JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! :eek:
That's unbelievable. You've made one of the best pieces of art (in its real meaning) I've seen. This wallpaper is full of originality, creativity and at the end it looks amazing. There's a huge amount of work put in here and I'm glad you did so.
I don't think there's any relevant mistake on this one. Everything looks really well and overall the wall is smooth and there's a relation between every aspects. The only thing I'd work on is the text. I understand you want to keep it simple, and actually I agree with that, but I think you could work a bit on it, I'm not feeling it that much. Stick to a simple and nice font and play with it.
Regarding the character you added in the second version, I like it. It really suits the feel and aim of the wallpaper and emphasizes its meaning.
Submit that in DeviantArt and I'll add it to my Favourites.
As I said, that's an amazing wallpaper. Really good work, mate.