted to the club until 2008.

Defender/Attacking Midfielder Left/Centre. Mark Donald. 23 years old.

Another highly rated player better employed as a Left Back than any of his alternative positions. Contracted until 2008.

Defensive Midfielder. Ross Ferguson. 20 years old.

A natural right footed Defensive Midfielder seen as a potential great player for the club. Contracted until 2009.

Central Midfielder. Bryan Cameron. 24 years old.

A natural Central Midfielder who provides a steadying influence to the team. His contract finishes at the end of this season.

Central Midfielder. Sean Cheyne. 24 years old.

A natural Central Midfielder who is not very popular with the fans although he seems to be unaffected by this. Contract expires at the end of this season.

Central Midfielder. Alex McMullan. 26 years old.

A natural well thought of Central Midfielder whose very presence in the team is a great benefit.

Central Midfielder/Striker. Kieran Dair, 36 years old.

A natural Central Midfielder who can act as a back up Striker.

Although he did not appear today the coach reports indicate a player essential to the club who should be allowed to see out his career at the club. His contract has expired and he is on a rolling month to month deal.

Attacking Midfielder Right. Rod Wallace. 19 years old.

A natural Attacking Right Midfielder Wallace is described as a decent squad member. His contract expires in 2009.

Attacking Midfielder Right/Striker. Allan McMillan. 22 years old.

A natural Attacking Right Midfielder who doubles as a Striker who has shown great potential during training. His contract expires at the end of this season.

Striker. Dave Burrell. 22 years old.

A natural Striker described in his reports as a natural goal scorer requiring a good service if he is to maintain his current abilities. His contract expires at the end of this season.

Striker. Marlon Thomas. 23 years old.

Described as a natural Striker of average Third Division standard Thomas’s contract expires at the end of this season.

Even allowing for the late hour as I was dealing with an on paper squad most of which I couldn’t place on a football pitch then I had no decisions to make. That time would come soon enough.

My head hit the pillow about Midnight and it was not all that long before I was sound asleep.

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retired_bxterror29

Sunday 2nd July 2006.

Switching off my alarm on Saturday nights was a habit with me but I still woke up about seven. Lying there staring at the clock I decided that sleep was more important to me at the moment so simply rolled over and dropped off again

At nine o’clock my telephone roused me and a pleasant voice asked if I wanted my breakfast delivered to the room. I thought this a great idea so, with my waistline in mind, ordered fruit juice, cereals and toast which arrived while I was showering.

Casually dressed and with breakfast consumed I went back to my files.

Due to my earlier decision to use age as the divisor I had no Reserve Squad and an Under 19s squad comprised of one eighteen year old and sixteen fifteen and sixteen year olds.

Defender Central. Jon MacLeod. 18 years old.

A natural right footed Central Defender who might have played yesterday was written up by our Youth Coach Ian McKay as having all the attributes required to be a very good player.

That was the end of any worthwhile individual reports as all the others were of the has not been at the club long therefore unable to confidently report on this player variety.

While some of those players had undoubtedly appeared on the football field yesterday my inability to put faces to the names prevented me from forming any early impressions. I was still of the opinion that I had done the right thing but decided that the sooner I was on the field among the players the better. My problem was that I still had a lot to do off the field not least of which was moving home and that had to happen before the season proper started.

By now it was lunch time and rather than getting dressed I ordered via room service again. I could get used to this.

Lounging around the suite with some quiet background music soothing me the brain kept running over what I had achieved so far and to what extent those achievements might influence my stay at Montrose. With no instant answers forthcoming the brain switched to what was still to be done. A much longer list. I managed to formulate one idea that I might put to the Board tomorrow but as that was a non-football matter and not having formed any kind of relationship with any of the members except Ryan I was not exactly sure where I would stand.

Eventually I managed to get the brain to switch off, changed, and went down to Dinner.

I spent the evening switching Channels on the TV without really settling on anything for any length of time.

By ten I was in bed and heading for dreamland.



Monday 3rd July 2006.

I had forgotten to order an early breakfast but managed to scrounge some Coffee, Toast and Marmalade which was more than enough for me. Walking to the office carrying all the files was a bit awkward but I managed to get there without losing anything.

Allison was already in her office as I dropped the files off.

“Good Morning Jim.” “Get through them all?”

“Yeah!” “I actually finished by lunch yesterday.” “Somehow I thought it would have taken a bit longer.”

I took a seat and we just sat there chatting about nothing in particular and life in general for a while before I made my excuses and went back into my office.

Checking the bathroom I saw that I was now well stocked with a variety of toiletries, an electric razor, and just for good measure a wet shaving kit. Opening the built in Wardrobe I found a brand new fabric dressing gown and an assortment of empty hangers. Clean face flannels and towels occupied to top shelf. I knew that Allison was aware of the terms of my contract so I had no doubt that she was quiet simply passing on the receipts for all this to our Finance Department from whom she would be reimbursed.

Sitting at my desk again I just relaxed and allowed the brain to run over whatever came to mind.

The intercom buzzed.

“Yes Allison.”

“Dean Jones on Line 2.”

“Thank you.”

“Hello Dean, Jim Thomson here.” “How the devil are you?”

I had known Dean for a number of years. I first came across him when he turned up at Stafford Rangers ground looking for a trial. He was really raw then but he certainly had talent – and lots of it. While we were both at the club I kind of took him under my wing and it was then that I realised I also had a talent – for Coaching.

We had about two years together and grew pretty close but then I was moved on by the club. I kept track of Dean and was pleased when he made the grade by moving into League Football with Sheffield United at that time in the English Championship.

It did not take Dean long to establish himself as a regular first team player and by his second season had a few senior Premiership Clubs sniffing around.

A disastrous injury in the January of his second season ended that interest. Not only did he incur three leg breaks but severely damaged his Collateral and Cruciate Ligaments. At one point the doctors were not even sure he would walk again let alone kick a ball.

About eleven months into his treatment the doctors told him and Sheffield that he was finished as a football player. Once he was back on his feet he had managed to gain various coaching badges and started as a Junior Coach at Sheffield. For some reason this came to an end when his contract was terminated at the end of last season and he quite simply disappeared from the scene.

After a few minutes socialising I began to get to the point of his call.

“Dean what happened at Sheffield?” “I thought you were well set there?”

“You know the Manager there don’t you?” said Dean.

“Well we have never met but from what I hear of him I doubt very much if we would ever swap spit.”

“Yup you are not far wrong there Jim.” “After my injury much was made in public about how he and the club were looking after me and how I had a job for life etc.” “Behind the scenes though it was totally different.” “He would continually and at every opportunity belittle me in front of players.” “He often referred to me as his Cripple Coach.”

“The bastard!”

“But I wouldn’t quit which is what I think he really wanted all along but eventually he didn’t just not renew my contract he terminated it with two years to go.”

“By then I’d had enough so I just went home and have been here ever since.”

“I can see why Dean.” “God that man really is a pig.”

“Well my old mate I have what I hope you think is some good news for you.”

“I want you to come up to Montrose have a look around and if you like what you see then I am offering you the job as my Assistant Manager.” “I think it just might be what you need after your trauma at Sheffield.” “I know you to be determined. Christ your ability to get back on your feet after the injury is testament to that.” “I also believe that the same experiences that drove you out of the game could be the motivation you need to get back into it.”

“I can’t talk contracts with you that is not my department all I can say there is that it will be Part Time for now but if I have my way that will alter soon.” “The money won’t be all that much either but they do offer a pretty good package.”

“What do you say Dean?”

“Can I get back to you this afternoon?”

“Well I have a Board Meeting at two which could be a long one so you had better leave it until tomorrow morning but I want to emphasise that I do need your talents and I want you for the job sooner rather than later.”

“OK Jim I’ll get back to you in the morning – and thanks.”

“No problem.” “Talk to you tomorrow.”

Although perturbed at how Dean had been treated, how can some people be so cruel, I was well satisfied with the conversation? At least it had not been an instant thanks but no thanks.

When I had terminated the call Allison came in carrying the inevitable note book.

“Garry Kerr, the Financial Director, will need your bank details in order to credit you with your monthly pay.” “He also wants to know if you have any particular preference for your Company Car.” “He asked me to point out that Ryan prefers Vauxhalls so in that respect there is no choice.” “Garry has decided though to start from scratch with a brand new vehicle which, from past experience will take about two to three weeks to arrive from our local dealership.” “In the meantime he can arrange for a Hire Car which could be here this afternoon depending upon availability.” “I also have here the suggested dates by the Removal/Storage company with their contact number.” “They did point out that if those dates are not convenient then they could probably juggle things around and meet your requirements.”

“Thanks Allison, the bank details will have to wait until after I have been to Irvine.” “With regards to the vehicle I don’t really care about the model provided it has Automatic Transmission then I will be happy.” “I’m a lazy driver.” “I don’t like using my left foot.”

That raised a chuckle from Allison even though I was perfectly serious.

“I’ll contact the removal company myself in a minute then I can tell you what my movements/availability will be later on.”

“Anything else?”

“Only in the negative as I am still unable to contact Jim Smyth.” “His telephone seems to be permanently switched of and he obviously is not picking up his messages.”

“Hmmm – doesn’t sound like the Jim I know.”

“Keep trying anyway.” “He is bound to pick up sooner or later.”

Once Allison had left I picked up the telephone and punched the outside line button then dialling the Removal Company received a prompt reply, asked for, and was put through to the Manager. Introducing myself I found that he knew all about my requirements. I explained a change of plans that I had decided upon yesterday. I did not require any of my furniture moving as I had decided to move out with virtually just the shirt on my back and a few personal items. I explained that this would probably involve no more than about three or four boxes depending upon their size and I would want him to supply said boxes. I thought the whole move could be completed using only a Luton type van at most. I would arrange for the furniture to be disposed of locally.

He thought for a minute or so then produced a counter proposal.

“We will only charge the club for a Luton Van, two men, the boxes you require and the time and distance between here and Irvine.” “What I will actually do is send a full size removal van with a complete crew and will load up everything.” “Once here you get your boxes delivered as per your requirements and we will store and eventually sell everything else.” “I can’t quote you a price until I have actually seen the stuff but I can assure you it will be a fair price and will compare favourably with any local quotes you may get.”

Accepting his proposal I agreed to meet his crew in Irvine on Wednesday afternoon.

“One last thing Mr Thomson, get us promoted as quickly as you can!”

It seems I had found a fan.

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retired_bxterror29

Monday 3rd July 2006.

I switched on my computer and logging on to a couple of football sites from memory I perused the latest news, transfers, rumours etc. I began to trawl through ‘Available Players’ looking for any familiar names and particularly any ML/AML that might be of value to us. I initially set the filter to those on a free and was somewhat disappointed by the initial display.

Looking through their Player History or resume I only found one that might be worth a second look. I had just short listed him when the intercom went.

“Jim a blue automatic Astra will be in your parking slot by lunchtime.”

“Excellent Allison and while your on I will be in Irvine from Wednesday until Friday of this week and can you get a hold of the Agent for Tom Doyle. He is listed as living somewhere in Cumbria, probably Carlisle, so I expect his agent will be close by.

“OK Jim I’ve noted that and I’ll get back to you when I track down the agent.”

I went back to my site browsing but with no particular targets and no familiar names appearing I switched off after about ten minutes.

With nothing urgent pending I decided to familiarise myself with the club layout. After informing Allison I wandered out of my office and toured the premises. It took about twenty minutes to completely walk round meeting a few familiar and unknown faces in the process. I didn’t linger overly long with anyone just introduced myself where necessary and quickly moved on.

I found myself loitering in the Entrance Hall mulling over my idea when the door behind me swung open and turning I found myself looking at a young lady in National Car Hire uniform brandishing a clip board stuffed with papers in one hand and a bunch of keys in the other.

“Hire Car for a Mr Thomson.” She said brightly.

“As it happens that is me but I don’t know if you want me or the bill payer to sign your documents.”

“Well once I’ve checked your personal details and licence and we have inspected the vehicle together I can hand the car over to you before I need the bill payer’s signature.”

Having anticipated the need at some point in time I was carrying both parts of my licence so those formalities only took a few minutes. The car was as expected a blue Automatic Astra 1.6 Club, 06 plates, with less than 3000 miles on the clock and a full tank of juice. What more could you ask for?

I pocketed the keys, directed the lady to Garry Kerr’s office, and continued my tour which only lasted a few more minutes.

Returning to Allison’s office she looked at me quizzically and said “Lunch?”

“I’ve decided that we should have it in the club lounge today.”

“Oh yeah!” “Who’s in charge here?”

“I’ll let you know.”

I had a chuckle at that as I allowed her to lead the way. She was obviously growing quickly into her new role and was gaining confidence by the minute. That could only be good for both of us.

I was glad to see that the lounge was laid out restaurant style with two, three and four seat tables rather than the long table conference room style.

We selected a two seat table and began to enjoy our meal in relative privacy. The conversation was all personal as we learned more about each other without, I suspect, any great secrets being revealed. She learned that I had never married in spite of two close calls as I put it and was currently free from any entanglements with the opposite sex. A situation with which I was happy with at the moment.

She, on the other hand, had married at a very young age. Unfortunately she had fallen for a young Jack-the-Lad Football player whose idea of what a wife was for was a port he could nestle in on the few occasions he didn’t score in a local night club or bar. It only lasted about two years with thankfully, her words not mine, no children. Since then although she had the odd boy friend here and there she had never considered getting married again.

As we were enjoying our coffee her mobile phone rang.

“Allison Grant.”

“I’m sorry but I am afraid he is at lunch at the moment.” “I do expect him back shortly however – do you want me to have him call you?”

“Oh! Very well as you wish.”

“Thank you for calling.”

Informing me that the caller had been one Ms Georgina Lucas, Football Agent, she explained that she didn’t think, correctly as it happened, that I would want to talk to her outside the privacy of my office.

Returning to our respective offices it wasn’t too long before the intercom buzzed and Allison informed me that Ms, her emphasis, Georgina Lucas was on the line.

“Ms Lucas, Jim Thomson.”

“Good afternoon Mr Thomson.” “You must be physic or something as I have you down in my diary to call today.”

“Oh and why would that be?”

“First things first Mr Thomson – you called me remember.”

“Ok fair enough.” “You know of course that I am the new Manager of Montrose Football Club.”

“Of course.”

“Well I am interested in signing one of your players, Tom Doyle.” “Do you think he would be interested in playing for us initially on a Part Time, One year contract basis?”

“Well as things stand with no other offers on the table I think he would be very interested.” “Either that or stay on holiday earning nothing and getting progressively more unfit.”

I had to admire her unexpected honesty. Agents were not normally as forthright.

“Well in that case I think the best course of action is for me to invite him up here and he can have a look around, we can have a look at him, and both decide after that.”

“I will of course accompany my client but whereas he would be your guest I would meet all my own expenses.”

“That seems fair to me.” “The one problem I have is when.” “I am virtually not available until next week which you might feel is dragging things out a bit unnecessarily but it is the situation I happen to be in at the moment.”

That’s alright with me.” “I’ll talk to Tom and provided there are no unforeseen hitches we three can get together next week.”

I put her on hold and speaking to Allison told her to make the necessary arrangements to accommodate one Tom Doyle plus female agent – preferably at a hotel other than mine. We would foot the bill for Doyle but the agent was on her own. She should call Georgina later on today to confirm the arrangements.

Getting back to Georgina I said that it was now her turn as we seemed to have gone as far as we could at this early stage with regards to Tom.

“I picked up on your appointment as Montrose’s new manager from the press releases over the weekend and no search that I have carried out has indicated that you have an agent.

“That is true – I don’t.”

“Well I think you will need one from now on and I want to offer my services.” “It sounds as though you have a busy week in front of you so maybe we could discuss things in greater detail next week in Montrose?”

“I think I agree with you about my need for an agent but I have a better idea about us getting together.” “I am in Irvine from Wednesday until Friday of this week and I’ll be staying at the Thistle Hotel just outside of town.” “Perhaps we could meet there either Wednesday or Thursday evening.” “Apart from anything else what we will be discussing is my business, nothing to do with Montrose Football Club and it would be appropriate for those discussions to be held on neutral ground.

“Wednesday will suit me fine.” “Say about seven?” “What is your mobile number in case of any last minute changes?”

We swapped numbers and I closed the conversation.

Buzzing Allison I told her to arrange a booking for me at the Thistle, Irvine for Wednesday and Thursday nights and that I anticipated arriving at the hotel round about 3 or 4 p.m. on the Wednesday.

With that done I sat back and ticked a few more boxes on my mental to do list. Unfortunately as fast as I was closing some I was opening others. Would I ever catch up I asked the brain?

I decided to freshen up a bit before the now imminent Board Meeting so informing Allison of my intentions I proceeded to christen my new bathroom.

Suitably refreshed I went into Allison’s office and said that I thought ten minutes early was about right and off we marched.

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retired_nela

He does so at his own risk, though. I was actually involved in a case about that a few months ago. The journalists kept their silence, and wound up with convictions and a suspended sentence...


Jim, I'm really glad you decided to go through with this story. You write well, and have clearly put a lot of time and effort into it. It's a very enjoyable read.

retired_bxterror29

Donners, thanks for the free legal advice, I also appreciate the fact that you, and others, seem to be enjoying the tale

retired_bxterror29

Afternoon Monday 3rd July 2006.

The Board Room was formally laid out with name cards for all the participants indicating who was sitting where. I was pleased to note that Allison was included and was sitting immediately to my right which just happened to be as far away from Head of the Table Ryan as you could get. No matter though she was obviously accepted as part of the process.

To my immediate left was Director Dave McMillan making him the nearest to Ryan on ‘our’ side of the table. Directly opposite him was Financial Director Garry Kerr with Director Barry McKay to his left and directly opposite me. ‘Their’ side of the table was completed by Director of Football Stevie McKeown opposite Allison.

The ‘circle’ was complete by I assume Sandra sitting directly opposite Ryan in her Board Secretary capacity. She was currently serving coffee which I duly accepted.

Once I had my coffee Ryan looked around and said that as we were all here and freshly watered we might as well sit down and get started.

After the inevitable paper shuffling Ryan formally opened the Meeting and invited Sandra to read the Minutes of the last meeting.

As there was not likely to be anything in those that concerned me I spent the time studying my new bosses. At this stage nobody seemed particularly interested all sitting there with blank expressions on their faces. It was very hard to tell whether I was in for a smooth ride or a hard time. I had already worked out that the main players would be Ryan, Garry and Stevie. I thought,at this stage, that the other two were merely make weights.

Ryan moved things along by welcoming Allison to the meeting and explained her role to the remainder of the Board. He added that an internal memo would be distributed that afternoon to all departments explaining the change that had been made and emphasising Allison’s role within the club.

Anything to add Jim?”

“Well just a small, but probably significant, point.” “I don’t know if everybody is aware of the fact that Football Club Managers do most of their business on the telephone it is the lifeline of our business.” “One missed call could prove to be very expensive for the club therefore you will notice that Allison’s mobile is by her hand ready to be answered should it ring.” “While at those meetings the answer will purely be to ascertain who is calling and to arrange a call back thereby keeping any disruption to a minimum.” “I hope everybody can live with that.”

“I’m sure everybody understands.” said Ryan with a challenging look to any possible objectors. So far so good I thought.


Ryan then asked for the financial report.

“The total club income last month was £11,853 with the biggest contributor to this being the sale of season tickets.”

“As agreed last year this is the first Financial Report where Administration Costs are the subject of a separate audit conducted between myself and the Chairman.”

“The total expenditure therefore is £12,249 of which football wages of £2,412 was the largest contributor.”

“The club therefore showed a loss of £1,396 for the month of June 2006

“My summation is that this is not an unexpected or catastrophic loss.” “With no income through the turnstiles it could hardly be anything else.”

“I merely wish to add that the transfer budget of £3,000 and the Football wage budget of £2,904 remain in place and are secure for this month.”

“I would like to add my personal appreciation of our new manager’s foresight in identifying a massive overstaffing within our admin staff.” “Although we have not finished rectifying this situation conservative estimates show a saving of at least £800 per week to our Administration Budget.”

This prompted an uncomfortable seat shuffle from Stevie but no comment. I imagine he resented his empire being cut by having to share a secretary. My reaction was ‘Live with it Brother’.

Ryan again asked for comments.

I thought OK go for it Jim.

“I’m sure that it is not exactly within my domain but I have been looking at our main entrance hall and quite frankly I am not impressed.” “While the direction signing may well suit some people I find it to be barely adequate at best.” “The lack of any human presence and telephone internal or external also make it a very insecure area.” “I for one would not like some bumbling civilian blundering into my office and asking me where the toilet is.”

This raised a few smiles from most but seemed to break Stevie out of his lethargy.

“I would hardly describe this club as a high level terrorist target,” he said with a smirk.

“I am not suggesting that we are Stevie all I am saying is that I am sure we could present a much friendlier, professional introduction to the club than that which exists at the moment.”

“What do you suggest Jim,” asked Ryan.

“I suggest that we completely gut the place, redecorate, fit a plush carpet, and supply a few comfortable chairs and small tables with magazines on them.” “In other words supply a comfortable, welcoming waiting area with easy access to a telephone.” “Finally I would include a desk and have it manned full time by a competent receptionist.” “I could even suggest somebody for that position who is already on our books.”

“Financially I have no idea of the total cost but as we have just ‘found’ £800 per week I suggest that the project, if adopted, would be self financing.”

“Well now there’s a thought,” said a non-committal Ryan. “Any comments?”

Garry: “Well the Financial Department have no great objections other than to say that it is generally a false economy to save money in one area only to spend it in another.” “That apart it would be a one time cost, apart from maintenance which exists for the area already, and the project, even if we are not a high priority terrorist target, does have merit.”

One down three to go I thought.

Garry continued with “Who do you have in mind for the position of receptionist Jim?”

“I understand that in addition to being a good secretary Elizabeth also possesses good people and communication skills which would in my book make her an ideal candidate.”

At this Ryan chipped in “Unfortunately Elizabeth is currently serving out our notice to terminate her contract.” “We would also have to advertise the position and under the current circumstances she might resent having to interview for the position in competition with God knows how many candidates.” “But that is a bridge to be crossed once we decide or not to adopt the proposal.”

“Any further comments?”

At this invitation Stevie finally stirred himself. “Well I do not see the necessity for such a scheme.” “The present layout of the area is well fit for purpose and I am sure we could find better things to do with the money.” “I also had it in mind to ask the board to employ Elizabeth as my exclusive secretary.” While things may be working out reasonably well at the moment I can foresee that in the future Sandra will find that she could be required in two or three places at once.” “It is only because this is not a busy time that the new system is working so well.”

I erupted.

“FORESEE!” “QUIET TIME!” “Good God man what planet are you on?”

“You didn’t foresee our one and only scout only submitting one piece of paper every month and that was his expense sheet which he probably only used as a means to supplement his income.” “Unfortunately I can’t prove that otherwise I would have reported him to the police for fraud.”

“The only reason this is a quiet time at our club is that I have only been here for a few days.” “I don’t know the staff, I don’t know the players, I don’t know our strengths I don’t know our weaknesses and that, my dear Director of Football is the reason I had the staff manage our team on Saturday before you start to accuse me of neglecting my duties!” “Quiet times my arse.” “Normally this would be the busiest time of the year looking at new players, negotiating contracts and a thousand other things I’d love to be doing rather than wasting three valuable days moving from Irvine to Montrose.”

Stevie rose half way out of his chair and extending an arm with one outstretched finger looked prepared to retaliate.

“Gentlemen,” thundered Ryan. “That is quite enough from both of you.” “I will not have these proceedings descend to the level of the street.”

“Mr Chairman, Director of Football – I apologise unreservedly.”

“Thank you Jim.” “Stevie?”

“Yes Chairman me too,” although it was said with bad grace and a total lack of sincerity.

Ryan continued “Jim, from your comments I assume that Mr Ross is no longer with us?”

“Correct Sir I would have reported that fact later to the board.”

“I also assume that you will be in Irvine to expedite a move to Montrose?”

“Correct again Sir and again that would have been passed on later at this meeting.” “I will be away from Wednesday until Friday.”

“Both items duly noted.”

“Now gentlemen back to business.” “I have a motion to convert our current entrance hall into a proper Reception Area.” “All those in favour?” Four hands were raised.

“Carried unanimously.”

“Garry I will leave it to you to speak to Elizabeth, advertise the new position and carry out interviews as you see fit.”

“The next item of business is the Direct of Footballs report however Stevie before you begin let's leave the secretary position as it stands for the moment." "We can review the situation at any time should it prove necessary."

Stevie: “ Very well Mr Chairman in that case the only report I have to make is the attempt to change my contract.” “I object in the strongest possible terms.”

I was surprised when Dave McMillan, one of my lightweights replied. “Stevie we are not changing your contract.” “It is merely correcting omissions – a clarification of your role if you wish.” “If you compare our new proposals with your original contract you can clearly see that all we are doing is adding the passage that spells out your non-involvement in any football matters.” “Nothing has been deleted from your original contract.”

“How can a Director of Football not be involved in football matters?” Stevie retorted.

“Quite easily in this and some other clubs I could mention,” said Ryan.

“Well I am still not happy nor am I about to sign anything until I have taken the matter under advisement.”

“That is your prerogative Stevie.”

“The next item on the agenda is the Managers Report.”

“Mr Chairman, Directors, there is not much to report this month for obvious reasons. I would like however to acknowledge the manner in which Gary Watt managed the team on Saturday.” “He did not play for a result, although he did obtain a very good one, but played such that I could see as many of the players in action as was possible.”

“I have advertised for an Assistant Manager and a replacement Scout although I would like if at all possible to double the strength in the latter department.” “I have had one serious enquiry so far and am arranging to meet with him in the near future.”

“It appears that we played all of last season with no naturally left sided midfielder.” “Again I have addressed that issue and hope to see a trialist/potential signing next week.”

“Perusing through our existing squad I intend no immediate changes.” “I will have to see them all in action both on the training ground and on the pitch in a proper game before I make any decisions regarding their future with the club.” “One thing I have noticed is that all our players live within a reasonable distance of the ground.” “If I want to hire any English players do we have the facilities to accommodate them?”

“Yes we have several families prepared to accommodate any of or players as lodgers in their own homes, at the club’s expense of course.” This from Garry.

“You already know of my dismissing our Scout and of my movements this week so that, Gentlemen, concludes my report.”

“Thank you Jim,” said Ryan.

“Any other business Gentlemen?”

“No – right then I declare this meeting closed.”

Stevie was first out the door closely followed by Sandra who went to fetch fresh coffee. I lingered with the others engaging in purely social chat when Barry MacKay spoke to me saying “It is about time somebody brought that upstart down a peg or two – well said Jim.”

Ryan obviously overheard and chipped in, “While I may agree or disagree with Barry you are going to have to learn not to bite so easily Jim.” “It’s bad for your blood pressure.”

I took that in the spirit it was intended and just smiled.

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