retired_bbcarr

Stirling Albion

Fresh from playing Berwick off the park, we were faced with a match against Peterhead, the only team in the league keeping pace with Dundee. Scott Michie had been brought in from Montrose for £4,000 and marked his debut with a goal in the fourth minute. We should have gone further ahead, only our wayward finishing cost us that, and John Dunn took advantage to equalise with thirteen minutes left. Ian Harty looked to have once again given us the points on eighty two minutes, but sixty second later the scores were level – and so they would remain – when Kyle Macauley buried a shot into the corner from ten yards.

Ayr had dropped below us to the foot of the table, and a win over them at Somerset Park would likely do fatal damage to their chances of survival. Their players quite obviously knew this and put us under pressure for the entire ninety minutes, but so poor were their strikers that they barely forced a save. In the end, one goal was enough to take the three points from them, and it came in just the twenty-fourth minute, right midfielder Steven Bell heading home from a corner.

Unfortunately, the previous management at the club had been rather stupid. Knowing that only five domestic loans were allowed each season, they brought in five players for half a season, thus leaving us unable to renew those loans and, unless we could find some quality free transfers, drastically short of players for the second half of the campaign. Jason Young, Ian McCaldon and Eoin Jess were hardly in the quality bracket, but they were free and willing to sign, so each was brought in and shoved straight into the first team.

Of course, the loan fiasco meant that we were also unable to properly exploit our newly signed feeder club deal with Hearts. The Tynecastle side had wanted to send us three players, each of whom were far above the quality of player we possessed, but the SFA pulled the plug and cancelled each one.

With Young, McCaldon and Jess taking their place in the starting line-up, mid-table Ross County came calling at Forthbank. For long periods the game was as dull and talentless as you’d expect a Scottish Second Division clash to be, but with quarter of an hour remaining, Michie netted his second goal for the club to send us into the lead. Our defenders, however, took that as a sign to pack up for the day at let Dene Shields waltz through untouched to bag an equaliser and a share of the points.

With a win-draw pattern emerging, it was obvious that we were going to take three points from our trip to face Stenhousemuir at Ochilview Park. Criag Brownlie – in his last match for the club before heading back to Motherwell – opened the scoring with an excellent header, but again we fell asleep and were soon pegged back by Scott McManus. Luckily, this time it was us who reacted quickly and just twenty-four seconds after McManus levelled scores, Bell drilled a twenty-five yard shot home to give us our lead back. Michael Moore extended it before half time, and though McManus pulled one back after the hour, the points were ours and so was a place outside the drop zone.

Despite going undefeated through January, I was only voted into third place in the manager of the month award, but the curse of it struck anyway as we failed to claim three points against Raith. Ian Harty got us in front in the fifty-third minute, only for our inability to hold onto a lead to strike again, allowing Steven Hislop to level on fifty-five. Harty had us back in front just after the hour, and this time our lead lasted for twenty-two minutes, unfortunately that left us six minutes short of the ninety and Hislop equalised for a second time.

Of course, the continuing win-draw pattern meant that three points were guaranteed against Cowdenbeath at Central Park. The home side had just put Celtic out of the Cup in a replay – we lost before I even took over, to Fraserburgh in round one – but all that meant was that we were better than the Tims as well, Steven Bell putting us into a two goal lead just after the half hour. New signing Eddie Forrest hadn’t read the script though, and his forty-fourth minute red card allowed Cowdenbeath right back in, two Craig Scott goals in the second half earning them a share of the points that they didn’t deserve.

BarryLFC

Home

After departing Martigues, I lived on the streets for a while, drawn slowly back into a world of drink, drugs and desperation. So desperate, in fact that I took the manager's job at Forfar, then quit, then took it again. Two days later I quit for the second and final time, moving to my home town team - Ayr United.

Of course, relegation to the Third Division was all but secured, and though an ambitious 2-5-3 formation saw the team draw 2-2 at home to Dundee, it also saw defeats to Stirling, and pretty much everyone else we faced. It wasn't all that encouraging, and we clearly lacked a goalkeeper of note. I made moves to arrange the return of John Dodds from East Fife, having last played for Ayr five years ago, and picked up a pre-contact with Elgin's Andy Shearer. In the short term, however, (the signing of Paul Mathers having failed, Mark McGeown shipping goals like nobody's business and Darren Johnson released) I turned to the youth team, selected a 17 year old and watched him excel as we beat Ross County and Raith 3-1 either side of an unlucky defeat (2-1) at Stenhousemuir.

Ultimately that led us to a grand total of 7 points from the eight games under my leadership and relegation, a dismal 13 points from the relative safety of ninth place.

The upturn in form at the tail end of the season, however, and the emergence of a potential goalie of the future meant there was some cause for optimism on Somerset Road.

shannon2007

Goodbye Scum

The truth of the matter is, it simply wasn't working out here. I had no idea why, and in the end I simply have to put it down to having a woman as Chairman. Stay in the kitchen ladies

The players I had brought in were, in my opinion, certainly good enough to remain in Division One and indeed when you looked at them on paper, there was little reason to think this group could not challenge for a place in the SPL. Football though is based a whole lot on confidence and as relegation loomed so ours just faded away and a group of players who should be doing better, panicked themselves into defeat after defeat.

A 2-0 loss to fellow strugglers Hamilton, followed by a pathetic 4-1 annihilation from Morton virtually guaranteed our fate and the lady in the board room was starting to become restless. Defeats to Clyde and Livingston were inevitable before the players proved to me what they really could do if they would just put their minds to it as they thrashed Alloa by 3-0. At Palmerston though, it was the same old story and as Stephen Dobbie completed his hattrick on the hour, I had had more then enough. The scum were 95% relegation, I was sick and tired of their disgusting fans and their urine smelling chairwoman.

As the match wore on, I left my seat in the dugout, walked out of the stadium and got the bus home. I telephoned Mrs Chairperson on the way and told her she could stick her job where the sun doesn't shine and I hoped that she and her scum buddies would enjoy the experience of the Division Two relegation battle next season.

Bye bye scum.

shannon2007

Welcome Home Buddie!

Of course I needed a job. Having been turned down for the Forfar and Rangers jobs whilst managing the Scum, as well as a couple of jobs in France - which didn't go down too well with the fans or chairman who had been intercepting my private mail - I was not overly confident that anything would come up. A couple of weeks later though, St Mirren finally dismissed Gud MacPherson and asked me kindly if I would take charge of the team.

It didn't take me too long to say yes.

There were just the final five matches to play when I arrived at St Mirren Park and the club sat a very respectable 8th in the table. There were some excellent players here but the biggest problem, certainly long term at least, was the fact that over half the squad were currently on loan from other clubs. Still, I'd worry about that when the season ended.

A trip to Rugby Park was my debut match as manager of my home town team, and what a breath of fresh air this was to prove. Icelander Hjalmar Porarinsson sent us in front after just three minutes and further goals from Luke Varney and Simon Lynch saw us coast to an excellent win that moved us up to 7th, the best of the rest as it were. Paul Gallacher bagged the only goal of the match at Motherwell and my final three matches of the season would all be at St Mirren Park.

Gavin Rae opened the scoring five minutes from half time against Inverness, but Neil McGregor - whom I would set about making a Buddie next season - grabbed an equalizer and we had to settle for a draw. Our final two opponents were battling against relegation, and although I could sympathize with them they were not getting any favours. Gavin Rae after three minutes, and Paul Huntington after 53 secure a win against St Johnstone and having done them over it would be unfair not to do the same to Falkirk, who would go down if they didn't beat us.

Frazier Campbell scored in both halves as we consigned Falkirk to Division One football next season as we secured an excellent 7th place in the table - and actually ended up with more points than 4th placed Hearts. Morally 4th then, I did suggest that it should in fact be ourselves in the UEFA Cup next season, but as usual our pleas fell on the ears of deaf morons.

Neverthless, a great end to the season and although it looks like a whole new team will have to be gotten for next term I have something now I never had before - money. And round about £2m of it as well. Let the good times roll!

retired_hern1001

Sedan

I always knew it was going to be a massive struggle to keep us up. Things were looking up though. We started to play some excellent football at times. Home against Lille for instance we dominated a team vying for a Champions League spot and came away with a 1-0 win on the back of Boutabout’s 76th minute goal. That we followed that up with a 3-0 loss against 4th placed Lyon was no shame, they’re a good side.

Fellow strugglers Valenciennes were our first opponents in March and we got off to a perfect start when Osswald scored just 26 seconds into the match. Boutabout missed a good chances three minutes later, but on six minutes, we doubled our lead, Bardon scoring from distance. We looked in control, but a total fluke goal from Bezzaz on 67 minutes got the hosts right back in it and we had to deal with their pressure in the closing stages. Thankfully, Osswald was on hand to relieve the pressure, nipping in behind the defence 7 minutes from the end and making it 3-1. He added another two minutes later to seal a convincing 4-1 win.

Nice were up next and we got hammered by a team inspired by Fanni. He was the driving force in their game and provided the opening for the first score of the day, just five minutes in. Koné grabbed two more for the hosts and while a late Christian Vieri goal gave the result a bit more bearable look, it wasn’t enough.

We needed a win against Chateauroux to stand any chance of staying in the Ligue 1, but it wasn’t to be. Vikash Dhorasoo opened the scoring with a shot from distance. We managed to hit back straight away, Osswald robbing the goalkeeper and putting it in from distance, but the guests scored another before the break to take the lead. Veteran Milan Rapaic got us back in the game from the penalty spot after a Sommeil foul in the area, but two minutes later, a dreadful backpass from Lachor ended up in his own net to see the visitors in front again. That knocked the stuffing out of us and a late goal completed the 2-4 rout for the team in 17th.

Marseille should prove much more difficult opposition in our next match, but truth to be told they were poor. With Kalac playing a great game and grabbing a clean sheet, it was up to our forwards to deliver. And that they did, Osswald and Bardon both scoring twice to give us a thumping 4-0 win and a remote chance of survival.

It was never going to happen though. Suazo led Paris Saint-Germain to a 3-0 win over us in a game that we ended with ten man after Enakarhire’s sending off for two yellows before a narrow 2-3 loss at leaders Nantes shot our morale completely to pieces. We’d led twice in the match (Bardon and Boutabout), but dreadful defending by Kirilov and an injury to Kalac killed off our bid.

Nancy were just one place above us in the table and bound for relegation as well, but with our confidence in the drain, our play went too and we lost by two goals to nil. The final game of April was a 1-0 loss at home against Lens, where Thomas Buffel of all people scored the only goal.

May started with a 1-0 loss at St. Etienne before we grabbed a meaningless point at home against Troyes in a 2-2 draw. Osswald continued his goalscoring for since coming from the reserves and Rodrigo Defendi scored with a free kick. Four games remained. Sochaux dispatched us 5-0, but we regained some credibility despite losing 2-3 against Monaco. An own goal and a Defendi free kick doing the deed for us there.

Despite our relegation having been confirmed games back, we ended the season on a high by snooping a point of 8th placed Rennes, courtesy of another Osswald goal before Christian Vieri’s late strike gave us all the points against Bordeaux. We managed to stay ahead of Guincamp in the final standings, but 19th wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Still, unlike some people, I’m not planning on jumping ship whenever things get rough. I’ll just win us the Ligue 2 next season.

retired_bbcarr

Stirling Albion

Well, I was never going to last that long at Forthbank, was I? After our run of defeat-free games, we came crashing back to earth with a 2-1 loss to Brechin at Glebe Park, though the game was notable for Jason Young’s first Stirling goal. We managed to hold onto a 0-0 draw at home against Dundee, though Scott Michie should have won us all three, but spannered two easy chances way over the crossbar.

I fully realised just how **** we were when fellow relegation strugglers Berwick came to Forthbank and left with a 2-0 victory. I have honestly never seen a football team play as badly as we did in that game. We changed to a 3-5-2 for the visit to Peterhead and somehow came away with a draw, McKeown belting in a 94th minute equaliser.

We were still in ninth though, apparantly Stenhousemuir were now the best side in the world and were beating all comers to pull away from us, but we took some solice from giving HD’s Ayr a good thumping on our own patch. McKeown grabbed his second double in as many games whilst Allison and Bell added second half efforts that cruised us to a 4-2 victory.

Our crucial, must-win game against Stenhousemuir began well as we took a two-goal lead thanks to the for-once-not-useless Michie and Adam Moffat. Unfortunately, we then forgot how to defend and let the visitors grab two goals to pull the scores level. No matter, Marek Tomana belted a free kick into the top corner in the 91st minute to seal the win. Or not. Too busy celebrating, we let John McEwan stroll through the defence and net a 94th minute equaliser.

A 3-1 defeat followed at the hands of Raith and I could take it no longer. Stirling are truly, truly ***** and I simply had no time for them any more.


Partick Thistle

I had been eyeing up the Dundee job, but for some reason their board was unwilling to sack useless numpty Craig Brown. No matter though, Partick parted company with Gerry Britton and for some unknown reason, felt I was the right guy for the job.

We started by giving Peacemaker7 something to cheer about, beating the crap out of Airdrie, though we only actually won by a blatantly offside 84th minute Adam Strachan goal, and consigning them to the play-offs as best. A single goal defeat to Clyde followed at Broadwood, ex-Jambo Graham Weir netting the only goal, but results elsewhere meant that we were officially safe from relegation.

Our penultimate game was against Division One champions Livingston and we really should have beaten the,. Mirnes Ibrahimovic put us in front and a Jamie Harris own goal had us two up in the tenth minute. Robert Snodgrass pulled one back for Livi before Ibrahimovic netted his second to give us a 3-1 half time lead. Mirnes should have had his hat-trick in the second half, he missed roughly a million chances to take it, and we paid for that with two points, Sean Kerr and Tam McManus netting late efforts for the visiting side.

We finished up the season at Recreation Park against Alloa and could have beaten them by five or six. Instead, we had to settle for two, the goals coming from Derek Young and Ibrahimovic (his fifteenth of the season) and we ended up in eighth place, although only three points behind Dunfermline in third. With Rangers as our parent club and a raid planned on their reserve team for next season, we’ll be in the SPL in no time.

shannon2007

Saint Mirren

With virtually all the squad having gone back to their respective clubs after the end of their loan periods, it was just as well I had a decent enough was of cash to spend as I was going to need it. Last season we had done very well to come 7th, and this time around I wanted to push for a UEFA Cup spot but that was not going to be easy given that I was basically starting again with a whole new team.

A trio of goalkeepers was needed. Jeremie Moreau (28) comes in from Nice, Jessy Moulin (22) comes in from Saint-Etienne and Alistair Brown (22) comes in from Falkirk. There is going to be a strong French flavour in this side, seasoned hopefully with a bit of good old fashioned Scots brawn.

Algerian Daouda Haidara (19), who has a French passport, comes in from Marseille and is backed up by Kenny Milne (28) from Falkirk and promising 17 year old Stephen McLaughlin who arrives from Celtic. Haidara is a very good player, but McLaughlin already looks a player of some potential having been capped at U-19 level and certainly a possible star of the future. Over at right back, 23 year old Mark Baxter was having a decent spell at Queen of the South and his main rivals for the right back spot are Neil McGregor (23) who comes in from Bolton where he had failed to make any impact, and Barry Callaghan (21) who arrives from Dundee United and can also play further forward.

Twenty three year former Aberdeen defender Zander Diamond who I had on loan for a short time at Airdrie, joins up with me at St Mirren. Another 23 year old, Mohamed Fofana joins from Toulouse. Veteran David Unsworth (34) remains at the club and give a bit of experience in the dressing room which is vital with such a young squad. 30 year old Swede Daniel Andersson arrives from Malmo and also offers that extra bit of experience which could be crucial as the season goes on.

In the middle of the park we have 19 year old Manfred Ekwe Ebele from Strasbourg and 20 year old Belgian Dimitri Billiet from Ajaccio offering the continental flair, with 23 year old Scott Robertson from Motherwell and 26 year old Allan Jenkins from West Brom, along with another veteran, Gavin Rae (30) providing the grit. Former Vannes player Mehmet Akyil also joins up with me again.

Luke Varney (25) is the main man on the right wing, with Robertson and Callaghan providing back up when needed, whilst on the left wing we have Benin international Anicet Adjamossi (24) who arrives from Istres and is backed up by Republic of Congo international Evans Kondogbia (19) from Lorient. Varney can also swap wings if needed.

Up front, experience Tunisian international Santos (29) comes in from Toulouse, and his main partner is likely to be Stephen Dobbie who comes in from Queen of the South. Former Rangers youth Lory Loy (20) has joined us and we have also signed up veteran Christian Vieri (35) as cover. Stewart Kean (25), Simon Lynch (26) and Icelander Hjalmar Porarinsson (22) are all still at the club. Of the three Kean is most likely to be a regular player.

shannon2007

Saint Mirren

Of course St. Mirren are not used to success. Winning the Scottish Cup every 30 years ago seems enough to keep the rather dim witted people of Paisley happy in the ghettos, with the buckie and hash. Paisley is not a nice town, St Mirren Park is a slag heap and St Mirren are rubbish. I can't do anything about the state of the town, success might bring about a better stadium though and I could certainly try and help bring that about. And I mean real success.

The players who have come in look good enough on paper to challenge for the top six, and a hopeful UEFA Cup place. Toppling the Glasgow Giants of Celtic & Rangers will take a bit longer of course, they have far more money and much better squads. Right now though, I care little about them - best of the rest is where it's at and as we set about this new season, I can only hope we are good enough for that.

The MMONGS Cup was re-established for this season, a round robin tournament in which I visited Partick (managed by Terk) and then French Ligue 2 promotion favourites Sedan (managed by WLKRAS) would have the unfortunate experience of having to come to Paisley. HD's Ayr were missed out, him refusing to answer our calls and also the fact they would just be totally embarrassed. The match in Partick was our first of the pre-season, and it showed. Even despite Partick going down to 10 men after just sixteen minutes they battled well - too well really as they injured both Daniel Andersson and Manfred Ekwe Ebele in the process. This was supposed to be a friendly but Simon's talentless gits were taking it way too seriously. The goals took ages in coming, before eventually a penalty - rather inevitable given the Partick players general clumsiness - was slotted home by pensioner David Unsworth and another elder statesman, Christian Vieri grabbed a second five minutes from time - a goal that would prove decisive.

Sedan had struggled to overcome Partick by 2-1 and so arrived in Paisley for the decider and had the audacity to go ahead on 16 minutes. A typical early season match really, which was decent enough even when I changed virtually the whole team round about an hour and Sedan were not short on changes either. Stephen Dobbie got the goal that earned us a draw, and the MMONGS Cup - which will be celebrated by St Mirren fans as if they had won the Champions League. Thats how sad and pathetic they are.

Our final warm up for the season ended in a rather dissapointing 2-1 loss at home to Bordeaux and then it was off the Tynecastle for the opening match of the SPL season. A dissapointing game in many ways, Hearts dominated but found Jeremie Moreau in fine form. A 39th minute strike though from Pospisil was enough to give the Edinburgh side all three points but we had shown enough that made me believe top six was not beyond the realms of possibility.

Our first home SPL match saw Kilmarnock visit. It is these matches we must win if we are to achieve our target, and we did so thanks to strikes by Stephen Dobbie and Allan Jenkins. We did allow Killie a late goal, from the penalty spot, but eventually held on for a good win that sees us off the mark and looking good. Another tough away match - actually most of them potentially are to be honest - as we travelled north to the sheep infested town of Aberdeen. Whilst the locals indulged in their disgusting habits, so we buggered off with all three points. A 'Dobbie Double' and a goal from Luke Varney, although once again we allowed our opponents a late consolation but this was a significant and highly pleasing triumph.

Motherwell at home next and we had to build on those two wins. A Luke Varney penalty sent us head after five minutes before Santos added a second on the half hour and at the break we were sitting comfortable. Perhaps too much so, as Motherwell were back in the game after an hour and five minutes from time they were sensationally level. Credit to the lads though, they upped their gear and an injury time strike from Varney bagged three more crucial points and its results such as these that go a long way to bringing success to clubs.

Second Division Dundee came visiting next in the CIS League Cup. A good chance to build some confidence but come half time we had failed to break down our much inferior opponents. The second half though - after a dressing room bollocking - was totally different as goals from Kean, Santos and Varney saw us through to 3rd round meeting with Hamilton, and then another yardstick away win was gained in Inverness, goals in either half from Santos and we sat 3rd as we awaited for the arrival of Rangers at St Mirren Park. A Rangers side who were 8th, and incredibly there was talk in the media that we were favourites.

Utter madness.

rastilbear

Would love to join in on this badboy in the offseason - will happily chief up one of the CFA promoted teams. Would I be allowed? Of course, I would cheerfully participate in the storyboarding, being a former, brief, member of your esteemed room.

retired_hern1001

Any new players will be subject to a try-out session to see if you fit into the current group of players and to make sure there's no connectivity issues etc. No idea when we're going to have another of those, but i'm sure it'll be announced at some point.